MASHENKA AND THE BEAR.
"A cigarette butt is the remains of an eaten chicken"
(From school folklore)
Chapter 1. (In which Chatsky fights
Famusov, however, this chapter is better
skip)
Night. Chatsky Castle. Candles are burning
fireplace, moon outside the window and right wing
castle Chatsky and
Famusov. Chatsky, with his feet on the table,
smokes Belomorina. Famusov is picking at
nose with a sliver. A cockroach is crawling along the wall.
Chatsky, scratching his forehead, says: “eka
there’s a little bitch crawling!” Famusov
gives an armful of his eyebrows, raises
the hem of a striped skirt (damn it, the skirt is
then from where?! oh well) and for a long time
looks at his shaggy knees.
There is silence. Loved ones can be heard
ruptures. A bug is crawling along the wall. Chatsky
he scratches his forehead, looks back at Famusov and
says: “There’s a little bitch crawling over there!”
He, dropping small things with every movement
brick crumble from a thick beard,
mutters: “At my age...”, and
continues to sleep as if nothing had happened.
You can hear snoring and the sound of sawingbars from a nearby prison. Chatsky scratches
forehead like a smoldering log and, seeing something crawling across
a rat on the wall (forgive me, Lord),
says: “There’s a little bitch crawling!”
Famusov, half asleep, jumps up from the hayloft
own eyebrows, runs around the room,
shouts something absurd, snatches it from
Chatsky's hands take a log and hit it with a flourish
wall. Saliva sprays from his mouth and
swimsuit flutters. Chatsky
puts forward his square
jaw, and Famusov tripped over it
wipes the sweat with his shirt sleeve and immediately
falls asleep. Chatsky looks back at the rustling and
sniffling in the corner - crawling along the wall
crocodile - “Evon over there biting..” Famusov,
making an indefinite sound, motionless
looks at the crocodile with one eye, and
others to Chatsky. He's starting to
right ankle twitching. Then he
taking off from his place, he rushes at both
immediately and begins to choke. Knotted
brawl. Suddenly this fuss is interrupted
conditional shot from a cannon.
Chapter 2. (In which suddenly the
says Stirlitz, without whom there would not have been
third chapter)
Chatsky pushes away with contempt
the sniffling Famusov and goes to open
door. There it turns out wet from the head
to the noseStirlitz with five conditional
fire extinguishers in hands. "We play dice
?" - he remarks ironically, looking around
steel scattered around the room
fireproof bedside tables. "Wow, to the bones" -
Famusov quickly comes to his senses.
The situation is defusing. Stirlitz throws
in the corner of the oilcloth overcoat, pulls off
heavy slippers, and stretching his legs towards the hem-
well, he sits cross-legged on the carpet. Chatsky,
like a host, he pours warm Buratino into
chandelier horn, hands it to the guest and sits down
nearby, patiently waiting for the guest
warms up and begins his story.
The crocodile in the corner stops crunching
cockroaches, and pricks up his furry ears.
Stirlitz, drinking and sniffing cardboard
cartridge case from the Belomor, leans back on
back, and folded his arms on his chest and covered
eyes, begins his next story.
Chapter Z. (Which actually
represents what the author is about and
was going to write)
Stirlitz's story:
" Once upon a time there was a girl. And her name was
Margarita Fillinovna. And she was 86 years old.
And she had a granddaughter - Mashenka. True
Aryan, discrediting her connections, therefore, not
had. There you go. I took it onceMashenka
chest, and went into the forest to get water. And on
on the third day of the journey, the wind suddenly came,
snatched the chest from her hands, tore
sheepskin coat, crossed the Swedish border and
disappeared in an unknown direction.
Masha cried, but apparently there was nothing to do,
you'll have to get there on foot. And I came across
she is on a lonely log skyscraper. A
Three bears lived in a skyscraper: a black man,
Georgian and Russian. The black man's name was Mishutka,
and he was black as night. The Georgian's name was
for some reason Nastasya Petrovna was he
white as snow. The Russian bear was
spotted, and his name was Michal-Sergeich.
And they rented out half of the skyscraper
a modest student family consisting of:
Dobrynya Nikitich, Zmey Gorynych, Vugluskr
and five mice. Dobrynya with the Serpent
day after day they drank and fought on
fireplace stoves, and Vugluskr for the whole day
went into the forest with the mice, taking with him
some beer, crackers, stewed meat and
slingshot Well, that's it. Mashenka opened
iron door, and boldly entered the house.
But the bears were not at home. stood on the table
three buckets of black caviar - large,
average, and the largest. Next to
there were three chairs at the table - a large one,
electric, and a stool from Swedish
headset. Mashenka climbed onto the small
stool, and ate it with appetite
the contents of all three buckets. Then she
staggering, hiccupping andhumming unsteadily
in a very cheerful voice, but
a very indecent song, approached
large chair, climbed onto it, and
Pulling a mold out of my pocket, I made a
on the table a neat little cake made from leftovers
caviar. Then she climbed onto
electric slul and began to pull
switch He didn't give in. Mashenka
cursed dirtyly and pulled harder,
broke a chair. First from under him
a whole sheaf of sparks flew out, then there was a smell
smoke, and the chair fell apart into three equal
parts, and fifteen unequal. But Masha
It wasn't upsetting at all. She was even
not enough. She pulled back the heavy gilded
the chandelier all the way to the floor and let go.
A powerful blow and the ceiling were heard
collapsed. Boards fell from above,
logs, tiles, blue toilets, money
and the pitifully squeaking Serpent Gorynych. He's with
groaning as he got out of the pile of money, wiped
eyes and looked forward. But ahead
there was no one there. (Meticulous reader
probably guessed that Masha was standing in
side) Then the Serpent growled and gnashed
teeth, and awkwardly turned to the left. But
and then he didn’t see anyone! (A Masha
for a while she stood on her right, and couldn’t help but
doula.) What a nuisance! - thought
Gorynych burned a hole in front of him
wall.
At this time he felt somechanges in the environment, and, in
specifically, in your own ass. He
felt that his body was gradually
is compressed, the deformation penetrates everything
deeper and deeper, transferring energy
bones of the skeleton, finally all of it
the body changes shape and begins
overcoming friction, move forward.
The tale tells itself quickly, but much more
things get done faster. In short, Mashenka
gave the Snake a kick, and he flew into the
a burnt hole, where it got stuck. Masha
I shook myself off and took the collection out of my pocket.
fairy tales in 42 volumes, I found a tale about three
bears and looked around - “So, there should be
be a bedroom with three beds." -
thought Masha and went to the oak door.
"Sim-sim, open up!" - said Masha
in Levitan's voice. The door creaked and fell
and crushed Masha. She got out groaning
from under the door, and put it in place.
"Sim-sim, open up!" - said Masha
in Shifrin's voice and stepped aside.
The door fell inward and hit the sleeping man
on the floor of Vugluskra. Masha walked in decisively
into the room directly along the lying door. There
there were three beds... No! Masha is not
I believed my eyes, but there it stood
8O(!) folding beds. (That's why I'm watching a fairy tale
something went wrong)
Chapter 4. (Miracles from under
nails!) She looked at this
headset - “Something is not right here!”, and
pulling a half-half out from under the door by the scruff of the neck
live Vugluskr, short and precise
motion threw him onto the first
folding bed, the fabric of which was
painted with small American
flags with hammers and sickles. rang out
a thin ringing sound, and the poor man
the creature grew a nose of such size that
hung it over the edge of the cot, and he
fell to the floor. While he was doing his
non-stop flight to the floor, in Mashenka
The experimenter suddenly woke up. She
rolled up her sleeves and resolutely grabbed
Vugluskra, without allowing him to reach
dusty floorboards, and put it on the third and
covered the top with a second cot.
Two ringing sounds were heard at once,
as if two in a board are drunken cans
the banks suddenly decided to take a walk, and
flew out the window and hit the lamppost
pillar It smelled like ozone. On thick, like
a loaf of nine-ruble sausage on the nose of Vug-
Luskra grew three rough and long
toilet paper strips. Masha touched
them - they were warm and resembled
touch with coarse sandpaper.
A the top folding bed has grown over the edges
thick fringe of strange grays,
hairy and long ears. They are sad
hung down andswayed, rustling,
like laundry on the fence. "So-so" -
Masha thought and carefully put
"object" to the next cot.
"Bang!" - and again there was a smell of ozone. Co
savory woody creaking on the nose Vug-
Luskra, pushing aside the paper ribbons, grew
thick as a bottle of port massive
horn Masha looked appraisingly at her
creation, and thought that if
the edges of the nose have grown nails, it would have happened
very highly artistic
work...
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