Humor - That is true.

╔════════════════════════ ═══════════════════ ═══════════════════╗
║  That is true.          ║
╙─────────────────────────────── ───────────────────────────────╜

121. Imagine that you are in an open field, and then comes around the corner
     tank.  What are your actions?

122. Our department purchased a computer. Now the officers of our department
     up to 500,000 strategic operations per second are planned.

123. Comrade students, do not be afraid to work with sources
     radiation. It's quite safe.  For example, here are some
     officers-sailors work continuously, for 3 - 4 years, at nuclear
     sit in submarines while their wives give birth
     completely healthy children!

124. Well, I drank a glass, well, two, well, three, in the end - a bottle,
     two, but why get drunk?!

125. Comrade cadets! When a nuclear explosion is detected
     the most important thing is to turn your back to him so that steel
     the bayonet did not drip onto the reproductive organs or official organs
     boots.

126. If a person sings, he is either drunk or an idiot.

127. I look into the nightstand, and there are sneakers standing knee-deep in mud.

128. Why are there people in the storeroom, but no one?

129. Orderly, what’s that stench in the barracks?! - Comrade Colonel,
     you didn't stink!

130. In the army everything is parallel and perpendicular.131. My last name is Major Repyev!

132. And from 17 o’clock the snow will be cleared by the communists.

133. Don’t make me deprive your future children of their father!

134. We crawl in a zigzag to this height. - Not a zigzag, but a zigzag,
     Comrade Major!  - As I say, you will crawl!

135. The major does not run, because in peacetime a running major
     causes laughter, and in military times - panic.

136. Being late for work, I stood in the tram as if I were on fire
     nails

137. What?! Where have you been? In the toilet? You should also go to the theater!

138. Orderly! Why are your boots hanging in the hallway?

139. So, I give you a three.   I won't allow myself
     terrorize!

140. At your age, I wore my boots down to my ass!

141. Comrade cadets! I was sent to you from the troops, and in the troops
     They don't play fools.

142. If you are on layoff, do not meet strangers.

143. Before leaving the unit, think two things
     directions: is it unsafe, does the garrison need you.

144. When the authorities arrive, the squadron commander is foaming
     mouth (or without foam, it depends on how he treats
     his official duties), rushes around the airfield.

145. Sports uniform - shorts and slippers. Who doesn't have boots and
     T-shirt

146. Now you will go to the camps, and your mothers will be with me
     sob in my breasts.

147. If war starts,I won't be with you anymore.

148. There’s a lot of ambition, my mother fattened me up on sausages and sour cream!

149. Comrade cadet, why are you with a beard? - I want to be
     similar to Hero of the Soviet Union Kunitsky. - In 10
     for a minute, if you please, be like Colonel Novikov.

150. Don’t know what to write about on the combat sheet?! Two - three
     small notes, a ribbon, tearing a chest, here is a woman
     naked and the inscription: "HUMOR".

151. When an “Air Raid” signal is given, the squad takes shelter in
     cracks. - Don’t be afraid, this is not the crevice you want here.
     not enough.

152. In the Chinese army, along with tactical maneuvers, “bypass” and
     "coverage" they came up with another one: seepage in small groups
     numbering a million.

153. You dig around like a pig in oranges, you don’t know where the edge is, but
     where is the end!

154. And during laboratory work games begin: one in
     The oscilloscope is looking, and the other is scratching its sides.

155. You are from the Stone Age, and I am from the Wooden Age.

156. You have the humor of the Stone Age: it came, it stepped, it fell,
     it broke, but he stands and holds his stomach!

157. A wheel - it is a wheel, and there is no point in turning it!

158. They saw me - and came back?! Maybe you'd rather have a scarecrow
     put?!

159. - Ivanov! - Here! - Where will you go from the submarine?

160. Every fold on a soldier’s blanket is a loophole for
     agentsworld imperialism.


 To be continued...