CC`05 - Report on the work done on Chaos Constructions 2OO5.

                                                                
                        Surfin Bird report                      
                                                                
                                                                
                Отчет  о  проделанной  работе  на               
                                                                
                     Chaos  Constructions 2OOS                  
                                                                
и освоении средств. Составлен  питерской  ячейкой  Спектрумистов
                            Беларуси.                           
Especially for the combat newspaper TargetT.              
 DAY ONE.                          
                                                                
                     
                                                                
  ...Leaving my antigrav near the Petrogradskaya metro station,
special agent of Belarusian spektrumism Kagan Kirill,
working under the field nickname Surfin' Bird headed towards
rivers. Near it was the building of a former processing plant.
thermonuclear waste, disguised in ancient times as
"Leningrad Palace of Youth". This building is now located
in the words of Master Yoda, "Thermonuclear waste plant
processing", and its roof is a certain hotel, casino and
several saloons.  In this terrifying place, according to tradition, and
it was decided to hold the Festival of Computer Addicts "Chaos
Constructions 2OOS"...                                          
                                                                
  The bet was set clearly: “Uh... There’s a gap there and
how... Then you’ll tell us...", but Surfin understood - under
these dryofficial words hide anxiety, because
There have long been rumors that the Spectrum business is dead, and the authorities are still
more are captured by people, voluntarily or under duress
implanting a chip with the devilish “Intel” marking into their brains.   
 So, having taken all precautions and grabbed for
conspiracy of his girlfriend Anyuta (who also happens to be
is an expert in hand-to-hand combat and a specialist in all
galactic languages), the agent arrived at the point indicated on
LDM map.  I must say that the local conspirators are excellent
they know their stuff!  There was not the slightest hint anywhere that here
something unusual is happening.   But special training and
pre-learned local language (You won't believe it, it's similar to
Belarusian!), did their job - after interrogation with passion,
the cyborg gatekeeper went to change the oil, and Surfin and Anna went to
second (according to some sources - third) floor.                     
                                                                
 Tickets were purchased in advance at local audio-video stores
products.  (Lyrical digression - half of them are called
"Titanic", and the second half - "Iceberg"... In general, logic
understandable.   And since mostly goods are sold there
pop-rave content - that’s where they belong). Byarrival
at the checkpoint it turned out that girls were allowed in for free, and the second
the ticket turned out to be unnecessary.  But the field agent's Jewish roots are not
they allowed me to just take and tear up the extra pass, so it was
sold for half a gold hryvnia to unknown persons... At the entrance
they put a Mark on everyone's hands - a portable lie detector and
DNA analyzer disguised as paper tape with blue
a strip on which, when irradiated with hard radiation, appeared
hieroglyphs.   There were also two mutant guards at the entrance,
specially raised in the dungeons of "LDM" and ready to kill at
the slightest suspicion. Therefore, Surfin had to give it at the entrance:
shotgun, two Berettas, a bunch of nerve grenades and
a glass of ice cream.  He prudently left BFG9OOO on
rear seat anti-gravity (from where, by the way, it was subsequently
stolen by vigilant St. Petersburg thieves).                           
                                                                
  The atmosphere in the hall was designed to break the morale of anyone
not trained in special psychological techniques - huge
cinema hall, glowing rectangle of screen coming from the darkness
shouts and applause from the still sober spectators and a stand
organizers, illuminated by a dim light bulb.                    
They took comfortable places, and, opening the previously selected
eu organizers have notepads for collecting information (the so-called "Notepad
for voting") began to snort. Preliminary information
the poor condition of the Spectrum, as usual, was not confirmed -
Spectrum pictures were shown.  I was especially struck by
magnificent work of the reigning king of artists - Rion.
 However, there were still many side quests to complete:
will meet with famous representatives of Spectrum
resistance, pick up subversive literature, get acquainted with
new hardware for fighting and, if
if you're lucky, take some back to headquarters for detailed
studying.  It was also necessary to find the underground UewArt,
who was supposed to openly bring a miniature
psychological bomb - documentary game "Star Wars", in
which Surfin' Bird contributed to its development.               
                                                                
  Therefore, in the intervals between competitions (each of which
would be enough to hold another competition), agent
forays were made into the so-called zone.  "Exhibitions of old
computers."                                                                
  This exhibition was certainly the most interesting at the festival.
The latest achievements of human genius were presented there in
in all its glory!  Surfin' Bird took his breath away the first time he
once I saw all this splendor.  Were there: long ago and passionately
the desired supercomputer BCOO1O1, which unfortunately showed
some vague garbage instead of high-quality color games. 
                                                                
                                                                
  The legendary Amiga (it seems - bOO), on which it was launched
platform simulator of a pumped up man with knives - Gods. This one
the simulator was mastered long ago by an agent on an enemy PC platform, but
he did not miss the opportunity to grab the joystick and try it out, this
once - on the right computer.                                      
                                                                
  Our sister by blood (more precisely, by heart) is MSX, without hesitation
showed off all her colored pixels in a flight simulator
class "shoot'em'ir" with a view from above... not against such temptation
Not a single person living on earth could stand! Only by effort
armed guards managed to drag him awaySurfin' from her blazing
keyboards.                                                     
                                                                
  All these were condescendingly watched by the elite Power Macintosh,
who did not want to stoop to games because of the consciousness of his exclusivity
silicon filling. He was having a serious conversation about something with his
little brother - the same pompous Power Book laptop
(I think)...                                                    
                                                                
  And most of the space was occupied by two terrible monsters -
Silicon Graphix sample graphics stations seem to be 92-9H
year.   There was no way to ignore them, because
Agent Surfin's cover is "3D graphics specialist,
modeling and animation" left no choice. Oh, they had something
show!  Despite their advanced age, they are fast
twisted 3D models (though for some reason only with pancake fill,
no textures)... but the most important thing is their monitors! Size
good TV tubes produced amazing quality and
picture clarity.  The agent was already trying out the keyboard
the back of the owner’s head in order to take, drag at least one home,
but then he kindly said that they, it turns out, were notcompatible
not to any reasonable standard and work only with relatives
Silicon...                                                  
                                                                
  Also present was a certain Amstrad, who, according to
eyewitnesses rule when writing music.  It was for sale, but
the moment the agent arrives has already been promised to some lucky person. 
                                                                
  But, naturally, the central place at the exhibition was occupied by cars
compatible with the Best Computer in the World - ZX Spectrum It was
exciting moment for Surfin' Bird - he saw for the first time,
touched, fell to his knees and kissed the original British
Speccy with, sorry, a rubber keyboard! Who would have thought
what is this baby (it turns out that, if desired, you can hide it in
pocket!) will change the lives of so many people and even the whole country! Was
there is also a specialized ZX Spectrum+2 - with built-in
tape recorder.  The machine is exclusively for games, but with exclusively
stylish design!  It might even compete with our “Byte”.
However, the main attention of those gathered was concentrated on two,
already domestic, copies of the ZX Spectrum: these are Scorpion and
ATMturbo2+.                                                     
                                                                
  Psychedelic demos were playing on Scorpio, and on ATM... yes, yes
- Fire And Ice. ATM generally impressed with its flat
DeskTop and... LCD display.  Spectrumists passing by
squinted at its unearthly color and bright colors.  "Yes...
Progress... But nothing can replace hardware anti-aliasing...", -
thought the stunned Surfin.  Next to the ATM lay a stack of
UEDO-RS magazines, UEDO-RS catalogs and price lists, for some reason
IskraSoft (more precisely, those who are currently selling IS-DOS). And on the wall
there was a huge poster with the words ATMturbo and UEDO-RS. Next to
with this wealth stood a representative young man of pleasant
appearance - according to intelligence data it could only be a prominent
fighter against pussy chaos, Knight of Iron and Soldering Iron,
Guardian of the ATM Seal - Roman Chunin.                             
 - Are you Roman Chunin? - asked Surfin.                      
 - I! - Roman answered proudly...                                  
                                                                
                                                                
...Which I instantly and cruelly regretted, because I was attacked by hail
purely practical, weakly practical, in no place
practical and in generalpersonal questions. To somehow stop
this stream, he immediately gave our agent a tactical-strategic
general-purpose and broad-capability device - controller
UEMO-IDE.     Surfin dived into studying this
high-tech instrument for establishing global
dominance, and Roma was able to rest a little... A little, I said!   
                                                                
  From the renewed conversation, Surfin learned that Slava Kalinin
(Uewart) has not yet arrived at the festival site, and Cacique has just
was here, but went to the hall.  With Kasik it was necessary
will definitely meet, because it is this maniac (according to rumors,
alive, using rusty tweezers to remove chips from brains
Intel-zombie!), was supposed to bring a pack of provocative
anti-globalist-anarchist publications "Paragraph". Every pissyushnik
whoever read such a publication began to painfully realize his
essence, and understand that he really is a paragraph! Sometimes this
a flash of consciousness completely burned the chip in his brain, which put
without Cacique’s favorite pastime... But what can’t you do?
for the sake of a just cause!                                              
                                                                
  The Demo competition has begun, and the agentheaded to his place
girl, where he shared the information received. In turn
she reported that there is no threat to World Spectrumism
feels, and her presence here is not so necessary, but
favorably agreed to look at the above-mentioned miracles
technology.                                                        
                                                                
  At the next break, the two of them headed to the lair
spektrumistov, where we met Slavka, Kasik and Romych. Right there
was asked to take commemorative photographs, which we believe
will be put on display for posterity during the Spectrum
parades.  I would like to especially thank the photographer who even
at this momentous moment I did not forget that such photographs -
a valuable acquisition for enemies. Even Bill Gates would sell his
rotten soul to Sinclair in order to get at least the nonsense
1b-color gif!  The comrade-in-arms who was entrusted with the apparatus did not
I didn’t forget about it for a second, so I photographed either the most
the tops of those gathered, or the legs or other, not so significant
body parts.   A leisurely conversation ensued.  The cacique gave it to our
agent (after confirming his identity) a stack of magazines,
which prompted him to take another photo... so... for the family. A
here is Vyacheslav, toUnfortunately, I let you down by saying that the game is not ready,
and will be ready, at best, tomorrow.                        
                                                                
  In general, having watched all the competitions, having also approached Roma, Kasika and
 about five or six complete strangers, Surfin' Bird,
Anya, carrying a load of new impressions, pleasant emotions and subversive
literature headed to the antigrav (in which, as you remember,
there was no longer BFG9OOO).                                           
                                                                
 DAY TWO.                           
                                                                
                       
                                                                
                                                                
  This time Surfin' went alone. He understood that it was huge
risk and danger - after all, the Pesyushny Day has begun!!! But he couldn't
force, albeit not defenseless, but still a girl, to look at
pussy horrors. “Everything is gone!” thought Surfin when he arrived at the usual
place, I didn’t find Roman Chunin!  - "We need to urgently call
reinforcements!"  But then reinforcements appeared naturally, in the person of
one of the organizers who said that Roma would arrive
later.  Taking advantage of the moment, the agent sat down at the ATM and launched
High Level Language ZX Basic Ch8 (the only one he knows),
and began to sketch out a plan for a new slaughter program,
which was supposed to bring confusion and horror into the souls of pissyushniks
displaying on the screen a stern and self-explanatory
inscriptions "ZX SPECTRUM - Rulezzz!". Moreover, the effect was aggravated by the fact that
that the inscription should have been displayed in different colors, from zero to,
in fact, seven, which would create a unique flickering effect.
The agent was torn away from this time-consuming and painstaking process
voice, which is in broken Russian with, it seems, Baltic
He said in an accent: “Comrade! Show your documents!”            
                                                                
  Surfin frantically reached into his pocket, where a lighter with
with a single charge of nerve gas, but on time
stopped, noticing that the guy was looking at him completely
of ordinary appearance.                                        
                                                                
  “It seemed...”, Surfin realized.  Meanwhile the guy continued
conversation, asking what kind of computer it was and who it was
owner.  The agent did not substitute his comrade, and said that
there is no owner yet, and this computer is a ZX Spectrum clone, one of
the most sophisticated, and the only one in the world produced
serially.                                                        
                                                                
  The guy began to talk about the benefits of such computers, that children
it’s better to buy them, not PCs (we completely agree!)... And then,
Noticing the program listing, he asked:                             
                                                                
        - What are you doing?                                     
        - I? It's that simple... I'm playing around.                          
 - Are you hacking something?                                
        - Of course not. I just decided to remember my youth.       
        -...I heard that there are a lot of hackers at such festivals.
                                                                
        - Well, most likely they are not here.                      
        - Aren't you a hacker?                                                                
Surfin looked at the BASIC listing with doubt.           
                                                                
        - No, I'm not a hacker.                                      
                                                                
The guy smiled mysteriously:                                     
                                                                
        - Well, of course... That's what you would have told me.                
                                                                
(I swear on my honor that I did not invent this dialogue! Everything is exactly like that
it was!!!:))))))))                                                
                                                                
                                                                
  Then it was Surfin’s turn to laugh.  He assured him that
not a hacker at all, gave Romina magazines and price lists, and went
smoke.                                                       
 Then Slavka appeared, said hello and immediately ran backstage
- digitize the game that he, with grief in half, led to
in such a way thatcould be shown. The rest of the people in this
spent time walking around the hall, going out to smoke and drink local beer
(which seemed to be sold at a SOO premium), looked at different
garbage that was shown on the screen, listened to the performance of some
guys on the GameBoy (brrr)... Well, during the breaks we spent
actually, competitions that consisted on average of one or two works. 
                                                                
 When the words “Game for ZX SPECTUM.
Shown out of competition." Everyone rushed into the hall. Surfin' Bird
rushed to be the very first in order to fully feel my
triumph... Imagine his disappointment when he saw that
all the cartoons he drew during the long pre-exam days
at night and which constituted the very feature of the game, were removed -
only levels were shown, and everything in a row (why,
the question is, then play?) and the credits at the end.  However, the hall
got into it, and clapped in unison and shouted “Spectrum Rulezzzz!”,
which, as you understand, was quite appropriate and deserved. surfin
to everyone around him (that is, Slavka, Roma, and some other
to unknown people), and for a long time afterwards went back and forth, reporting
to everyone who agreed to listen to him - “I did it!”             
But, unfortunately, he could not wait until the end of the second day -
affected by the overload of the senses with all sorts of pussy
lewdness.   Having warmly said goodbye to the spektrumists, he
headed home...                                             
                                                                
                                                                
  And only a week later, having cleared my brain of
pussy filth, calming the mind with a long game of Spectrum,
Dendev and Sega games, and after reading all the “Paragraphs”, he
I remembered other interesting things from CCOS: A brilliant demo with
Ras-Man, the legendary "Konex Square", "Blue Screen
death" on the movie screen, a crowd of spektrumists standing around
Scorpio, sculpting on the same ZX Basic Ch8 different effects,
loudly screaming with joy at each one drawn by the operator
Draw, lines... ...And magical "cat" music from a cassette tape
voice recorder, which for some reason was not allowed into the competition...