Dni-Pro #01 18 ноября 2000

Юмор

25 jokes - jokes about computers.

                              (GAME BOY)


               SUPERCOMPUTER


                   AT THE MOVIES


                   25 A characteristic feature
                 NOSTA computer until
                 Called at Hollywood

                       Movies


                In this article we present
characteristics of how it works

    computer in the western movies.

 1. Do editors do not have the cursor.

 2. Heroes movie very quickly Nabi rayut text, and never use
while the space key.

 3. Characters in the movie is never printed
with errors.

 4. On any monitor size of the letters are in
few centimeters.

 5. Supercomputers, which use
NASA and the CIA or other government
institutions always have a very simple
graphical user interface. If there is no graphical interface, 
the unit is used extremely powerful text shell, English 
literary conscious state (such shell provides access to any 
necessary information, it is worth something to collect, like 
"Get access to secret files" at first got the keyboard).


 6. In order to infect a computer destructive virus, just
type on the keyboard "Download virus
(See "Fortress").

 7. All computers are connected.

 8. All panel work under stress at 1000 volts and have mounted 
explosive device. 

 9. On your computer crashes, you will learn in a bright
flash, smoke, a fountain of sparks and an explosion that will 
throw you against the computer few meters.


 10. After typing the computer can be
simply turn off without saving the data.

 11. A hacker can hack into the most abrupt
protection ugodav your Password from the second time.

 12. You can bypass the message "Failure in
Access is by using the "ignore".

 13. Any computer boots up no more
than 2 seconds.

 14. Complex calculations and loading of large
volumes of data completed no more than
for 3 seconds.

 15. Modems in the movies usually transmit data at speeds of at 
least 2 gigabytes per second. 

 16. When the main computer overheats
nuclear power plant or a missile base, all the control panel, 
burn, followed by the explosion of the building. 

 17. If you view the file as it who
Something is deleted, the file disappears from the screen.

 18. If the floppy disk is encrypted
files, once you insert it into the drive, and you will 
immediately be prompted for a password. 

 19. Computers can communicate with each other regardless of who
they produced and in which the galaxy (film
"Independence Day"). All systems have
the same standard interface. Thus,
using a notebook you can find the PIN-code credit card (the 
film "Terminator 2"). 

 20. Any floppy disk to read on any computer equipped with a 
floppy drive, any programs run on any platform. 

 21. The better the computer, the more
his buttons. At the same time work on this
computer would require a very professional operator, as the 
buttons There are no labels, except for the buttons 
"Self-destruction." 

 22. Most computers, even the most
small, capable of playback realistic three-dimensional 
animation giant iteraktivnoy Permits with photo-realistic color 
depth. 

 23. Laptops can always operate in full-screen videophone, in 
real time and have an incredible performance. 

 24. When the characters are looking at a monitor,
image is so bright that is projected on their face.

 25. Search the Web vegda gives you exactly what you're looking 
for, regardless of whether how common keywords you specify

(For example, in the film "an impossible task," Tom Cruise 
asked the search for According to the "file" and "computer", 
then got 3 links).