Acid Paper #02

Самиздат

Worlds "If" - his version of probability "of the Worlds."

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                        - - [Worlds "If"]



    Caught once we saw a story by Stanley Weinbaum
under the name "Myra" If. ​​"There's a hero quite simply 
playing with time, remaining as a result of the nose. We are 
not science fiction, therefore offer you my version of the 
World. " 

■ If your balance does not come immediately, so it is a mistake.

  Consequence: if the balance is converged error - two.
■ If the patient has a tooth removed to loud music, the doctor 
is absolutely 

  does not feel pain.
■ If a man had wings, they really would prevent him

  crawl.
■ If the restaurant you went to the waiter with a towel in his 
hand, 

  check whether the inscription on the towel "Legs."
■ If a person everything is fine, then - this is not our man.
■ If you become unbearable, do not lay hands on oneself, and

  make feet.
■ If you are not satisfied with your salary, give it to his 
wife. ■ If you are reproached in the absence of morality, state 
that you have them 

  even two ...
■ If your site is in the valley and flooded it, try

  grow it a little fish.
■ If your lady there is no price, then it is given to you for 
free! ■ If you lose your false teeth, try to remember


  whom you kissed throughout the evening.
■ If you are right and good caring for my garden,

  it would soon necessarily agree.
■ If you sit at a party at the table, do not cut on

  table, words such as "SGPTU-30", "DMR-94" or "Tolyan of

  Alapaevsk. "The best cut," Thank you "," Kaif! "

  "We pritorchali! The owner will be pleased.
■ If you are going somewhere to go, but your wife is too long

  going to try to hit it ...
■ If you want to make sure you were smart, beautiful, rich

  wife - you have to get married thrice.
■ If you do not tie to the face, wear it around his neck.
■ If the woman fell, the gentleman will always help her up,

  fool will pass, Casanova falls nearby.
■ If Don Juan repents, then no sin.
■ If Don Juan has vowed to leave the monastery, then a monastery

  female.
■ If you are a fool is clever, then he is from a fairy tale.
■ If your wife keeps her husband in a black body, so she likes

  negros.
■ If the woman is wrong, then you need to apologize and shut up.
■ If the woman does not watch himself, a man watches

  another woman.
■ When life goes well, then she cracked.
■ If one of the guests knocked on your pants vinaigrette, not

  Drag him with a fork, and pass his plate - let

  himself put.
■ If people can kill themselves, is it any wonder

  that they kill someone else?
■ If your husband is looking straight into his eyes, then it's 
time to take care of 

  FIG.
■ If a man marries only because it is time, therefore, already

  late.
■ If a man requires only one woman, then she does not

  able to another.
■ If the cherries are some tiny apples, then

  somewhere you do not keep track of her ...
■ If the garden does not grow, try to spray it

  remedy for baldness.
■ If the scientific work is not open, it needs to be done

  closed.
■ If the dog licks his ass a long time - it means in a minute

  He liznet you in the nose.
■ If you are coming home in the dark you by mistake instead of 
drinking water 

  developer, fixer and drink, otherwise it will not be

  brought to an end.
■ If the neighbors say about you is bad, it does not mean that

  they think of you well.
■ If the Union ironclad, why not free republics?
■ If there are housewives, so, somewhere must be

  and wild?
■ If you do not envy anyone, ask yourself: "And if I should

  I live? "
■ If you do not see in his eye beams, hence already stolen.
■ If you no longer meet the challenges, then you are lost with

  way.
■ If you want to wife you did not change, do not marry.
■ If your dog's nose hot and wet, so he was sweating.
■ If a person has no sense of humor, he should be

  feeling that he has no sense of humor.
■ If you saw a man, a woman lowers her eyes, so he told her

  like.
■ If you saw a woman, the man lowers his eyes, then he

  like her legs.
■ If you try to persuade a woman for a long time, she thinks you

  can only talk ...
■ If you are really tired of the guests, then look at the clock 
will 

  eloquent, if you translate it to on the wall

  gun.
■ If a person is not offended by your joke, then it has

  sense of humor, and if the offense, so he understood her 
meaning. ■ There is an assumption that a person came from pigs.


  It is not clear who is more offensive: a person

  or a pig?
■ If the apple is regularly envelop with smoke, it shall be 
registered 

  a drug treatment clinic.
■ If my grandmother had wheels, would not be a grandmother, a 
tram ■ If the alcohol freezes in stone, will gnaw it with his 
teeth! ■ If you are alive - well, dead - no longer afraid.

■ If you had died - a long time, if the fool, it's forever