Echo #01 31 октября 1996

Юмор

Fun - Description ESNNS (Uniform Standard for soviet sysop).

And here is pretty old, but very funny text. Meanwhile,
who have not yet read it, especially the fans modem connection, 
it will hopefully take a couple of pleasant moments. 



                         Description ESNNS

                         -------------

             (Unified standards on soviet sysop)



1. General Provisions

1.1 This standard is designed to detect the total mass of 
specific individuals who have received the scientific name of 
sysops [ SysOp - an exact translation of this word is unknown 
to us, but shall us that this is a medical term].


1.2 Persons satisfying this formal document prepared for life 
the title or sysop Psisop [see below]. 



2. Characterization

2.1 General condition

- Unshaven (continuing in the same degree)
- Beer (substitute - lemonade)
- Mayonnaise (in store)
- Cats (under the bed)
- Non-standard understanding of the word "It"

- First thought when a friend request to write to him on the 
tape something from the world of classical music - "Damn, it is 
another hour format :-(". 

- Reaction to the word TOWER - , <Enter>.
Option for GoldED -  <R>  <M>.
- Has an unhealthy reaction to the word "general"
- Are absent any notion of time, chicle, day of the week
mecyatse ...


2.2 Must

- Snap with the codeword "ATS"
- Awake to hear the subway phrase "hendsheyk faylyure"
- Nostalgically to perceive the word Bowhill
- Wide open eyes at the sight of rows CONNECT 17689/VOICE
- Talk at the same time in a tube "ATDP03 |"
- Understand that DZ - this is not the initials, and the 
diagnosis, that KGB is alive healthy, and always with us!

- Be able to squeak at least for 1200
- Not to be confused with the answer whistle V23


2.3 Specific actions

- Before opening the door double-clicks <ESC>
- All sorts of attempts to immediately extinguish the flame
- Tells his wife when she goes to sleep: "Here is one note to 
finish reading, and come ..." - Inscription on the stalls 
reads: "Ludmila - Your RELIABLE COMPRESSED Partner

- Sometimes goes to a military department to study rockets


2.4 Special features

- Inexplicably wants to eat at half past three in the morning. 
As in rest of the time. :)

- Red eyes (the sysop:)
- Swollen fingers (moved down the roof pinched ...)
- A permanent desire spaaaa-ah-ah-ah-............... at 
Condition almost stable since sleeps fitfully, and within sight 
of komputera. Wakes up every half hour and anxiously looking at 
the screen - not a glitch .... - Sharply raised, heard the hiss 
of a passionate carrier'a - Graduated from the institute, 
forgets to take a diploma 


2.5 Dreams

- Modem to 115200 and communication with everyone around the 
clock and without a single Error

- To get naked Santa sheepskin Mules firm with payment by fax

2.6 Unconditional reflexes

- When he hears a joke type ':)'
- After the phone call all the time trying to press Alt + Q, 
Alt + X or Esc, depending on the picture on the screen 
blizhlezhaschego computer 

- The recruitment of long-distance telephone number after the 
number 8 seconds waiting, saying in his head Wwwwwww ....; if 
busy, then considers four BUSY, and only then clicks on the 
reset 


2.7 innermost desires

- In the morning: sleep
- Evening: a cup of coffee
- Continuously: USR HST 14400e, cigarettes, lots of floppy 
disks, hyphae, sleep, 486 - rare: cory, format, ie, to explain 
something - Never: wash, shave, get married



3. Classification SysOr s

Sysop with strong psychic potential is called Psisop. The main 
differences from the normal (meaning sysop:): willpower catches 
busy and loses carrier (once all hold no obtained), the modem 
is very responsive to it and worked out a conditional reflex: 
the words "connect, bitch !!!!" responsible CONNECT 2400, and 
the phrase "right now ... [let it be hrenaknetsya]" - NO 
CARRIER. 

Represents one of the varieties of zombies - as soon as the 
chief says echidna voice code phrase "here account for 
Intercity come ...", also deletes itself, or falls into a rage 
(Also the variant "tower"). May also be cheerfully answered (in 
Depending on the interests of the head): 

1) Fresh AIDSTEST the source
2) BC + + 3.0
3) Ehi commercial and added: "directly rocked, here!".


Notes:
---------
This document is an official and binding ispolneniya throughout 
Scoop [options: CIS CCCR]. 

For the development of this document was created a special 
department by developing uniform standards for shovels sisopov 
consisting of: Gleb Mitin, Mikel Lavrentyev, Igor Grischenko, 
Vadim Gerasimov, Harry Nikolayev, Fyodor Ustinov, Gosha 
Zafievsky, Roman Trunov, Sasha Vishnevetsky, Oleg Mazurow, 
Nicolas Rodionov, Asy Patrysheva, Andrey Filimonov, Igor 
Kaminskiy. 

--- GEcho / beta
* Origin: The student MIREA - a diagnosis! (2:5020 / 48.6)