Toys - Adventures: The Boggit. He's a swamper. Dedicated to the memory of the deceased printed version of the ZX-Review...

NOT BOGGIT - AKA SWAMPMAN  
   (with excerpts from GZ-Revu)   
                               
music by IRONMAN               
(C)Alex ASP 1997               
________________________________
                               
         In memory of the deceased printing press
  Dedicated to the ZX-Review version...
                               
  Bit was a long time ago when some of us
there was no trace yet, and others some
They have not yet gone extinct like the dinosaurs. In short,
One spring day Bimbo was sitting in his
at home and thought about the meaning of life,
touching the round green door of his toilet
summer. This round green door can be
It was then possible to find in the house of every respected
a self-deprecating swamper, if rumors don’t
they lie.  And everything would be fine, but here in co-
Old Grandalf flew into the room (however,
again, according to rumors, he outlived many).
Flew in through the window.                       
 - We'll have to insert a new window, - think-
small Bimbo. - Againsame expenses, he looked
threw a mountain of empty ale bottles and
winced.                              
   Grandalf stood up (you understand how
convenient to enter through the window), dusted himself off,
rummaged in his pockets and pulled out a box
sweets and some note, put them on
table and, without saying a word, left the room
again through the window. Bimbo, of course
knew Grandalf - he from time to time
visited the swamp workers to arrange for them
another petty dirty trick, but this is the first time
I decided to get to know Bimbo better.     
 - Well, let's see what we have here, -
thought Bimbo, getting up from his chair.           
 The sweets seemed to be quite good - for a box -
it was written: “No preservatives. Eco-
logically pure product. Ingredients: milk-
chocolate, milk filler (20%
min), vegetable fats". However,
Bimbo decided not to take risks, but to start with reading
Notes:                             
                               
 "I want you to accompany the, uh, group-
poo friends in one adventure (read -
adventure). See you soon.             
                                 -GS-  
                               
P.S. In the next 10 minutes, sweets will
are being liquidated."                          
                               
 Bimbo immediately grabbed the box and threw it
ee through the window (luckily it was broken) and with
sighed with relief when he heard her
plopped down somewhere in the garden.                
 “It’s not funny,” Bimbo was offended by the fact that
he didn't get any candy, but he decided
go to the ambulance, although I couldn’t remember
not a single Bolotnikov tavern with such
name. He pushed the door, but it didn’t open.
and Bimbo remembered that several
days ago I bought a new door from someone
to replace the old one, which had to be knocked out,
because he lost the key somewhere. New
the door was stupid - that's what they called it
swampers coded locks. Code, naturally
but Bimbo didn’t remember, but he remembered that he
was in the notebook, and so...
wow, I absolutely didn’t remember where it was.
I had to look for this book. Bimbo just right
was clearing out the rubble in one of the corners when
the garden exploded and was thrown back by the explosive
wave to the chest. As you remember, glass
the window was already broken, so there was nothing
was about to fly out. Rubbing my bruised head,
and the head of the swampers is weak
place, Bimbo remembered that the last time
he put the book in the chest, and otku-
removed the lid. There was nothing really inside
apparently, partly due to cobwebs and dust,
So the swamper heroically climbed inside.
It was even dustier and naytuhhee inside,than
one would expect from the outside, but that's all
on one of the walls one could see
to create a rune-carved Melbourne How(o?)sa
inscription: "Put the treasure here."      
 - Yeah, it seems like there is something, - Bimbo
blew the dust off this something, as a result
why I sneezed a couple of dozen times and fell out
out.                                  
 It was really an old note
a book where you could find birth dates
some notable ones for Bimbo
persons  One of them was the code. When
the swamper dialed the required date, at the door you
wings grew, she waved them and opened
las.                                    
 - Yes! - thought Bimbo, went out into the street and
tried to close the door, but it stubbornly refused
wanted this. - ! - he stuck his tongue out at the door
and walked away, looking at the towering
There are gloomy mountains in the distance, and then...            
 - Surprise!  - they yelled out of nowhere
the gnomes who took over. They were small in size
yes, but the smell from them was inversely proportional
corresponds to their size. And Bimbo never did
could remember why he suddenly turned off-
Xia: either from the smell, or from the fact that
the dwarves jumped on him, knocked him down and began
give a friendly pat on the head, which
was already hurt when the glass didn't
flew out because it was broken, but
clap not with your hands, but with your canes.
The last thing he remembered waswhat
Grandalf was in a good mood, seeing
Well, the idea of arranging such a “surprise” is
owed him.                             
 The first thing he noticed when he arrived was
himself, was again Grandalf, who
said something animatedly to the gnomes. Bimbo
listened.                             
 - ...our lucky candidate Bimbo Tu-
jeans will appear before us.              
And Bimbo appeared, in which he was very violent
The gnomes helped with canes. Grandalf smile
turned into a multi-currency smile and turned
leaned towards the swamp:                       
 - Bimbo Tuzhins! We have the fourteenth
part of the gnome Terni's treasure, - one of
The dwarves bowed. - Now tell us, 
what is it worth, this part? -Grandolph for-
frozen in anticipation.                         
 “Nothing,” muttered Bimbo.              
 - Certainly! The answer is correct! Nothing! -ucte-
Grandalf screamed wildly. - And together with
with this fourteenth part of the treasure you
you also win the most exciting nyte-
procession!  You will visit Wilberland, you will see
picturesque places, dragons and many
other attractions!           
 After such an emotional performance
the old sorcerer felt that he needed
then you need to lie down somewhere in silence
and rest, and therefore everyone headed to
Bimbo's house. Having placed the sorcerer on the bed,
the dwarves sat down and began to drink in typical dwarf fashion
song: We are gnomes, we are gnomes, in our time we will die.
 Dragon for breakfast, look, we'll get it.   
 Let's take the oak-headed Bimbo now.       
 And let old Dawg eat it for us
                               
 Chorus:                               
 Row gold! Avoid your enemies!            
 Share Bimbo for everyone!                
                               
Through the Whiff Mountains, through the gloomy Birkwood
 "Snack" will pave the way to wealth. 
 And there we will celebrate the death of the dragon        
Among the gold, pouring gallons of ale inside. 
                               
Chorus:                                 
 Row gold! Avoid your enemies!            
 Share Bimbo for everyone! Here Grandalf felt better, and he
began to talk about disgusting
goblin habits. Meanwhile, Terni
carefully inspected the sorcerer's pockets.
 - What is this? - he exclaimed, looking -
Vaya the pulled out key and card. - Looks
like a key and a card.                        
 “Eh, yes,” the shaking man began to make excuses.
Grandalf.  - This belonged to your father-
tsu.  I found him in a mental institution
sick of one necromancer friend. Yours
my father mistook me for you and handed me over
It's all for storage.                     
 - What were you doing in the necromantic bash-
not Evil? - asked the intrigued
gnome                                    
 - I would tell you, but now I’m completely
There's really no time for that. Alas, your father,
Withered, that's what his name is, completely
bad I couldn't help him. He's still hard 
dit that he must eliminate Sir Clive
Sinclair, for he is the devil.              
 -Nevertheless, you used your pre-
bumbass to get my date's card
tsa. Thus, I am required to state
nourish you,” Ter added in tone.
neither.                                      
 This was followed by a disgusting sweat
scoop, as a result of which both felled
fell unconscious on the floor.
The remaining gnomes became interested in the map
andbegan to look at her with smart faces,
spreading it on the floor. Soon it started
another fight over what cost
consider the rona to be the top.  Within a minute
Bimbo was the only one left who still found
was in full consciousness, but soon this
has been corrected due to overuse
brewed with bolotnik rhombero ale.        
 Bimbo woke up in the toilet with all the prizes
nakami of what he had too much yesterday. Sob-
struggling with strength, he stood up and went out into the room.
natu. The dwarves and the sorcerer looked very lively
bonucho.  After having a snack, the people went to
path, and Terni was born as a dwarf
marching song:                         
                               
 Gold is a yellow metal, and more        
 I'm happier with it than with copper                    
 The dragon is guarding the treasure, but           
He will get a kick under...                
                               
 What place will the dragon hurt?
remained unclear since Bimbo saw
huge red (bloody?) paw prints.  
 - I wouldn’t like to meet the owner of these
traces, - thought Bimbo and then stopped short,
realizing that he never wanted anything
- in a clearing strewn with last year's leaves -
three logs lay howling, andwear them proudly
sat three... no, not bears, and certainly
especially not a pig, but real ones
toothy trolls: two large ones (Bernard and
Matthew) and one small one (Andre). Andre
fell asleep, but the older brothers didn’t
followed his example.                 
 - And what did we have here? - interested-
Bernard poked his head in.                         
 - What is this ECTb we have here! - corrected him
Matthew.                                  
 - So it’s a swamp! Sprinkled with crunchy-
common crackers and at a price of only 1.25
For the pound it's absolutely Brilliant! - and Ber-
backgammon demonstrated in a very repulsive manner
shaft his teeth - that's what he called
smile.                                 
 - Yeah! When was the last time you cooked?
the meat has all gone somewhere, - warn-
Matthew growled revoltingly.                  
 - Well, who cares? - rasped
Bernard's teeth. - You better tell me how we are
Let's cook it.                          
 - Even though it will be a little
That's a bit rude, I'll give in to the temptation to taste
its raw!                               
 The trolls looked at Andre, who agreed
stumbling, snored in his sleep, and they moved
were heading towards Bimbo, whose thoughts
horns were running around in my head as if scared
flies:                                    
 - They must be afraid of something. Someone go-
voril... They are afraid... afraid... that the light
tit... this...this... - Luxury! Luxury! - for-
the swampman screamed, intending to shout,
Of course, “Sun!”, and not a unit of measurement
the first thing that came to mind. However
less as if by magic poured out from somewhere
streams of light.                            
 - Oh, @#$%!  - the only thing I managed
tell Bernard before you get together
brothers turn into a pile of putty.   
   At the same moment the glow disappeared.        
 - And now I’ll have fun with you, - evil
said Bimbo, making Bernard's nose
trunk, then rolled Matthew into a sausage, and,
finally pulled Andre up to three feet. By-
After this, the bolotnik wanted nepeky-
but the boiler that stood right there was
almost empty - just lying around inside
the sword of the previous and not so successful state
stya, decorated with the inscription "HE-MAN". Memory-
thuya the third rule of seekers on their own
catching adventures (the first one, if you don’t remember)
that says: "Save, save and again
save!", and the second - "Always draw a car-
tu"), Bimbo picked up one that was lying right there
key, for the third rule is: "Take
whatever you can carry." The key turned out to be
possible to use nearby - they
the door opened to the cave where he lived
go trolls.  The cave was furnished in
style "Blood on the Stones", hung on the walls
three portraits. On one - Bernard - very
attractive in a bright green suit,
borrowedat another victim, on
friend - Matthew, leaning on a pile of co-
stay, well, on the third - a bald top,
apparently belonging to Andre. Here's the
almost everything, except for a coil of rope,
skillfully disguised, but quite detectable
Dimogo.                                  
 Having crossed the Brunet River, the travelers
liked the Pubehtyna mines, and in the area
Secret Valley stumbled upon a hut that
stood out with its yellow speckled pink
color against the background of large green trees.
There was a mailbox in front of the entrance,
filled with all kinds of correspondence
tion, which is in a state of recycling and
extolling dubious virtues
Infokomovsky (not to be confused with Inforkomovsky
kim!, although...) software. On the envelope you can
it was possible to make out the address: “Mudland, Pubeh-
tup, valley 1, Nykhrondu."                
 - So Nykhrond lives here. Be able to
Well, he will feed us, - in the belly of the swamp
began to purr, and the people pressed forward in a friendly crowd
inside.                                  
 Typical elf pop flowed from everywhere
music, interrupted every now and then by creepy sounds
saws of Australian metal orcs,
emerald leaves of a tall oak tree rustled
against the window, and the wind carried a very suspicious
body odors from the kitchen that was located
nearby.  Nychrond was not alone, he
used to talk to a tall, long-legged elf.
As soon as the walkers entered, he cut himself off
onmid-sentence and gently whispered to him:         
 - I think it's best for you to leave now.      
 - Well, what about tonight? -nouh-
the elf wondered.                        
 “I’ll call you,” Nykhrond smiled.   
   They winked at each other, and long-
the fucking elf came out. Nykhrond stood up:        
 - Greetings, For..., oh, sorry,
Bimbo.  I'm about fifty years ahead
glitched.                                 
 - Hello, Sniffy! - not remembering myself from
of joy, cried Grandalf, pushing away
Bimbo back and not letting him say anything
words.                                   
 - And the same to you, old first ... first in the world -
re a sorcerer!                               
 - Listen, I have one card here, no
will you look?  - asked Grandalf and extended
zeroed ee to the elf.                            
 Nychrond looked at it carefully, then
whispered something in the old man's ear, he swore
hit him on the back and immediately chewed up his car-
that one                                      
 “And now it’s time for you to leave me,” for-
methyl elf.                              
 - Well, I haven’t eaten yet! - Bimbo was offended,
looking at the chewing sorcerer.                
 - Here's a sandwich for you, - Nykhrond hetepne-
Livo put something in his hand and walked him
them to the exit.                             
 Going out into the street, Bimbo looked to see what
he got it. There is mold between two piecessome brown bread was placed
foul-smelling mass. For lack of anything
more edible, the mire swamp swallowed and
this muck, after which everything with new si-
the lami moved towards the mountains, picking up
all sorts of things that are scattered here,
then there. Walking along the cemucahtumetpobomy kar-
below and almost falling down, the travelers
We reached a cave named "Cave".
It was quite dark inside. Cold drops
did the waters fall from somewhere above directly onto
bolotnik's nose and collar, sometimes hit
giving and into the puddle in which they soaked his but-
gi.  Suddenly a gap opened in the wall and
they came out from there without any warning
twelve goblins of various sizes,
shapes and smells. They silently grabbed
travelers and dragged them inside.        
 Let's be honest, the goblin dungeon prison
nov - not the best place to relax, but
that's where our heroes ended up. Gender
camera was strewn with sand, somewhere deserted
a window loomed carefully above, a heavy door,
the one leading outside was locked and, judging by
everything was guarded. Having nothing better to do Bimbo
He picked up a handful of sand and threw it up.
At the same moment, an opening opened in one of the walls.
panel, and a cleaning robot flew out of there
the top of the dungeon. He sucked it all in
sand with his trunk and quickly disappeared into the open
We walk through a hole in the other wall. On the spot
sand revealed a secret wooden
door  It was closedand painted in
blue color.                              
 - Why is it blue? - asked
one of the gnomes.                        
 - Yes, because the emergency exit doors are
goblins are always red, - explained
Neil Grandalf.                           
   Without hesitation, Terni broke the door.
Hungry termites crawled out from somewhere and
one moment there were only bocnomu- left from the door
knowledge.  There was money lying around inside, hidden
tanned by goblins for a rainy day, and background-
rick.  When Bimbo looked at him, something
It clicked and the battery fell out. Swamp-
Nick tried to catch her and accidentally grew
nil lantern. However, he caught the battery,
The same cannot be said about a flashlight. At that very moment
another panel slid away, and from there came out
the robot cleaner of the lower part of the underground
Melya, who grabbed the lantern and with satisfaction
he darted back with a loud purr.             
 Nevertheless, it was necessary to somehow knock out
fight. After some discussion it was decided
It’s a good idea to climb through the window. Bimbo took out his
pebky and threw ee up until
it didn't catch on the window. Swamp pop
I threw myself on my hands, grabbed the rope and climbed
up.  The window was approaching, and then someone
touched him on the shoulder. He's a little scared
didn’t fall, but looked back. It turned out he
stood on the ground. In bewilderment he looked
to the window - it was also nearby.      
 - It turns out it's not mewent up and
did the window go down? - Bimbo was surprised.       
 “It turns out so,” answered Grandalf.
 When everyone had climbed over and Bimbo remained in
alone in the dungeon, he gathered his courage and jumped
zero.  Immediately behind him there was a window with
whistled back to its original position
life  Having picked up the rope, the swamper looked
gone. It was dark all around.                
 - What are our plans? - he inquired.  
 - For starters, it would be nice to get
a little light,” replied Grandalf.      
 - Perhaps you can do some magic? - asked
him Terni, but he winced and said nothing
replied.                                 
 “We’ll have to get out of it ourselves,” I realized.
Bimbo, and then the youngest of them spoke
gnomes:                                  
 - Dear Bimbo! I probably
it is necessary to remind you about the sword that you
found trolls in the cauldron.                   
 “Speak,” the swamper turned to him. 
 - The fact is that this sword is of dwarven work-
you. Just look at...          
 “Okay,” Grandalf interrupted him,
it was known that discussion of various
features and details of the gnomes could stretch
for a few days. - Let's move on.       
 The dwarf looked at him with a frown, but
continued:                               
 - So, this sword was forged by one of my
great-grandfathers on the side of the sister’s second husband
we are my father's second cousins several times
hundredsyears ago for very strange su-
society They called themselves Jedi. I remember
They told me a little about them, but
father swore one of them all the time
walked around with a black bucket on his head and loudly
puffed.                                  
 - Why did you tell us all this? - not 
endured Bimbo.                          
 - Yes, besides, this sword can shine -
Xia. In the handle it has a special me-
hundred for power supply. I think dad-
the rack will do just fine.                   
 Bimbo handed him a sword and a battery. Gnome
fiddled a little, and the sword began to emit
weak light.                             
 “It will do,” said Bimbo and took the sword from
gnome. - Now let's move on.           
 It's good when stepping east and then
to the west, you find yourself in the same    
the place where you took your first step. One-
But this does not always happen. Sometimes you have to
it takes a lot of getting lost to find the place
where you need to go.  Sometimes in these
wanderings reveal completely incomprehensible
child places such as, for example, that black
the lake where some kind of hero brought our heroes
path. A cloud was spreading over the surface of the water.
man, vague outlines were visible in the distance
small island. Because of a lonely stone
a skinny figure of some kind appeared
society.                                  
 - Nice little swamp boy, good!Guess our riddle, it’s not difficult
guess that this is Zoltboom. - Well, not
If you guess it, we'll eat you.         
 He paused, looked over his shoulder and
whispered:                              
 - How fast does the Nazgul fly?
in the air? Shh, no hints.          
 Bimbo thought feverishly. So that at least
somehow to stall for time, he asked:       
 - Which Nazgul? African or Euro
Peisky?                                 
 - Not fair! Have you seen this movie! - obi-
Zoltbum disappeared and, having sipped unsalted, went
away, asking myself the strange question that
was running through his head:                
 - Uhtepeccho, what’s in his pocket?
 And in Bimbo’s pocket lay an ordinary
lechko, however, is it ordinary?              
 Steps appeared ahead, from above
light was breaking through, but the exit was guarded.     
 “Let’s try to break through,” suggested one
of the dwarves, his proposal was approved.
 Bimbo went first, he carefully lifted
climbed up the steps, but being already
Almost free, he sneezed.          
 - Be healthy! - said both guards
and looked at each other at the same time.            
 - Didn't you sneeze? - one asked the other.  
 -  No. So... ALARM! - screamed
the second goblin, disgustedly wiping something
green from its neck.                    
The travelers rushed outside.                  
 - Put on the ring, Bimbo, -on the go
shouted Grandalf.                        
 - For what purpose? - he shouted.              
 - It will make you invisible... maybe...
maybe all of us.                          
 Bimbo put on the ring, and the chase seemed to be
lagged behind.  To finally bring down the goblins
new from the trail, everyone climbed to the high
tree and hid there. Some kind of warg
smelled them and began barking at the tree.          
 - Eh, the snack will be lost for nothing, -
sighed Grandalf, took out another
hidden pocket packaging "Pedigree Pala"
and, opening it, threw it into the roadside bushes.
Varg left them temporarily. Meanwhile
the head goblin thought:                
 “They couldn’t go far.” You need everything
here to inspect. Bring our baprobs, they
will find a trace.                             
The two immediately rushed towards the cave.       
 “Our affairs are bad,” Tierni whispered. - On-
Somehow to get out of here.             
 Bimbo tried to climb down, but couldn't.
could. Everyone looked at Grandalf again,
but he, like last time, remained silent.
Then the flapping of wings was heard, and on the wind
where the eagle descended:                    
 - I see you found my egg?           
 - What egg? - the swamper was surprised and pos-
looked in the same direction as the bird.     
 One of the dwarves was twirling a large
boiled egg, wondering which end of it
It will be more convenient to eat.- Where did you get this? - Bimbo snatched it from him
from the hands of the failed lunch and held it out
orface.                                  
 “It was lying around in the dungeon,” he began.
make excuses dwarf.                      
 - I assumed that these goblins
dragged him away! Thank you for finding and returning
him. Is there any way I can thank you?
 - Yes, as a matter of fact, you’re welcome.
Always welcome.  Come in (or fly in?)
yet.                                     
 At this time those sent for war returned
Gami goblins. The wargs immediately barked at
the tree where the exchange of courtesy took place
tami.                                    
 - They're here! - growled with satisfaction
chief.  - There are no axes at hand. Saws
no too. Yeah! - he squinted his eyes at the oculars -
rock that smoked in his mouth. - Now
we'll fry them!                          
 The flame slowly but steadily spreads
rang. It was getting hotter.           
 - Of course, I don’t know, maybe you
I'll like this steam room, but I'd rather be
“The children will fly away,” said the eagle. - Between
by the way, if you don’t nutaete love either
to the extreme baths, I can get you out of here
throw it somewhere.                  
 - Of course, if it doesn’t bother you! -on-
everyone shouted interruption, because the prospect
Frying alive suited few people.  
 - Sorry, it will be a little inconvenient, but
it won't last long.- the bird warned and
soared up.                            
 The flight over Mudland was accompanied by faint
experienced bouts of nausea, and Bimbo was able
breathe calmly only when
the bird has landed. Having got out, he looked around
gone.                                   
 - Sorry, but the closest place except
this nest, where you can calmly stand,
is out of reach of my sight  
yes,” he noted.                        
 “We’ll have to wait a little,” she answered.
an eagle face for him.  - I need to recharge-
curl, - and she flew away.                 
 Several minutes passed, riddled with su-
by the bitter cold wind before the bird
appeared again.                         
 - I’ll drop you off at Berkwood, - inform-
cried the eagle before leaving
your nest.                             
 This time the flight was even more fun. By-
waving goodbye to the bird, Grandalf replaced
til:                                     
 - I haven’t felt such sensations in a long time -
ny.  Everything was just great - how
a night spent with a manticore - and co-
the contents of his stomach left the quiet confidence
live in order to see the white light.           
 It was getting dark. Or in Burkwood it just seemed
darker.  I didn’t want to fight, and
things did not go beyond the usual swearing. A
the reason was quite prosaic - they decided to
yes go: toeast or south.           
 “Let’s use DOSP,” he suggested.
Grandalf chuckled.                 
 “Let’s do it,” everyone agreed, not really
understanding what we are talking about.                
 - DOSP is a Two-Way Determinant
Random Processes, otherwise - ordinary
coin,” with these words he pulled out
pocket the above-mentioned item.          
 - And on this very operator, or something
you named him there, your face is depicted,
- Terni continued in the same tone. - Ready to spo-
bet on anything that she is the one most often
everything appears on top.                
 - Then let someone else give me-
no,” the sorcerer snapped angrily.              
 - You throw her, and she will lie down again
up with the side you need, - again under-
he was dealt with by a gnome.                            
 - So should I hang myself? - flared up
sorcerer, and everyone smelled ozone. 
 “Why hang yourself right away,” - conciliatoryly
said Tierney, “you can just turn away.”
 “So be it,” the old man grumbled,
returned, and turning away, smiled. And
immediately hit on the head, after which the
poured onto the ground.                          
 “He will live,” said Terni, the scum—
throw a snag towards the side.                    
 - Why are you doing this? - asked Bimbo.    
 - Don’t you know sorcerers? Even if
Even if he turned away, he would still be able to
influence the coin, and so chance ha-pahtupobaha. Well, eagle - let's go south,    
tails - to the east.                       
 They tossed a coin. It came up heads. Therefore, let's go
whether to the east.                            
 - Hey, Grandalf, get up! We have to catch up
people need it! Get up, otherwise we won’t make it in time!     
 Grunting, Grandalf rose from the ground and,
rubbing his head, he asked:                   
 - Listen, Bimbo, what was that?          
He shrugged and answered:             
 - The sun. Normal heatstroke.        
 Whether it’s long or short, but we finally got there
good fellows, and even old men to black re-
ki. The oily water splashed against the shore,
there was a gray fog, through which there was barely
it was possible to distinguish the opposite be-
reg, well, the smell, you know, was...
coy.  In short, about swimming across this
river and there were no conversations. And most recently
the last argument that led to rejection
plan to cross by swimming, a boat appeared,
that swayed peacefully near the shore. Only
Bimbo climbed inside when there was a sound
cry:                                   
 - Hey, hey, man, lift your leg, well, run!
Bimbo obediently raised his leg, looking around
on the sides.                             
 - Not this one, idiot, the other one!             
Bimbo obediently picked up the other one.            
 - You have to watch where you step!         
And then Bimbo noticed muhboha, and also that
that he, Bimbo, raised both legs, whichled to him plopping down like a sack
to the bottom of the boat. Muhboh removed the second one in time
leg. At that time, gnomes crawled into the boat,
and she almost drank water.        
 -Are you the owner of this boat? - interested -
Xia Bimbo.                                
 - No, not me, but she’s not on board with me
will be able to move away from the shore, and it’s not me in that vi-
hobat. However, I have a business purpose
situation: you can buy plastic from me
a new card that allows you to buy for free
drink something.  I accept them as credit cards
and stashes stolen from goblins.     
 - Listen, maybe...                   
 - Unfortunately, we are not allowed to join
negotiations with the client.                   
 “Let’s get out of here,” pulled Bimbo by the hand.
Cav Terni.                               
 - Hey, wait! You can't do that! Everything is always
buy something from me! I'm suggesting
a fair deal - it couldn't be fairer!      
 - No, it happens, - he said edifyingly
Grandalf approached the bargainers. - Well
come on, don't squeeze Bimbo. Give him the cre-
Ditka,” he leaned towards Bimbo’s ear, “She
expired.                              
 “Okay,” Bimbo said reluctantly, they
exchanged with muhbohom, and he disappeared into the neo-
with spectacular fireworks.               
 - What an infection, I could have said that
without him this trough will also not move away from
shore due to the lack of oars, the presence
motor and lackdevices, this mo-
tor of the launcher, - Bimbo swore, ocmat-
rocking the boat. - Well, how was he supposed to know?
that I have a rope and I can curtain
is this crazy floating coffin?!     
 - How did he know the contents?
your pockets?  - he said thoughtfully
Grandalf.                               
 On the other side, a gloomy
forest, and the further they walked, the forest became
darker.  Suddenly the smallest gnome
screamed, pointing somewhere with his finger. After-
marveling at the direction, Bimbo shuddered, but
I didn’t shout: there was a fire hanging between the trees.
rosy web. At its edges hung quite
impressive set of skeletons. Blown the wind
tepok, the bones rattled. It seemed like skeletons
perform a terrible dance to the sound they hear
one music.                            
 - Ugh, what obscenity! - Bimbo ripped off
cobweb                                 
 Then a green one came down from somewhere above
spider and began to quickly eliminate
damage caused by the swamper using
air-hardening glue.            
 - Perhaps we should turn around? - suggested the number
dun.                                     
 “No, really,” Terni stood his ground, “since
We can go further, then we will go further.   
 - Just don’t say later that I don’t love you
“I warned you,” the sorcerer said.           
 Well, then nothing but spiders and spiders
Tina, it didn’t happen, which was possible
expect.  Entire bushes hung on their trees.
chi, and all are equally black and rubber. C
the largest one of the trees moved down
spider hanging upside down and something fence-
shook.  After a short pause along his back
went the green curve of the slider, executed
in the best traditions of our demomakers:   
 - Ha, people! I'm at the top, and you're screwed -
try to get me! Fuck, I'll get you down! 
 “Hey, spider, let’s talk,” he tried
Bimbo had to establish some kind of relationship,
but then another creeper climbed up, not me-
this one is greener than the previous one:             
 - And break off! I am not your rotten bazaars
I'm listening! Like this!                         
 Bimbo got angry and tried to poke it-
th a huge disgusting spider with a sword,
but he rose higher in time, and then
again took the starting position. And, co-
Of course, he didn’t like having him here
called him disgusting.  Bimbo is here
I remembered the stained glass window in Nychrond’s house (if anyone
it’s interesting what is shown there, you can ask
run to visit him, the address is given you -
she). He took a sandwich out of his bag,
in Beorn's house, waved them in front of his nose
spider and threw it to the ground.                 
 - My God! - the spider was surprised. - Real
sandwich with marmalade, if I'm not mistaken!  
 In an instant he slid down and
stuffed the sandwich into his mouth. Second moment
stopped only to piss
pour,and moved on. The third has passed
moment, asking everyone if you saw
who, where did the first two go? Meanwhile
the spider went to another world, because the sandwich that
he swallowed it very recklessly, was
bosom of arsenic. God knows where (maybe
from 'Robin of Sherlock'), from the clouds of fog
and all sorts of mystical lights in the background
Hunter Kharn did not appear (as it turned out,
Amiga has nothing to do with these special effects
has no solution, like a PC). He took the spider
by the paw and disappeared between the trees.            
 Having wandered around a landfill full of
some logs, chip bags and
rusty Coca-Cola cans, knocking
walking to your heart's content through some magical door,
that despite all efforts it never
opened, the swampers returned to the river and
crossed back.                   
 - But I said that there was nothing to do on
“east,” Grandalf gloated.      
 - Well, it was necessary to convince everyone, - pa-
Terni said.                           
 - The same way you did me? - sorcerer
I touched the bump that had popped up on my head.
Tierni looked at Bimbo with suspicion,
but he shook his head negatively, saying
led to a business meeting with the beholder.  
 - Hello, hello, - nonpubetctbo-
shaft monster of his guest cacophonous
creaking.  - However, it’s probably better to bu-
children say "Goodbye" because
now you will die.Bimbo rushed away, but followed the fleeing
the swamp immediately shot up one
out of the tentacles and dragged back.         
 “Okay,” Bimbo sighed resignedly.
- what about the last wish?       
 - What other desire?                   
 - You know, before the execution cmepthuky
but one last wish.                    
 - You’re not a suicide bomber, but speak up
your desire, and then we'll see.           
 - Can I have one last cigarette?            
 - I have no.                           
 - And I have it.                        
 - I will eat. I allow one puff.
Bimbo took a cigarette out of his pocket and took a drag.
nulsya.  The eyes came closer, the beholder approached
was getting ready for some fun, and then Bimbo you-
breathed a cloud of glorious Turkish tobacco
The haze is right in the beholder's eyes. Eyes
blinked, and screamed about "smog-kings" and
"unsociable creatures" beholder in the following
Zach walked away.                          
 Having passed the bank of the Khodyachaya River, the travelers
we reached a place called Dol
Krutnyak - an ordinary psychiatric hospital in the form of an obelis-
a coke-like tower, from which he did not fail
take the opportunity to appear
necromancer.  All attempts to talk to him
ended with the same thing:            
 - My time will come, even though I am now
humping on HXC!  I will rule everything
Let's get dirty!  And if anyone daresbocc-
turn against me, I'll make him... sleep
I'll put... him... I'll make him eat ka-
empty! - he yelled in a frenzy.          
 “Yes, he’s crazy,” whispered Tierni Gran.
dalfu, - And he treats my father?!        
 - What did I tell you? - asked Gran
dalf.                                   
 - You didn't tell me that.              
 Everything inside the tower was painted white
color, completely absent stinging and
cutting objects, or more precisely, in komha-
those were missing items at all. In the middle
There was a slot on the wall that said "Insert card"
magnetic stripe up."                
 - They are all crazy here, - not uniform -
malsya Terni, - The slot is in the middle
walls, not next to the door!?             
 “Perhaps it’s not so simple,” she said.
The sorcerer smiled deeply and thrust the card
inside.  There was a sound as if
started the old lawn mower, and the wall became
la to rotate around its axis, open
tearing access to the next room. Exactly
There they kept the Withered One, Terni's father.
Everything around was upholstered with foam: the walls,
floor, ceiling.  On the ceiling there was a
a large window that was accessible
absolutely impossible.  In one of the corners
there was a small reinforced concrete slab
that one, also upholstered with foam, is intended
naya in order to sleep. lay on it
Seared in a straitjacket.       
 - Father! - ran up tohim Terni.        
A muffled groan was heard in response.  
 “We need to untie him,” and Terni and the entu-
I immediately got down to business.                
 - Fpafibo bolfoe! - the old man chuckled,
he had no teeth.                    
 The withered one stood up, laughing, and then struck
himself with all his might and fell to the ground in
complete absence of consciousness.
Tierney took the shirt and a key fell out of it.
Terni took the key, and the shirt too:      
 - My father has nothing to do with being in a straitjacket -
keep your head up!                           
 Time passed. The travelers were walking. It didn't snow.    
 -  Wow! Why should I fail if this
not old Bimbo! - it was the most common
forest elf, which you can (once upon a time)
lo) meet everywhere. - I will not be me, es-
won't you come visit us! Come in!
- and he pulled out a card from the deck: “Bes-
okay, go to jail. Don't go through
GO. Don't get 200f." Who played mohono-
Liyu will understand that to refuse such
proposals are simply impossible. So here we go
many people come to visit.                 
 ... When the ro-
the door called, Bimbo got out of the dungeon into
corridor, and, as befits any respectable
a self-professed bolotnik, ended up in a wine nor-
reb.  There were barrels all around, covered in places
covered in dust.  Bimbo just got ready
examine the contents of one of them, like
someone grabbed him by theear:               
 - What are you doing here, IK? - asked
dvaaretskiy, from him there was a palpable re-
rapom. - Pasadili to sit - here you go, sit -
be t-IK-ho, - and dragged him back to
dungeon                                 
 ...When the ro-
the door called, Bimbo got out of the dungeon into
corridor, and, as befits any respectable
a self-professed bolotnik, ended up in a wine nor-
reb.  There were barrels all around, covered in places
covered in dust.  Bimbo just got ready
examine the contents of one of them, like
someone grabbed him by the ear:               
 - Well, I told you a while ago that I was sitting
t-IR-ho!  You're giving me a d-ik-yctupobatb
wine,” and dragged him back to prison.
 ...When the ro-
the door called, Bimbo got out of the dungeon into
corridor, and, as befits any respectable
a self-professed bolotnik, ended up in a wine nor-
reb.  There were barrels all around, covered in places
covered in dust. This time he managed to visit
some establishment like MeZho and find a queue-
new key, another magic door (by
all signs of going to already visited
new landfill), and now could observe the
process of d-IR-ustation, since there was also
one door leading to the wine cellar. Next
several issues of the magazine are given
GZ-Rev, helping to shed light on the development
the development of further events.                
             _____             
                               
        GZ-Reva N 1-12, 992          
                               
             From the Editorial Office.               
                               
     Hello, dear friends!      
                               
 You are holding the latest issue of the magazine in your hands
Gz-Roar.  In our opinion, the magazine is becoming
getting better and better every time. This time
we managed to get a completely new one,
a book written seven years ago, which
sigh of relief and publish it. Something's wrong
You make us happy with your letters, so
you have to somehow get out. Well
nothing, next year about adventure
We’ll write something about a new game. You say no-
are they popular?  Nothing, in five years
will become even more unpopular. Well, if the day-
scrape together (you can also chip in
for three to figure out), then send it to us, ugh,
subscribe for next year, otherwise you'll play
Rushes have nothing to buy - we have to
text friends.                     
                               
         One best procedure.          
 D-IR installation program.         
                               
Input: barrels of wine            
Imprint: (censored)      
Effect: a continuous process occurs
d-Ik-ustation                             
Possible malfunctions:                 
   the barrels of wine have run out (butler
   is always in working order and
   can't get out of it except
   non-maskable interrupts coming from
   all those who escaped from prison (omitted
   censorship)).                           
                               
1. The butler takes a new barrel.          
2. The butler opens the barrel.            
3. The butler drinks the contents in one gulp. 
4. A burp follows.                      
5. The butler closes the barrel.            
6. The butler throws a barrel through the hatch into the
   lou down.                              
7. The barrel flies down (below, except for the area 
   kov, nothing is visible).                
8.Goto 1.                               
                               
Total: 250+-50 bytes for implementation        
             _____             
                               
       GZ-Reva N 4-5=-1, 996        
                               
             From the Editorial Office.               
                               
     Hello, dear friends!      
                               
 You hold in your hands, paws and tentacles
built (4-5=-1) number GZ-Revu. Forward-
high, in the 6th year of their existence these
the rooms come out so early. Well, nothing
You will receive them as always with a delay
six months.  Huge unspreadable bread
thanks to all the co-authors of our journal
Nala - THE WORLD'S ONLY polymorphic
publications on the problems of resuscitation
GZ-SPECTRUPA.                            
 We remind all our readers that in
this year we will release seven additional
numbers (in which case we ccemepum them),
for which additional support has been announced
squeak. We ask everyone not to delay the deportation
give us money.                               
 Now about piracy. Almost everyone who
sells OURWe know your programs
us.  Those of them who will continue to be
tend to continue trading in other people's toba-
rum, will become “known” throughout the Mudlands -
we will periodically call them names
magazine pages with bad words (pro-
we ask our readers to help us both in co-
maintaining lists of such traders, and in
inventing bad words
tee, well, the most active reader will receive
the prize is most likely a huge unspreadable
emoe for bread thank you).                   
 So, we are waiting for your suggestions on our
address.                                  
                               
E_there.                                  
                               
 Today's release of this section is half-
dedicated to the never-ending flow
letters regarding "d-IR-installations" (not really
thought that this topic would cause such a reaction
nance!)                                   
 Some of our readers are perplexed
about the fact that we use the word OT-
BURN, without first allowing her to-
mandoy OP (burping is allowed). Friends! He
be book eaters. If we go even further,
then we can mention the preliminary installation
hobky type of snack (cheese) and consumed
liquid product (after all, a snack can
be a pickled cucumber, and, for example, he,
as a snack after food-Ik-yctupobahhoro
sweetwine, looks ridiculous).  More
next - installing a stack so as not to stack
lo for barrels that have not yet been drunk, etc. etc.
Let's stop - everything except money and
beer, good in moderation.                     
 Now specifically about letters. Over the past
two years later, ONE WHOLE LETTER arrived! Let's get started
from what lies on top of the stack. We are pi-
sheet Bmibosoft (possible inaccuracy - post-
Le fifth liter after all):               
                               
Correspondent: Hello, dear editors!    
PFG: Hello, dear reader. You us-
 Have you already read the article “From the Editorial Office”? 
 No? Then hurry up and do it!         
Correspondent: I first saw your magazine on the pro-
 last week when I was in difficulty
 position in the MeZho establishment. I'm dumbfounded
 my soul was shocked by your article “One
 best procedure." This is just cool! you
 brought a new word to Spectrum resuscitation
 na! Thank you very much!                
PFG: It's easy to say thank you, it's on
 you can't spread the bread, it doesn't gurgle and
 The silk doesn't ring!                       
Corr: Nevertheless, after several hours
hard work I managed to improve your
 program. I am sending you the result.       
PFG: This is really something! We are npotec-
 we've created a new program in our minds and we can
 feel free to say: efficiency has doubled
 compared to the previous version with
 increasing the code by only 10%.  With a nail
 version of our correspondent was
 next line:                       
                               
4.1 Bimbo climbs into the barrel.              
                               
 Ee must be placed between the lines
 3 and 5 (in our version - 4.1). Result
 tat exceeds all expectations!           
Correspondent: I want to thank you very much for
 Your three-page "GZ-Cnektpyn. Digging"
 in the insides manually and with the help
 improvised material." He helped me ra-
 get around to your program, write
 bring yours, ottectupobatb, to life.
PFG: We have already talked about thank you. Hanom-
 him that:                               
                               
1) Our three-page book can be ordered at
   catalogue. The new version is a little nepepa-
   nerd andis now printed on one
   page. Price in connection with this hehamho-
   th (one and a half times) increased.       
2) You can also type the program in hexadecimal
   in literal form using the program
   "Go_You", published in 992     
                               
Correspondent: If your magazine were published more often and
 more would be really great!    
PFG: We always meet our readers halfway
 calves.  One was released that year 992
 twelfth edition, and this year
 two have already been built, and the volume of each
 he's grown up! And this is not the limit - here is our
 opinion, and it is always correct. Remember-
 those that we are talking about adventures in the 992nd gov-
 Riley? After all, they don’t play!                
                               
  Plans.                  
                               
 In the next issue we plan to increase
Read the amount of useful information:          
                               
1) The section "From the Editorial Office" will increase.      
2) Let's continue section E_there.              
3) An article is planned about improving the software
   we “Go_you” to work with Scorpio. 
                               
 Due to the large volume of incoming
information, some articles will not be included in
next number. We will print them in very
the latest issue of ZG-For_Um, namely:      
                               
1) Article about turbocharging Scorpio under
   title "Remaking Scorpio into Thor-
   mozpyon (remember, the less often they come
   peonies, the faster the machine runs).  
2) Fixing errors in the "Go_you" revision
   for working with Scorpio.             
3) The complete passage of the obvious
rare arcade game (presumably
   but, a new version of "Cmeptpuca").        
4) There will definitely be a "Figes" section, where
   we will present the next part of the "complete
   collections" of games where it was not possible to find
   immortality or where we managed to find a company
   variable F### mode.                     
                               
 It's not easy to make plans for a longer time
deadline, but next year we will open a new
new section "Junk", where we will reprint
so loved by many of our readers
the book "One Best Procedure", also publishedchildren's article about correcting errors made
data when correcting errors in revision
editor "Go_You" for working with Ckopnuo-
nom, reworking the resulting version of the edited
ra for working with Brake, and finally
Nice, we will publish a complete list of everything,
what we have released recently
seven years with maintenance.         
             _____             
                               
 That's it, no more, no less, no equal.
Let's continue.  So, the barrel was thrown onto the
reg, after which everything comes out of her safely
got out.  Well, as usual, from nowhere
take what has become a Delta 4 tradition,
a garden gnome, an Easter bunny and
Jack the Ripper, who picked up the barrel
ku and disappeared as always to no one knows where
(along with a barrel, of course). Well, for us
there is nothing left to do but move on to the next
this paragraph.                             
 The city of Khlop stood on the shore, and it stood
not on stilts, but on huge candy bars
canes, and lived in this city Shpigard,
caught the eyes of travelers:              
 - Hello, guys! Probably go for the dragon
those?  I can give you a decent bow and
arrows, but I don’t take money - the tax office,
Humaete, I've gone completely crazy. I can
exchange it for something you need.           
 After thinking a little, Bimbo handed him a “ha-
clear"card.                        
 - Wow, yes I can for my birthday
This thing will give you a good drinking party!
It will do,” he held out the bow.             
 “What else could I give him?” Bimbo sorted out
the contents of the pockets when Shpigard grabbed
tapped him by the hand:                         
 - Stop!  What is this? Key? I wonder not
will it fit into a chastity belt?
my friend? - He scratched his bosom thoughtfully
family  - Okay, hold the arrows, and I'll go.
I'll check.                                 
 - Hey, wait! - Terni stopped him. - A
Why didn't you kill the dragon?            
 - No way! I'm not going to go to these cities
ry.  I don't want to talk to the dragon
especially since they are never with me
agree.  And about the fact that
damn!.. Yes, I won’t even be able to get into that
barn door - there was no way to get through it
very problematic, - Well, what if
cleanliness, then in fact I am much worse,
what the Bard was in another life, but not in this
it’s my fault, that’s how I was created,” and he
left.                                    
 Soon, the desert appeared before Bimbo.
This, in general, was not a desert as usual.
nom understanding of this word. Once upon a time this
there was a green plain where stood the glorious
the city of Dale until the dragon came. Now
there were ruins there. Burned houses, looted
stocked shops, mangled and blackened
great cars - this gloomy onelandscape
stretched as far as the eye could see. And also
the eye caught a five hundred foot dragon:  
 - Ha, did you come for my treasure? Doesn't have
meaning, I'll tell you.  See, I'm absolutely
invulnerable, completely protected from everything.    
 - And from caries?  - asked Grandalf.
The dragon turned towards the sorcerer and
breathed fire.                            
 - You should get out of here. Once again you are here
I'll see, and... Well, it's better not to return-
“Hey,” the dragon honored Bimbo with a heavy
look and flew away.                  
 - I don’t see the point in staying here, - na-
Bimbo began to chant, but Tierni looked at him
go with another hard look and slowly
and said firmly:                         
 - Me too. We must move forward.             
 In the area of Bopohoba hill sat a small
bird, a poster was placed next to it:
"I'm trying to get official protection.
my eggs from the eagles, but this is needed
money. Help me and I will help you."   
 Not even a goblin's stash for a good cause
It's a pity.  The bird chirped joyfully,
ran into the nearby bushes and pulled out a ku-
paper juice, Bimbo held it out, picked it up
stole the money and flew away.                   
 - Well, what's there? - the curiosity of the gnomes is not
knew boundaries. - Read it out loud.             
 - The dragon has something vulnerable under its tail
place. Shoot there, and the armor won't protect him.
tit.                                     
 - Well, what am Idid you say? - said the sorcerer.  
 “You didn’t say that,” they answered in
los Bimbo y Terni.                       
 “There will be no milk today,” you said.
weights at the entrance to the cave, there were lying around
piles of bones.  As expected, enter with
no one was going to make a grand entrance - why?
then there are secret doors? Allowed
also for the dragons to lie on a pile of juice
rovishch.  And finally, it is supposed that
pou defeated the dragon. It's not allowed only
shoot an arrow down the dragon's tail - you should
did so, would you not die of shame,
disappointments and some inconveniences in this
vital organ? Be that as it may-
lo, the dragon was dead, the dwarves fled
watch and share the treasure, the total weight
which amounted to about five tons.
Barkenstone lay apart, Stone Cod-
early Skin - a real work of art
art created by masters of the east, its
Bimbo decided to quietly appropriate what he
did it first.                 
 When the treasure was divided and ynakoba-
but the detachment moved home.                
 - I’m even glad that this adventure is legal -
"I thought," said Bimbo to Grandalf.       
 “Don’t rush,” he answered, puffing on his pipe.
that one, and then a voice rang out:            
 - Greetings, mud-lander!         
 Bimbo almost jumped.  At the waterfall
stood a class 37 star cruiser. Bimbo
opened his mouth.Meanwhile the voice continued
sting:                                     
 - We found ourselves locked in your world. Our
The crystal engine crumbled into dust.  You
You must help us if you want to live.     
 - I want it, I want it as much as I want! - he turned to
sorcerer  - If you are so smart, tell me
what to do!                              
 - But I won’t tell! Out of principle! But this
thing you have.                       
 After such a tip, even Bimbo was able to
guess.                                
 - Well, they give it there in the east! - surprised-
Bimbo shouted when the cruiser soared up and
disappeared.                                   
 - Yes, it’s electronics, high tech.
gie... - the sorcerer said thoughtfully.  
 - What? - Bimbo didn’t understand, but Gran-
Dalf didn't say another word.       
 Home Sweet Home! How nice it is to see you again
sit in your own chair, see dear
my heart is filled with bottles in cobwebs and dust,
warm yourself by the fire in the fireplace, listening to the wind,
entering a room through a window, which
Grandalf himself once defeated it. And also when-
It’s nicer to look at the treasure that is peaceful
gathering dust in the chest, waiting for warmer weather,
when the snowdrift in front of the new door melts
(Bimbo did replace the one that couldn’t
close, put another door, without
be silly (what is it, see at the beginning
text)), you can go to the nearest
tavern and stock up on ale, or whateverstronger.  And by the way, where did you go?
this sorcerer? He didn't say where he was.
this Speed is determined and when it is assigned
meeting!  Have you seen him by any chance? If
you'll see, give him a few kind words
from a swamp whose name is Bimbo.        
________________________________