A TRAGIC TALE
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We are sitting in a bar, we are drinking kvass,
We're wearing ADIDAS sneakers,
We receive a decree from the boss,
we fly straight to the east,
bomb a Soviet town,
and that town is not easy,
it's called Moscow.
We fly over the sea, beauty,
seven thousand meters altitude-
and then some fagot
pointed the gun straight at us.
The first shell hit the wing
the radio operator was blown away
the second shell hit the luggage,
and the whole crew stood up like crazy,
the third shell hit the toilet,
There were three there - now they are gone.
We fly over the sea, beauty,
seven millimeters height,
we flew to bomb the union,
Now we are flying to feed the jellyfish.
THE TALE OF ROBINSON
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(unfinished)
It was dawn. The rooster crowed,
the cow farted and the wick went out,
Robinson woke up, scratched his
dick, fucked himself off the bed, and the story began.
We sailed the sea, the ninth wave was coming,
The fucking helmsman escaped from the ship,
we were carried out to sea without control,
hit the rocks and was torn to pieces.
I swam for three days, my dick is like a float,
finally I found an island with my dick,
I went into the cave, there was a whore sitting there,
I grab her tits and let's fuck her,
I go into another, there sits a dragon,
starts the gramophone with his shabby dick.
...
When working with a DVK computer, you need to press
on the pedal, turn the handle so that it beams
She was working. In the morning it should be influenced
put on a little cologne so you're drunk
itthinks better.
I like to give lectures after lunch.
After a catering meal, everyone thinks about
eternal: will they remain alive or not, and
so they sit quietly.
If you have it, then you may not!
- On what basis are students selected?
from Africa to study in Soviet
universities?
- Mainly selected based on three characteristics -
am: he who speaks better walks better
on two limbs and who has a tail
in short.
Diary entry: "Fiddled with the boys-
com in class...".
"Beautiful... I won't say"
gothic" because at the same time something
who sees the face of a dead crusader?
tsa ".
Lesson NVP (DPM). Military leader says: "Pro-
Tivogaz must be put on the back side
noah palms! ".
Entry in the medical history: "Violated
on orientation in space. When you see
a woman's skirt falls under her.
"4. Must keep valuables and money
himself, the administration is not responsible for their sale
answers. "
The inscription on the door of the medical office: "Analy-
Calls are not issued. "
In connection with the Decree, widespread
received perfumery and cosmetic intoxicants
opinion
In a Scottish hospital, a doctor says
to a sick fagot: "How many times have we
asked you not to chase skirts!"
From the newspaper. "Over the years
N heads the party organization
on the farm of the collective farm M. In her group there are 25 co-
first-calf ditch. "
Fused words:Alcoholic
Idology
Ovationist
Socialist royalism
Tsapparat
Sewerization
Plumbing
Mysterica
Pioneer
First printer
R-share
Mistakes!!!
Fucking on kayaks and canoes... (Rowing...)
Balcony-tourist... (Balkan...)
Slutty slaughter... (Slaying on the ice...)
Luis Corvalol... (...Corvalan)
Andrey Minorov ...(...Mironov)
Beautiful, copper, elegant!
(... ,fashionable, ...)
Phnom Penh... (Phnom Penh...)
Bananaism... (Banana + Masturbation...)
Herring with a green face... (...with a green
onions)
Meat with horseradish sauce... (everything seems
right)
Pork concrete... (Bacon...)
Deep Purple...
Ivan Mikhailovich Zharov... (Jean Michel
Heat...)
Goodwin... (Wise Goodwin...)
...and dilute with a splash of water...
(...stream...)
Bite essence... (Vinegar...)
Ruby Garnet Cahors... (Robindronate
Tagore...)
Metro stations:
Syphili
Pro-Union
Wet Dream Square
Pioneer Avenue
Blyadorusskaya
Purgenevskaya
Kontsevskaya
Nagadinskaya
Kiebskaya
Mudvedkovo
Max Avenue
Quickie area
Borovskaya
Madeleevskaya
Ilyich's horse
The peasant woman got hard
(Peasant outpost)
Poebletskaya
Tourskaya
Krasnoplesenskaya
Street 1905 gadaVDNHZ
Moore Avenue
Novosloblyadskaya
Marksiskaya
Orphanage
Sukinskaya
New Serenyushki
Izmyvaylovo
Kutuzkovskaya
Sviblavo
Korovskaya (Kirovskaya)
Serb and Mulatto (hammer and sickle)
Book titles.
"Is there life on Marx."
"Uncle Tam's Cabin."
"White Bim black in the ear."
"Fatal heart.", "Dog balls."
"Ass Pushkin."
"The Way of the Conxvistadors."
(Collection of poems by N. Gumilyov)
"Mine High."
"One hundred days until leprosy."
"Prison."
"Mud."
Announcements.
"...Monday..."
"Sugar only for members of shareholders
trade union..."
"... I live with my sister-girl 75
years..."
"Plug my neighbor's pussy hole
from above, otherwise when she has a leak, and me
drips "
" Bags will be issued from 3
up to 4 . "
"Issuing corpses from three to four"
"The store is open from 8:00 to 2000"
Sign "Cut fabric."
Poems by unknown authors.
I take it out of my wide trousers
Something similar to the muzzle of a tank.
Look, envy, I am a citizen,
Not a citizen.
A woodcutter's ax was heard in the forest:
The forester drove away the homosexual.
My uncle has the most honest rules -
When I seriously fell ill,
So he set the courtyard girl right,
What the janitor couldn't get out.
A flock of sparrows rushed to the south -
You know, I'm tired of pecking at them for shit.
Somewhere a crow shit itself on a branch.
Welland nature, fuck your mother!
My friend gave me four mondaines,
What to drink them, what to feed them -
Are they so tiny?..
Everyone scolds the mondo girls
I feel sorry for these little ones...
Creativity of the older generation.
I was walking with Andreev,
And I want to go with Petrov.
They say that Petrov
It drags along the ground.
It's so dirty outside!
The folder with the eggs got stuck.
I came from the other end
He pushed his father out with his dick.
An ax floats down the river
From the city of Chuguev.
Well, let it float
The piece of iron sucks.
Goodbye, darling,
I'm leaving for Asia.
Maybe for the last time
I'll climb on you.
The steamer hit the shore,
The captain shouts: “Forward!”
How can I fuck someone like that?
Do they trust the ship?
Me and my friend together
Worked on diesel
He's an asshole and I'm an asshole
Our diesel was stolen.
Past the mother-in-law's house
I don't joke around
Then I put my dick in her window,
Then I'll show her my ass.
How young I was
How frisky I was.
Through the hut, along the rope
I went to hell myself.
My friend and I are dicks
They broke the jambs.
Are we really going to go to jail?
For such trifles?
Don't marry girls
Nothing good!Get up in the morning with your tits on one side
And the pussy is disheveled.
I fell in love with a guy
I found myself without a dick,
And I don’t give a fuck without a dick,
When with dicks to dicks.
They said Katka is a virgin,
Dear parents!
The church will fit into this virgin
And priests-robbers.
Dear Vasya, I starred
In a new blue jacket
But not the one I fucked in,
And a little bit different.
Walked along Donskoy street,
I was fucked by a board.
What kind of motherfucker are you!
You can't walk down the street.
I pass by Moore
I see a dick through the bars.
This is my dear Shura
Sends an air kiss.
Dictionary of little-used expressions
words
Submarine horse (submarine + horse)
visor - policeman
dungeon - neighbor
Pomeranian is a seriously ill person
BARAN - bar of the USSR Academy of Sciences
holography - bathhouse for aristocrats
D`Bl - Moron (abbr.)
-= * =-
Fucking Ethiopian! (expletive for Russians)
displaced people in Ethiopia)
SysOp your mother! (SysOp expletive)
FROM SCHOOL ESSAYS...
- 1 -
1. Love your motherland.
2. Katerina threw herself into the river for personal reasons
business.
3. Natasha was connected with the red people
no thread.
4. The sky of Austerlitz broke Bolkons-
whom in half.
5. Screams and hundred were heard on the battlefield
We are the dead.6. Famusov did not sort people out internally
in appearance, but in appearance.
7. The palace was built by serfs
hands of Count Sheremetyev.
8. A corpse lay on the floor, barely breathing,
the corpse's wife was sitting in the house, and the corpse's brother
lay in another room unconscious.
9. Ivan Nikolaevich had his own goal
in life, but he didn’t get into it.
10. Gagarin was the first rogue in
space.
11. Pushkin moved in high society and
spun his wife there.
12. I really like the heroine of the novel
Leo Tolstoy's "War and Peace", especially
when she dances at the ball with Stirli-
cem.
13. Anna threw herself under the train and it took a long time
eked out her miserable existence.
14. The Countess was riding in a carriage with an elevated
with his rear folded like an accordion.
15. Turgenev showed the woman in more
expanded form.
16. In Onegin’s absence, Tatyana often
went to his office, where gradually
turned from a girl into a woman.
17. Natasha was truly Russian in nature,
loved nature very much and often went
to the yard.
18. On the bank of the river, a milkmaid was milking a cow,
but in the water everything was reflected the other way around.
19. Prince Nekhlyudov was a secular man
lump and wet himself with perfume.
20. Onegin came out through the anus and
left.
21. Denis Davydov turned to women
backwards and fired twice.
22. Chelkash walked along the river bank and through
his torn pants were visible
Letarian origin.
23. The milkmaid came down from the podium andat her
The chairman immediately climbed in.
- 2 -
24. Anna got along with Vronsky
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