Hello, dear computer readers
thorny magazine .Today we
open a new section 'LEISURE' and offer
We invite you to familiarize yourself with the famous
the whole world by Murphy's laws. We hope that
You will enjoy this epoch-making work and you
You will learn a lot from it for yourself. So,
read...
Arthur Bloch
LAWS OF M E R F I
Translation by L. Belyaeva
Part one
Murphy's Law.
If any trouble might
happen, it happens.
Consequences.
1. Everything is not as easy as it seems.
2. Every job requires more time
than you think.
3. Of all the troubles, the name will happen
but that, the damage fromwhich is larger.
4. If there are four reasons for possible unpleasantness -
problems are eliminated in advance, then we will always find
the fifth is born.
5.Events left to themselves
tend to develop from bad to
to the worst.
6. As soon as you start doing...
some work, there is another one that
we need to do it even earlier.
7. Every solution creates new problems.
Chisholm's second law.
When things are going well, something must
happen in the very near future.
Consequences.
1.When things go from bad to worse, in fact
in the near future they will get even worse.
2.If you think the situation is improving -
Yes, it means you didn’t notice something.
Chisholm's third law.
People understand any proposals differently,
than the one who contributes them.
Consequences.
1.Even if your explanation is so
it is clear that it excludes any false interpretation
However, there will still be a person who
someone will misunderstand you.
2.If you are sure that youract
will meet with universal approval, for some
definitely won't like it.
Scott's first law.
It doesn't matter that someone is going wrong.
Maybe it looks good...
Finagle's first law.
If the experiment is a success, something is here
not like that...
Finagle's third law.
In any set of initial data, the most
is a reliable value that does not require any
check is erroneous.
Finagle's fourth law.
If the work fails, then any
trying to save her will only make matters worse.
Erman's commentary on the theorem
Ginsberg.
1.Before the situation improves
getting worse.
2.Who said that it will improve?
Second law of thermodynamics
Everitt.
Confusion in society is constantly increasing
melts. Only with very hard work is it possible
reduce it somewhat. However, this very
attempt will lead to growthtotal non-
confusion.
Murphy's law of thermodynamics.
Things get worse under pressure.
Pudder's Law.
Everything that begins well ends
bad. Everything that starts badly ends
it gets even worse.
Stockmayer's theorem.
If it seems like the job is easy to do,
However, it will certainly be difficult. If on
it looks difficult, so it means doing it absolutely
absolutely impossible.
Boyarsky's consequence.
It is absolutely impossible to complete any work
possible.
The first law of creating dynamics
Zymerga systems.
If you have already opened a can of worms, then
the only way to seal them again is
is to use a larger jar
measure.
Part two
Booker's Law.
Even a little practice is worth a lot
theories.
Klipstein's laws in the appendix:
...to mechanical engineering
1.Your patent application will certainly identify
gives for a week against a similar application
ki given to others.
2. Stability of supplies always back
proportional to the tension of the calendar
go graphics.
3. Any wire, cut into pieces -
ki, it will turn out to be too short.
...and production
1. Permissible deviations will accumulate
to move unidirectionally to cause
maximum difficulties during assembly.
2.If the scheme requires N parts, then
N-1 will be in stock.
3.The engine will spin in the wrong direction.
lenition.
4. The reliability system will display
other systems fail.
5.Device protected by high-speed
will be able to protect with a fuse
This fuse blows first.
6.Errorwill be revealed only after completion
final check of the device.
7.Once out of the protective casing
the last of the 16 bolts will be unscrewed,
It turns out that the wrong cover was removed.
8.After the casing is secured 16
holding bolts, it turns out that
They forgot to put a gasket inside.
9.After assembling the installation on a workbench,
unnecessary details will appear.
Part three
Universal laws for young people
engineers, developed
committee on practical
recommendations of the international
association of engineer-philosophers.
1. Any error that may creep in
into the calculation, creeps into it.
2. Any error in any calculation will be
aimed at causing the greatest harm.
3. In any formula there are constants (especially
those taken from technical references
nicks) should be considered as re-
exchangeable.
4. The most important size on any diagram
or the drawing has the greatest chance of being
missed.
5.If the pilot plant works flawlesslydisgracefully, all subsequent ones will be non-
are OK.
6.Request for changes that completely
It is absolutely necessary to add it to the device, always
arrives after it has been manufactured
The research is almost finished.
7. Parts that simply cannot be assembled
incorrectly, the incorrect ones will still be collected
right.
8. All terms of delivery obligations
must be multiplied by a factor of 2.0.
9.Technical parameters of devices, stated
lyated by the manufacturer, it is necessary to intelligently
live at a rate of 0.5.
10.The expectations of buyers of a new car are
to multiply by a factor of 0.25.
11. Any device that requires adjustment
and adjustment is usually not amenable to anything
Mu, nor anyone else.
12.If the error in the calculation is responsible
more than one person - no one to blame
find.
13. Identical devices, tested by the same
in any way, will be in operation
behave completely differently.
Atwood's investigation.
Only those books that you read are 'read'
especially appreciate it.
Johnson's third law.
Lostyour journal number contains
exactly that article, story or passage
novel that you would urgently like to read about
read.
Consequence.
All your friends have this number or not
it was either lost or thrown away.
Law of Harpers Magazine
An item cannot be found until you buy a replacement.
her other one.
Rules of Interdependence
Richard.
What you store long enough can
but throw it away. As soon as you choose something
sieve, you will need it.
Airplane Law.
When your plane is late, the plane is on
the one you wanted to transfer flies away
on time.
The first law of cycling
No matter where you go, it's
uphill and against the wind!
The first law of bridge.
It's always the partner's fault.
Cat's lawhopelessness.
As soon as the cat stretched out and began
you urgently need to fall asleep on your lap
I had to get up and go, well, let's say, to
bathroom.
Johnson and Laird's Law.
Toothache usually begins at night
Saturday.
Ettore's observation.
The next queue is always moving
faster.
Buba's Law.
You always find what is lost in the last
pocket.
Part four
The art of design.
The first law of adjustment.
Information leading to mandatory
changes in the project will be sent to the author of this
project if and only if
The steps have already been completed.
Consequence.
In simple cases, when clearly visible
clearly the correct option and one clearly wrong
correct, oftenIt’s wiser to choose the wrong one
strong in order to quickly proceed to the un-
quick fixes.
The second law of adjustment.
The more harmless the change appears, the
his influence will be great in the future and
the more drawings will have to be changed.
The law of the lost inch.
When working on any project, not one
the overall size cannot be installed
linen exactly after 16h 40m on Friday.
Consequence.
The correct result will be self-evident
at 09:01 am on Monday.
The law of applied confusion.
A part that the factory forgot to supply,
provides 75% of the supply volume. Disassemble
having looked around, you will easily find that the plant
not only forgot to put it, but also 50%
I haven’t produced it at all since then.
Consequences.
1. Delivery by truck, usually I require -
one day, will take 5 days if you
you are waiting for this particular truck.
2. Adding 2 weeks to the schedule
Fika deadline for unforeseen delays,
add 2 more weeks forunpredictability
the unforeseen delays themselves.
Vyshkovsky's theorem.
Regardless of the units of measurement,
used by the supplier or buyer,
the manufacturer will use his own
own arbitrary units of measurement
tions converted into supplier units or
buyer with the help of strange and incongruous
natural conversion factors.
Sneif's equations.
1. In a problem of N equations there will be N+1 non-
famous.
2. The most necessary item or most
the required dose of information will be
her accessible.
3.Once you have used all the possibilities,
new solutions and you won’t find a suitable one -
Well, there is a simple solution right there and
obvious to all other people.
Miksch's Law.
If a rope has one end, it means
she must have another one.
Part five
Laws of machine programming1. Any current program is outdated.
2. Any program is more expensive and
requires more time than before
it was supposed to.
3.If the program is fully debugged, it
will need to be adjusted.
4. Any program tends to occupy the entire
available memory.
5. The value of the program is directly proportional to
equal to the weight of its 'issue'.
6.The complexity of the program increases until
, until it exceeds the program's capabilities
mista.
Truman's postulates
on programming.
1.The most serious error will be identified
only when the program is in production
industry, at least six months.
2. Control punched cards, which cannot be
if they stand in the wrong order, they will
confused.
3.If a special person is appointed for
control over the purity of the original information,
then there will be an inventive idiot who
he will come up with a way to make it wrong
the information passed through this control.
4.Unprintable jargon is the language that
which absolutely all programmers know
in perfection.
Gilb's laws of unreliability.1.Computers are unreliable, but people are not yet
more reliable.
2. Any system that depends on human
no reliability, unreliable.
3. Number of errors that cannot be detected
live - endlessly, as opposed to the number of mistakes -
side that can be detected - it is
vague by definition.
4. In search of increased reliability there will be
invest funds until
they will not exceed the amount of losses from un-
safe mistakes or until someone sweats
requires that at least some
useful work.
Brooke's Law.
Increasing the number of participants during preparation
delay program only for
slows down the process.
The law of the computer world according to Golub.
1. Inaccurately planned training program
lasts three times longer than
it was supposed; carefully planned
- only twice.
2. The nutrition group working on the program
has an aversion to weekly reporting
results achieved because it
too clearly indicates a
the absence of such.Shaw principle.
Create a system that can be used
play a fool, and only a fool would want it
use.
* * *
This concludes our study for today.
Murphy's laws, and you can continue
read in the third issue of 'REALTIME'.
Goodbye!
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