Today in the "FANTASY" section you will
something special is presented! And if
usually the magazine reader is provided with
is a story, essay, short story, story,
fable, novel (in verse and prose, by the way
recently on the game "WAR & PEACE" from someone
L.N. Tolstoy (unfortunately we don’t know
which letter should be emphasized correctly?
as many as five volumes of writings arrived, which
we were unable to publish in our magazine
le, because our secretary was tired of her
fill after the third volume), and so on
further. But here you will see something special -
new, namely, a film script written
our regular writer Zontikov
Jan Karlovich (ZYAK SOFT). In the description
we will talk about the program "LAST NINJA Z",
which after it was committed
gang rape BILL GILBERT and S.S
CAPTAIN became known as "LAST ASS"...
film produced by the company
OBLOMOUND PICTURES
scriptwriterJohann Brehan
based on the script of the same name by Bregan Johan
film director Phil Fine
and his friend Wolf Tambovsky
Starring in the film:
Chucky Jen
Nor Chakkis
Viselver Spit
Armstrong Schwarkennogen
Vmordam Dam
and also:
Bill Harrison, Myal Mordyson
+-------------------+
|Whose Nog Hryas Oima|
+-------------------+
Davato Pendaletto
Julia Haria
+-----------------+
|Maria Momentomore|
+-----------------+
and Teresa Down
SCENE 1
Mid-18th century. Thailand. Sub-Bangkokye.
Yard in front of the Teacher's house (6 acres),
trimmed in every possible way with reeds and leaves -
yami branches. In the frame there are large boots hanging
in the air, then the camera rises higher
and shows the gallows, well put together -
made of thick bamboo, in the loop of which
hanging a little ninja in a black kimono and
sweatpants. The Teacher stands nearby and squints
from under the beard. (Beard made of cotton wool.)
Teacher: You'll never make it
a real ninja until you learn
control the concentration of energy.
Ninja: (swings his legs) Teacher, I don’t have
It turns out I'm suffocating!
(cough)Teacher: This will help you. (attaches to
boots have two wheels from Zaporozhets)
SCENE 2
New York, top view, loud music.
Police Department. Sign on the door:
"Head of Investigations
terrorism."
Commissioner John Gluck comes through the door and
stops in front of a huge table, behind
with the sheriff sitting with a cigar.
Sheriff: (jumps up, pokes a whitefish into the camera-
swarm) What the hell? Crap. I'll fire you.
Crap. (slides down exhaustedly behind the table and
clasps his head in his hands. pitifully:)
The Killer gang has escaped from the past again
series and captured the same excavator
Thor with hostages! Crap.
John Gluck:Only one person can help us
help!
Sheriff:Yes. Go and don’t hesitate, otherwise that’s it
will explode again. Crap.
SCENE H
Suburban house.In a cozy living room
Ninja, Ninzi's wife and Ninzi's daughter are watching
on TV the previous episode. knock on
door.
Ninja: It happened again. Well, I'm more
I don't work for them!
There's another knock and Commissioner John Gluck enters.
Glitch: I was walking past and decided to stop by. Howwife?
How's your daughter? How are you? There is a matter.
Ninja:John, get out, or I'll kick you
your ass!
Wife:He's not going anywhere!
Daughter: Dad!
Sergeant Linda enters in a miniskirt, which
there was no swarm in previous episodes (Linda was not
was)
Linda: This time we really need
your help! My name is Linda.
Ninja: (looks at Linda close up)
Linda... No, I still won’t go!
Daughter:Dad!
Gluck and Linda: Well, no, no. (Leave)
Ninja: I'll go chop some wood...(takes
ax from the fireplace)
Daughter: Dad!
Ninja: (nervously) What do you understand in your
fifteen! (leaves)
Terrible music. An ex-boyfriend drives up to the house
cavator, people with automatic weapons run out of it
there and for some reason they shoot at the house for a long time.
Then they break in, and the main villain
Harry Killer kills his wife and grabs
daughter, after which everyone is loaded into an excavator
tor and go. Jumps out from behind the bushesNinja with an ax runs after an excavator
but falls into a ditch. The excavator drives away.
Ninja: (out of resentment he slams an ax into the ground)
Mother of God, bullshit!
Returns to the house. There is a corpse in a pool of blood
wives.
Ninja:What are you doing? (comes closer)
Wow, this is already a waste!
The postman comes in and hands over the parcel.
link - video cassette.
The ninja inserts it into the tape recorder. On the screen
wound - Harry Killer in full height.
Harry:Ha. If you want again someday
see your daughter...
then look: (pulls him into the frame by his hair
daughter)
Daughter: Dad!
Ninja:Daughter!
Daughter:Dad!
Ninja:Daughter! What are you doing here?
Harry:Enough. (removes daughter from frame)
By the way, I also killed your teacher
(pulls the teacher's head out of his pocket)
Ninja: This is not true!
Harry: Yes, that's not true. (Hides his head
in your pocket) But we have a daughter. You should
bring 10thousand pounds of marks. Money
put it in the suitcase. Money, dunce, not
bomb, like last time ha ha! Hm... yes.
In short: here is the address: (shows map)
and no nonsense!
(Screen goes dark)
Ninya: And this is completely stupid. I'll have to
kick their ass!
SCENE 4
A ninja climbs a cliff and hides in
bushes An AKM, a bow with
arrows and a stone axe. From the bushes
the destination of the journey is visible - a large yard,
wired and furnished
straw towers with sentries. In the middle -
not in the yard - a pile of barrels with explosives.
Nearby is a large white cardboard mansion,
on all the balconies and roofs of which people walk
sentries with spears. At the front entrance
there is an excavator. There are also many around
small huts made of straw (to build pro-
hundred, but they burn well). The ninja turns around
to Linda standing next to her.
Ninja: Well, honey, I'm off.
Linda: Be careful, honey!
Ninja swings and throws a star
with a tied rope. Star drink-
is in the ridge of the roof of the mansion and Ninja
climbs there from the bushes on a rope. His
no one sees. Crawling over the stack
he takes a bomb out of his pocket and starts it up
turns onkey for one hour fifteen (as
times until the end of the film) and drops down.
A bomb falls on a pile of barrels, killing
three guards on the road. Once on the roof,
The ninja starts tearing off heads in every possible way
take turns with all the sentries, they don’t do this
notice and look in the other direction
Linda, who makes faces at them from the bushes.
Having finished with the sentries, Ninja notices that
stands alone in the middle of the roof, and from all the solo
they've been shooting at him for a long time now
from machine guns. Then he starts throwing at
them stars, darts, nunchucks, balls
and screws and kills everyone. Suddenly on
noise, detachments of machine guns run out of the huts
kov and Ninja, dodging bullets,
takes off AKM, bow and stone ax
and with a small knife jumps into the stove
pipe.
SCENE 5
Daughter sitting on the floor in a bamboo cage
in the backyard. The cage is locked,
the key to the lock is lying a meter from the cage
(he was accidentally dropped). The cage is empty, only
There are two bamboo tubes lying in the corner.
The daughter tries to reach the key again
one of the tubes, then the other, but not
enough. It's the fourth day. Daughter pla-
even, whispers: “Dad!”, looks at him for a long time
tubes. Suddenly she jumps up, interjects
one into the other and takes out the key! Daughter on
freedom and running around the backyard.
SCENE 6
Not at alldirty, Ninja enters
into an empty hall, holding a knife in his hand. Suddenly
Harry Keeler comes out to meet him, also with
with a knife.
Garry: Drop your weapons! I've thought of everything,
and you're trapped.
The ninja throws the knife, the machine gun comes running
chicks and knit it.
Garry: Now I'll tell you in detail
my evil plan.
Tells in detail his insidious
plan: fill the excavator with explosives and
hand over to the authorities - the government will explode - then
take over the entire Earth and demand
Martian ransom. In confirmation of the showing-
gives the key to the excavator (Ninja immediately
steals the key unnoticed).
Ninzya: I see you're crazy!
Harry: I see it myself. Shoot him and don't-
Slowly start loading the excavator!
Suddenly it turns out that the cartridges
ran out and Ninja decide to hang.
excavator work is delayed because
that they are looking for the key. At the same time they are looking for their daughter, so that
weigh them together.
SCENE 7
Courtyard. Ninja is hanged. He stands on a stool
with a noose around the neck. Daughter was found in the back
yard, but they can’t catch it yet.
Garry: By the way, I still killed your
teachers. (pulls outhead out of pocket)
Ninzya: This is not true! He died!
Harry: (nods the teacher's head) That's why
and died.
Ninzya: You're lying. He died a long time ago.
Garri: (Hides his head in his pocket) So I her
This is also not the first day I’ve been wearing it. However, never-
it's good. (Knocks out a stool)
The ninja dangles in a noose and begins to
breathe with anger. Suddenly he starts
seem like this is the Master's yard, as in
childhood. A beard appears on the side of the frame
from cotton wool.
Teacher's Voice from Harry's Pocket: Real
The ninja must control concentration
energy!
The cotton wool beard disappears. Ninja is wonderful
leaves you suffocating, breaks the ropes, then
intertwines the energy channels of the fingers
toes, jumps over the mansion and disappears
stutters. Linda runs out into the yard and begins
hit everyone with a stone ax and shoot from
AKM and bow. Panic begins. Harry
slowly retreats into the house. Ninja re-
jumps the mansion back and runs after
Harry.
SCENE 8
The ninja enters the empty hall, holding in his hand
gun and sees Harry, huddled in
angle.
Ninzya:(throws the gun on the floor) We will
fight like a ninzi!
Garri:(enough from the floorpistol) No,
not this!
Ninzya:(takes away the pistol and throws it into
window - immediately the shooting starts there -
bah) No, I want it like a ninzi!
Runs to change clothes. Harry runs too
change clothes and they return to the hall at
ninja costumes: Ninja - in white, Harry -
in black.
in black. Both grab swords from their pockets
and start fighting (10 min), then the swords
gradually get lost somewhere and they begin to
start beating manually (another 10 minutes), then
slide to the floor and begin to flounder and
scratch (another 10 minutes), and finally Ninze
manages to get Harry into some kind of hit-
ry production mechanism (they serve
tea placed here and there) with rusty
hooks and gears. What a shame - Harry
tries to drag Ninja with him, but then
daughter runs in, looks around, sees big
bright red button and presses it from anywhere
curiosity.
Garry: What are you doing?
Doch: Papa?
Papa: Doh!
Doch: Papa!
The conveyor begins to work and Harry dro-
beatswith hammers, cut with circular saws,
burns with irons, drowns in kerosene, it hurts
beats with electric current and is pulled deeper ( 5
min), where he probably died. The ninja catches his daughter and
jumps out the window.
SCENE 9
In Linda's yard on top of a mountain of barrels
fights off a crowd of enemies. Unexpectedly
The indicator on Ninzi's hand begins to beep:
00:00:05 left before the explosion. Hand with indi-
cat close-up (30 sec). Ninja
rushes to the excavator, breaking along the way
the door of the hostage hut, everyone is loaded into
excavator.00.00.0Z - arm with indicator
close-up (30 sec).Linda fights back
with all his might.
Ninzya: Linda!
Linda: What?
Ninja: Faster!
Linda: Where?
Ninzya: Here! (hands her the excavator bucket)
vator)
Linda clings to the bucket (3 min) and they
they drive away quickly. Hand close-up -
00:00:01, 00:00:00. Pause (3 min).
B U B U H! General rejoicing.
Doch: Dad! Pararara-pa! Pararara-pa!
Couple - pA! E!
SCENE 10
Loud music. In the cockpitexcavator
Ninja and Linda hugging, in the back
Denier's daughter and 150 hostages. Behind
the ruins of the enemy camp are smoking, above
Police helicopters circle them.
Linda: It’s so good that it all ended like this
good!
Ninzya: Of course, dear, it's all over
forever. (Kissing)
Suddenly the phone rings in the cabin.
The ninja picks up the phone without turning around.
Commissioner Gluck's voice on the phone: Yes
matter.
Ninzya: (hanging up) Enough!
Linda: (throwing away the phone) Enough!
Zaudiences: (throwing out the cassette) Enough!
Bill Gilbert: (finishing breaking the order-
com damaged program) Enough!
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