Energy #03 09 апреля 1997

Юмор

in bed - 1000 and a joke.

               In bed



  Children under sixteen are not encouraged to read! (Ed.)


    Opening remarks to the article says "DEMON".


                                 (C) Demon


         1000.1 (and one) funny.
__________________________________________


     Spring has come (to whom?), Birds
Arrived (what for?) - all in order
things. Passed on April 1, but seeing
someone with a white back, we reluctantly
realized that many of us still do not know how or
can not (and probably will not) funny
joke. Such a move, we could not, and
decided to remind everyone a few old
good jokes to the next first
April you already had something in reserve.

     For example, a very nice look
national joke: "You UNL spina
white-red-white! ".

     However, if you've heard something about
white-blue-red back, it does not mean
that we are not a monarchist. This means
that some other prankster smeared you
toothpaste Aquafresh.

     But do not think that you can joke
just you. Jokes director, teachers, and
even ... machinists meter (meter - in
sense of the underground). However, their humor is not
rises above roughly trimmed
phrase: "Beware, two ...".


     And another very useful tip. In
transport is better not to joke with the drivers
(Dangerous) and not with the controllers (expensive), and
with girls (...). For example, you sit in
crowded trolley, but close
rises such (!!!) girl. And You
black humor cheeky notice:
"Girl, I'd love exchanged
Your Place ".


     Whoever does not understand, read again.

     Yes, by the way about the girls! .. Okay, it's
quite inappropriately. In short, read on.
Goodbye, goodbye!



       Some like it ... pogryaznee.


     Passion - a terrible thing. At that
only incapable men jerking
passion. Especially love - sexual.
It is no secret that every now and sex
sweet couples in a rush to forget about
all there fake "paws"
"The Sun", "rybonki" and the soul
obkladyvayut each other most selective
abuse, which probably gave rise to the saying:
"Lovely curse - just gratifying."
Look at the other, a humble life
a girl at a time and makes sure that
It is not just teshitsya and drags and mleet,
listening to wrestle her lover and rdeya while
of pleasure rather than shame. AND
that too is a pleasure to "let off steam"
in the form of two or three so-called dirty
words directed at the right time. Does not advocate
for this kind of communication, yet we dare to give
some advice to those who catch on
this high.


     Note: as a literary
Russian language, unlike, say,
English more "pinched" and abusive
expressions are unprintable vocabulary,
then by reading the following, strains
accordingly their imagination.



     We should start to find out
deliver a dirty expression
enjoy the one to whom they are addressed.
Chaste if she is a saint, or
nasty, like a whore? Determine this
quite simple: the first can be identified by
long gently - blue apparel under the
skirt underwear line
interest in the nth sum.



     Choose dirty little words have to
all tchatelnostyu. "Mop," "snake"
"Stupid", "carrion" tzhe of its kind
curses, but in bed they are unlikely
will work.



     We can say: "That's tits! On
are all of my sperm is not enough! "Do not
recommended: "What's that for mad cow
udders? Look sick. "



     Partner will be pleased to hear of
your address, "rubbish" rather than "trash."



     At some point, any woman
may also, forgetting the grafted mom
modesty, to exclaim: "Come on,
fuck me properly. "Literally
sense it means: "Either you bastard,
finally did it, or I for myself do not
answer ... "



     If the partner is voluptuous moans:
"Hurry, hurry," then it actually
has in mind: "Hurry up or I'll miss
at Santa Barbara. "



     If she languidly repeating: "Oh, what a
will he a big, "then in reality
have in mind: "Damn, you've already pierced
through me! "



     You should be careful in your fantasy
and avoid talking about those who
it is quite possible to implement. On the question
beloved: "Admit it, who would you
wanted to have sex? "should not be responsible:" From
your sister. "It is better to say:" With Sharon
Stone ".



     You can say something like: "I
like to look at your shameless ass when you bend over and 
turned up panties. "Not so good:" Oh, yes you,

I'll look again appeared on his face acne, so it becomes 
cancer. " 



     You should not give stupid
scary tone to his voice. If we are
woman wants to be dirty berated, then
the right person with whom she wanted
go to bed, and not with a fake villain
from bad movies.



     It is recommended to use "dirty lyubovnolaskatelnymi 
catchwords only during sexual pleasures. Not recommended to get 
used to eat them when it came, at every step. How

permissible reward partner on the bed
epithet of "trash", "bitch" or "slut"
as irrelevant to those definitions
during a family dinner with her respected
parents.



     Recommendation girls: do not forget
that all of this - just an innocent game, so
should not be mad if suddenly seem
that the partner is mixed, with whom he is in
bed, and blurted out something like: "What
Like a peasant lying around, you, a nun
lascivious?



     You should not promise what is not on
forces do, but remember that in the case
sudden death (literally)
partner will serve as a clue words "I
exhaust you to death. "



     You can say: "I will bind you and will
tear through the night. "It is not necessary
say: "I will bind you and all night
long'll fight another group. "



     Legal: "Now I will break your
Panties directly to you. "Do not:" I am now
tear your dress from Dior (leather
coat, a mink coat and so on). "
Incidentally, the advice to girls: if a partner
precisely because of those who uncovers women's thighs
no other way than ripping panties, you better
careful not to put those
subsequently will be sorry to tears, and those that
have long been used almost in place
rag to wipe the dust.



     Do not go too far.
Stop before you say: "... and
Then I divided you into pieces and set fire to
his apartment. "



     And finally, the last one. Remember
that behave in a bed with a woman as
gross and unclean animals was not
means to make love, being
unwashed for weeks. It's just
sophisticated game for experienced in sex
adult and sane people who are capable
play it by mutual consent, not
bringing each other up resentment.

P.S. Last advice to girls
(Radical): frequently in a certain moment
the man asked: "Well, you have not
finished? "answers" no ", even if it is
obkonchalis, and then have fun looking,
as he continues to try my best.
However, this game is recommended to play
Only those whose genitals have a protective
non-stick Teflon coating.



  Boris Muradov and a group of fellow women
based on personal experience and the borrowed.
Material provided by the newspaper "I'm young."


                Text typed Sergei Sturm.