Nicron #20 14 февраля 1997

Юмор

Humor - State man, history.

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               State man

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(R) MDF HACKER
The author is not known


So far in Britain there are many curious customs and laws. One 
of them our story. Any married couple, having lived more than 
four years and have not borrowed children is eligible for a 
fee, to invite the public to assist her husband in such a 
difficult and delicate family trouble. And so, themselves in a 
difficult position, one couple decided to exercise his right. 
Rastroenny spouse before leaving for the work, reminded his 
wife that day should come State husband and asked her to behave 
decently. By pure coincidence, in the same house a happy father 
with many children of the family who lived next door, invited 
him to a house photographer - Specialist shooting children. 
Being very absent-minded man, photographer, mixed flat. - Good 
afternoon, miss. - Do not have words, sir, I I know. - Your 
husband told you that I should come. - Yes, I'm ready. - Y, if 
so, before proceeding to the case, I would like to offer you 
all the options, in which we work. - I hear you, sir. - Of the 
most effective ways As shown, the best are the following: 
standing, lying down, in the bathroom. - In the bathroom? - 
Yes, ma'am. Do not hesitate to experiment, let me show you an 
album with my work. Here's this kid I made on the roof of the 
bus. - How, on the roof of the bus, when all the people? Oh, 
God! - Yes, ma'am, this is the whim of the mother. But this 
child I did in the cabinet department. - In the showcase? In 
the eyes of the entire public? - What can we do, ma'am? His 
mother was a movie star and it was necessary to advertise. He 
showed her a few work with such comments. When finished 
running, the photographer took two pieces of cotton wool, and 
began shoving them into his nostrils. Excuse me, mister, why do 
it? - Not stand the smell of burnt rubber. Let's start in the 
bathroom. - Well, well. - One minute, I need to take tripod.


What tripod? Oh my God! And this is why? -
You see, ma'am, the machine is so heavy that in his hands
difficult to keep. And then she fainted. Scared and
bewildered photographer jumped from an apartment, taking their 
equipment. And after a while the statesman on the landing 
collided with a happy mother of many children family, was 
waiting for the photographer. - Good afternoon, ma'am! It is 
you make a single call? - Yes, Mr. - I must say that despite 
all my skill and diligence, a single call is usually enough; 
need to issue a call next week. - Well, follow your advice. 
Where is your unit? - Madam, you are very witty woman in 
London. Of course, with me! - Excuse me, I have not noticed. 
Usually people of your profession, he catches the eye. - You 
insult me, Madam. Here's a look, madam. Data of my device 
measured from the mayor. 

I assure you, it works well. - Excuse me, mister, I
poorly versed in technology. My husband has not once asked a 
neighbor to help the amateur, but together they do not have the 
right. - How Madam? After all, fans of our profession will be 
prosecuted. Not be afraid, no amateurs can not compete with our 
employees. - I am grateful to you and let's get started to the 
case. If I enjoy your efforts, I am your permanent client. - Do 
not worry, madam, I have a great experience. In lists of my 
clients two hundred people and no complaints. - I hope your 
efforts. Let's start with the bathroom. I have already ordered 
the cook water. - You intriguete me, madam. 

And then continue in the nursery, in an armchair on 
parovozike.Kak, ma'am? More than three I can not. - Yes, you, I 
hear about it the first time. My friend has a master to fill 
all orders in a single call. She had 15 items. - Sorry, but you 
have the wrong information. In our firm there is no such 
specialists. Even if I cancel the remaining challenges, and 
even then I can not provide more than 6 positions. But it is 
within my capabilities. - You are what brought one device? In 
the wizard, who was my friends, hanging two apparta: front and 
side. - You put in misleading, madam. Science unknown such 
phenomena. - Stop, please, I beg you better get started. Remove 
the device and get down to business. - Well, ma'am, "he said 
and professionally folded clothes. - Oh, God! - She cried and 
fell into the swoon ...