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===============================================================================
LETTER OF FATHER SEPAPHIMIA
===============================================================================
(c) Leonid Kaganov
Dear Archimandrite Urhat!
Father Seraphim, rector of the New Church, bows deeply to you
to all those who mourn wild joy in Chertanovo. Glory to the Lord, things are going well
our monastery is going well, we are settling in little by little with God's
help. While it smells more like paint and lime than fumiam,
but the novice Nastasy said that this is always the case in new
buildings and, God willing, will disappear. We pray that it will disappear.
We pray for the health of the builders who created these mansions so quickly
made of glass and stone - God bless the Turks, Finns and construction battalions.
As you remember, on the first of January this year you mentioned in your
speeches modern technologies of serving the Lord, commanding me
establish the Internet in our temple,email and
home page as it is with Father Evlampy in Zhulebinskaya
monastery of the Blessed Virgin. Three days later, following your
order, I halved the donation mug at the entrance and drove along
the address you wrote to me.
Holy Mother of God, the mansions there are no worse than ours! And the parishioners
It was more crowded. With God's help I counted my due
amount of money, enduring the ridicule of cashiers about coppers and
silver And so the Internet was registered in my name! God sees me
asked to write the name in Old Slavonic, but they replied that this
impossible and they wrote me down in Latin letters. At the same time I
they insulted me casually, calling me an eyeless dog, but I tolerated it
humbly.
Returning to the temple, I immediately called Father Evlampius from
Zhulebinsk monastery in the mobile and reported the good news. Father
Evlampius immediately sent two messages from his Internet to ours
Internet, but we did not receive them in any way, although we waited
humbly until Friday. Then I called novice Nastasy, and he
said that for the Internet, first of all, you need a computer.
I had to completely empty the donation mug and with God's grace
help go to the computer, taking Nastasia with you for
understanding.Dear Archimandrite Urhat! The computer cost such a price
that hukakoux we didn’t have enough money, and had to use c
With God's help, my Visa card. We bought a computer and it came with
an abundance of different details that the youth Nastasy advised. We're back
to church and Nastasy set up a computer behind the altar because
There are many European sockets there, and there is also a telephone line. At dawn I again
I called Father Evlampius on his mobile phone and he sent it to our Internet
a new dispatch, but again we received nothing.
Novice Nastasy said that you need to call the service
Internet and find out why email doesn't work.
Having assigned Nastasia to settle the computer, I went into the yard to make calls.
By the way, I have asked Nastasy more than once why the mobile is in the church
works poorly, but under a clear sky it works well, but it doesn’t work either
understands. I didn’t get through right away, but when I got through, I asked
humbly how do we receive email at church? Sees
God - they rudely treated me again, saying that I'm a priest, what do I have
there are no eyes and something else about the “point Py” that I didn’t understand. Humbly
ctepneb insult, I turned my left cheek to my mobile, but they were already
hung up.
The troubles continued from that day - in the morning I started drinking again
our bell-ringer Yegor, and our novice Nastasy, although he is smart in worldly things
affairs, but not the bell businesstrained After praying, I rushed
cam to the Internet service, so quickly that I was twice
stopped by the traffic police, but they immediately let me go with God. Having arrived to them
to the service, I threw aside humility and went straight to the boss. Seeing
me in a cassock, the boss gave me a warm welcome, in every possible way
greeted me, gave him coffee, gave me his business card and wrote on it for
There are many words on our Internet that are not Russian or even Greek. A
Having heard my humble complaints, he assured for a long time that his workers
were not rude, because, they say, “pop eye no dot Py” means on their
language is completely different. “There are no eyes” - they say, it is written in one word and
This is supposedly the name of their entire company. "Point Py" they call
all of Rus', and pop is protocol.
Have you ever heard of filing reports against priests? Not
ctepneb, I asked slyly how to decipher their words then
“Seraphim the dog” that was thrown at me just now? Chief
became embarrassed for a moment and immediately began to lie that, they say, this is a dog
also a word, or rather a letter, and even a sign that is written,
they say, there is a dog sign after the name in the address, and Seraphim is my name,
which means Seraphim is a dog. And many more similar heresies
uttered. I did not interrupt him and listened humbly, only firmly
looked emy in the eyes and constantly made the sign of the cross.
Finally, the power of the Lord acted - the shameless man was embarrassed underwith my clear gaze, became confused and fell silent. God emy judge. I see in my soul
his good desire to make amends for the guilt of his subordinates, but to
Why lie to God knows what, as if I don’t understand anything? Honestly
repented - I would forgive the sin. I don't like this place, I feel it
It’s demonic, but I can’t justify it.
Walking back to the church I heard a bell ringing in the distance, yeah
so skillful that he was amazed and drove into a ditch, almost
crushing the man who was lying there. I decided that the Lord created
miracle - Yegor sobered up and gave em the unprecedented art of bell ringing.
But it turned out that the man I almost ran over in the ditch
this is the dead drunk Yegor. And the ringing came from the fact that
During this time, novice Nastasy installed a cunning device on the bell tower
a device called Subfuver, and plays through our computer
bells ringing from a laser disc. I told emy immediately
turn off the demonic equipment and step into the backyard
atone for sin.
Then he called Father Evlampius on his mobile to complain, but he
said that cam has been playing the bell ringing through the subwoofer for a long time and
He even conducts services with a soundtrack when he is not in voice. I searched in
Vladimir Dahl's dictionary of the living Great Russian language word
I couldn't find the "subwoofer". Twisted the word in yme this way and that way and
I had an epiphany that thisa mixture of the words "Satan", "Beelzebub"
and "Lucifer". Lord, save and preserve!
Having crossed myself and okponub the computer with holy water, I again
called novice Nastasy and told emy to continue repairing us
Internet. Nastasy read the business card with hepycckumu words,
exclaimed out loud “how did I not immediately realize that there were no pop eyes” and
I sat down at the computer, not noticing my reproach. The lad worked hard
at the computer before dark and did everything, after which he brought it to me
a paper with three dispatches from Father Evlampius, in which there was a “test”,
Dear Archimandrite Urhat! Truly there are no words to describe what
happened there! A hairy husband came out to me and introduced himself as an admin
Alexander Nedospasov and said that the boss was talking about me
and asked for any assistance. And I, he says, now personally
I’ll sort everything out and show you. He took me to his back rooms, where
there were many computers. He led me to his computer
and I saw the devil with my own eyes! The devil with horns and pitchforks was jumping across the screen
computer! Uctobo crossed himself, I asked the menacingly hairy
husband what does this mean, but he answered vaguely that it was, they say,
“a normal Unique screensaver,” but he quickly removed the line.
Then he sat down at the computer, typed my name hepycckumu in letters,
did a little magic and said, impudently, that, they say, they are not the same
I'm right! I was indignant at such impudence, but heI replied that he would immediately write out the necessary license for me,
after which everything will be fine.
Now,” he said, “I’ll make a chmod.” Not knowing what it is
"Chmod" and fearing a new misfortune, I leaned over his shoulder to
see what buttons he presses. Lord save and preserve, I
I expected everything, but not this! I swear to all that is holy, I don't
I imagined it! This hairy man typed my name and "chmod 666"...
I immediately cursed their “eye” and all the demonic
Internet! I ran away from there faster than the wind and I'm still praying
May God grant me forgiveness for what my eyes saw! I
locked up the novice Nastasy, ordering him to fast and pray. A
Egor and I threw the computer and all its parts into the river
Chertanovka under the ice. Stay away from the Internet, Archimandrite
Urhat, for Satan tempts us!
POSTSCRIPTUM: In the dictionary of the living Great Russian language
Vladimir Dahl, I looked for the word "chmod", but found only: MEMBER,
SMACK, SMACK, SMACK, SMACK, SMACK, WHAT, prim,
BLACK, DAMN! Save and preserve us, Lord! I smell what's coming
the kingdom of the devil on Earth! I feel it, but I can’t justify it.
____________________________
Sincerely yours, Father SeraphimFebruary 19, 2000, Chertanovo
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