Auto - How I learned to drive a car.

 How I learned to drive a car

     How did I learn to drive? Very
I was just studying.  I went to driving school and was
attached to an instructor and studied, studied,
studied, just as the great Lenin bequeathed,
although he wasn't talking about cars at all.
     The instructor, by the way, was very caught
nervous Why do they hire people like that?
I don't understand.  You might think that I'm from him
screams and screams, I’ll remember faster - where is which
the pedal is located.  By the way, that's all from them
the problems began. What fool came up with this
do three pedals when a person has only
two legs?  What nonsense?  Well, let's say
professional organists with this
pretty easy to deal with.  They're not on
I'm used to pressing that much. And
I only had experience pressing the pedals
after playing drums for five years
installation, which could be taken seriously
understanding.  But the instructor, the club, everything
I couldn’t understand why I was using my left foot
I lead a light rhythm on the brake pedal, and
I tap eights on the gas with my right hand. I,
Of course, I agree that the car was moving
somehow jerkily, but he could show
at least some teaching talent!
For example, he would suggest that I do not
Deep Purple, and a lullaby.  The car would
moved much more smoothly.
     I still don’t understand what he was
so unhappy? I himand entertained with conversation,
and jokes, but he just sat with
with wide eyes and continuously swallowed
validol.  However, he took short breaks
did, during which he reported very
a lot of interesting information about me, my
mental abilities and driving style.
Let's say slander about my mental
abilities I could still survive. But caustic
comments about driving style - just
pissed off.  Who cares
my driving style? This is my style! I am so
I see the world around me and myself in this
iron box.  By the way, hitting
reverse gear into the trash cans
performed better than anyone in the group.
     This strange man was also outraged
the fact that I was constantly trying to start
already running machine. And I'm to blame for this
by the way, he was.   How can
determine whether the car is started or not?
Only by the sound of a running engine. A
I just got behind the wheel as an instructor
immediately began to yell, drowning out not only
a running engine, but also a car radio,
turned on at full volume. By the way,
He didn't like the music either. And me in
She calmed me down while driving.
 Then, the instructor had a strange
ability to distract me while driving
various trivial questions. He has
There was just some kind of mania to ask:
"Where is the main oneroad?" He lost this road
constantly. What do I have to do with it? You lost, you
and look for your main road. For me personally
The main road has always been where I go.
     They even drove him crazy
the most trivial things.  Here, for example,
I somehow stalled on the tram tracks. Yes,
stalled! What's wrong with that? Well start it right away
couldn't because the gas pedal
pumped, playing along with the flowing from
radio song.  But why be so nervous?
at the sight of an approaching tram? You can
think that the carriage driver is blind and not
sees the car.   She saw and even
tried to slow down.  And she has almost
it worked.    Just some kind of hook
the front door was slightly dented from the side
instructor.    But I apologized and
peacefully offered to consign this to oblivion
incident.  So can you imagine, this guy and
I didn't want to hear anything.  Yelled so hard that
you could calmly look into his
stomach.  These screams made me so nervous,
that he tried to start the car with the key
trunk  Of course it didn't go well
that this key broke right in the lock
ignition But when they say at hand, and not
you will do this.
     Where are these instructors trained?
I have no idea! How can you while driving
the city is constantly asking what it means
this or that sign that traffic cops
specially hung all overcity,
to annoy motorists?  He me
I was simply tormented by these signs.   What,
says means white triangle with
red border? How do I know that he
means.   Some kind of magical symbol
probably.  Masonic sign. However, no. I
I'm confusing something. Masonic sign is when
eyes are depicted inside the triangle.
     By the way, these traffic cops with their
signs - they are also decent scoundrels.  We
somehow we stopped at a turn, and there
there is this strange sign hanging on it
written in healthy letters in a foreign language
"STOP".   Good thing I studied
English and immediately guessed that the inscription
means "STOP TALKING". That is, enough is enough
chat while driving. By the way, I immediately
fell silent, and this instructor continued
chat like a magpie.  By the way, myself
doesn't follow its rules.
     In general, keep in mind that very
difficult to adapt to idiotic requests
instructor.    For example, he always
demanded that I drive sixty
kilometers per hour.   What the hell
sixty kilometers, when first -
we only rode for half an hour a day, and
secondly - such traffic jams on the streets! I
barely managed twenty kilometers
run over.     These are so impossible
requirements are made.  And you - spin like
you want.
     You should also have seenhow he squealed when
I got out of the traffic jam completely
free center line.   Where is the logic
you ask?  I made a dexterous, energetic
maneuver, avoided the traffic jam, and he yells again.
     In short, we are tired of each other -
simply terrible. I won’t lie, I had my own too
certain disadvantages.    For example, I
It was completely in vain to confuse the gas with the brake,
when I approached the wall. But I apologized!
And the small dent on the hood is not at all
was worth such strong expressions.
     The most unpleasant thing was that
that I never passed the exam. Moreover, again
through no fault of your own.  The examiner himself
guilty for standing too close to
car, and I drove around it a little
leg.   But use the service
position for personal purposes - ugly! I
just before that I scored 8 free throws
points out of ten. I still have two points
stayed, so this traffic cop kicked me out
right after I moved off his leg.
This was a personal attack on me,
which is completely unacceptable in official
relationships.    Of course I went
complain, but mine was on the commission
the instructor who was so nervous
when he saw me, he tried to take a sip
bit off half a glass of water.
     In general, I have some kind of painful
the feeling remained after this driving school.Non-professionals work there - I'm sure
I say.  Just don't think what it is
stopped me from buying a car. Nothing
similar!  I bought it and go. Without rights, but with
responsibilities.  By the way, traffic cops are on
street - quite sincere guys. I'm everyone
I explain that my wife went on a business trip and
specifically took away my license so that I would
I didn’t ride for girls. Believe it or not, almost everything
get into the situation and often don’t even get a fine
they take it.
     And in the fall I will definitely go to take it
on the right.   If colorblindness, of course,
I'll cure you.  By the way, I don’t understand why
Are there such restrictions for colorblind people?   Why
Can you distinguish colors at all?   If the bottom
The traffic light is on, which means you can go. If
upper, then you need to drive very carefully. A
on average you can’t pay attention at all
pay attention, since the traffic cops themselves are not aware
- why is it needed?