Humor - G. Oster. Bad advice.

                                        
       
       
       
       
       
       
       
       
       
       
                                        
                   N1                   
                                        
          Потерявшийся ребёнок          
        Должен помнить, что его         
       Отведут домой, как только        
         Назовёт он адрес свой.         
        Надо действовать умнее,         
           Говорите: "Я живу            
        Возле пальмы с обез'яной        
         На далёких островах".          
         Потерявшийся ребёнок,          
          Если он не дурачок,           
        Не упустит верный случай        
       В разных странах побывать. N2                   
                                        
 Hands never anywhere          
           Don't touch anything.            
        Don't get involved in anything         
           And don't go anywhere.            
        Move aside silently        
         Stand modestly in the corner         
        And stand quietly without moving,        
           Until your old age.           
                                        
 NЗ                   
                                        
 Who hasn't jumped out of a window         
        Together with my mother's umbrella,        
         That dashing parachutist         
           Doesn't count yet.           
        Don't fly like a bird        
       Above the excited crowd        
        Don't put him in the hospital        
         With a bandaged leg.         
                                        
 N4                   
                                        
If the whole family is swimming        
         You went to the river         
        Don't bother mom and dad         
          Sunbathe on the shore.           
         Don't arrangescreaming          
       Give the adults a break        
        Without pestering anyone,         
         Try to drown.          
                                        
N5                   
                                        
 There is no more pleasant activity,          
         What to pick your nose with.         
         Everyone is terribly interested         
        What's hidden inside?        
       And who is disgusted to look,        
        He lets him in and doesn’t even look.         
      We don’t get in his way,      
        Let him not bother you either.         
                                        
N6                   
                                        
If your mom caught you          
        For what you love,         
        For example, while drawing         
          In the hallway on the wallpaper,          
        Explain to her what it is -         
     Your surprise for the eighth of March.      
          The picture is called -          
        "Portrait of my dear mother."        
                                        
N7                   
                                        
 Do not take someone else's ifStrangers are looking at you.          
        Let them close their eyes         
          Or they’ll go out for an hour.          
         Why be afraid of your own people?          
       They won’t tell about their own people.        
       Let them look. Grab someone else's       
          And drag him to yours.           
                                        
N7                   
                                        
 Never ask stupid questions         
 Don’t ask yourself,          
           Or even more stupid           
        You will find the answer to them.        
          If the questions are stupid           
          Appeared in my head           
       Ask them straight away to adults,       
       Let their brains crack.        
                                        
 N8                   
                                        
 Visit often            
           Theater buffet.           
         There are cakes with cream,         
           Water with bubbles.           
         Like firewood on plates          
            The chocolates are lying            
        And through a tube you can         
        Drink a milkshake.         
           Don't ask for tickets            
         On the balcony and in the porter,Let them give you tickets         
          To the theater buffet.          
            Leaving the theater            
            You will take it with you             
 Under the trembling heart,         
          In the stomach, a sandwich.          
                                        
N9                   
                                        
 Born a girl - be patient        
           Trips and pushes.           
       And put your pigtails on everyone,       
        Who wouldn't mind pulling them?        
        But someday later         
           Show them the fig            
      And you will say: “Figurines, for you       
           I won't get married!"           
                                        
 N1О                   
                                        
 If you and your friends are together        
          Have fun in the yard          
         And in the morning they put it on you         
           Your new coat,           
      You shouldn't crawl in puddles       
          And roll on the ground          
        And climb fences         
          Hanging from nails.           
 So as not to spoil or stain      
           Your new coat,We need to make it old.        
           This is done like this:            
        Get right into the puddle         
         Roll on the ground          
          And a little on the fence          
          Hang on nails.          
       Very soon it will become old        
           Your new coat,           
       Now you can calmly        
          Have fun in the yard.          
      You can safely crawl in puddles       
          And roll on the ground          
        And climb fences         
          Hanging from nails.           
                                        
 N11                   
                                        
 If you are along the corridor           
         Ride your bike         
       And towards you from the bathroom        
          Dad went out for a walk          
        Don't turn into the kitchen        
 There is a solid refrigerator in the kitchen.     
        You better brake for dad,         
        Dad is soft. He will forgive.        
                                        
                  N12                   
                                        
 If you are united forever,        
            Illuminated and lead,            
        Don't try to dodgeFrom movement to celebration.        
       Still will raise to work       
         And it will inspire you to heroism          
         You are great and mighty          
         And our reliable stronghold.          
                                        
 N1З                   
                                        
 The main business of your life        
       Any trifle can become a problem.        
       You just have to firmly believe       
          There is no more important matter.          
          And then it won't hurt           
         You are neither cold nor hot,         
         Choking with delight,         
 Be busy with nonsense.            
                                        
 N14                   
                                        
 Hit the frogs with sticks.         
          This is very interesting.          
        Tear off the wings of flies,         
         Let them run on foot.         
        Exercise daily         
     And a happy day will come -      
       you to some kingdom       
        They will be accepted as the chief executioner.         
                                        
 N15                   
                                        
 Never girls          
           Not to be noticed anywhere.           
         And don't give them a pass         
            Nowhere and never.            
       They need to put their feet up       
           Scare from around the corner           
         So that they immediately understand:         
          You don't care about them.          
     I met a girl - quickly      
Stick your tongue out.             
         Let her not think          
         That you're in love with her.          
                                        
 N16                   
                                        
 Starting a fight with dad,         
          Starting a fight with mom,          
       Try to surrender to your mother, -        
         Dad takes no prisoners.         
         By the way, find out from your mother,         
           Has she forgotten -           
       A prisoner hit with a belt on his butt       
        Prohibited by the Red Cross.        
                                        
 N17                   
                                        
 If you are the whole world of violence        
         Are you going to destroy         
       And at the same time you dream of becoming        
         Everything without being anything         
         Move boldlybehind us         
         Along the paved road,         
           We will give you this path           
 We can even give in.          
                                        
 N18                   
                                        
 Don't settle for anything         
          With no one and never           
      And those who agree with you       
            Call them cowardly.            
         For this everyone will start you         
           Love and respect.            
          And you will have it everywhere          
          Full of friends.          
                                        
 N19                   
                                        
 If there are cockroaches in the kitchen          
          Marching around the table           
           And the mice are happy            
          There's a practice fight on the floor,          
       So it's time for you to go        
       Stop fighting for peace        
        And give up all your strength         
         To fight for purity.          
                                        
 N2О                   
                                        
 If you are going to a friendTell me your troubles          
        Take a friend by the button         
          It's useless - he'll run away,          
        And it will leave you with a souvenir         
           This button is a friend.           
        Better give him a kick        
      Throw on the floor, sit on top      
          And then in detail          
         Tell me your trouble.          
                                        
 N21                   
                                        
 If you came to see your friends,       
        Don't say hello to anyone.         
     Words: "please", "thank you"      
           Don't tell anyone.            
         Turn away and ask questions         
         Don't answer anyone's questions.          
        And then no one will say         
        About you, that you are a talker.        
                                        
N22                   
                                        
 If anything happens,       
          And no one is to blame           
          Don't go there or else           
          You will be to blame.          
    Hide somewhere on the side.     
           And then go home.           
        And about the fact that I saw this,        
           Don't tell anyone. N2З                   
                                        
 If they didn’t buy you a cake       
   And they didn’t take us to the cinema in the evening,   
     You need to be offended by your parents,      
   And go without a hat into the cold night.    
            But not just like that            
           Wander the streets           
          And in the dense dark           
            Forest to go.            
           There's a wolf right there for you           
         Hungry to meet,          
           And, of course, quickly           
 He will eat you.             
     Then mom and dad will know     
     They will scream, cry and run away.     
     And rush to buy a cake      
            And to the cinema with you            
          They'll pick you up in the evening.          
                                        
 N24                   
                                        
 Look what's going on        
        In every house at night.         
      Turning his nose to the wall,      
         The adults lie silently.          
           They move their lips           
        In the pitch darkness         
         And with my eyes closed          
         They jerk their heels in their sleep.         
       No wayagree        
        Go to bed at night.        
          Don't let anyone          
       Putting you to bed.        
           Do you really want            
           My childhood years            
         Spend under the blanket          
 On a pillow without pants?         
                                        
 N25                   
                                        
 There is a sure way to please    
                               adults:
    In the morning, start yelling and littering,    
Eavesdropping, whining, running around the house,
  Kicking and begging for gifts from everyone.   
   Be rude, cunning, tease and lie,   
 And in the evening suddenly stop for an hour, - 
 And immediately, looking with a touched smile, 
  All the adults will pat you on the head  
 And they will say that you are a wonderful boy 
      And there is no child nicer than you.      
                                        
 N26                   
                                        
 If you came to the Christmas tree,         
       Demand your gift right away       
       Look, there's no candy        
         Santa Claus has not healed.          
        And don't you dare carefree         
        Bring home leftovers.        
 How mom and dad run into each other -       
           Half will be taken away.            
                                        
 N27                   
                                        
 If punishment awaits you         
          For bad behavior          
     For example, for being in the bathroom      
         Have you bathed your cat?          
        Without asking permission         
         Neither the cat nor the mother,         
      I can suggest you a way       
       How to escape from punishment.       
         Hit your head on the floor,         
       Beat yourself in the chest with your hands        
         And weep and shout:          
       “Oh, why did I torture the cat!?       
        I am worthy of terrible punishment!        
    My shame can only be redeemed by death!"     
        Not even half a minute will pass,         
       How, crying with you,        
      They will forgive you and, to console you,      
       They will run for a sweet cake.       
         And then calm down the cat          
 You lead me by the tail into the bath,       
        After all, a cat is a tell-all         
           He will never be able to.           
                                        
 N28                   
                                        
 For example, you havein your pocket        
        It turned out to be a handful of sweets,        
        And they came towards you        
          Your true friends.           
      Don't be afraid and don't hide,       
         Don't rush to run away          
         Don't shove all the candy         
       Along with candy wrappers in your mouth.        
        Approach them calmly        
         Without saying unnecessary words,         
        Quickly taking it out of his pocket,        
        Give them... your palm.         
        Shake their hands firmly,         
         Say goodbye slowly          
       And, turning the first corner,       
        Rush home quickly.        
       To eat candy at home,       
         Get under the bed         
 Because there, of course,        
        You won't meet anyone.        
                                        
 N29                   
                                        
 Take thick cherry juice       
          And my mother's white cloak.           
      Gently pour the juice onto the cloak -       
            A stain will appear.            
       Now, so that there is no stain       
           On my mother's cloak,            
        The entire cloak must be put in        
         Into thick cherry juice.         
       Take your mother's cherry raincoat       
            And a mug of milk.Pour the milk carefully -         
            A stain will appear.            
       Now, so that there is no stain       
           On my mother's cloak,            
        The entire cloak must be put in        
         In a saucepan with milk.          
             Take a thick one              
              Cherry juice              
          And my mother's white cloak.           
 Lay carefully...            
                                        
 NZO                   
                                        
 If you break a window,          
        Don't rush to admit it.        
       Wait - won't it start?        
        Suddenly there is a civil war.        
           The artillery will strike           
        Glass will fly out everywhere         
        And no one will scold        
           For a broken window.            
                                        
 NЗ1                   
                                        
 Beat your friends without a break        
        Every day for half an hour,         
           And your muscles           
         It will become stronger than a brick.         
           And with mighty hands,           
        You, when the enemies come,         
        You can do it in difficult timesminute        
         Protect your friends.         
                                        
 Every day for half an hour,         
           And your muscles           
         It will become stronger than a brick.         
           And with mighty hands,           
        You, when the enemies come,         
        You can do it in difficult times        
         Protect your friends.         
                                        
 NЗ2                   
                                        
 Never wash your hands         
            Neck, ears and face.            
           This is a stupid thing to do           
         Doesn't lead to anything.         
        Your hands will get dirty again         
            Neck, ears and face,            
       So why waste energy?       
         Time to waste.          
       It's also useless to get a haircut,        
          There's no point.          
         By old age by itself          
            Your head will go bald.            
                                        
---------------------------------------
                                        
                  NЗЗ                   
                                        
         Never allow          
        Set a thermometer for yourself         
        And don't swallow pills,         
          And don't eat powders.          
       Let your stomach and teeth hurt,        
          Throat, ears, head,           
      Don't take any medicine anyway      
          And don't listen to the doctor.          
 The heart will stop beating,        
           But for sure            
       They won't stick mustard plaster on you        
           And they won't give you an injection.           
        If you are hospitalized        
       And you don’t want to lie there,        
       Wait until they come to your room       
       The most important doctor will come.       
          Bite him - and immediately           
         Your treatment will end         
       That same evening from the hospital       
          They'll take you home.                                        
                  NZCh                   
                                        
          If mom is in the store          
        I just bought you a ball         
         And he doesn't want the rest          
        Everything he sees is bought,        
      Stand straight, heels together,      
       Place your hands to the sides,        
         Open your mouth wider          
          And shout the letter "A"!          
         And when, dropping the bags,          
 With a cry: "Citizens! Alarm!"     
          Buyers rush          
         Led by sellers         
        The store director is here to see you         
        He will crawl up and tell his mother:        
        "Take everything for free,        
       Let him just shut up."       
                                        
 NЗS                   
                                        
 When you are your own mother         
         Leads to dentists         
         Don't expect mercy from her          
         Don't shed unnecessary tears.         
      Be silent like a captured partisan      
           And grit your teeth like that           
       So that she won’t be able to unclench them        
          Crowd of dentists. N3b                   
                                        
 If you stayed at home          
          Alone without parents           
         I can offer you         
 Interesting game             
      Titled "The Brave Chef"      
         Or "The Brave Cook".         
       The essence of the game is preparation.        
       All kinds of delicious dishes.       
          I suggest for starters          
       Here's a simple recipe:        
         Need to wear daddy's shoes         
          Pour out my mother's perfume,           
          And then these shoes           
       Apply shaving cream       
        And, watering them with fish oil        
        With black mascara in half,         
      Throw in the soup that mom       
          I prepared it in the morning.           
      And cook with the lid closed       
         Exactly seventy minutes.         
         You'll find out what happens         
         When the adults come.         
                                        
 NЗ7                   
                                        
 If your friend is your best       
         Slipped and fell          
 Point your finger at a friendAnd grab your stomach.          
     Let him see, lying in a puddle, -     
         You're not upset at all.          
        A real friend doesn't love         
         Upset your friends.         
                                        
 NZ8                   
                                        
 If you are not yet sure          
         We have chosen a path in life         
         And you don't know why         
       Start your labor journey,       
      Break the light bulbs in the entrances -      
       People will thank you.       
           You will help the people           
         Save electricity.         
                                        
 NZ9                   
                                        
 To kick you out of the apartment        
         Various flies and mosquitoes,          
        I need to pull down the curtain         
         And spin it over your head.         
 Paintings fly off the walls,        
          Flowers from the windowsill.          
         The TV will tumble         
       The chandelier will crash into the parquet.        
        And, escaping from the roar,         
           Mosquitoes will fly away           
           And the frightened flies            
          The flock will rush south.N4O                   
                                        
 If you decide in the morning          
           Behave well           
        Feel free to go into the closet        
          And dive into the darkness.          
       There's no mom or dad there,        
          Only daddy's pants.          
      No one will shout loudly there:      
     "Stop it! Don't you dare! Don't touch it!"     
        It will be much easier there        
            Without disturbing anyone,            
        Behave all day long        
           And lead decently.           
                                        
N41                   
                                        
 I decided to fight - choose        
          The one who is weaker.           
      But the strong can fight back,       
            Why do you need her?             
     The younger the one you beat,     
           The more joyful the heart           
    Watch him cry, scream,     
            And he calls mommy.            
        But if suddenly for the baby         
         Someone stepped up          
      Run, scream and cry loudly,       
            And call mommy.             
                                        
N42                   
                                        
 There is a reliable way to dad        
         Drive you crazy forever.         
        Tell your dad honestly         
          What did you do yesterday?          
        If he can         
          Stay on your feet          
        Explain what to do         
 Tomorrow you think.           
        And when with a crazy look        
           Dad will sing songs           
          Call an ambulance.          
             Her phone number is OZ.             
                                        
 NCZ                   
                                        
 If you walked around wearing a hat,         
          And then she disappeared          
        Don't worry, mom is home        
       You can lie about something.        
      But try to lie beautifully,      
        To look in admiration,         
          Holding my breath, mom          
         I listened to lies for a long time.          
         But if you lied          
         About the lost hat          
         What is it in an unequal battle          
          A spy took it from you,          
        Try to mom        
         I didn’t go to be indignantTo foreign intelligence         
         They won't understand her that way.          
                                        
                  N44                   
                                        
 "We need to share with the younger ones!"       
        “We need to help the younger ones!”        
          Never forget          
          These are the rules, friends.          
         Repeat very quietly          
        Theirs to someone older than you        
         So that the younger ones about it          
           We didn't find out anything.            
                                        
 N45                   
                                        
 If your hands are at lunch           
          You got the salad dirty          
        And you feel embarrassed about the tablecloth        
         Wipe your fingers,          
           Lower it discreetly           
      They are under the table, and it’s calm there       
          Wipe your hands           
          About the neighbor's pants.           
                                        
N46                   
                                        
If you're in your pocket         
          I didn't find a penny          
      Look in your pocketneighbor -      
         Obviously the money is there.          
                                        
 N47                   
                                        
 If your desk neighbor        
        Became a source of infection         
          Hug him and go to school          
         You won't come for two weeks.         
                                        
N48                   
                                        
 To spontaneous combustion          
          Didn't happen in the house          
          Leaving the premises           
          Take your iron with you.           
        Vacuum cleaner, electric stove,         
           TV and floor lamp           
       Better with light bulbs together       
        Take it to the neighboring yard.        
          And it will be even more reliable          
 Cut the wires,           
       So that throughout your area        
          The set immediately went out.          
       Here you can be sure        
          You're almost certainly           
         What from spontaneous combustion          
          The house was reliably protected.           
                                        
 N49                   
Matches are the best toy         
          For bored children.          
     Dad's tie, mom's passport -     
        Here is a small fire.         
         If you throw the slippers         
          Or put a broom           
       You can fry a whole chair       
        Cook the fish soup in the nightstand.         
         If adults are somewhere          
        The matches were hidden from you,         
        Explain to them that matches        
         For the fire you need.          
                                        
N5O                   
                                        
           If you wash your son            
         Mom suddenly discovers          
         That she is not washing her son,          
         And someone else's daughter...         
       Don't let mom be nervous        
         Well, does she care?         
         There are no differences          
         Between dirty children.         
                                        
N51                   
                                        
        When you get old, go        
            Walk along the street.            
      Don't get on the bus, anyway      
          You'll have to stand there.          
          And now it’s not enoughfools          
          To give way,          
        And to those distant times        
          There won't be any of them at all.          
                                        
N52                   
                                        
        If you played football         
 On the wide pavement           
         And, hitting the goal,          
        Suddenly we heard a whistle,         
      Don't shout "Goal" maybe      
             This is a policeman             
        Whistled when hit         
         Not at the gate, but into him.         
                                        
NSЗ                   
                                        
           Running away from the tram,           
         Don't rush under the dump truck.         
           Wait at the traffic light           
           Won't show up yet            
         Ambulance car -         
       It's full of doctors        
        Let them crush you.         
          They will heal themselves later.           
                                        
         If you want enemies          
         Win with one blow         
         Rockets and shells for you,          
          And there's no need for cartridges.          
       Reset tohim on a parachute       
 .................................     
       (fill in this line yourself)        
        An hour later the enemies, sobbing,         
       They will come running to surrender.       
                                        
 NSЗ and 1/2                
                                        
       If you are the last one on the council        
    You don’t want to insert a line yourself,     
           Choose any one for yourself            
          From those offered to you          
      Drop them by parachute:       
        Your little sister,         
         Dad, grandma and mom,          
       Two bags of rubles and three rubles,       
        The headmistress of your school,         
       The full staff of teachers' council       
       Engine from "Zaporozhets"        
         Dozens of dentists          
         Chernov's boy Sasha,         
         Little Masha Oster,          
        Tea from the school canteen,        
       The book "Bad Advice"...       
        An hour later the enemies, sobbing,         
 They will come running to surrender.       
                                        
 N54                   
                                        
        If you are called to dinner,         
        Hide proudly undersofa        
         And lie there quietly,         
        So that they don’t find you right away.        
         And when from under the sofa          
         They will drag you by the legs,          
        Break out and bite        
       Don't give up without a fight.        
         If they still get it         
         And they will seat you at the table,          
          Tip the cup over          
         Pour the soup on the floor.          
         Cover your mouth with your hands          
         Fall down from the chair.         
       And throw the cutlets up,        
       Let them stick to the ceiling.       
        In a month people will say         
           Sincerely about you:           
       "He looks thin and dead,       
        But the character is strong."        
                                        
                  N55                   
                                        
         If you decide first          
    To join the ranks of your fellow citizens -     
          Never catch up          
         Rushing forward.          
       Five minutes later, cursing,       
          They will run back          
       And then, leading the crowd,        
         You will rush ahead.          
                                        
 N56                   
If to dad or mom         
          Adult aunt came          
        And someone important leads         
         And a serious conversation          
         Need from behind unnoticed          
       sneak up on her and then       
      Shout loudly right in your ear       
     "Stop! Give up! Hands up!"      
         And when aunty gets off the chair          
           He'll fall out of fright            
 And it will spill on his dress        
        Tea, compote or jelly,         
       It's probably very loud        
          Mom will laugh          
       And, proud of my child,       
         Dad will shake your hand.          
       Dad will take you by the shoulder        
           And it will lead somewhere.           
       It'll probably be there for a very long time        
        Dad will praise you.         
                                        
 N57                   
                                        
          Get yourself a notebook          
         And write down in detail          
         Who's who at recess          
        How many times have I sent it to where?        
       Who is the physical education teacher with?        
      I drank kefir in the gym,      
         And what does dad say to mom at night?          
          He whispered quietly in his ear.           
                                        
                  N58                   
                                        
 If sharp objects          
         You caught my eye         
        Try them deeper        
        Stick it into yourself.         
        This is the best way         
           See for yourself            
          What are dangerous items?          
         We must hide it from children.         
                                        
 N59                   
                                        
         Are you being held accountable?         
       Well, know how to answer.       
    Don't shake, don't whine, don't mumble,     
        Never hide your eyes.         
        For example, my mother asked:        
        "Who scattered the toys?"        
         Answer that it's dad          
         He brought his friends.         
     Did you get into a fight with your little brother?      
         Say he's the first          
          Kicked you in the neck          
         And he swore like a bandit.          
           If anyone is in the kitchen           
 I bit all the cutlets,          
      Answer that the cat is the neighbor's,       
        Or perhaps the neighbor himself.         
       Whatever you're inguilty,       
         Learn to answer.         
        For each one's actions         
         I must answer boldly.         
                                        
N6O                   
                                        
         If you are determined          
        Steal a plane to the West,        
        But you can't think of it         
         How to scare pilots          
          Read passages to them          
        From today's newspaper, -        
          And they go to any country          
         They will fly away with you.          
       It's better to tease from the window,        
           From the eighth floor.            
         From a tank is also good,          
          When the armor is strong.           
         But if you want to bring         
         People to bitter tears,         
They are the safest           
           Tease on the radio.           
                                        
                  N61                   
                                        
       When a guest drops his cup,        
         Don't hit your guest in the forehead.          
        Give me another cup, let's go        
         He drinks tea calmly.          
        When this cup is a guestWill fall off the table            
        Pour tea into a glass for him,        
         And let him drink in peace.         
       When will the guest finish the dishes?        
          There will be a lot of noise in the apartment,          
        He'll have some sweet tea        
           Pour it by the collar.           
                                        
N62                   
                                        
          If you are on the phone          
            Called a fool            
        And they didn’t wait for an answer,        
        Throwing the phone down,         
Dial the number quickly          
        From any random numbers         
       And to the one who picks up the phone        
         Let me know - I'm a fool myself.          
                                        
                  NbZ                   
                                        
       Address of the school where       
        I was lucky to study        
         Like a multiplication table          
        Remember firmly, by heart,         
         And when will it happen to you         
      Meet a saboteur      
          Without wasting a minute,           
          Please provide the school address.           
                                        
 N64                                        
        Don't be upset if        
         Calling mom to school          
       Or dad. Don't be shy        
          Bring the whole family.          
       Let the uncles and aunts come        
          And second cousins          
 If you have a dog,         
            Bring her too.             
                                        
N65                   
                                        
         If you decided to sister          
        Just to scare as a joke,        
         And she’s down the wall from you         
            Runs away barefoot            
         So the jokes are funny         
           They don't reach her           
      And you shouldn’t give it to your sister       
         Live mice in slippers.         
                                        
N66                   
                                        
        If you caught your sister         
          With the grooms in the yard,          
           Don't rush it quickly           
         Give it to mom and dad.         
         Let the parents first         
           She will be given in marriage,            
       Then you'll tell your husbandEverything you know about your sister.       
                                        
 N67                   
                                        
          If he's chasing you          
         Too many people          
        Ask them in detail         
           What are they upset about?            
       Try to console everyone.       
          Give everyone advice          
      But reduce the speed      
         Absolutely no use.          
                                        
N68                   
                                        
         Don't be offended by         
          Who beats you with his hands,          
        And don't be lazy every time        
            Thank him            
        For sparing no effort,        
          He beats you with his hands,           
       And I could take these hands        
           And a stick and a brick.            
                                        
 N69                   
He beats you with his hands,           
       And I could take these hands        
           And a stick and a brick.            
                                        
N69                   
                                        
 If it's a friend's birthday       
         I invited you to my place,         
        You leave the gift at home -        
           It will come in handy yourself.           
     Try to sit next to the cake.     
        Don't engage in conversations.         
         You're talking          
       Eat half as much candy.       
        Choose smaller pieces         
        To swallow faster.        
        Don't grab the salad with your hands -        
       You'll scoop up more with a spoon.        
        If they suddenly give you nuts,         
       Place them carefully in your pocket,        
       But don't hide the jam there -       
         It will be difficult to take it out.         
                                        
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