Kosme #00 30 апреля 2001

Юмор

Gamlїt, Prince Datsky - Ukrainian Hamlet.

                            dmn [pcb]



               Gamlїt, Prince Datsky

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   Beach. Chuti rozbeschenni cries morskih

   ptahiv, revinnya morzhiv and takozh inshi sounds iz
   davaїmiї rўznoyu morskoyu svolotoyu. On the beach

   vihodit Gamlїt, Prince Datsky, odyagnenny in

   zruchnu tovstovku th takў samў parusinovў pants.

   Gamlїt krasўvo pўdperezany vuzkim shkўryanim singing
   Scoma. Vўn bosy, bearded ¢ potsavaty. In the hands of

   a nogo stout dryuchok.

Gamlїt:

       - Yak ostopizdilo bathe menў. Chi Mauger ўs
   bathe? Kupat numbers do not bathe? Blyadskў tsў

   Power zayabuyut. That Mauger Warta not vagayas, SPU
   Stith at once that Stani baterflyaїm huyariti, already Pokey

   for the buoys in the eyes of not potemnўї? Well, Zgoda? 
About to    slўdkў mozhlivў not think about it? One leash tўlkў 
times ¢ 

   vzhe fucking stealing is svoїyu usmўshkoyu hizhoy.

   Colds, hemorrhoids, chiryak on sratsў, vўd syringe n
   mat lўkarў and zreshtoyu th sire grave ... On

   nўy Ofelўya Dirty, smelly that Kupka daisies. ¡The

   napis: here lezhit that fraїr, scho lyubiv bathe.

   Nў, takўї varўanti їbav I ¢ in the mouth of the nose.


   ¢ Gamlїt harkaї at sea ¢ Yogo dryuchkom beat the shit out of.

   Pўdhodit Klavdўy, htivy Uncle Prince.

Klavdўy:

   - Mon cher GamlЇt! Hodўmo in kabўnїt. Tsukerku Ladies

   tobў I posmoktati. Tsukerka ochїn very best, Tuzўk

   delicious.


   Klavdўy ogidno plyamkaї lips ўzobrazhaya wonderful

   nehuyovy Tuzўk. At the same mit is sea Vilasi

   Privid in Brudno prostiradlў.

Privid:

   - Do not vўr, mўy sine, tsomu pўdorasu. Tsukerku that

   tobў vўn vstromit in the ass.

Klavdўy: Ah-ah-ah-ah!

        Tўkaї.

Privid:

   - From Bach, zlyakavsya, yobany stsўkun. Vўn obўstsyav

   mene to polyuvannў, if I mўtsno surfactants. Pўdstupnoyu

   hand vўn ear spryamuvav Brudny dick. ¡The

   skotsapizdilo moї perfectly tўlo deadly

   gangrene. Pomsti want! Pobachit qiu padlyuku on

   parashў for groyu in pўvnika is negolenim ubivtsey,

   Abo in kontorў crappy ўnzhenerom, a subscriber in yurtў 
cancer 

   on pўdlozў Tatari shob Yogo їbali in the ass!

Gamlїt:

   - No one can retaliate. Povinnў mi loves vsўh

   pўdorasўv, zlodўev, ubivts. Bo is a skin them -

   ¢ bogonostsў people.

Privid:

   - That Mauger T ¢ m'yasa not Thou?

Gamlїt:

   - Nў, I do not eat m'yasa printsipovo. I tўlki vipit

   ўnodў love, bo mi nation wide lounge ¢ ¢

   vipiti mi can Doha. Much bўlshe any

   ўnorodtsўv, zhidўv that basurman.

Privid:

   - Huyova fashion. Probzdўlos schos have Datskomu

   knyazўvstvў ... Kolў I LUVs king їbav I vsўh

   bogonostsўv have kupў is Leo Tovsty. But the chain,

   konїchno in smislї pїrїnosnom. But pўdorasўv is

   dїtstva not lyubiv, slit ex posilav on hўmўyu їboshit

   for the benefit of Batkўvschini. About Chasi about Danўya 
neschasna! 

Gamlїt:

   - Wee, old man, there prividom vzhe zovsўm zaїbali.

   Schos snitch, scho no prostsyati ¢ per tsўly tyzhden.

   I told you scho avenge not possible, more people vsў -

   chain Bratt on zemlў, okrўm zhidўv, tatarўv, negrўv,

   bўlorusўv that I nenavidzhu. In tsўlomu I'll

   gumanўst, not the scho form, papa. You tўlki bi

   gorўlki plant is the nurse at bўdnu pechў їbati, already

   Dim ўz Hati yde. A potўm tea posorbati ¢ kidati

   sokiru in paralўzovanu Baboon in unўtaza chobўtmi

   huyarit ¢ as many other huynў for you

   zamўchav me. Navўscho you svogo sibling

   slabkўshogo for you zdorov'yam, primushuvat lysate

   mўnїt you? From vўn ¢ їbanuvsya, bўdolashny, ¢ chain

   not surprising. Well, my mother, bўdna, nenavidўla you, I Yak

   zhidўv. Me Well, Xinca good, loved ¢ frequently

   pesto. And I set her gravel from chicken that pўvnika.

   Wee, Dad, your cunt is the sea hutchўshe, Bo I

   dryuchkom pereїbu. Schї ¢ nd uncle will call him next section

   Thus such pўzdyulїy you ponakladaїm, sho Danўya

   zdrignetsya.

Privid:

   - Suchўy sine, huyovy premature baby! So on Dad!

   Taku garbage show! Chom vtopiv not I tell you in malaf'e

   Jak Ty after giving birth? Chom not putting his head in an 
ass ¢ 

   choking? From kurvyacha sўmeyka! Zazhdi and y mene!


   Privid drown in morў.

Gamlїt:

   - Papa blyadskўy, a board zaїbali. Pўti that

   vipit shampanyoli in the bar, more in rotў atoms quotations

   ponastsўkali ¢ svўdomo not want lysate rough

   Yazikov garachў Zubi ...


   Gamlїt leave walrus roar, nmax scream sea

   shumit.



   At stsenў zboku stoet Royale Stўnvey. At nomu

   lie sprat. In the middle of the stage stoet velichezne

   katsapske krўslo, pozbavlene whether yakogo

   artists relish. Coat over him visit

   natsўonalny. At gerbў zobrazheno Vedmed. In odnўy

   rutsў Vedmed sickle in drugўy balalaika. Tse

   simvolўzuї pratselyubnўst ¢ nezakompleksovanўst

   tvaryuki. In krўslў sidit Margaret, mother Gamlїta

   ¢ vishivaї komўrets kosovrotochkў. Won naspўvuї

   rusopyatsku pўsnyu "Kamarўnskuyu. Nepomўtno,

   m'yakoyu hodoyu fag, enter Klavdўy, htivy

   Uncle Prince.

Klavdўy:

   - Sogodnў I was walking on vzmor'ї is your Syncom

   beautiful. I konhvetu ochїn good, tasty, їmu

   to give, but he took nї, mudўla.

Margarita:

   - What a weirdo, їy god ...

Klavdўy (himself to himself):

   - I viїbu Yogo.
(To Margaret):

   - Konhveta Tuzўk ochїn nї huyova.

Margarita (lagўdno):

   - Beshketniku ...

Klavdўy:

   - Chimos bzdit have kabўnetў, nenachї htos shit

   nechўstoplotno! Vўdkriyte hvortku, Hami, dwellers

   probzdўlos.



   Pўdskochivshi two Hama shirts ¢ Chobot

   shvidenko vўdkrivayut hvortku ¢ to her in the same

   mit vlўtaї Privid.

Privid:

   - Yeah, padlyuki! Vsўm Skydan pants stavati

   cancer! Right now you pўzdets bude, zlivayte water

   yobanў Masons chi yak you there.


   Klavdўy, Margarita ¢ Hami shvidko vikonuyut Mandate

   Privida, yakўy wildly regochї ¢ lўtaї on kabўnїtu.

Klavdўy:

   - Mўy Privide, nўyakoe huynў not robim mi. By vsўm

   zhidomasonam ўspituїm malice hatred ¢ ¢ each

   Day natsўonalnў gўmni on balalaytsў chorus

   ўspolnyaїm. Afraid of us that zhidi basurmani, prestўzh

   krїpchaїt powerfully vozrastaїt dїn by day percentage

   fats have maslў. Dovolnў Hami sitў in ex їbala.

   Much less has been pўdorasўv, їboshat vsў stink

   yak Pope Carlo hўmўe in ​​Cherkasov. Lўsbўyankў -

   usў Solovki.


   Include Gamlїt. Vўn p'yany in the ass. In odnўy rutsў y

   Yogo dryuchok have drugўy shampanskї.

Privid:

   - Be surprised, mўy Sin, Vice - zhidomasoni. Tee zapizdyach

   dryuchkom pechўntsў it on, then mїnї dolozhish. Shaw does not

   clear?

Gamlїt:

   - Dad, vso, at best vўdї, nї volnuytїs.


   Gamlїt snitch usўh dryuchkom: beat the shit out of the coat 
of arms is 

   vedmedЇm, potўm zalivaї shampanskoї in piano ¢

   sprats zapuskaї tudi there. ¡The snitch on the piano

   dryuchkom. Royal Hood.



Privid:

   - Mўy sinusoid, then the piano, not zhidi, Yogo no need

   Cunt. For currency Yogo I kupuvav.

Gamlїt:

   - I ¢ Їbav piano ¢ currency ¢ vsўh zhidўv.


   Gamlїt snitch Privida dryuchkom. Privid padaї. On

   the floor lay the body, popizhzhenў Gamlїtom. In royalў

   quietly plavayut sprat. Include Zўgmund Freud. Yogo

   eyepiece taїmnicho blischat have temnotў.


Gamlїt (potihenku pochinaї tvereziti):

   - Ўtogў podvїdom. Upizdiv tata. ¡The nurse

   zapizdyachiv is rўdnim uncle. Popizdiv mїbїl

   valuable, emblem natsўonalnogo huynuv. Usyudi death

   rozruha. I will not bўlshe piti I Hoch, however, yak

   Rozumnyj tsomu alternatўva? Pўzdets vsїm

   spodўvannyam. Ex, blyadska Danўya ....


   Gamlїt pit on sobў tovstovku ¢ quietly graї Moosic,

   priїmny voice spўvaї "Yabluchko. Zўgmund Freud

   pўdhodit to Gamlїta, kolit Yogo in asshole syringe

   ¢ divert to bozhevўlnogo home.

   At stsenў z'yavlyayutsya seven matrosўv in zhahlivih

   nintendo jackets. Pўsnya "Yabluchko" Peremozhne

   to grow. Pўd veselў sounds "Yabluchka" Sailor

   movchki vўdbivayut chochotku.