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Deja Vu #03
31 декабря 1997 |
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Seven and 1 / 2 - Bribes! (Interview with the doctor).
Some edition: Ze Pagan / BD
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Money does not smell!
But they are not sniffing ...
BRIBE!
Q: - Hello! The main thing is
health ...
Doctor: - And who are you, girl, said such nonsense? The main
thing is money!
Q: - How is the money? After all, health
they can not buy!
Doctor: - And it was on this day with us
Away Sergey Sivoho that will give you some advice. Just do not
doctor, and Casandra some.
Host: - On the subject ...
Doctor: - How to buy health.
Chair: - Yes ... I understand the conversation
will focus on any signs of attention doctors
about the gifts ...
Doctor: - What kind of gifts, girl? Y
Doctors birthday too once a year, as
and TV presenters, incidentally. We will talk about
bribes.
Q: - the bribe?
Doctor: - So, girl! Let's call
spade a spade! Let's call
bribe - a bribe, and diarrhea - diarrhea! A
Imagine a way - suitable patient and
says: "I have a bo-bo this thing! And I
like an idiot for two hours looking for this very thing,
which bo-bo!
Host: - Really, it's silly. But
we have medicine for free!
Doctor: - Yes, medicine is known for such pathology. We still
and education is free, but look at these gramoteev! All as one,
the word "huh" after the letter "o" they write! We transport
and free! Only in the final as the knock controller, so
better pay!
Q: - Sorry, the analogy with the controller is not quite
catch the ...
Doctor: - And all easy! Comes to passenger
that is sick, a doctor, and treated all
life from a cold. And here - the controller with a scythe, that
is, a heart attack! Knock - knock! Everything! The ultimate!
Get out!
Q: - I understand. Well, what would you advise doctors to
give as a bribe?
Doctor: - Medicine has no general recipe
in this regard. Yes you do think - stupid
give a complex operation, a bottle of cognac
with chocolate, and a cleverly posed
enema - dacha.
Host: - Really. But what if
be?
Doctor: - Very easy! Doctor after examining the patient, the
diagnosis that there still sore over - just a cough, or
scrofula. Then let them and the patient to the doctor looks
closely! If the doctor bags under his eyes - brandy for him if
his mouth smeared with chocolate - Sweets to him. Well, if
absolutely no imagination - you can just give money!
Q: - And what if the doctor, for example, thought that they
had a washing machine will be presented, and they gave him,
say, tickets for concert of "Na-Na?
Doctor: - Medical kvalifitsirut such cases as medical error.
In such cases, one error always leads to another
error. The doctor will be nervous and could easily confuse a
sleeping pill with a laxative. Here we have one patient in the
hospital The doctor gave the shaver. Later
checked himself, called her home and said:
"Oh, sorry, this shaver for your husband!"
Q: - And it?
Doctor: - And she answers: "Then the spiral is not for you
and your wife" (laughs). So deftly discarded!
Q: - How interesting! But how would
You are advised, Sergey, when
best bribe to give - either before or after
treatment? And that in fact, many hesitate to ...
Doctor: - embarrassed! Wow! A
the doctor does not hesitate in the wrong, I apologize,
pants look a hundred times a day?
Shy found! Of course, a bribe must be
give up the treatment! The doctor does not know -
Then give him or not, and will be treated free of charge. And
then look - already give something no one!
Q: - But tell me, Sergey, how best to pay with
nurses out there ...
Doctor: - And what are you, girl, such
indiscreet questions to ask? So who better
but you know how to pay with
nurses! But, unfortunately, patients that can not!
Q: - Why?
Doctor: - But they are also sick!
Host: - Really. Thank you
Thank you, Sergey, for your advice, as we say goodbye to you
until the next times. And remember:
Doctor: - Doctors do not eat flowers!
Chair: - Good-bye!
From VLDpress # 19 (193) 1997year.
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