Humor - Armenian radio.

Is it possible to paint eggs with a brush? - Yes,
if the husband is not afraid of tickling.

What should a pot be like in a small room?
apartment? - The same as usual, only
handles inward.

Can a woman get pregnant from dust? -
Maybe if there is a lot of dust.

Can a vegetarian love a woman? -
Maybe if a woman is neither fish nor fowl.

Can a woman, having been married three times,
stay virgin? - Maybe, if the
first husband is French, second is Armenian, third
- academician

What is purgen used for? - This is a national
nal contraceptive.

Can a German Shepherd become a Bulldog?
- Maybe if her tail is chopped off and stuffed
muzzle.

Who is better to be - a fool or bald? - Lu-
better than a fool: the bald spot is not so noticeable.

What are the similarities between a TV tower and a women's
leg? - The higher, the more breathtaking
tuts.

Why do old maids wear black skirts? -
So as not to expose the film.

When will there be world famine? - When
The Chinese will start eating with forks.

Will there be a new world war? - Wars
there won’t be, but there will be such a struggle for peace,
that no stone will be left unturned.

How to protect a boa from hair loss?
- We don’t know what a boa is, but before
Let's guess. We recommend not to ride a horse
di riding, on a bicycle, and also do not wash-
use a hard washcloth.

Does a woman have the gift to satisfy
a man? - Possesses, but not for nothing.

What is a decent woman, and what is
slut? - A slut is a lonely womana woman who is sad and goes to bed
alone, but decent loves order, today
one, and tomorrow another.

What's the difference between a statue and a woman? -
The statue first falls, and then breaks, and
The woman is the opposite.

Why does a rooster sing all his life? - Because
he has many wives and not a single mother-in-law.

Can a dog have a heart attack? - May-
t, if human conditions are created for her.

Is there life on Mars? - Not either.

What is salary? - Same as menstrual
Ruation: You wait a month, and in three days it’s over.

Where do all diseases come from? - All
pain from nerves, only syphilis from pleasure
actions.

What is criticism from below? - You can't -
get off.

What is the most valuable thing in human milk? - Ta-
ra.

Can a man possess a hundred women in
one night? - Maybe if the night is polar.

What is a husband? - This is a substitute for love
as for the economic part.

What's the difference between a husband and a director? -
The director knows his deputy, and the husband
no.

What does the Russian word business mean? - On-
before stealing a box of vodka, pouring out the vodka, bottles
hand over the cards and drink the money away.

What's the easiest thing in the world? - Member - not
Before you have time to think, he’s already getting up.

What's the hardest thing in the world?
-Member - if he doesn’t get up, then there’s no way -
you can't raise it with a rat.

What's the fastest thing in the world? - Thought. For
in one minute you can be transported from Epebaha to
to Paris and put up a dozen sticks yourself
to a beautiful woman.

Who were the first people on earth? - Known
but that man descended from the monkey,
therefore we have to admit that the first
the people were: Jew - Aron Gutan, Georgian -
Champanidzeand Russian - Gavrila.

What is the difference between a man's penis and a self-
in the summer? - The plane rises - it becomes
smaller, and the penis rises - it becomes
more.

Can a man's penis become a drummer?
labor? - It can’t, because it stands on
work not when you need it, but when you want it, not
can work eight hours straight, spits
to his workplace, in addition, he has
his private interests - himself
stayed, doesn’t let others in.

How is a girl different from a knight? - Ry-
the king fights to the last drop of blood, and
girl - before the first.

Why is the Armenian expression “and into the bushes” pi-
goes together? - Because there is only one
there is nothing to do.

Is it possible to iron nylon? - It’s not possible, but
necessary if he is on a beautiful female leg.

Why doesn't a chicken have breasts? - Because
The rooster has no arms.

What kind of women will be loved under communism -
fat or thin? -It is not known exactly, but
we assume overweight, since the man is not
A dog that doesn't throw itself at bones.

What does cross to cross mean? - Pop on
nurse.

What's the difference between men's and women's
with your feet? - There is no difference in the legs, the difference is
between them.

Why is it better to die: from syphilis or from
dysentery? - It is better to die a man than
asshole.

Is it possible to sleep with the window open? -
It is possible if there is no one else.

Is it true that Tchaikovsky was homosexual?
leaf? - True, but we don’t love him that much -
just for this.

What do girls do in big cities? -
They solve the problem - how to wear a “mini” skirt on
"maxi"-butt and pull on high boots
crooked legs.

How does a French woman have an abortion? - Ugh!

What is a decent woman? - Thisfemale
the beauty that reverberates in the front door.

What is a shy woman? - This is a female
the gap that extends behind the wall.

How to get a friend? - Do you want to have a friend -
buy a dog.

Is it possible to stop a train with your butt? - Mo-
It's fine if it's red.

Can a 6-volt battery kill a person?
cumulator? - Maybe if he falls off the scale-
fa.

What is the difference between a woman and a yacht? - On a yacht
first they put up the mast, and then they raise it
sails, but for a woman it’s the other way around.

What is a fellow soldier? - This is a man,
who can only throw one stick.

What's between a woman's legs? - Style
ral machine - you put the thing in and take it out
a rag.

How many types of unnatural are there?
love? - Man to man, woman to woman
women, countries of people's democracy toCCCP.

What is the difference between nuts and husband? - Nuts
they gnaw when there is money, but they gnaw at the husband,
when there is no money.

What is “neither this nor that and a bow on the side”?
- This is a naked man in profile.

Are there any brothels in the CCCP? - Houses
We have no tolerance, we have houses from
breath.

Is it possible to rape a woman while walking? -
It’s impossible, because you can run with your skirt up
easier than with your pants down.

Is it possible to determine nationality if
father is Turkish and mother is Jewish? - Natural
Jew

Where is a person’s soul? - Under the bladder-
repair Once you recover, your soul becomes lighter
curls.

Where does a woman have appendicitis? - How do you get in -
to the left.

What does a rooster think when he runs after a hen?
- "I’ll catch up - I’ll be satisfied, but I won’t catch up,
I'll keep myself warm."

Achicken? - "Am I running too fast?"

How should a young wife treat her husband? -
Like with a dog: feed, caress, more often
take for a walk.

Will there be love under communism? - Do not
no money, no love.

Why do my feet smell bad when my feet sweat?
chickpeas, but no hands? - Remember where the
this is where the legs come from and where the arms come from.

Is it possible to live on one salary? - Not
We know, we haven't tried it.

What is the best contraceptive
quality? - "Spiodin".

How many great nations are there in the world? - Russians,
non-Russians and Armenians.

What's the cutest thing in the world? - Dream. Put it down
there's a beautiful woman next to me, but if
if you want to sleep, you won’t pay any attention to her -
anyone's attention.

What can the most beautiful woman give Pa-
Riga? - She can't give more than that
what it can give.

What is super-greed? - When a person
spoils the air under the blanket and covers himself
with the head.

Why is the bug flat? - To make it more convenient
sleep on it.

How to get rid of bedbugs? - Must buy
lottery tickets and cover the room with them.
If at least one ticket wins, then the bedbugs
will die of laughter.

How to determine the border, where is Georgia and where
Armenia ? - It is necessary to put
the right woman: a Georgian will approach from the front, and
Armenian in the back.

What's softest in the world? - Fist. Even
on a soft pillow it is placed under the
fishing

Is it possible to go to the toilet during an atomic explosion?
years ? - You can, if you find your butt.

What is a family quarrel? - This is when-
The woman spreads her legs, and the man spreads his arms.

Why aren't women taken into the army? - Because
that on the command “lie down” they fall on their backs
well.

What's the difference between beer and medicine? -
The medicine is first prescribed and then drunk,
and beer is first drunk and then discharged.

What is the difference between a woman and a tree? - Wood
First they saw, and then they knocked down the woman -
on the contrary.

What is a reactive husband? - This is Tu-104
, but not my wife even once.

What should you do when your mother-in-law is attacked by a tiger?
 - He attacked himself, let him defend himself.

Why does a man's penis quickly go to the penis?
this ? - Because it works in hot
shop, and always on the night shift, and down
head.

The CCCP has a planned economic system, why
Isn't there a planned birth? - Because
that the means of production are located per hour
soft hands.

Is it possible to make Paris a socialist city? - Possible
but, but it's a pity.

TrueIs it possible that everyone's eyes sparkle?
...Armenian radio refused to answer.
Then Odessa radio connected: "If
if everyone's eyes sparkled, then in Odessa
There would always be white nights." About this
Leningrad radio stated: "No request
hints".

What is the difference between a golden woman and a simple one?
 - Gold - hallmarked.

What is the difference between a Volga and a priest? - Volga -
mother, and priest - father.

Is it possible to determine the size of a man's penis?
on the nose? - It is possible. But judging by the donkey,
it's better for the ears.

What is “neither this nor that”? - This is a small
Kaya for three.

What is old age? - This is when half
urine is being analyzed.

What can you remove from a naked woman? - Only
naked man

Why is the word "kvass" written together, and "k"
to you" -separately ? - Because "pineapple"
is written together, and “we her” is written separately.

How is a woman different from a man? - Women-
Schina can always, but doesn’t always want to, but
a man is the opposite.

How to kill bedbugs in a room? - It is necessary
drive them under the closet, and file them down near the closet
legs.

What is the most beautiful city? How much do you need
atomic bombs to destroy it?
...Armenian radio paused and answered:
"Yerevan is a beautiful city, but Tbilisi is a
better."

Where did tap dancing come from? - It originated in
the family of the worker Sarzhesyan, who had
thirteen children and one chamber pot.

What should you do in case of an atomic explosion? -
You need to wrap yourself in a sheet and slowly
crawl to the cemetery.

Why is it slow? - So as not to create
panic.

What's the difference between TV and night TV?
pot ? - No difference. Both there and there
same thing, but better in a potvisible.

Is it possible to build communism separately?
captured city of Yerevan? - Possible, but better
in the separate city of Tbilisi.

What happens if you combine cybernetics and
mathematics? - Cybenematics.

Why does a person have a nose? - In men, for
beauty, and for women to stick it where
shouldn't.

Why are some men thin and others fat?
the same, although they eat the same pasta? -
Because some eat along, while others eat along-
perek.

What's the difference between a woman and glass? -
If the glass is covered with matte, it turns white, and
the woman blushes.

Which TV is the best? - Female.
Firstly, it breaks down once in a lifetime. In-in-
of which, once a month it is in color. T-tre-
of these, any tube is suitable, fourthly,
works under any voltage.

How to make twins? - You need to wrap the member
into carbon paper.
What should be done to prevent a woman from giving birth?
the gun didn’t fire, the dog didn’t bite?-
Do not release.

Can there be communism in Armenia? - No,
because it's just around the corner.

What is a hairy man? - Is this or
the first man, or the last monkey.

What is a hangover? - This is the same booze,
only in the morning.

What is a woman with a low neckline called?
-Vociferous.

What is sexual insufficiency? - This
when the penis does not reach the floor by 15 cm.

What kind of wife is better to have: scary, but faithful?
new, or beautiful, but...? - It’s better to eat
cake in chorus than to peck g... alone.

Why are Armenians always lucky? - Because
fortune is afraid to turn its back on them.

Is it possible to rape a woman who has
crooked legs? ...Armenian radioa week
was silent. The BBC joined in. Via
After some time, the answer arrived: "The British
gentlemen and do not put spokes in the wheels
will be."

Why is there no more lamb, pork in stores?
nina and chickens? - All the sheep went to study,
all the pigs came out, the chickens laughed
died.

What's the shortest joke? - Jew -
janitor

Is it possible to cross a bear and a cow? - Not
only possible, but also necessary, so that in winter it
sucked its paw and gave milk in the summer.

What needs to be done to increase the yield -
ness in CCCP? - We need to stop pouring...
at each other and start taking him out on
fields.

What to do on your wedding night to
not to stain the sheet? - Wash your feet.

What is an airship? - This is a flying egg.

And I have two eggs, but I don’t fly. Why ?
- The propeller is not working well.

What is the difference between clap andnightingale? - Sing-
you wave, you'll find out.

Is it true that Russians have a melodic language?
- True truth, because. they say: "River
knee-deep, and fish up to...".

Can a woman make a man a millionaire?
rum ? - Maybe if he's a billionaire.

What is: “No stake, no yard”? - This is
where it’s not worth it and there’s nowhere to live.

It is true that under communism children will be born
be given with the help of steam and electricity and
how to understand this? - Let's clarify: into the room
steam comes in and extinguishes the electricity.
The rest is the same as under socialism.

Can a man get pregnant? - Above this
work is being done on the problem in Armenia. Bye
no positive results.

What will a woman look like if she is...
put upside down? - On the piggy bank.

What will a man look like if he is...
put upside down? - On a hanger.

How many times does a woman blush in her life? -
Four times: on the wedding night, when
first time cheating on husband when first
the first time he takes money, the first time he gives
money.

And the man? - Twice: the first time - when
Yes, the second one can’t, the second one - when you can’t
let's go first.

Is it possible to rape a woman in the central
no area ? - No. They will interfere with the advice -
mi.

Is it possible to play go-go on a square meter?
births? - It is possible if a woman puts a figure
ry, and the man throws sticks.

Can a woman become a swan? - If
maybe a cancer, maybe a swan.

How to protect yourself from pregnancy? - Drink
narzan.

Before or after? - Instead.

What should a woman be like? - How to polycli-
nnik - clean, public and free
noy.
What is the difference between a woman and a bottle? - Bu-
the back is first filled and then plugged,
and a woman - on the contrary.

What to do to avoid sweating at work? -
We don’t know what work is, but if it is
what we think about, we advise not to cover
wrap yourself in a blanket.

Is it necessary to dye eggs for Easter? -
Yes, since it is not the person who paints the eggs, but the eggs
- person.

Can a woman become a goalkeeper? - Yes,
if it can withstand the 11-meter.

What is the difference between men's underpants and women's underpants?
- They climb into men's underpants with their feet, and into women's underwear
cues - with your hands.

Is it possible to get pregnant from a parasite? - No,
parasites usually come to a bad end.

What is a pregnant girl? - This is a girl-
the girl has no sense of humor, they joked with her, and
she pouted.

Did Eve cheat on Adam? - We don’t know exactly
but the fact that man descended from a monkey -this is a fact.

What is apathy? - This is the relation to the dream
shenia after intercourse.

An American asks: “Can the CCCP
engineer to buy a car? ...The radio was silent
three days, then answered with pathos: "And
you blacks will be lynched."

What can you buy with an old ruble? - Nothing-
th.

What about the new one? - 10 times more.

Is it true that academician Ambartsumyan won
"Volga" but by lottery? - Yes. Just don't
academician, but a football player, and not by lottery, but by
preference, and did not win, but lost, and not
Volga, and a hundred rubles.

Who are the smartest people? - Thank you for the
compliment.

What is carnal love? - This is love
on a raft.

What is superinduction? - This is when the
my man will knock with his dick on the telegraph station
forehead, and at the telegraph station she gets pregnant
telegraph operator

Whatwhat to do if you want to work? -
lie down and everything will pass.

What is socialism? - G... compared
with communism.

Is it possible to beat your wife? - Not only is it possible, but
and it is necessary, since Engels also said that
beating determines consciousness.

What's the difference between a thief and a lover? -
The thief is looking for where the bad lies, and the lover is looking for where
not worth it.

Why do some men strive to seize
with a woman on the stairs? - If not
gets up, then we can say that someone
coming.

Why is there no red caviar in stores? -
Due to lack of demand. Come to the store and
listen - is anyone red caviar?
asks?

What is replacing the cult of personality? - Cult
duplicity.

What is the difference between the word "worth" and the word
"is it worth"? - If it's not worth it, then it's not worth it.

Who is Russian? - Fool.

And two Russians? - Fight.

And three Russians? - Queue for vodka.

Why is there no Papuan jazz orchestra? -
Not every decent Jew will stick it in his
nose ring.

Why are we moving towards communism, but there is nothing to eat?
th ? - Why eat in the middle of the road, we'll come
and get drunk.

What is the purest love? - After the bath.

What is higher than love? - Navel.

What disease do you like? - Scabies.
Why? - I scratched myself and want more.

Which one don’t you like? - Hemorrhoids, no wonder
look or show people.

What is a queue? - This is an organizedgoing to the counter.

Is it possible to kill a mother-in-law with cotton wool? - Yes, if in
wrap the iron around it.

Where do women have the curliest hair? - B
Africa.

What does an octogenarian need to do?
Rukha, so that her breasts stand like a girl’s?
 - Get on all fours.

What happens if you cross a roach with a sturgeon?
due ? - Voblyad.

Is there a difference between a prostitute and a b...?
 - A prostitute is a profession, and b... -
it's a hobby.

Why is flounder flat? - To-
We don’t know for sure, but we think that after a night with
whale

Is it possible to get married in your forties? -
Yes, but it’s better at thirty and more.

What is a foxtrot? - Love standing.

What is love? - Foxtrot lying down.

What time is the girlshould go to bed
bed ? - At 21 o'clock, since at 23 it is up-
should be at home.

Which section of the library should I put the book in?
"Onanism"? - To the "Skillful Hands" section.

Can a woman live on 30 rubles in
month? - Yes, if you dress in creme
dit, but to undress for cash.

What is a cult of personality? - This is when
one spits on everyone.

And what about exposing the cult of personality? - When
everyone spits on one, and as a result everyone
They walk around spat upon.

Is it possible to iron women's tights with an iron? -
Yes, but it’s better to use your hands.

What happens if you cross a hedgehog and a snake? - Po-
one and a half meters of barbed wire.

What does a fox do when he wants to have a baby?
Whose foxes are they? - The same as a woman,
when he wants to have a fox.


Is it possible to talk to a girl of fifteen
years about the sexual issue?- Yes, if you want
expand your horizons.

What is adolescence? - This is when
bda they don’t give you a pension because you’re young, but women
They don’t give it because of old age.

What should you do if you dream in a foreign language?
early language? - You need to take a re-
vodka

Can "Zaporozhets" reach a speed of 140
km/hour? - Yes, if you take it down the mountain
Ararat.

Why was the Armenian radio closed? - For non-
local pause.