"I am young" - N46.47, November 98.

 "I am young", N46,47, November 98

 Dear editors! I'm desperate.
The guy I dated two
month, turned out to be... blue! It turns out
he dated me because I told him
I liked him “as a person.” I feel
disgraced and don’t know what to do.
Help!

 Nadya S., Saratov

 You're stupid, Nadya S., you can't
to discern happiness that is unexpected
there's a knock on your Saratov door! Well
Why did you suddenly decide that
Is dating a gay guy bad? Very much so
well, and believe us, many girls like
here and abroad they dream about it,
only... Well, they don’t pay attention to them
blue and that's it! And here: the guy comes to you
came up, we were friends for two(!) months, and you
Are you going to destroy everything now?
Immediately stop crying and listen
pimply girlfriends and call your Vova
(let's call it that)! Because otherwise
you'll lose your chance to have the most amazing
"suitor" in the world. So what if you
You don’t care about how a girl is, but, you know,
what are they, blue, amazing?..
 1. It’s not a shame to come to a gay party
party of school friends you're not
I've seen it for several years. With all my girlfriends
rude guys with bitten ones will be dragged
fingernails and holey socks, which are all
in the evening they will drink cheap beer and watch
football "Rotor" - "Shinnik". Your boyfriend
will surely capture the imagination of your classmates
exquisite perfume (not harsh, but
gentle-gentle!), tie from KENZO inforget-me-nots or daisies and carefully
ironed arrows on
pastel cream trousers. Envy of friends
whisper behind my back: “Wow, what the hell
this Nadka tore it off, but she was a fool
stupid..." - guaranteed!
 2. By the way, regarding the wardrobe... S
with the help of a close blue friend quantity
your fashion items will double! With him
You can easily change clothes! Shirts with
ruffles, clingy trousers, jackets from
"Naf-Nafa" or (depending on its
"specializations") - creaking leather
jackets and shorts, stylish sun protection
glasses, caps and cowboy boots... Nadya,
the whole of Saratov will be jealous!
 3. You, Nadya, will never have
money problems - gays at work
very much appreciated. If he is a petty clerk, wait
promotions! Surely his npumetut is the main one
the boss is a lover of strong hairy legs, and
your friend will turn in a month or two
to general manager. Blue in
leadership - it's not just fashionable, it's
trend!
 4. By the way, more about his work. Pretty
Often orientation determines profession.
If your blue buddy is young and good
himself, he may well become famous
singer, ballet dancer or artist. Isn't it
you are not attracted by the prospect of being
"new Freddy's mysterious girlfriend
Mercury (Boris Moiseev)"? Only
imagine the newspaper headlines: “Nadya S.
reveals the secrets of his friend!", "Who
this girl?" and so on. And with
some Vasya from diving
technical school is shining for youmaybe three children
and a robe worn by my mother-in-law...
 5. Now about friends. You know, because
Why do young couples quarrel most often?
Because the girl is annoyed by school
institute, and most of all army
friends of the betrothed. Tacky jokes
cigarette butts in pots with violets, doused
vodka refrigerator, vomited toilet,
choral performance of the song "We haven't been home for a long time"
were" - here it is, the standard menu
"friendly parties" after which
girls leave the most ardently
lovers... Well, how lucky you are! K
your friend will receive graceful ones,
perfumed, shaved and curled
aesthete friends. All evening you will
watch films by Kusturica and
the Coen brothers, listen to jazz and drink dry
"Balanchini"... Among his friends for sure
there will be artists to whom you will
go to vernissages, poets who will
read your poems to you, fashion designers who
They will always help you with your suit,
hairdressers who will not cut your hair
worse than Zverev... You will become a bohemian, Nadya!
 6. You know, some gays are like that
homely! So when you come in
you don't have to visit him
stand at the stove and fry potatoes or
wash the socks that have accumulated over two long days
winter months. will be waiting for you if not
steaming julienne, so risotto with mushrooms -
for sure! And embroidered napkins,
silver forks, blue
candles...
 7. What about the problems with “his mother”?
Ask your girlfriendswhat are their
relationships with potential in-laws...
It's not even a nightmare, it's worse! And here's you
your friend's mom, again to envy
friends, will love you tenderly and reverently.
Of course, you will sow timidity in her soul
hope that her bluish son
will come to his senses, get married and start a bunch
kids. All her old lady's hopes will be
connected, Nadya, exclusively with you, so
think about it carefully...
 8. Nadya, gays don’t bother you
girls on their critical days! However, in
regular ones too! Just imagine, you don't
it will be necessary, on the eve of a date with your
friend drink vinegar for sparkle in the eyes and
shave your legs! He doesn't need all this, he appreciates it
there's something in you! Remember yours
the last boyfriend, what he said,
having rolled off you in the morning? Woman
man's friend... So?..
 9. As long as you're friends with a gay guy, you won't
you need to take hormonal pills and
worry about a missed period.
Your period will not be late! You
You'll never get pregnant, they're so blue
neat... Just kidding!
 10. And finally, Nadya, you can
feel free to introduce your gay friend to
friends! He will never cheat on you
one of them!.. True, it can change with
friend... They are so addicting...