King's Bounty 3 - a novella based on the game.

File: Third gift from the King By:
Cheshire Cat/GORE
Origin: That's
      allright, mammy, I'm only bleedin'

   King's Bounty 3

   I dream of ashes...
   B.G.

   When I woke up, it was already dawn.
I had a terrible headache (I shouldn’t have done it yesterday)
celebrate Teacher's Day until the morning
To Vile Things (UMV) along with goblins.
Or with orcs... I don’t even #$% remember). I
I just reached out my hand to the clothes,
when there was a soft knock on the door. I'm in
The answer was a loud curse.  After that in
the door was knocked softly (I would even say
gently) and she disappeared behind the clubs
green smoke.  When the smoke cleared, I
I saw... No, the door was no longer there, there was
only the doorway (a little
extended on the sides) and in it
I saw a threateningly large silhouette.  I
I decided not to conflict and asked almost
politely - 
   , - ominously
whispered the silhouette, “I am the royal magician,
and I advise you to address yourself more politely
me...>
   Well, I couldn't let that happen
I'm an idiot to talk to me like that...
Moreover, due to the hangover I was not
in the mood to listen to this goat.
I am, after all, the best knight inkingdom, and is forced to support
reputation...
   However, as it turned out, a hangover
played a dirty joke on me, and when
my sword has already cut the air in three
millimeters from the opponent, he (the opponent)
managed to suddenly disappear. I just
thought about glitches (stuff happened - and
green gnomes were jumping up and down the walls, and
sphinxes crawled out of the toilet...), as
this bastard appeared again, laughed
with his disgusting laugh (to me
I had to kill people for less
misconduct) and told me (in a voice, still
more vile) that from now on he
will try to introduce me to the king as
the instigator of the conspiracy and (!) as the kidnapper
Princess Laurie.  I went nuts, with difficulty
booted up and only said “So she’s
not kidnapped>.   ,
said the Magician and disappeared into a cloud
smelly smoke.
   I dressed somehow (if you didn’t understand,
then from clothes while talking to me
there was one sword) and went to King Van
(Vanya in Russian).   Bursting into the throne room
Hall I understood - things are bad. King, how
As soon as he saw me, he ordered to grab me
me (that's how old comrade is a pig
kind of) and interrogate.  Ha, grab me
(!) - I personally trained all the guards,
so I scattered them all over the hall
(throwing one onto the chandelier for more
fun) and, approaching the king, politely
bowed (better late than never).-,
I asked.   , - gloomily
Vanya muttered, “You!”
   ,
I rattled cheerfully, quickly
adding up in my mind everything that happened
today.  Everything became clear as if twice
two. Five, I think.
   ,
said the king.  
   “What the hell,” I thought out loud
saying “What are you... Yes, I.. For you...
For the princess... I'm the best... That's all
The machinations of your Magician are such bastards.
He's behind the princess himself
hit...>
   “Well, well,” said the king, “I guess
How did you not hit on her... And
In general, you stole it at the wrong time... >
   
   I've already seen the king soften
(almost on the throneblurred), as if suddenly
a messenger runs in and brings a message
to the king.   For the first time I saw how eyes
the kings crawl out of their orbits... In five
minutes when the king became capable
make articulate sounds rather than
just AAAEEEEEEEEEEEE..., I approached
him, and politely inquired about him
condition, carefully looked into
letter.    And I started publishing myself
the above sounds similar to work
poorly cleaned sewerage.
   “Dear, faithful Knight,” said
king, when I came to my senses, - 
   , I thought, - . I'm modest
nodded his head...