English Lessons - Alexander STONE, Boris FAYFEL: A Lesson in English.

<b>English Lessons</b> - Alexander STONE, Boris FAYFEL: A Lesson in English.

                Alexander STONE, Boris FAYFEL

                       English lesson


                           If the name is incorrect, then the

                           words do not obey.

                                                   Confucius


    This whole story started with what I have, looking at
library of current periodicals, ran into just that
released a solid translation of the monograph: "Electrolytes
Battery: Theory and Practice. "surprise waiting for me already
in the introduction, where the famous scientist, Professor 
Borkris, formulating topical problems of modern 
electrochemistry, several times stressed the importance of 
studying the effects of coordination deformation complexes. I 
have captured the spirit. The fact that I just finished testing 
a complex experiment in which not without a certain grace, even 
to prove that Coordinating the deformation of the complex 
adsorption determines electrocatalytic effect.



    Damn, I have the same material ready for a smart article
in the same "Physicochimica Acta", which regularly prints itself
Borkris! On this day, I returned home, staying in the euphoria
that is not affected even forty-minute ride in shuttle
"Animal". Getting out of the bus, I imagined how
blush bald by my boss when the lab regal
vplyvet director's secretary and will - to me:
- Alexander A.! You a letter from Oxford, from the editors

  magazine "Physicochimica Acta"!


    However, entering the porch and saw the familiar gnarled
inscription "BEATLES", scratched on the door of the elevator, I 
suddenly realized that the article would have to translate into 
English ... My knowledge of English is sufficient only to read 
the table of contents magazines.


    However, I can barely make out as described
are interested in my article (without claiming, however,
the accuracy). And as a gerund, perfect and other "pessiv
Voice, "I have a strong immunity from school.

    And then I remembered about Bob. My classmate, Bob literally
obsessed with English and a student at the Philology, knew him
better than other teachers, and this has earned the nickname 
"Esquire". 

... The article was completed in a week. I called it simply
and clear: "Investigation of the coordination of deformation at
specific adsorption of various complexes introduced
in battery acid. "

    Agree with Bob was a matter of fifteen minutes, and I
was convinced that my office will not put speed Esquire
to a standstill. I'm not mistaken.

- So ... "Investigation of the coordination of deformation. All 
clear. 

  As far as I know, you're doing research?

  Hence, Research ... By the way, is not whether this study

  character analysis?
- To some extent. Why?
- Then it would Analysis or Examination.
- No, Analysis, as I recall, used to

  analytical work, and I decide this problem in different

  methods.
- Yeah, it means that the study specific problems
- It will be Study. Or Investigation - like better?
- I think that's what I've seen in the literature.
- Excellent. Hence: "Investigation of". Yes, you say,

  different methods? So, it you have a large and thorough

  study?
- Well, in general, yes - not without pride, "I said .- But let

  not be distracted by details.
- No, it depends on what pretext, we

  put: For a one-sided consideration of the issue will

  "Investigation of", but if a comprehensive study, the

  "Investigation on". This is roughly in line with our

  "Research on the topic of ..."
- In that case, let it be "on".
- Excellent. Go ahead. "Coordination strain ...

  This strain "what" or "what"?
-?
- I mean, distorted coordination complexes in this

  adsorption or coordination complexes are deformed?
- In general, it's the same thing. But literate, perhaps, sound,

  when the "deformed coordination."
- Then the "deformation of coordination". Yes, there is still 
this. 

  Deforms the whole co-ordination in general or something

  unilaterally?
- In general, I do not know exactly. And does it matter?
- Of course! If you do not change significantly the shape and 
dimensions of this 

  most of your co-ordination, there will be no deformation,

  a distortion, which is closer to our "distortion".
- Well, probably, the coordination is deformed, as if

  flattening and stretching ...- "I began hesitantly.
- Oh! Hence, the deformation of the cross! Then it will warp.
- And if the longitudinal?
- Then buckle.

I wiped sweat from his forehead.

- And what else is there? - With a bad feeling I asked.
- Another is a deformation with the stress - strain, or bending,

  in an arc, then it will hog.
- No way! It seems, hog - it's the "hedgehog"? - I remembered 
the school 

  poems in English lessons.
- Well done! Only a hedgehog - a hedge-hog, a hog - a hog.
- Especially! You know what? Let's just leave the "deformation".

  Once it is closer to our "deformed."
- Well, well. So, we go further: in particular

  adsorption "... And in what sense the specific?
- Well, here it is important? Just a certain type of ions

  solution in a certain way ...
- Yeah, I understood. This will be a "preferential adsorption". 
A " 

  adsorption "- is at the moment when the adsorption or 
immediately 

  after that, as a result?
-?

I felt that the attraction of my job thaws
eyes.

- At the moment - it will be "during", immediately after - is 
"upon". 

  However, even I can understand that the deformation observed 
immediately 

  after these little complexes are adsorbed. Thus,

  we have: "Investigation on deformation of coordination upon

  preferential adsorption ...".
- Something more like the Polish than in English,
  continuous hiss! Well, let's next - "I said, hoping

  then what will go easier. Holy naivete!
- Let's go, - said Bob cheerfully .- "-different sets of" ...

  He thought for a moment.
- Well, yes, most diverse! Hopefully, everything is unique? - No

  I stood, fearing the new issues.
- How do you say! If it is assumed that the complexes differ

  among themselves, and it must be emphasized, while "different

  complexes "...
- And what else can be implied? - I felt

  D'Artagnan, Ian, who Aramis read a chapter from her

  thesis.
- The fact that the complexes can be "diverse" - diverse,

  or just different - then "various".
- Well, let it be "different"; they naturally

  different. Well, what else is there? "Entered into an 
electrolyte? 

  Bezralichno as input: above, below, severally or all

  together! Just added, and all!
- Well, well ... Added to ... And in a electrolyte?
- You is not respect! Electrolyte, and all! Oh I know

  exactly - "electrolyte", with no options!
- That's right, do not be angry. But if a certain one

  electrolyte, then "the electrolyte", if one

  electrolytes, which can be used - that

  "An electrolyte", if any - is simply "electrolyte",

  without an article ...

I'm cursed.

- Defined electrolyte! Absolutely certain

  battery! I hope the charger you explain

  do not need?
- No, no, of course. Just tell me, please, you're article

  send will be in English or American magazine?
- And that depends on it? In both English and American,

  and in many other magazines publish articles simply

  English - I know for sure!
- All this is true. Only the English call

  battery "accumulator" or "cell", and

  Americans - "battery" or "storage battery".

  And the spelling of some words differently, for example,

  "Behavior" of the British - behaviour, and

  Americans - behavior.


    When the clock approached noon, the article content
seemed trifling, the evidence - artificial
and conclusions - wobbly. I'm going to suggest to Bob to quit
all this nonsense, but a glance at his face, broke off. It was 
clear that my friend took possession of Inspiration, stop him 
now would be the height faux pas.


    In general, we went well past midnight. I was squeezed
and weaken the struggle over every word and just happy
that this hell is finally over. During the evening I got a lot 
more useful information from the English vocabulary.


    That there is only one word "rocky", meaning:
1) swinging, oscillating;
2) a solid unshakable.

Fantastic! After that, sending a translation editor
"Physicochimica Acta", I am looking at the library to the pain
friends and relatives of the cover of "Electrochemistry", 
Journal of Physical Chemistry and our other academic 
"chemistries, vowed more not to show off and write in their 
native language. 

    And exactly two months later a letter arrived from Oxford.
On the letterhead of editorial I read with sinking your address
and a polite: "Dear Sir!".

    An hour later, sitting with Bob over a cup of tea, I 
listened with horror Its pretty bass:


"Dear Sir!
I am glad to inform you that your article "Study
Coordinating the strain ... "unconditionally accepted for 
publication in our magazine. None of the three reviewers had no 
comments in fact work. Given the depth of coverage of relevant 
topics, raised in your article, and your impeccable English,

I ask you kindly inform me about the possibility of providing
you soon in our journal review article on this
topics indicative of about fifty pages.


                            Yours sincerely, Editor in Chief

                            Professor Armstrong "