Nicron #82 31 марта 1998

Юмор

Humor - What is a programmer.

What is a programmer


  The programmer is equipped with the keyboard. Keyboard for 
programmers breech. He hews. If the programmer does not hammer, 
then he or asleep or dead. Do not batter the programmer can 
not. Because Keyboard always outweigh. When the programmer 
hammer, then around the sound. If loud - it means that a good 
programmer. If quietly - bad, worthless programmer.


  Another programmer chews. Do not chew the programmer is not 
able to. A good programmer chew whenever possible. Nezhuyuschy

Software programmer is a false and usually
revealed by onomu property.

  Eats chips programmer. Chips he likes to be witty. Often
end chips. Then the programmer goes on with condensed milk
baguette.

   Its condensed milk and a loaf of programmer does not give. 
Growls and shouting obscenities in an incomprehensible 
language. Eat right for computer and smear the entire computer 
condensed milk. After this computer does not work. Then the 
programmer screams that nick mazday foreva and always full of 
Cook. However, if you give him a new computer - it calms down.


  The programmer can jump on the keys as deftly as a sailor
with bramselya on the bowsprit. Skillfully riding programmer 
Rides no less than an hour, everything hangs and hangs for two 
hours. The view from the programmers always negative.


   Strong programmer can batter for two. Giant
Programmer (in nature is not found) can zadolbit
a small elephant.

  Synchronous programmers are found only in Australia and work
pairs, links, etc., up to a regiment. Birthday
Programmers - Friday. Portable programmer dose - 250
decibels, or 40 X-ray, or 150 volt, or 4 kicks.

    In the liter jar programmer is impossible to drown.
Programmer-reanimation, made of reinforced concrete on a scale
32:1, is the best monument to Bill Gates. 200
programmers, glued back to back in a single
panels, a luxurious sight.

  Spanish programmer is the only temple in the world
this nezhuyuschim programmer, and his computer, according to
belief, can be dispersed over three quarters.

   Living programmer differs from the usual temperature and
serviceability. Underground programmers hammering in full
dark, eyes closed, from memory. Their ancestors were
daffy programmers who worked on the UCS.

  Separate form of mad programmers do not exist, but
the number of those in any population - 77%. Pink singing
programmer, as well as his dancing version, found in
mainly in places where users.

  Almost all urban programmers - disposable with plastic
keyboards 9 * 12 and variable geometry of fingers. Industrial
Pneumatic programmer is still a matter of controversy among
users. In particular, it questioned his ability to
reproduction, although in Biisk so-called "breakers"
programmers sit in huge quantities on all the trees
around employment centers and even enjoy some
civil rights, along with parrots. The main
programmers of all kinds of food is soaked saliva
dolbanina software. We also describe attacks
Programmers bags with software and barrels of beer. Each other
programmers tend to disdain. Conflicts
programmers with people are rare, but should beware of Biysk
temechkovogo programmer, whose victims are the elderly
users who neglect panamkoy. The flight speed of the
Programmer - 340 kilobytes per second, it leads to runtime
error, is not afraid of screaming and always carries it 
through. Full Time opposed to it - serene downy programmer

lives, usually in the bush and lilies of the valley nezabudok. 
He, essence, not a programmer, as is for life

sitting down, because of what his fingers were fused, forming 
Kultyapka and keyboard has only the bottom half (joystick 
dandy). Feeding begging him to various cartridges with game.


  Pronounced hierarchy among programmers is not observed, 
although great programmer can easily zadolbat fine. In the case 
of external threat to the colony of programmers do not properly 
studied until distinguishes itself from the chief, and defends 
under his leadership. After the threat of such a programmer is 
becoming as called a sysop, and leaves the colony.


  Term maturity programmer - two weeks after
hit the floor head. Little programmer sitting quietly and eating
all it serves. The main error of programmers - geymovy
overfeeding, because of which many are dying and have been 
unable get out the young programmers.


  Handheld Software - a phenomenon as rare as the foot,
because the programmer can be tamed only three now
Neglected old words. Home Software store
wrapped in a soft cloth and software for the careful handling
does not awake.

  In ancient times in Russia the programmers were in ASUPovskih 
baths walking hangers punched, pounded and ukvashenye

programmers decorated any collection and a rare beauty
two-headed programmer served as the prototype of our present
Coat of Arms. And the last. If at some carnival you will put
programmer - you are waiting for fame, success and great luck 
in love. 

Recommended Reading:
1. "Commissioners of software." M., 1962.
2. "Our little digging." Detgiz, 1956.
3. "Programmer against a tank." Military Publishing, 1982.
4. "Goosey with the clave". M., Eros, 1994.