Humor - A modern fairy tale about Little Red Riding Hood.

 A MODERN TALE ABOUT LITTLE RED HIDING Hood.

     In some kingdom, in some
lived in the state, there was a girl. Her name was
Little Red Riding Hood.  And she had a grandmother.
They lived without grieving. In general, we lived well
because everyone lived well in this kingdom
and equally.  But then life began to get worse. A
all because I wound up in this kingdom
a terrible, terrible beast called
inflation.   Previously, this inflation lived
far, far away, beyond the forests and swamps, in
decaying countries.  And when she eats there
there was nothing left, I moved to where
Once upon a time Little Red Riding Hood and her grandmother lived. A
this overseas evil spirits did not feed
"Whiskas" and not "Snickers", but
salaries and pensions that were issued
on time and without delays. Then we gathered
the smartest people in this kingdom and decided
destroy this inflation by starving it to death. A
for this purpose pensions and salaries are given to people
as little as possible, and even better not to give it away
completely.  But this inflation turned out to be very
tenacious, and did not want not only to die, but
and even get sick. That’s why my grandmother got sick. And to her
needed medicine. But in order to
only the sick could be treated, and drink and
there are only hungry, smart people
came up with the idea of distributing medicines and food
cards, coupons and winning lottery
tickets.   Grandma had no moneyon
lottery tickets and strength to stand in
queues for cards.  She could only
lie down.   That's why they wanted to put her in
hospital.   But grandma refused.  She
said that to our hospital with the weak
It's better not to go to bed if you're healthy. Then mom
Little Red Riding Hood baked pies and said
to the girl: “Go, daughter, check
grandmother, take her some pies, tell her what she wants
you can't get sick because she's still
I didn’t privatize the apartment.” And don't forget
put on your brand new bulletproof vest with
lilac buttons.     - Remember
it's good that we have in the kingdom now
democracy, and therefore in no case
you cannot enter the elevator car with
strangers, coming close to
ownerless bags, as well as to bankers and
expensive cars. And don't forget how you are
in kindergarten they taught how to neutralize
land mines and avoid booby traps. - A-a, in
The mountains in Africa are this high,” she dragged on
in a thin, trembling voice, the girl
favorite song and left the apartment, with
with difficulty closing the heavy iron behind him
door.  Walking down the corridor, she called
elevator  There was no one in the elevator. There was
only one guy with a funny last name
Tickled.  But he didn't do anything wrong
Little Red Riding Hood, I just found out where she lives
grandma, and where does she hide the money?
to blackday.  Bye Little Red Riding Hood
took the elevator from the fifth floor to
first, a large kingdom-state, in
where she lived fell apart
many, many small ones, and transport
increased in price thirty times. Therefore, the girl
I had to sell some of the pies to
she had enough money for the trip. She was driving
drove until I reached the border
small state in which she lived
now her grandmother, after
a big one fell apart.  It was the state
not only small, but also proud, and
He didn’t need other people’s meat. And the pies
Little Red Riding Hood was just from the meat
stuffing.    Meanwhile it has already become
getting dark. Night was approaching. This night and
Little Red Riding Hood decided to cross the border at
rivers.  But she was detained by border guards for
illegal smuggling of meat in pies. K
Fortunately, the border guards turned out to be very
kind.  They took pity on the girl and let her go
it on all four sides. And they even returned it
her pies. They didn't return only the filling and
money.  Little Red Riding Hood walked down the street and
I cried bitterly with happiness that it was so easy
got off. - But of course, but of course, if
you're so lazy, if you're so timid,
stay at home, don’t go out, sobbing as you go,
the girl sang, encouraging herself.
Soon the house in which she lived appeared
grandmother.   Knocking on the door as it wasagreed, text of the latter in Morse code
songs of the group "Forbidden Drummers",
Little Red Riding Hood, to her surprise, did not
I heard no answer. What if grandma
already dead, she thought with horror
non-privatized apartment. She's already
I wanted to eat all the pies and go back
home, but remembered that I hadn’t pulled the
a rope.   She pulled the string
the door opened.  On the bed under
grandmother was lying on a blanket and scared
looked at Little Red Riding Hood. - Grandma, huh?
grandma, why are yours so big?
teeth?  After all, my grandmother didn’t have any
teeth, because it’s easier for her pension
put the teeth on the shelf rather than insert them
new ones,” asked Riding Hood slyly, missing
first two questions at once.  - This is to
eat your delicious pies - cleverly
answered the grandmother. - Grandma, and grandmother, and
why then are you so unshaven? - not
the girl calmed down, continuing to get
grandmother with his tactless questions. - Yes
because I'm not a grandmother, but angry and
terrible maniac Tickled - couldn’t stand it
Maniac Tickled, throwing back the blanket, and you even
can't you imagine that I will very soon
I'll do it for you, but in the meantime help me
dismember your grandmother. Little Red Riding Hood
carefully laid out the grandmother
tin cans, when suddenly,
unexpectedly,three people broke into the apartment
big, strong guys.  On their heads
They had black masks and guns in their hands.
Good hunters, thought Little Red Riding Hood
.They started randomly right from the doorway
shoot at everyone indiscriminately and kill the evil one
maniac Tickled.  After which they also
unexpectedly quickly disappeared. And with them
Grandma's silverware disappeared
antiques and money for a rainy day. Here,
as they say, the happy one came to the fairy tale
American end. Little Red Riding Hood alive
and returned home unharmed to her mother.
But everything could have ended much worse,
if Little Red Riding Hood had not listened
Mom wouldn’t wear her new one on the road
body armor with lilac buttons...