ZX Time #08 30 апреля 2002

Юмор

and laughter, and a sin - Letter to the Military History forum.

And laughter, and sin


                   provided AlexGorMC


   Letter to the Military-Historical Forum


             Hello!


     But after the war they were all afraid to
Our tanks did not reach Paris. That should have been reached, 
simply in order to all to prove it. And then one could

back, both from Austria. But the thing is
another. That would come down, so what's next?
After all, our main potential adversary in
the time was in the U.S., and we had to destroy his name. I had 
often thought, and I had this idea:



     Implement tank raid on the U.S.
the shortest route - through the Arctic, on the ice.


           Here are my calculations:


     1.Tolschina ice at the North Pole
5-6 meters, it will withstand the tanks.

     2.Composition attacking force - about 400,500 tanks, 
well-trained. 

     3.Snabzhatsya of submarines
To do this, periodically surfacing.

     4.Nastupat in the polar night - to
have not noticed from the air, or painted in
white.

     5.Ne use compasses and radio - it does not work in the 
Arctic because of the Auroras and orientorovatsya on

other landmarks (the Sun or the stars).

     6.Tankam and crews as easy as possible to the road, take 
only required (experience is).


     7.Krutye hummocks and polynyas circumvent
ride only on smooth and even a hummock.

     8.Ispolzovat to eat venison and Tyulenin. A similar 
expedition by W. Scott it's ruined: they used poney,

dogs and pemmican (but do not know what
it), so the damaged leg, and one went mad on the way back 
without vitamins. 

     9.B soon as possible to the mainland and there use local 
traitors-conductors. 

     10.Perehod will take 20-30 days march. The main thing - do 
not stop to not die out in the cold.



       The advantages of such a raid:


     1.Vnezapnost and secrecy - no one
and it never comes, why do we accumulate the tanks on the far 
north (eg, ostensibly for recycling).


     2.Polnoe lack of resistance
even in case of loss of surprise: Painted in white tank with a 
height of almost not noticeable; heavy battleships through the 
U.S. ice does not fit as well with others, including 
submarines, tanks cope 152-mm caliber.



          The political aspect:


     1.Na occupied northern territories
U.S. could generate opposition government (after the War in 
America there were many malcontents, especially blacks

and Indians, plus Alaska, the other
many of our);

     2.Meksika would have supported the example of Finland 
(return of the occupied U.S. territories);


     3.Voynu on two fronts - against our tanks (in Alaska) and 
Mexico's America would not endure.



     History has known many examples of bold, almost 
unbelievable decision, the bright - Raid Hannibal. Although, I 
must admit, it was easier - it is prudent

took with them as a food of elephants.


     I'm back in 1980 (before the Olympics) sent a detailed 
article in the "Young techniques, but they are not published, 
perhaps, this theme kept secret. 


         Sincerely, Nikolai Borisovich.


                 - - -


     Propose to use against Chechen terrorists smart weapons:


     1.Psihotronnoe weapons - yet it is obvious that certain 
frequencies caused a sense of horror, and a similar study

seriously under way in many armies. Maybe beat the Chechens on 
the perimeter of such balls to cause terror? It is known that 
low frequency even concrete destroy.


     2.Zhrut same Chechens something at the end
all? Why can not distribute
some bacteria to their food quickly
port, while they starve all the rest.

     3.Mozhno same napustit vsevozmozhunyu
locusts that ate their crops if they
something sown. Or take a breed moths that ate their hats. They
not walk in what will be, but winter is coming.

     4.In the time was the so-called
tin plague - when buttons crumble into dust. It would be nice if
Chechens all the buttons fall off. I think
it is possible to arrange.

     5.Nedavno wanted to launch a satellite
of film to illuminate the city. Why
would not hang a satellite coverage over Chechnya, they will 
not sleep and without sleep, even Chechens not last long - it's 
proven. 

     6.Nado scored all their radio airplay
rubbish such as Tender May or chegonibud slotting, rave and so 
on. As in 1993, and at the siege of the White House. This is 
also bad effect on the psyche.


     7.Mozhno without noise, I heard that
States had over the genes that something Khimich,
type to hurt only negros. Can and
is invented.

     8.Nuzhno specifically to "sell" Chechens unusable weapons 
to it exploded in their faces, or machine

which, for example, devouring 100 km. not 10
liters, and all 20. Or in the pipeline, from
they steal, let gasoline
What a nasty impurities.

     9.Ili here they use electricity - so from time to time 
make such spikes, so they all burned to hell.


     10.Seychas is sverhskolzkie substances they handle bridges 
and mountain passes to the Chechens could not pass, and 
slipped. And our soldiers shod in special boots. Then the 
Chechens will not be able to move. 

     11.Nu and the last: more missiles
not destroy the contract, together with the Americans, and put 
lying against the earth's motion. And at the right time at the 
same time to activate. At the same time prevent all but the 
Chechens. Land on the fraction of a second stop and the 
Chechens will carry the force of inertia, or simply toss in the 
air nonweak. I proschityval this situation, anyone interested, 
I can throw the calculations on the soap. 


                 - - -


              Ob'yasnyalki:

Virginity - the female disadvantage removed by manhood.

The most expensive, oddly enough, women are free ...

If a woman gets angry, then she does not
only wrong, but understands it.

If the legs on his shoulders, his head on them is not necessary.

There are a thousand ways to make a woman
to speak, but no one to make
her silence.

A woman can do anything, man - all the rest.

A woman seldom jealousy and never forgives
does not forgive her absence.

Woman is not born - it becomes.

.. And she trustingly put his feet on the
shoulders ...

And this man I gave the best three days
my life ...

Women's age-old question: what would a eat to lose weight?

- As of 10 blondes to choose the most stupid? - By drawing lots.

A woman believes that two plus two will
is five, if properly and weep
scandal ...

This woman should cut down a tree,
destroy the house and raise a daughter.

Women have two major problems: nothing
dress and a small closet.

The Apotheosis of emancipation: the woman-fag.

I know the measure: fall - will suffice.

When you drink, you need to know when to stop. Otherwise you 
risk to drink less. 

The one who searches always finds. And the drink ...

About the best moments of life always know
from the stories of eyewitnesses.

Beer - the best proof that the
God exists, loves us and wants us to
we lived happily ever after.

After a non-alcoholic beer feel
themselves so cheated ...

Moonshine - the guerrilla movement
alcoholics.

When you drink, you need to know when to stop. Otherwise you 
risk to drink less ... 


                 *