Don Juan - From the notes of Don Juan (and the notes of a gentleman).

Faultless #08
From the Notes of Don Juan
                 (and gentleman's notes)

* It was always difficult for me to bring home
woman: first because of the parents, and then
because of my wife.

* A man needs a woman to be happy, and
for complete happiness - a plump woman.

* If you want to marry a smart, beautiful
gray and rich, you will have to get married
three times.

* Don Juan's toast: "God willing - not the last-
Nya!

* A gentleman will always ask the owner
permission to smoke, even if in the house
fire.

* A gentleman takes a lady's coat off
two cases: when he likes a lady
and when he doesn't like the coat.

* Should a gentleman give his wife
tights, if she found them in his
pocket?

* Should a gentleman raise his glass?
for a lady, if the lady cannot lift her bo-
feces itself?

* Should a gentleman yield to a lady?
place if it is already occupied?

* Should a gentleman wear a lady's
hands if he sits on his parents'
neck?

* A gentleman never refuses anything to anyone -
It hurts if no one asks him for anything.

√ KVN Archive.

* Yesterday in Moscow with official friendly
the Mongolian delegation arrived on a visit
tion. The delegation was greeted traditionally
but with stones and boiling resin.

* A team of Odessa movers in record
in a short time unloaded the American
Kansky cargo ship. Despite all the pro-
American tests.

* - Oh, girls, they said on the radio today,
what if Zhirinovsky comes toauthorities, then
he will rape everyone.
  - Nonsense, these are just election campaigns -
longing.

* Sports news. The championship has ended
World Formula 1. In last place
our formula: "Soviet power plus
electrification of the entire country."

* - I think that our people will never
will die of hunger.
  - Why is this?
  - Because our governments have always-
Yes, he’ll put some kind of pig on him.

* Russian athlete of the Land Charter
set a new world record in the swim
backstroke, swimming a hundred meters on the back of an American
Kanza.

* Yesterday trainer Ivanov boldly entered
in a cage with a tiger."My legs are hurting here-
there won’t be any more,” he said, hobbling on one
Noah.

* Hospital N5 hosted a drop-off tour
fool. The fool was thrown above everyone else
red shirt.

* Our girls will brighten up your leisure time.Agency
in "Malyar".

√ Reservations and ochromisms.

* Sluggish account;
* Relay Allochka;
* Russian stupidity;
* Anal pawn;
* Shooting star screen;
* Walk-through rest room;
* Panel brothel;
* Golden dog wedding;
* Moral fainting;
* Great domestic industry.

√ Anecdotes.

* The police commissioner asks the newcomer:
- Do you know what a “lie detector” is?
- Certainly! I even recently married one...
nom of them...

* A shaking man enters the doctor's office.
patient and immediately aggressively declares:
- Don’t say that I drink a lot!
- Well, what are you, - you’re just not enoughsnacks-
you know.

 That's all. The magazine has an article on
similar to the one you just read, it is on
called "humor2".

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