Hunting story - Hunter, gun, duck, dog...

Рассказывает hunter:
- I am a hunter. One day I was going hunting,
I took a gun, a dog, I’m walking through the forest, I look -
A duck is flying right above me. I, naturally,
I was delighted and shouted: “Duck!”  I took aim,
I think it’s about to go boom!
Tells the gun:
- He took aim, which means... I thought that I
bang... And I would bang if there was
hunting  How can I bang him if I
toy?  How could it happen...
To be honest, it wasn't very loud.
The hunter tells:
- Not very much - that's putting it mildly! I first
I actually thought it was a misfire. And then I look
the duck is falling!
The duck tells:
- I'm actually not a duck, I'm a crow. I'm flying
one day across the sky, there was no one but the clouds
I'm touching. Suddenly I hear some guy looking at me
shouts: "Duck!" I thought he was complimenting me
wants to do.  I took a closer look, and he had
holding a toy gun. I thought that he
wants to play with me and decided to fly up
closer.
Tells hunter:
- I see it’s falling. Got it, I think. I think now
falls and disappears: where to look for it then?
And then I remembered that I was talking to the dog
to her (dog): "Fas!"
The dog tells:
- Yeah. I hear him telling me: "Fas!" I imagine
I'm not a dog, I'm a cat.  Me, back when
he called me on purpose, I thought that he
confused me with someone, just refuse
it was uncomfortable.
The hunter tells:
- I see that my dog is not moving. I'm talking
to her: “They told you in Russian - fas!”
The dog tells:
- Well, about the Russian language, of course, he is for-
bent... but it became clear: while I’m on his "Face"
I won’t react, he won’t leave me alone. By-
I looked at the sky and saw a duck flying
That's how it flies. Well, I think the owner has gone crazy. Even
if he thinks I'm a dog, then where is he?
flying dog business?
The hunter tells:
- Then I looked at the sky myself. I see it's bad
my duck is falling.  Slowly.  Apparently not up to
In the end I killed her.I grab my gun...
Tells the gun:
- He grabs me, that means... He presses me on the back
rock... Of course, I tried, but what can I do?
What should I do if my bullets are rubber?
The duck tells:
- And then I flew up. Sat on a branch and
I say: “Well, let’s play, since I called.”
The hunter tells:
- I look, a duck fell on a branch and says:
"Kar!"  And my dog ​​answers her: “Meow!”
I thought I was going crazy.  Lie down on the ground
he grabbed his head and fell asleep.   After a couple of hours
I wake up at night: on the one hand - a toy -
a fine gun, with a cat on the other, and on a tree -
Rona is sitting. And my head is splitting with a hangover -
Yes. I'm not really a hunter...

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