ZX News #02 30 ноября 1996

Юмор

Murphy's Laws - if something bad might happen, it happens.

          Murphy's Law
 The next edition, revised.



 Murphy's Law (U.S. unofficial.) -
The principle consists in the fact that if something bad can 
happen it happens.




   M E R O O L O G AND I


Murphy's Law



  If something bad can
happen, it happens.


Corollary



  1. All is not as easy as it sounds;

  2. Every job requires more time than you think;

  3. Of all the trouble happens
namely that the damage from which more;

  4. If the four causes of possible problems in advance 
eliminated, it is always there is a fifth;


  5. Left to themselves, the events
tend to evolve from bad to
worse;

  6. As soon as you try to do
some work, there is another that needs to be done before;

  7. Every solution breeds new problems;


Comment CALLAGHAN to Murphy's Law


 Murphy was an optimist!


The first law of Chisholm


 Anything that can go bad, spoil.



  Corollary



    Anything that can not spoil, spoiled, too.


The second law of Chisholm



  When things go well, something must
happen in the near future.



  Corollary



    1. When things are going worse than ever, in
the very near future they will still
worse.

    2. If you think that the situation
improves, then there is something you have not noticed.


The third law Chisholm



  Any suggestions people understand differently
than the one who makes them.



  Corollary



    1. Even if your explanation is so clear that precludes any 
false interpretation, there is still a man

who understand you correctly.

    2. If you believe that your action
meet universal approval, someone he
do not necessarily like it.


The first law of Scott



  No matter what that something is wrong.
Perhaps it looks good ...


The first law Fineygla



  If the experiment was a success, something here
not so ...


The third law Fineygla



  In any set of initial data is the
Reliable value that does not require any
check is incorrect.


The fourth law Fineygla



  If the job fails, then every
attempt to save her would worsen it.


Comment by Herman's theorem Ginsberg



  1. Before you can improve the situation
deteriorating.

  2. Who said that it will improve? ..


The second law of thermodynamics Everita



  Confusion in the society is constantly increasing. Only the 
very hard work it can be somewhat reduced. Itself, however, 
this attempt will lead to total confusion. 


Murphy's Law of Thermodynamics



  Under pressure All deteriorating.


Law Paddera



  Anything that begins well, ends
bad. All that nachinetsya badly, ends worse.


Theorem Stokmayera



  If you feel that the work be done easily, it will certainly 
be difficult. If the view it is difficult, therefore, it is 
absolutely impossible to fulfill. 


The first law creating dynamic systems

            Zimergi



  When you've opened a can of worms, then
the only way to seal them again
- Is using a jar more
size.


Additional comments:



  Error? It's not a bug, it is a system
function!


  Computer makes fools of us all. "


  If debugging - the process of removing bugs, then programming 
must be process of their making. - E. Dijkstra



  You have reached the point where you
No time to solve those problems that take you all the time?
Mark Davison



         THE ART OF DESIGN


The first law of corrections



  Information leading to the mandatory
Change the project, go to the author
this project, if and only if the drawings have been completed.



  Consequence



    In simple cases, when clearly
see one clearly correct option and
a clearly wrong option, often
reasonable to choose the wrong to
quickly proceed to the inevitable corrections.


The second law korrektorovki



  Than the harmless-looking change, the
greater will be its impact in the future and
the greater the drawings have to change.


The law applied confusion



  Detail that the plant forgot to put,
provides 75% of deliveries. Dismantled, you can easily find 
that the plant not only forgot to put it, but 50%

since it was never produced.



  Corollary



    1. Delivery by truck, usually
requiring one day, take 5 days, if you wait for this particular 
vehicle. 

    2. Adding 2 weeks to the provisions of
scheduled date for unforeseen delays, add another 2 weeks at 
the emergency themselves unforeseen delays. 


Theorem Vyškovská



  Regardless of the units of measurement used by the supplier 
or buyer, manufacturer will use its

own arbitrary units which are translated into units of the 
supplier or a buyer with the strange and unnatural conversion 
factors. 


Equation Sneyfu



  1. In the problem of N equations will always be N +1 unknown.

  2. The most desired thing or the most
Required information will be the least
available.

  3. Once you isprobuete all possible solutions and will not 
find a suitable, immediately there is a solution, simple and 
obvious to all others. 


Law Miksha



  If the rope has one end, then it should be another.


Laws machine programming



  1. Any current program is outdated.

  2. Any program is more expensive and
time-consuming than
anticipated.

  3. If the program is fully debugged,
it needs to be adjusted.

  4. Any program aims to take
all available memory.

  5. Value of the program is directly proportional to the 
weight of its listing. 

  6. Program complexity grows until
as long as does not exceed the ability of the programmer.


Postulates Trutmena Programming



  1. The most glaring mistake is identified,
only when the program has been in production for at least six 
months. 

  2. Control punch cards that can not stand firmly in the wrong
the order will be reversed.

  3. If appointed by a special person to monitor the purity of 
the original information, there is an ingenious

idiot who came up with a way to
Incorrect informatsich passed through this control.


Laws unreliability Jilba



  1. Computers are unreliable, but people still
unreliable.

  2. Any system that depends on human reliability is unreliable.

  3. Number of errors kotoryee not find endlessly - as opposed 
to the number of errors, which can be found: it

Of course, by definition.

  4. In search of reliability will be
invest up until
they do not exceed the amount of damages from the inevitable 
mistakes, or until no living creature demand that was made at 
least some useful work. 


Brooke's Law



  Increased attendance at training late program only slows down 
the process. 


Laws of the world of computers on the Blue



  1. Inaccurately planned program
requires three times longer than
expect, a carefully planned
- Only twice.

  2. Running a program group
abhor the weekly reporting of results, because it too clearly 
demonstrates lack thereof.



Principle Shaw



  Create a system that even a fool can use, and only a fool
wants to use it.



  THE ART OF HANDLING MACHINES


The principle of IBM



  The machine should work, people - think.


Law waywardness of nature



  It is impossible to correctly identify in advance,
which side of the sandwich smeared with oil.


Electoral Law of gravitation



  Subject matter will fall so that
inflict the most damage.



  Consequence Jenning



    The probability that the sandwich falls butter side down is 
directly proportional the cost of the carpet.




  Consequence Klipshteyna



    Drop the most fragile part.


Law department, Anthony



  Any tool if dropped, rolled into the most inaccessible corner 
of the shop. 



  Consequence



    Rolling up into a corner, it will first hit you on the toes.


The principle of spare parts



  During the search for small spare
parts that have fallen from the workplace, the probability of 
detection is directly proportional to the size of the parts and 
inversely proportional to their importance for the completion 
of work. 


Law Fields



  From the floor can not fall.


Watson Law



  Reliability is inversely proportional to the number and 
position of the persons for watch him.



The second law Vyškovská



  All you can establish if the fumble for a long time.


Law Lowery



  Jammed piece - push it. If it
broken - nothing: still it must be
was replaced.


Schmidt Law



  If long enough to spoil the car
it will break.


The first law of opposition Fudda



  Push something heavy, and it capsize.


Axiom Kahn



  If nothing else helps - read, finally, a guide.



 ART RESEARCH


Law Research Murphy



  In defense of his theory can always be
hold a sufficient number of studies.


Law Myers



  If the facts do not support the theory of
They need to get rid of.



  Corollary



    1. The theory is better than it is wordy.

    2. The experiment can be considered a success if you want 
to drop no more than 50% measurements made to achieve 
compliance with the theory. 


Theory Edington



  Number of hypotheses to explain this phenomenon, which is 
inversely proportional to the volume knowledge about it.



The fourth law test



  How to carefully and thoroughly you may
prepared sample, you can always say that it is wrong and does 
not apply to the problem.



Rule accuracy



  Working on the solution of the problem, always
useful to know the answer.


Law Yang



  All great discoveries are made by mistake.


The law of large problems Hoare



  Inside every large problem is sitting a little, trying to get 
out. 


Law laboratory Fett



  Never attempt to replicate successful
experiment.


Cooper's Law



  If you do not understand a word in
technical texts, do not worry about it
attention. All text remains
sense without it.


Sixth Parkinson's Law



  Progress in science is inversely proportional
Among the emerging magazines.


The principle of completeness,



  Scientists have so gone to his head every
once that they do not see any phenomenon as a whole, including 
our own research. 


Law Meskimena



  There is never enough time to do the job right, but the fact 
that its remake, currently located.




 R A W and T A I M E R O O L O G AND I


Generalization effects made Shnetterli



  Even if the nuisance does not happen, it happens.


Paradox Silverman



  If Murphy's Law can not work
it works.


Advanced Murphy's Law



  If you can happen a few troubles, they occur in the most 
unfavorable sequence. 


Consequence of the 5th Farnsdika investigation



  After the turn of events from bad to
worse, the cycle will repeat.


Expansion of Murphy's Law, made

           Gattuso



  There is no such a bad situation, which is not
could become even worse.


Mob law



  When events take a sharp turn,
all washed off.


Law Evans and Björn



  Whatever the trouble did not happen,
there is always someone who knew so
it will be.


The principle of Benedict
before 9 th consequence Murphy



  In nature, always hidden secret vice.


Act disclosure



  All secrets become revealed.


Law Helranga



  Wait a minute - and bad by itself will disappear.



  Expansion proposed by Sheyvlsonom



  ... inflicting damage provisions.


Supplement Grelba



  If the situation was not favorable,
she repeated.


Misquotation of the law

    JL Menkina Grossman



  Complex problems are always simple,
easy to understand wrong decisions.


Law Flagg



  Came a need to knock on wood - you discover that the world 
consists of alllyuminiya and plastic. 


Law unwise conservation dirt



  To clear one, need another dirty.



  Expansion Freeman



  ... but you can blur everything, nothing
clearing.


Law Buba



  What you seek you will find only searched
everything.


Law Search



  Should start looking from the wrong place.


Marianne Law



  There is always something that was not looking.


Rune rules



  If you do not care where you are;
so you do not get lost.


Thesis Coit Murphy about the strength

     negative thinking



  Optimist good news will not surprise


Rule Ferguson



  The situation becomes irreversible when
can no longer say: "Let us all forget!".


The law no retroactive effect



  You can not make it rain, starting a car wash.



  Direct action:



  Once you only wash your car as
immediately starts to rain.


Saving grace Murphy



  Worse - an enemy bad.


The main paradox



  An optimist believes we live in a better
of all possible worlds. A pessimist fears that the way it
is.


Law Neysdra



  You can make fool-proof, but
only on neizobretatelnogo.



  SITUATIONAL M E R O O L O G AND I


Recovery Act, the proposed

           Dreyzenom



  Time improvement is inversely proportional to the time of its 
deterioration. 



  Examples



    1. On bonding vase takes more
time than that to break it.

    2. To lose weight, have more time to recover than the same 
amount. 


Law cafeteria



  What you see in the window, buys
who visited before you.


Observation Ettore (from "Murphy's Law I")



  Neighboring queue always moves
faster.



  Option observations Ettore, proposed
            LIMITED O'Brien



    Once you move to another
turn your ex starts to move
faster.



  Consequence Kenton



    Your throwing back and forth inflate
both queues.


The principle of the queue



  The greater the expectation, the greater the chance that you 
are not standing in the queue. 


Law Whitten



  Whenever you shorn fingernails later
hours you need them.


Hutchison Law



  Need to focus is always accompanied by an irresistible
desire to escape.


Laws of Journalism Fuller



  The farther you are from a disaster has occurred
or accident, the more you want dead and wounded, to get
newspaper reports.


Laws of truth in the report



  1. The closer you the facts described in the
print, the more obvious errors in filing
this material.

  2. The farther you are from these facts, the
more likely to believe the message.


Law letters



  It is necessary to seal the letter in my head
come fresh ideas.


Law zoos and museums Jones



  In the most interesting exhibits are no signs with the name.


Law Publications Jones



  When printing of the book it always creeps few bugs that no 
one not even notice.




  Consequence of the Bloch



    By opening an advance copy on any page, the author 
immediately stumble on the very grave mistake.



Rules for Drawing Wood



  1. Never draw what you can
copy.

  2. Never copy what you can
circle.

  3. Never stroke a fact that can be
cut and paste.


Laws photos



  1. Opportunity for best picture
comes when used in the last frame.

  2. Good shots are usually done at
closed lens.

  3. Good shots are lost, when
manifestation of someone inadvertently opens
Door and film illuminates.


The law of Sir Walter



  The lower you sit, the harder hit.


Postulate Harrisson



  Every action there is an equal to him
prodivodeystvuyuschaya criticism.


Rule Rogers



  The project will take only if none of the commissioners can 
not be blamed for failure, but success at all will be able to 
qualify for promotion. 


Theorem inevitability Bachmann



  The greater the costs for the plan, the less likely to refuse 
it - Even if he is insolvent.




  Consequence



    The higher the prestige of the people behind
Plan, the less chance of cancellation.


Conway's Law



  In any organization there will always be
a man who knows what is really going on. Its what needs to be 
fired. 


Law retroactivity Stewart



  Easier to get forgiveness than permission.


A theorem on the recruitment Loftus



  1. Invited experts from afar
always seem to be better than homegrown. (No
prophet in his own country.)

  2. Recruitment - a triumph of hope over experience.


Fifth control law Loftus



  Supervised by the book, even if you do not know
neither the author nor the title.


The first rule of the inferiority of the authorities



  Do not let your supervisor know,
that you - smarter.


Whistler's Law



  Never know who is right, but always
know who is responsible.


The laws of initial data of Spencer



  1. Everyone can make a decision,
raspologaya sufficient information.

  2. A good leader makes a decision and its scarcity.

  3. Perfect - operates in absolute
ignorance.


Rule Gottlieb



  If the chief is trying to make
impression on the slave knowing the details, he loses sight of 
the ultimate goal. 


The first rule of negative prediction



  You will save yourself from many unnecessary troubles, if 
burn bridges at once, as soon as you approach them.



Starting principle socioeconomics



  In a hierarchical system of remuneration
is directly proportional to the attractiveness
and ease of work.


The law of professional practice Drew



  Who pays less than all, more than any
complains.


Cohn's Law



  Do bureaucrats stream of papers so abundant,
The more time spent on reports
all the smaller volume of work. Sustainable
state is achieved when all of its
time you spend on a record of doing nothing.


MacDonald's Second Law



  Consultants - mysterious people: they
request from the Company any indicator, then give him a report.


Law Dingle



  If someone has something fell, then kicked,
but do not pick up.


Law Kushner



  Chances to do the work back
proportional to the number of persons on duty
services are obliged to do so.


Principle Pfeiffer



  Never make decisions for yourself
if you can get someone to solve
another.



  Consequence



    Nobody will write something that you could
done, but did not, however each
have a list of your mistakes.


Joe Law



  Person with whom the HMS had a hard time making friends, will 
be the first person fired during reorganization.



The principle of "hurry-and-wait" Loposhayskogo



  Came early in the morning - had already been canceled. 
Razbivaeshsya a cake to arrive on time - Wait. Delayed - late 
hopeless. 


Axiom Gurd



  At the meetings - saving minutes and lose hours.


Law Matilda Education Subcommittees



  It is necessary to leave the room, as you here
also elected.


Control law of Wellington



  Upstairs are going to cream. And the foam too.



Ability to work and office MERFOLOGIYA


Hardin Law



  Never fails to do one thing.


The fourth law Hecht



  There is no better time than now. Better to postpone what you 
do not want to do. 


Lemma Grossman



  Any worthwhile job worth doing
yesterday.


Derivative of Murphy's Law, proposed by
             Harry Nye



  The more complex and ambitious plan to
more likely that he will fail.


Axiom Dehaya



  Simple job delay, assuming
that there is always time to do it
later.


The four principles of production worker



  1. In the toolbox, not enough
namely that a wrench or drill
are needed.

  2. For most of the operations
need three hands.

  3. The remaining nut never fit in the remaining bolts.

  4. The more carefully drafted,
the more confusion, if something went wrong.


Rule accuracy Ray



  Measured with a micrometer. Mark the chalk.
Cut off with an ax.


The first law of repair



  You can not fix what is not broken.


The first rule of smart repair



  Nothing was thrown away.


Law Smith, a computer repair



  Holes for the screwdriver is always half a millimeter smaller 
than usual. 



  Consequence



    The openings of suitable size will be in inaccessible 
locations. 


The second law Yaruka



  If the new machine is cheaper, the company
will insist on repairing the old one.



  Consequence



    If cheaper to repair an old
machine, the company will insist on buying the latest model.


The laws of engineering design, pre
            closely spaced Gore



  1. The main function of the developer - to create things that 
are difficult to produce and it is impossible to maintain.


  2. Components of the scheme, which is the
short life, is placed in the least accessible place.

  3. In any scheme must be kept on
At least one outdated part two
scarce, and three - are at the stage
development.



  Corollary



    1. Engineer fitter will draft
in line with the existing level of
technology.

    2. The instructions are
changes will not be mentioned.


Six law office Merfologii



  1. If the business letters and will not be
no errors, then on almost anything
da mess.



     Consequence



       Errors are detected in the second copy boss, when he 
begins to read them. 


  2. Office equipment, work flawlessly
afternoon break, when you come in the evening to the office to 
use it personal purposes.


  3. Broken machine will be fine
work when it comes to her mechanic repair.

  4. Envelopes and stamps, which you liznuv language 
unsuccessfully glued to envelope will adhere themselves to

all extraneous subjects.

  5. It is vitally important papers trace their
an important life, disappeared from his place.

  6. The last one who resigns or gets laid off, will be 
considered responsible for all the sins - until the next one - 
the same. 


Dilemma DESVRES



  If you simultaneously press the two keys of a typewriter, it 
will print one you clicked by accident.



Theory of sampling



  It is in the unique all day
when you sat back and
relaxed through the office will be held from
bypass boss.



   Ability to maintain RESEARCH


The first law in the laboratory



  Hot bulb looks exactly the same
as well as cold.


Typically for laboratory



  When you do not know what you're doing, do it carefully.


The eighth rule Fingeyla



  Teamwork is very important. It allows you to blame others.


Credo Fingeyla



  Truth in Science. Do not let the facts
mislead you.


Summary determinant of modern science



  1. If green or jerks - it's
biology.

  2. If stinks - chemistry.

  3. If does not work - physics.


Law Muench



  Nothing is better for successful
innovation as the lack of inspections.


Law stratigraphy Mai



  The quality of correlation
inversely proportional to the density of points.


Laws experimentation Vesilinda



  1. If you repeat the experiment
difficult to spend it once.

  2. If you want to draw a straight line, get it only by two 
points. 


Law Technology Lerman



  Any technical problem can be overcome with enough time and 
money. 



  Consequence Lerman



    You will always be missed or
time or money.


Lemma on the prevention of innovations Rocky



  Funders abandon
your proposal, if it results
will not be known in advance.


The second postulate of thumb



  Simple and acceptable false helpful
complex and obscure the truth.


First Jones Act



  The scientist who made a significant contribution to
any area of ​​research and continue to work in it long enough
here becomes a stumbling block
progress - in direct proportion to the significance of their 
initial deposit. 


Mann Act



  If a scientist discovered a fact fit
for print, the latter becomes
central element of his theory.



  Consequence



    This theory, in turn, becomes central to all scientific
direction.


Rule line



  Straight lines do not exist.


Error law Grelba



  For any sequence of computation errors will be detected at 
the other end, which is opposed to the beginning of testing. 


Axiom Roberts



  There are just wrong.



  Berman consequence of the axioms Roberts



   That for one mistake to another -
original data.


The Fifth Law of insecurity



  To err is human nature, but
finally all the confusion can only
computer.


The third law Grid



  Computer program does what
you ordered it to do, not something that would
you wanted her to do.


The first computer axiom Leo Beizer



  Laying something in the computer, remember where
you put it.


Guidance on system programming
            Niya Shteynbaha



  Do not reveal errors in the program unless you know what 
happened to them on do.




Art of managing the affairs of state and

            EKONOMERFOLOGIYA


Law Lieberman



  Lie to everything, but it does not matter
because nobody listens.


Sausage principle



  Those who love sausage and respect the law, do not see how it 
is done and another.



The first two political principles Todd



  1. No matter what you say - you do not speak the whole truth.

  2. No matter what they say - it is always about making money.


Watergate principle



  Corruption in government has always said in the past tense.


The principle of Alinsky radicals



  The most moral are usually those
who are furthest from solving problems.


Miles Law



  The angle of view depends on the occupied
place.


Evans Law



  If you keep my head on his shoulders,
when all around are losing their means, you
just do not understand the situation.


Rule Distortions



  Moving up the chain of command upwards
information is distorted.


The Act delegated Rusk



  If the delegation of authority to give
attention, the responsibility will accumulate at the bottom, 
like the draft. 


Observation Hongrena



  Among economists, the real world is often considered a 
special case. 


Laws Price



  1. While everyone will not want to, no one
receive.

  2. Man of the masses must serve
mass means.

  3. Catching everything.


Act O'Brien



  Reasonably do nothing.


Success Formula Glayma



  The secret of success - in sincerity. As
Only you will be able to portray it, consider what's in the bag.



        ART TO BE AN EXPERT


Rule Mars



  Judge - not anyone from our
city.


Weber's definition



  Expert - a man who knows everything
more and more about less and less
until you know everything is absolutely nothing.


Warren Rule



  As the experts have to take someone who believes that the 
work will take a lot of time and cost is very expensive. 


Schroeder Law



  Indecision - the basis of flexibility.


Rule Berke



  Never place a task that you do not know.



  Consequence



    Put the problem on which the decision
There is only you.


Aphorism Matza



  Conclusion - a place in the text where you're tired of 
thinking. 


Typically the last forecast Fagin



  Hindsight - that's fine
Science.


The first rule of history



  History does not repeat itself - historians are
repeat each other.


The laws of physics Dunlap



  1. Fact - it solidified opinion.

  2. Under high temperatures
pressure and the facts are softened.

  3. The truth is elastic.


Maxim Merkin



  If in doubt in the forecast, saying that this trend will have
place in the next period.


Decision Halgrena



  If you were trapped, fog.


Hawkins' Theory of Progress



  Progress does not consist in replacing the incorrect theory 
on the right, and the replacement incorrect theory on the wrong 
way, but refined.



Meyer's Law



  Complicate - simply, simplify - is complicated.


Law Hleyda



  The solution of complex tasks are assigned to a lazy worker - 
he will find an easier way.



Hunt Law



  In every great idea has a disadvantage,
equal to or exceeding the greatness of this
ideas.


Shaver Hellona



  Do not consider malicious intent is
which is understandable stupidity.



      C & S T E M A H T I K A


The main theorem



  New system of the fetus to new problems.



  Consequence



    Do not unnecessarily multiply the
new systems.


The generalized uncertainty principle



  Systems tend to grow and grow vzaimorastvoryatsya.



  Other formulations



    1. Complex systems lead to unexpected consequences.

    2. The combined behavior of large systems can not be 
predicted. 


A theorem on the behavior of nonadditive systems



    Most system formed increasing size smaller, it behaves 
quite differently from her predecessor. 


Unreliability of performance information

         duties



  People within systems behave quite
not as prescribed.


Unreliability of information about the executed
work



  The system itself does not behave like
prescribed.


15-th law Systemantics



  The current complex system has consistently
formed from the current simple system.


16-th law Systemantics



  A complex system designed in a hurry, never works, and fix
it to make it work, is impossible.


Basic postulates of the theory developed systems



  1. All - system.

  2. All - part of an even larger system.

  3. The universe is infinite systematization as a bottom-up 
(all larger system) and down (lower

system).

  4. All systems are infinitely complex. (The illusion of 
simplicity is due to focus on one or more variables.)



Principle Shatelera



  Sozhnye systems tend protovopostavlyat themselves to their 
same functions. 



   MEDICAL M E R O O L O G AND I


Six Principles for Patients



  1. If the doctor knows what is called
your discomfort, it does not mean that
He knows what it is.

  2. The more boring and old magazines in the waiting room, the 
longer you have to wait. 

  3. On the bubbles from the medications should
would not write "Keep away from children" and "Keep away from 
adults." 

  4. On the last day of medication
pills or not at all, or remains
too much.

  5. Medicine that must be taken
simultaneously with food, will be most unpleasant to the taste.



     Consequence



       Even water to drink unpleasant, if it
prescribed by a doctor.


  6. If your health improves,
perhaps it is because the doctor
it is getting worse.


Rule Matza on medicines



  Drug - a substance which, when introduced into a rat, gives 
scientific result or an article. 


Aphorism Kohreyna



  Get a referral to the analysis, consider what you do if the 
result is: a) positive, b) negative. If the answers match, the 
need for analysis disappear. 



  Comment Lord Cohen



    Available actions - is not an indication that it should be 
done. 


Laws care Telesco



  1. All televisions are on another
the end of the chamber.

  2. Talent is inversely proportional to the doctor
opportunity to get to see him.

  3. There are two types of plaster: one
which can not be glued, and one that can not be removed.

  4. All require an injection at the same time.

  5. Who did not give to put him at the appointed time, require 
the injection, when hand out sleeping pills.



Rule Baraja



  Alcoholic - someone who drinks more
your doctor.



 SCIENCE consumes IKUSSTVO SELL


Law Hebloka



  If the product is good, it ceases to produce.


Act Gold



  If the shoe on the foot, it looks disgusting.


Laws buying clothes Hedley



  1. If you liked the costume, you do not have your size.

  2. If you liked the costume, and you want
size is, then he is still on you
somehow does not fit.

  3. And like, and suitable, but not
pocket.

  4. And like, and suitable, and affordable, but at the first 
fitting is bursting at the seams.



The basic principle of the transaction Finmena



  What you like, always there to
sale.


Rules Heshayza



  1. Goods labeled "New" or "improved model" is not.

  2. Both of these labels mean that the price
jumped.

  3. Labeled "A totally new product"
or "Amazing new" means that
price creeping up.


The first law of consumption syn



  60-day guarantee means that
goods will fall apart at the 61st day.


Act "of goods by mail" Savignano



  If you do not you please, then never
get what zakazyvali.Esli still you please, you receive the 
order before your angry letter comes on address.



The Law of Lewis



  Always want to buy what was left in
one copy.



M E R O O L O G AND I OF HOUSEHOLD


Law cuisine O'Reilly



  Cleanliness - is something of a discharge is impossible.


The Seven Laws of kitchen clutter



  1. None device universal food processor will not work 
properly. 



     Consequence



       The more expensive the processor, the less they
enjoy.


  2. The simpler the instruction (eg,
"Click here"), the harder it is to find where
all the same press.

  3. To the family recipe, just discovered in an old cookbook
unit of the main component
is written unclearly.

  4. If the dish is really messed up, all that
Whatever you added to his rescue
only worsen the matter.

  5. In the excitement always comes from
dishes, which require the least
efforts to prepare. Example: If you
cooked duck with apples, you will receive compliments for the 
roasted potatoes. 

  6. If you had to specifically go to
shop for some products, namely
it will show your guests are allergic.

  7. The more time and effort you put into preparing lunch, the 
more the probability that the guests all the time will be

discuss other prior to this
lunches.


Laws cuisine Alice Hammond



  1. Souffle rises and whipped cream just for cooking family
lunch or dinner for guests, which you
in fact, and did not want to invite.

  2. If some of the eggs will be the only spoiled, it is 
precisely its something you have smash into the batter for a 
cake. 

  3. You put in the dishwasher some cookware, as it
immediately needed, or if you used
dimensional mug for liquids, it immediately
also need to measure
something dry.

  4. Time on food consumption is inversely
proportional to the time of its preparation.

  5. Whatever dish you're not prepared,
find that your guest ate his
breakfast.


Laws Housewives



  1. If in doubt, they drew a
meat from the freezer to make it defrosted, it means you forgot 
to do it. 

  2. If you do not remember off or
coffee, then you do not shut down.

  3. If you decide to go on the road for
bread and eggs, thinking that they are not at home,
they will be home.

  4. If you doubt there will be enough money for dinner with 
his family in a restaurant, so they will not suffice. 


Usually washed glassware Hamilton



  Spot you are trying to
otskresti, always on the other side.



  Consequence



    If the stain is in, till it is impossible to reach.


Law Yedzhera



  Washing machines break down only in
during washing.



  Consequence



    All breakdowns occur on the day
when the vehicle off.


Law housekeeping Walker



  Dirty linen is always more than pure.


 Refutation of the Law Walker, put forward
           Toe Cleve



    If it's clean, it is - no linen.


Law Skoffa



  The dirty floor baby will be nothing
pour or sprinkle.


Van Roy's Law



  Unbreakable toy is useful for
to break it more.


Laws of behavior of offspring, the proposed

                Uittslingom



  1. Child, chatting at home without peredyhu, away 
categorically refuses utter a word.


  2. Any shy child chooses
crowded place to loudly demonstrate newly acquired vocabulary 
("hell", etc.). 


The laws of animal behavior, the proposed
Fishem



  1. The probability that the cat eats
proposed meal, has no connection with the price of the latter.

  2. The probability that the family pet
(Cat or dog) will raise the noise of rushing, running out of 
the room, directly proportional to the number and importance of 
guests Invited to dinner.



Consequence of Parkinson's Law for teens offered by Fiske



  The stomach is stretched to take
futility in terms of adult food (soft drinks, Pepsi-Cola, candy
etc.).


Banana principle



  If you buy unripe bananas, then to
time of maturation, these will not remain.
If you bought them ripe bananas spoil before they have time to 
eat. 


The law of relativity Bellensa



  Minutes duration depends on
of which side of the door to the bathroom
room you are.


Usually green thumb, exported cultural
             dennoe Britto



  Life expectancy houseplant is inversely proportional
its price is directly proportional to its
unattractive sight.


Law retransmissions



  If you've watched on TV some of the series and suddenly see
it again, then get to repeat the same
episode.


Laws television programs Jones



  1. Two interesting programs are always
at the same time.

  2. The only interesting program
will be canceled.

  3. Transfer, you've been waiting all week, will be shown 
before the mean Camping in the program.



Universal principles Bess



  1. Phone rings when you are in front of the apartment and 
unsuccessfully trying to open it. 

  2. Handset you grab just as
when it will sound the last posts.


Kovak mystery



  If the wrong dial, will never beeps "busy".


Appendix Parkinson's Law, derived

                Ryan



  Shopping seeking to fill all available storage space.



             SOTSIOMERFOLOGIYA

         ART TO BE HUMAN


Shirley Law



  Most people deserve each other.


Laws of love proposed by Arthur



  1. People to whom you are attracted invariably think you 
named someone recalls. 

  2. If you have finally ventured
Send a love letter, it is so
long it will go in the mail that you are for it
time will have time to expose yourself to ridicule.

  3. Romantic gestures seem to others
unusual and exciting. And your
own - as stupid and clumsy.


Act wedding costs Thom



  Duration of marriage is inversely proportional to the costs 
of the wedding. 


Rule the neighborhood around the room



  Anyone who snores, falls asleep first.


Logical proposals Kolvarda



  All probabilities are 50%. Either happen or not.



  Unconscious comment



    This is especially true when dealing with a woman.



  Comment Grelba to the provisions of
Kolvarda



    The reliability of this result to
90% are not in your favor.


The principle of overlapping acquaintances



  The probability of finding buddies grows, if you go with the 
person, familiarity with which you do not want to advertise.



Complaint Cheytsa



  If you helped a friend in trouble, he probably will remember 
you, when once again be in distress. 


Law Denniston



  Virtue - is itself the punishment.



  Consequence



    Once you have done something right, then someone will ask 
you to do it again. 



    Comment Bloch



      Sledstvme absolutely consistent
following statement: virtue is not
remains unchecked. Law Denniston
has a wider range of applications.


Watching Ron for teens



  1. Pimples on the face appear somewhere in
hour before the meeting.

  2. Scratches on the plate always goes through the most 
favorite song. 


The underlying principle of socio-genetics



  Superiority complex is transferred to
inheritance.


Professor Blok's slogan



  Forgive and remember.


The first postulate Pardo (of "Murphy's Law
I ")



  All that is good in life, either
illegal or immoral, or leads to
obesity.


Jacob's Law



  To err is human nature, but
blame mistakes on others - more typical.


Council Edelstein



  Do not worry about what other people on
you think. They are too concerned
what do you think about them.


Law Meader



  What would you no matter what, all this
has happened to someone you know has just been worse.


Law Bokledzha



  He who laughs last, probably
did not understand the joke.



         M E T A - Z A K O H Li


Law Didzhiovanni



  Number of laws seeking to fill all
available for publication space.


Blessing Leo Rogers in the second
book, "Murphy's Law"



  If life is worth trying, do not
sin and overdo it.


Observation of Rogers on the laws



  The higher authority, the less there are appreciated Murphy's 
Law, Peter Principle, etc. 


Saying Jaffa



  There are things that we can not know
but it is impossible to know what kind of things.


Law Muir



  When we try to pull something
one, it turns out that it is associated with
all the rest.


Axiom Ducharme



  If we consider the issue sufficiently
carefully, you will see themselves as
Part of the problem.


Last Act



  If both could occur a few troubles, but it did not ultimately 
be better if they still occur.



  Chance to hit in the face of smoke from
cigarette or from the fire is directly proportional to your 
sensitivity to smoke. 


The first law of airports Kaufman



  The distance to the gate to the plane is in inverse relation
of time during which you can still catch
for the flight.


Rogers Law



  Worth the flight attendant spread passengers
coffee, as the plane starts to vibrate.



  Explanation of the Law Rogers proposed
             Noah Davis



    Submission of coffee on the plane causes the vibration.


The basic principle of luggage



  Which carrier would you stood,
your luggage will appear on the other.



     IERARHOLOGIYA AND SCIENCE MEETING


Postulate Parkins



  The lower you sit, the harder hit.


Postulate Harrisson



  Every action there is an equal to him
prodivodeystvuyuschaya criticism.


Rule Rogers



  The project will take only if none of the commissioners can 
not be blamed for failure, but success at all will be able to 
qualify for promotion. 


Theorem inevitability Bachmann



  The greater the costs for the plan, the less likely to refuse 
it - Even if he is insolvent.




  Consequence



    The higher the prestige of the people behind
Plan, the less chance of cancellation.


Conway's Law



  In any organization there will always be
a man who knows what is really going on. Its what needs to be 
fired. 


Law retroactivity Stewart



  Easier to get forgiveness than permission.


A theorem on the recruitment Loftus



  1. Invited experts from afar
always seem to be better than homegrown. (No
prophet in his own country.)

  2. Recruitment - a triumph of hope over experience.


Fifth control law Loftus



  Supervised by the book, even if you do not know
neither the author nor the title.


The first rule of the inferiority of the authorities



  Do not let your supervisor know,
that you - smarter.


Whistler's Law



  Never know who is right, but always
know who is responsible.


The laws of initial data of Spencer



  1. Everyone can make a decision,
raspologaya sufficient information.

  2. A good leader makes a decision and its scarcity.

  3. Perfect - operates in absolute
ignorance.


Rule Gottlieb



  If the chief is trying to make
impression on the slave knowing the details, he loses sight of 
the ultimate goal. 


The first rule of negative prediction



  You will save yourself from many unnecessary troubles, if 
burn bridges at once, as soon as you approach them.



Starting principle socioeconomics



  In a hierarchical system of remuneration
is directly proportional to the attractiveness
and ease of work.


The law of professional practice Drew



  Who pays less than all, more than any
complains.


Cohn's Law



  Do bureaucrats stream of papers so abundant,
The more time spent on reports
all the smaller volume of work. Sustainable
state is achieved when all of its
time you spend on a record of doing nothing.


MacDonald's Second Law



  Consultants - mysterious people: they
request from the Company any indicator, then give him a report.


Law Dingle



  If someone has something fell, then kicked,
but do not pick up.


Law Kushner



  Chances to do the work back
proportional to the number of persons on duty
services are obliged to do so.


Principle Pfeiffer



  Never make decisions for yourself
if you can get someone to solve
another.



  Consequence



    Nobody will write something that you could
done, but did not, however each
have a list of your mistakes.


Joe Law



  Person with whom the HMS had a hard time making friends, will 
be the first person fired during reorganization.



The principle of "hurry-and-wait" Loposhayskogo



  Came early in the morning - had already been canceled. 
Razbivaeshsya a cake to arrive on time - Wait. Delayed - late 
hopeless. 


Axiom Gurd



  At the meetings - saving minutes and lose hours.


Law Matilda Education Subcommittees



  It is necessary to leave the room, as you here
also elected.


Control law of Wellington



  Upstairs are going to cream. And the foam too.



Ability to work and office MERFOLOGIYA


Hardin Law



  Never fails to do one thing.


The fourth law Hecht



  There is no better time than now. Better to postpone what you 
do not want to do. 


Lemma Grossman



  Any worthwhile job worth doing
yesterday.


Derivative of Murphy's Law, proposed by
             Harry Nye



  The more complex and ambitious plan to
more likely that he will fail.


Axiom Dehaya



  Simple job delay, assuming
that there is always time to do it
later.


The four principles of production worker



  1. In the toolbox, not enough
namely that a wrench or drill
are needed.

  2. For most of the operations
need three hands.

  3. The remaining nut never fit in the remaining bolts.

  4. The more carefully drafted,
the more confusion, if something went wrong.


Rule accuracy Ray



  Measured with a micrometer. Mark the chalk.
Cut off with an ax.


The first law of repair



  You can not fix what is not broken.


The first rule of smart repair



  Nothing was thrown away.


Law Smith, a computer repair



  Holes for the screwdriver is always half a millimeter smaller 
than usual. 



  Consequence



    The openings of suitable size will be in inaccessible 
locations. 


The second law Yaruka



  If the new machine is cheaper, the company
will insist on repairing the old one.



  Consequence



    If cheaper to repair an old
machine, the company will insist on buying the latest model.


The laws of engineering design, pre
            closely spaced Gore



  1. The main function of the developer - to create things that 
are difficult to produce and it is impossible to maintain.


  2. Components of the scheme, which is the
short life, is placed in the least accessible place.

  3. In any scheme must be kept on
At least one outdated part two
scarce, and three - are at the stage
development.



  Corollary



    1. Engineer fitter will draft
in line with the existing level of
technology.

    2. The instructions are
changes will not be mentioned.


Six law office Merfologii



  1. If the business letters and will not be
no errors, then on almost anything
da mess.



     Consequence



       Errors are detected in the second copy boss, when he 
begins to read them. 


  2. Office equipment, work flawlessly
afternoon break, when you come in the evening to the office to 
use it personal purposes.


  3. Broken machine will be fine
work when it comes to her mechanic repair.

  4. Envelopes and stamps, which you liznuv language 
unsuccessfully glued to envelope will adhere themselves to

all extraneous subjects.

  5. It is vitally important papers trace their
an important life, disappeared from his place.

  6. The last one who resigns or gets laid off, will be 
considered responsible for all the sins - until the next one - 
the same. 


Dilemma DESVRES



  If you simultaneously press the two keys of a typewriter, it 
will print one you clicked by accident.



Theory of sampling



  It is in the unique all day
when you sat back and
relaxed through the office will be held from
bypass boss.



   Ability to maintain RESEARCH


The first law in the laboratory



  Hot bulb looks exactly the same
as well as cold.


Typically for laboratory



  When you do not know what you're doing, do it carefully.


The eighth rule Fingeyla



  Teamwork is very important. It allows you to blame others.


Credo Fingeyla



  Truth in Science. Do not let the facts
mislead you.


Summary determinant of modern science



  1. If green or jerks - it's
biology.

  2. If stinks - chemistry.

  3. If does not work - physics.


Law Muench



  Nothing is better for successful
innovation as the lack of inspections.


Law stratigraphy Mai



  The quality of correlation
inversely proportional to the density of points.


Laws experimentation Vesilinda



  1. If you repeat the experiment
difficult to spend it once.

  2. If you want to draw a straight line, get it only by two 
points. 


Law Technology Lerman



  Any technical problem can be overcome with enough time and 
money. 



  Consequence Lerman



    You will always be missed or
time or money.


Lemma on the prevention of innovations Rocky



  Funders abandon
your proposal, if it results
will not be known in advance.


The second postulate of thumb



  Simple and acceptable false helpful
complex and obscure the truth.


First Jones Act



  The scientist who made a significant contribution to
any area of ​​research and continue to work in it long enough
here becomes a stumbling block
progress - in direct proportion to the significance of their 
initial deposit. 


Mann Act



  If a scientist discovered a fact fit
for print, the latter becomes
central element of his theory.



  Consequence



    This theory, in turn, becomes central to all scientific
direction.


Rule line



  Straight lines do not exist.


Error law Grelba



  For any sequence of computation errors will be detected at 
the other end, which is opposed to the beginning of testing. 


Axiom Roberts



  There are just wrong.



  Berman consequence of the axioms Roberts



   That for one mistake to another -
original data.


The Fifth Law of insecurity



  To err is human nature, but
finally all the confusion can only
computer.


The third law Grid



  Computer program does what
you ordered it to do, not something that would
you wanted her to do.


The first computer axiom Leo Beizer



  Laying something in the computer, remember where
you put it.


Guidance on system programming
            Niya Shteynbaha



  Do not reveal errors in the program unless you know what 
happened to them on do.




Art of managing the affairs of state and

            EKONOMERFOLOGIYA


Law Lieberman



  Lie to everything, but it does not matter
because nobody listens.


Sausage principle



  Those who love sausage and respect the law, do not see how it 
is done and another.



The first two political principles Todd



  1. No matter what you say - you do not speak the whole truth.

  2. No matter what they say - it is always about making money.


Watergate principle



  Corruption in government has always said in the past tense.


The principle of Alinsky radicals



  The most moral are usually those
who are furthest from solving problems.


Miles Law



  The angle of view depends on the occupied
place.


Evans Law



  If you keep my head on his shoulders,
when all around are losing their means, you
just do not understand the situation.


Rule Distortions



  Moving up the chain of command upwards
information is distorted.


The Act delegated Rusk



  If the delegation of authority to give
attention, the responsibility will accumulate at the bottom, 
like the draft. 


Observation Hongrena



  Among economists, the real world is often considered a 
special case. 


Laws Price



  1. While everyone will not want to, no one
receive.

  2. Man of the masses must serve
mass means.

  3. Catching everything.


Act O'Brien



  Reasonably do nothing.


Success Formula Glayma



  The secret of success - in sincerity. As
Only you will be able to portray it, consider what's in the bag.



        ART TO BE AN EXPERT


Rule Mars



  Judge - not anyone from our
city.


Weber's definition



  Expert - a man who knows everything
more and more about less and less
until you know everything is absolutely nothing.


Warren Rule



  As the experts have to take someone who believes that the 
work will take a lot of time and cost is very expensive. 


Schroeder Law



  Indecision - the basis of flexibility.


Rule Berke



  Never place a task that you do not know.



  Consequence



    Put the problem on which the decision
There is only you.


Aphorism Matza



  Conclusion - a place in the text where you're tired of 
thinking. 


Typically the last forecast Fagin



  Hindsight - that's fine
Science.


The first rule of history



  History does not repeat itself - historians are
repeat each other.


The laws of physics Dunlap



  1. Fact - it solidified opinion.

  2. Under high temperatures
pressure and the facts are softened.

  3. The truth is elastic.


Maxim Merkin



  If in doubt in the forecast, saying that this trend will have
place in the next period.


Decision Halgrena



  If you were trapped, fog.


Hawkins' Theory of Progress



  Progress does not consist in replacing the incorrect theory 
on the right, and the replacement incorrect theory on the wrong 
way, but refined.



Meyer's Law



  Complicate - simply, simplify - is complicated.


Law Hleyda



  The solution of complex tasks are assigned to a lazy worker - 
he will find an easier way.



Hunt Law



  In every great idea has a disadvantage,
equal to or exceeding the greatness of this
ideas.


Shaver Hellona



  Do not consider malicious intent is
which is understandable stupidity.



      C & S T E M A H T I K A


The main theorem



  New system of the fetus to new problems.



  Consequence



    Do not unnecessarily multiply the
new systems.


The generalized uncertainty principle



  Systems tend to grow and grow vzaimorastvoryatsya.



  Other formulations



    1. Complex systems lead to unexpected consequences.

    2. The combined behavior of large systems can not be 
predicted. 


A theorem on the behavior of nonadditive systems



    Most system formed increasing size smaller, it behaves 
quite differently from her predecessor. 


Unreliability of performance information

         duties



  People within systems behave quite
not as prescribed.


Unreliability of information about the executed
work



  The system itself does not behave like
prescribed.


15-th law Systemantics



  The current complex system has consistently
formed from the current simple system.


16-th law Systemantics



  A complex system designed in a hurry, never works, and fix
it to make it work, is impossible.


Basic postulates of the theory developed systems



  1. All - system.

  2. All - part of an even larger system.

  3. The universe is infinite systematization as a bottom-up 
(all larger system) and down (lower

system).

  4. All systems are infinitely complex. (The illusion of 
simplicity is due to focus on one or more variables.)



Principle Shatelera



  Sozhnye systems tend protovopostavlyat themselves to their 
same functions. 



   MEDICAL M E R O O L O G AND I


Six Principles for Patients



  1. If the doctor knows what is called
your discomfort, it does not mean that
He knows what it is.

  2. The more boring and old magazines in the waiting room, the 
longer you have to wait. 

  3. On the bubbles from the medications should
would not write "Keep away from children" and "Keep away from 
adults." 

  4. On the last day of medication
pills or not at all, or remains
too much.

  5. Medicine that must be taken
simultaneously with food, will be most unpleasant to the taste.



     Consequence



       Even water to drink unpleasant, if it
prescribed by a doctor.


  6. If your health improves,
perhaps it is because the doctor
it is getting worse.


Rule Matza on medicines



  Drug - a substance which, when introduced into a rat, gives 
scientific result or an article. 


Aphorism Kohreyna



  Get a referral to the analysis, consider what you do if the 
result is: a) positive, b) negative. If the answers match, the 
need for analysis disappear. 



  Comment Lord Cohen



    Available actions - is not an indication that it should be 
done. 


Laws care Telesco



  1. All televisions are on another
the end of the chamber.

  2. Talent is inversely proportional to the doctor
opportunity to get to see him.

  3. There are two types of plaster: one
which can not be glued, and one that can not be removed.

  4. All require an injection at the same time.

  5. Who did not give to put him at the appointed time, require 
the injection, when hand out sleeping pills.



Rule Baraja



  Alcoholic - someone who drinks more
your doctor.



 SCIENCE consumes IKUSSTVO SELL


Law Hebloka



  If the product is good, it ceases to produce.


Act Gold



  If the shoe on the foot, it looks disgusting.


Laws buying clothes Hedley



  1. If you liked the costume, you do not have your size.

  2. If you liked the costume, and you want
size is, then he is still on you
somehow does not fit.

  3. And like, and suitable, but not
pocket.

  4. And like, and suitable, and affordable, but at the first 
fitting is bursting at the seams.



The basic principle of the transaction Finmena



  What you like, always there to
sale.


Rules Heshayza



  1. Goods labeled "New" or "improved model" is not.

  2. Both of these labels mean that the price
jumped.

  3. Labeled "A totally new product"
or "Amazing new" means that
price creeping up.


The first law of consumption syn



  60-day guarantee means that
goods will fall apart at the 61st day.


Act "of goods by mail" Savignano



  If you do not you please, then never
get what zakazyvali.Esli still you please, you receive the 
order before your angry letter comes on address.



The Law of Lewis



  Always want to buy what was left in
one copy.



M E R O O L O G AND I OF HOUSEHOLD


Law cuisine O'Reilly



  Cleanliness - is something of a discharge is impossible.


The Seven Laws of kitchen clutter



  1. None device universal food processor will not work 
properly. 



     Consequence



       The more expensive the processor, the less they
enjoy.


  2. The simpler the instruction (eg,
"Click here"), the harder it is to find where
all the same press.

  3. To the family recipe, just discovered in an old cookbook
unit of the main component
is written unclearly.

  4. If the dish is really messed up, all that
Whatever you added to his rescue
only worsen the matter.

  5. In the excitement always comes from
dishes, which require the least
efforts to prepare. Example: If you
cooked duck with apples, you will receive compliments for the 
roasted potatoes. 

  6. If you had to specifically go to
shop for some products, namely
it will show your guests are allergic.

  7. The more time and effort you put into preparing lunch, the 
more the probability that the guests all the time will be

discuss other prior to this
lunches.


Laws cuisine Alice Hammond



  1. Souffle rises and whipped cream just for cooking family
lunch or dinner for guests, which you
in fact, and did not want to invite.

  2. If some of the eggs will be the only spoiled, it is 
precisely its something you have smash into the batter for a 
cake. 

  3. You put in the dishwasher some cookware, as it
immediately needed, or if you used
dimensional mug for liquids, it immediately
also need to measure
something dry.

  4. Time on food consumption is inversely
proportional to the time of its preparation.

  5. Whatever dish you're not prepared,
find that your guest ate his
breakfast.


Laws Housewives



  1. If in doubt, they drew a
meat from the freezer to make it defrosted, it means you forgot 
to do it. 

  2. If you do not remember off or
coffee, then you do not shut down.

  3. If you decide to go on the road for
bread and eggs, thinking that they are not at home,
they will be home.

  4. If you doubt there will be enough money for dinner with 
his family in a restaurant, so they will not suffice. 


Usually washed glassware Hamilton



  Spot you are trying to
otskresti, always on the other side.



  Consequence



    If the stain is in, till it is impossible to reach.


Law Yedzhera



  Washing machines break down only in
during washing.



  Consequence



    All breakdowns occur on the day
when the vehicle off.


Law housekeeping Walker



  Dirty linen is always more than pure.


 Refutation of the Law Walker, put forward
           Toe Cleve



    If it's clean, it is - no linen.


Law Skoffa



  The dirty floor baby will be nothing
pour or sprinkle.


Van Roy's Law



  Unbreakable toy is useful for
to break it more.


Laws of behavior of offspring, the proposed

                Uittslingom



  1. Child, chatting at home without peredyhu, away 
categorically refuses utter a word.


  2. Any shy child chooses
crowded place to loudly demonstrate newly acquired vocabulary 
("hell", etc.). 


The laws of animal behavior, the proposed
Fishem



  1. The probability that the cat eats
proposed meal, has no connection with the price of the latter.

  2. The probability that the family pet
(Cat or dog) will raise the noise of rushing, running out of 
the room, directly proportional to the number and importance of 
guests Invited to dinner.



Consequence of Parkinson's Law for teens offered by Fiske



  The stomach is stretched to take
futility in terms of adult food (soft drinks, Pepsi-Cola, candy
etc.).


Banana principle



  If you buy unripe bananas, then to
time of maturation, these will not remain.
If you bought them ripe bananas spoil before they have time to 
eat. 


The law of relativity Bellensa



  Minutes duration depends on
of which side of the door to the bathroom
room you are.


Usually green thumb, exported cultural
             dennoe Britto



  Life expectancy houseplant is inversely proportional
its price is directly proportional to its
unattractive sight.


Law retransmissions



  If you've watched on TV some of the series and suddenly see
it again, then get to repeat the same
episode.


Laws television programs Jones



  1. Two interesting programs are always
at the same time.

  2. The only interesting program
will be canceled.

  3. Transfer, you've been waiting all week, will be shown 
before the mean Camping in the program.



Universal principles Bess



  1. Phone rings when you are in front of the apartment and 
unsuccessfully trying to open it. 

  2. Handset you grab just as
when it will sound the last posts.


Kovak mystery



  If the wrong dial, will never beeps "busy".


Appendix Parkinson's Law, derived

                Ryan



  Shopping seeking to fill all available storage space.



             SOTSIOMERFOLOGIYA

         ART TO BE HUMAN


Shirley Law



  Most people deserve each other.


Laws of love proposed by Arthur



  1. People to whom you are attracted invariably think you 
named someone recalls. 

  2. If you have finally ventured
Send a love letter, it is so
long it will go in the mail that you are for it
time will have time to expose yourself to ridicule.

  3. Romantic gestures seem to others
unusual and exciting. And your
own - as stupid and clumsy.


Act wedding costs Thom



  Duration of marriage is inversely proportional to the costs 
of the wedding. 


Rule the neighborhood around the room



  Anyone who snores, falls asleep first.


Logical proposals Kolvarda



  All probabilities are 50%. Either happen or not.



  Unconscious comment



    This is especially true when dealing with a woman.



  Comment Grelba to the provisions of
Kolvarda



    The reliability of this result to
90% are not in your favor.


The principle of overlapping acquaintances



  The probability of finding buddies grows, if you go with the 
person, familiarity with which you do not want to advertise.



Complaint Cheytsa



  If you helped a friend in trouble, he probably will remember 
you, when once again be in distress. 


Law Denniston



  Virtue - is itself the punishment.



  Consequence



    Once you have done something right, then someone will ask 
you to do it again. 



    Comment Bloch



      Sledstvme absolutely consistent
following statement: virtue is not
remains unchecked. Law Denniston
has a wider range of applications.


Watching Ron for teens



  1. Pimples on the face appear somewhere in
hour before the meeting.

  2. Scratches on the plate always goes through the most 
favorite song. 


The underlying principle of socio-genetics



  Superiority complex is transferred to
inheritance.


Professor Blok's slogan



  Forgive and remember.


The first postulate Pardo (of "Murphy's Law
I ")



  All that is good in life, either
illegal or immoral, or leads to
obesity.


Jacob's Law



  To err is human nature, but
blame mistakes on others - more typical.


Council Edelstein



  Do not worry about what other people on
you think. They are too concerned
what do you think about them.


Law Meader



  What would you no matter what, all this
has happened to someone you know has just been worse.


Law Bokledzha



  He who laughs last, probably
did not understand the joke.



         M E T A - Z A K O H Li


Law Didzhiovanni



  Number of laws seeking to fill all
available for publication space.


Blessing Leo Rogers in the second
book, "Murphy's Law"



  If life is worth trying, do not
sin and overdo it.


Observation of Rogers on the laws



  The higher authority, the less there are appreciated Murphy's 
Law, Peter Principle, etc. 


Saying Jaffa



  There are things that we can not know
but it is impossible to know what kind of things.


Law Muir



  When we try to pull something
one, it turns out that it is associated with
all the rest.


Axiom Ducharme



  If we consider the issue sufficiently
carefully, you will see themselves as
Part of the problem.


Last Act



  If both could occur a few troubles, but it did not ultimately 
be better if they still occur.