Deja Vu #01 30 июня 1997

Юмор

Seven and 1 / 2 - shoot yourself in the foot (lead programmer).

According to the magazine KM-INFORM # 2'feb. '97
Editor: ALEX INJECTOR.


         Shoot yourself in the foot ...
__________________________________________


                  *


    The rapid proliferation of modern languages
programming (which seems to be just
vzaimstvuyut each other countless innovations) leads to the 
fact that it is sometimes hard to remember what language you 
are currently using. 

    This handy guide is proposed
for general use in order to help
programmers, when faced with such a
problem.


    OBJECTIVE: To shoot yourself in the foot.


    C: You shoot yourself in the foot.


    C + +: You accidentally create a dozen instances of "you" 
and all of them to sweep the leg. Urgent Care appears to be 
impossible, since you can not figure out where the real 
objects, and where - those who only point them

and say: "But - I am!".


    FORTRAN: You shoot interactively each toe, and when his 
fingers zakanchivayutsya, you load the next leg and continue. 
When the bullets run out, you still keep trying to shoot 
yourself in the foot because we do not have the capacity to 
handle a particular situation. 


    Pascal: The compiler does not give you
shoot yourself in the foot.


    Ada: After a thorough description of the package
'Foot' you are trying to simultaneously charge
pistol, pull the trigger, scream and shoot yourself in the 
foot. In the course of attempts to found, however, that you 
failed, since your leg was the wrong type.



    Cobol: Bridging GUN COLT 45 per
NOGA.STOPA, then put on RUKA.KIST.PALETS PISTOLET.KRYUCHEK and 
press. Then return the gun in his holster. CHECK

Are your shoelaces need to relink.


    LISP: You shoot yourself in the process,
who keeps a pistol, with which you shoot yourself in the 
process, which is holding a gun with which you shoot yourself 
in the process, which is holding a gun with which you shoot 
yourself in the process, which is holding a gun with which you 
shoot yourself in the process, which is holding a gun with 
which ... 


    Forth: The foot you shoot yourself.


    Prolog: You tell your program
that you want to have the perforated leg.
Program is developing a way to achieve this, but the syntax of 
the language can not explain to you this way. 


    BASIC: You shoot yourself in the foot of the
water pistol, and enhanced implementation of the language 
continues until the entire lower part of the body does not get 
wet. 


    Visual Basic: In fact, you'll
just look as if your leg
shot in. However, in the process of implementing
you get so much pleasure that these little things you do not 
care to. 


    HyperTalk: Put the first bullet pistol in the left foot 
you. Notify result.



    Motif: You spend a few days
at CONSTRUCT UIL - the description of your legs,
bullet, its trajectory, and the intricate carving
ivory on the handle of a pistol.
At last when you govern and ready to pull the trigger, the gun 
blocked. 


    APL: You shoot yourself in the foot, then spend all day on 
it to pass away themselves, how to do it with fewer characters. 


    Snobol: If you succeed, shoot
his left leg. If you do not succeed,
shoot yourself in the right leg.


    Unix:
 % Ls
 Foot.c foot.h foot. o toe.c toe.o
 % Rm *. O
 Rm:. O no such file or directory
 % Ls
 %


    Parallel Euclid: You shoot
imagine someone else's leg.


    Job control language IBM/370: You
send your foot in the control information system with the 
application document 400 pages, describes exactly how you want 
to be shot through. three year, your foot comes back with a deep

burn.


    Paradox: Not only can you shoot yourself in the foot, but 
your users. 


    Access: You are trying to aim at your foot, but after sweep
All Borlandovskie distribyutivnye floppy.


    Revelation: You think you can
shoot yourself in the foot, once dismantled, what are these 
little cute bullets. 


    Assembler: You try to shoot
his leg, but discover that before
you will have to invent the gun, bullet,
hammer and your leg.


    Modula-2: Once you realize that you actually can not do 
anything in this language, you shoot yourself head.



    Transact-SQL: Trying to shoot yourself
right foot, you tosses her head,
removing it from the back of a hand holding a gun, shoot, and 
the result is hole in the left leg.


END ...