Humor - Jokes.

 A girl bathing had her bra washed away by a wave.
Walking ashore, she crossed her arms
breasts A little boy approaches her:
 - Auntie, if you are going to drown
your puppies, then I would take this from you -
go, withbrownnose.

 - Mom, mom, I saw grandma!
 - How many times have I told you: don’t dig
deep in the sandbox.

 The father attacked his daughter, who returned
late at night:
 - Were you alone?
 - One.
 - Who were you alone with?

 Men's party. Everyone is drinking and having fun
only one sits sad.
 - Vasya, what's wrong with you?
 - Oh, woe is me. Wifewas diagnosed with AIDS
okay, guys, I was joking. Why are you all so
turned pale?

 An old English lord is knocking on the door
the door of your own mansion. The door is open
The servant says and, smiling, says:
 - What, the old horseradish got drunk again and
hung around girls?
 - No, John, I went to buy a hearing aid-
parat.

 Two friends are walking down the street. Passes by
pretty girl.
 - Look, she smiled at me,- says
one.
 - When I first saw you, too
laughed for a long time!

 A guy came to a girl's house. Well,
enters and inspects the hut.  Suddenly he sees -
There is an expensive Chinese vase near the sofa.
 He looked there, saw something and, putting it
hand there, asks:
 - Oh, what is this?
 - Oh, this? These are the ashes of my grandfather (guy
pulls his hand out in fear). He, you see
or maybe go to the kitchen to get an ashtray!

 Having received a D in a computer science lesson, Si-
Dorov deleted the page and reformatted it
diary.

 On the square of one Jewish town,
people are flocking.
 - Why did so many people gather?- right
A passerby is sewing. - What happened?
 - Nothing, - someone answers him.
 - What about this crowd?
 - Yes, everyone just wants to make sure of this
personally.

 A stoned traffic cop stops a stoned
new driver:
 - What is your last name?
 - Whose?
 - Your name?
 - Whose?
 - Whose Whose? Chinese or what?

 A drunk man leaves a bar with a key
car in his hands and runs into a policeman
sky.
 Man:
 - My car was stolen.
 Policeman:
 - Where did you last see her?
 Man:
 - At the end of these keys.

 The son comes home. Mom tells him:
 - Did you throw bricks at Uncle Vova again?
 - I won't do it anymore.
 - And he doesn’t need any more.

 The Wolf, the Hare and the Hamster decided to emigrate to
China.
 Wolf:
 - They will call me Brother there Vui.
 Hare:
 - And me - Brother Zuy.
 Hamster:
 - Then I probably won't go...

 There is an earthquake in the city. Everything is destroyed.
The amateur radio operator saved his transmitter and
sends to the whole world:
 - We have a disaster. There's nothing left. Pe-
I spell it out: Nikolai, Ilya, Christian,
Ulyana, Yakov.

 - Is it true that a dog bit you?
 - Yes.
 - Where?
 - But this is not true.

 The wife asks her husband:
 - Fedya, where were you yesterday?
 - This is a blatant lie! Who told you?!

 Odessa.  Paid toilet. A man comes in.
There is no one, only in the far booth you can hear
there is a strained groaning... I went into the cabin
Ku, done his job, got up, goes out. On
exiting, out of habit, hits the switch with his hand
to the reader. A cry is heard in the darkness:
 - Ahhh!
 Turns on the light with a trembling hand. Exclamation from
far cabin:
 - Ugh... And I thought that my eyes were bursting -
zeros...

 A waiter with a tray approaches the client
restaurant:
 - Coffee? Tea?
 Client:
 - Perhaps coffee.
 Waiter:
 - But you guessed wrong - tea...

 - Waiter, my plate is wet!
 - This is your soup, sir!

 The old man threw the net into the sea three times, yes
never got there.

 The old man threw a net into the sea, and it turned black
sea.Yes! The old man hasn’t washed his net for a long time

























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