Attempts of writing - Poetry.

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(C) Bazhenov Alexander/Ze Pagan/PGC/BDA
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     From the series " ... To a stranger ..."

 * * *

       Languishing in the languor of anticipation
        In the darkness the star is sad.
        Shimmering, waiting for rebirth
      Day after day, keeping your heat.
       Cold light streams facelessly,
        Trying to create an illusion,
      Everything inside is bursting with screams,
       Which is hard to hold...

       But year after year it gets harder
        A star in an imaginary world,
         Self-deception as a panacea
         It certainly doesn't suit you.
     Your light is bright, but it does not warm,
       What will be the use of this?
         Sprinkled with ash smolders
          Eating myself a piece of coal...

        Throw away the far-fetched ban,
       Break such a painful veto.
        Realize that someone else is waiting
       Your heat of unbridled summer.
        Perhaps I don't understand everything
         And somehow he said something stupid,
        But I would light you back up
       And he drowned himself in fire...
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 * * *

        I understand your doubt:
         Fear of losing freedom
     But your fear seems to be in vain
        It prevents you from sleeping soundly.
       I'll start with what's not logical
         Call yourself free
        And extremely indecent
       To convince someone of this...

        Freedom... what is it?
         A mysterious impulse from the soul?
        The desire to throw off everything that was before,
          Burying yourself forever?
        Eking out such miserable freedom
         We only think about one thing:
       Quickly create to please yourself
    A faceless world and hide in it...

      Is it really possible to be free?
       Captured by fear, trembling all over?
       And walk away with a proud gait
         I can hardly breathe from lack of freedom.
        I knew one, I was looking for another.
         I tried to run, to fly away.
         I'm an imperfect person
       Born to die...
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 * * *

       Today I have a hard time
        Dress all thoughts in rhyme
      Doubt creeps into the soul
       And I don't know how to start...
        You said you couldn't
          Still can't understand me.
       Look, I'm going out of my way
       Trying to prove something...

       Believe me, there is such confusionI haven't experienced it for a long time.
        My soul seeks oblivion
         From now on it's unlikely to happen.
          The shaky boundaries have disappeared
         Long-suffering bustle.
        And a proud migratory bird
      You burst into my destiny...

         By chance or not,
       Nobody knows or will tell.
        Why look for an answer to everything?
      Our hearts will tell us everything themselves.
          Thin invisible thread
      What connected us so fragilely.
          We need to save it
      After all, we have a lot in common...

          I'll try to give you
       All that you have long forgotten
        Love, walks in the moonlight,
     But the main thing is that you love...
          I'm not asking you to love me
        Ridiculous, wild, reckless
      Unfortunately, it can't be like that
     Oh, God, how absurd life is!
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 ... About myself disgusting ...
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       I'm kind of strange today
           And I don’t recognize myself.
       Then I express myself at length,
          Then I close myself off and remain silent.
         Souls' rapid flight
      I try to restrain it, but in vain.
           She takes me there
    Where I'll probably have fun...

      I'm like a gloomy black raven
          Troublecalled and fell silent.
          I'm surprised and unhappy
        And the verse came out ugly.
      I wander through life as if in a fog,
        Always at odds with fate.
     And my sadness is like salt in a wound,
       It gnaws at me, but I endure...

        I'm doomed to wander forever
        Swallowing the dust of the big roads.
       Both a demon and an angel to me, of course,
          He will point silently beyond the threshold.
        Trying to find some meaning
          A meaningless existence.
      I'll be just one of many
      Who lived his life in vain...
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P.S. These works, as well as other
other literary research, use
possibleexclusively with the permission of the car
ra !!!
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