╔════════════════════════ ═══════════════════ ═══════════════════╗ ║ Hello, I like you. ║ ╙─────────────────────────────── ───────────────────────────────╜ Dave Barry (excerpt) zh-l "SHIFT" 1-91 THE MOST SERIOUS THING THAT CAN STAND IN YOUR WAY FOR A MAN AND A WOMAN LIVING TOGETHER The main problem faced by men and women is those who decide to live together are dirt. I'm not kidding. Men and women Shines have completely different attitudes towards dirt. They even have different they see dirt. Women, for some hormonal reasons, are able to are able to see individual molecules of dirt, while men tend not to notice them until they grow together into weighty clods on which you can grow a vegetable garden. There are and exceptions, but more than 85 percent of men with good reason are classified as having impotence to clean. This can lead to serious friction. Let's take a couple, re- who decided to share household responsibilities absolutely equally. When it’s the woman’s turn to clean, say, common areas niya, she goes and really cleans everything. Man, when we- his turn is dumb, he looksaround and since he is unable see dirt, realizes that there is no need to do anything special is a problem, so he simply flushes the toilet and is done with it. repents. After this, the woman says: “Why didn’t you leave? in the bathroom? There's a g_a_d_yu_ch_n_i_k_ there!" And the man whose performance about the viper is connected with the toilet in the pub, where they often frolic bacteria the size of a cocker spaniel, it won’t make any sense, oh than it is she. In short, in most cases a man masters the science of de- pretend to be cleaning. Ask him to clean the room and he will... e-where he will rub the furniture with a cloth, and then drag the dust along the carpet Sos, absolutely not paying attention, he collects some dirt or not. A friend of mine, writer Clint Collins, once suggested cut a piece of plywood the width of a vacuum cleaner, quickly run it across carpet so that those same parallel paths remain that, according to Clint, are the main result of the vacuum cleaner. (During the first ten years of his married life, Clint did not I realized that vacuum cleaners have bags; it seemed to him like dust goes through the electrical wires into the wall.) All this only means that for the success of living together Both parties must pay special attention to the specifications disadvantages of men sufferingpowerlessness to clean. Honorable women, we regret to conclude that you need to spend long hours in patient explanations the basics of maintaining cleanliness that seem simple and obvious to you, but incomprehensible and mysterious for those suffering from powerlessness to clean ke, like: 1. Where do clean plates come from all the time? 2. What else can you do with pizza boxes besides how to stack them in a corner of the room for more than two years in a row. 3. What else do some people do when cleaning the bedroom, besides spraying? nods of "Old Guard" deodorant, unwashed and dumped in a half-meter-high pile of riding trousers. And so on. The best way to avoid conflicts is to create Create a list that clearly indicates the distribution of responsibilities. To begin with, a list intended for a man suffering from insomnia forceful for cleaning, should be quite modest: List of household chores List of household chores for a week for a normal person for a week for a sufferer person powerless to clean Clean the kitchen Do not stain the bed linen Remove common peanut butter areas. use Remove everything else apartment. If we are already talking about peanut butter, then another a lock of contention for a first-time beginnera couple's life together can become a kitchen. Here again we are faced with such a depressing the fact that, despite the progress made in other areas when it comes to equal sharing of responsibilities in cooking, many men are simply not interested in such games ready. I'm one of them. What should men do in this direction? Guys, everything is very simple. If you want to build decent and honest families relationship, you need to start constantly preparing whole food and completely on your own. By food I don’t mean “sprats, but who eat straight from the jar with a fork", and the food that I would eat someone else. Which even your mother would eat. It's not like that difficult as it seems. You only need to remember a few recipes. Recipe number one. Reheated food. For a long time, this dish was famous for women and the greatest var of Europe, who realized that, with few exceptions, kimi, like fruit water, almost all food tastes better when heated. Method of preparation. Take enough food prostrate food to feed yourself and the person you live with. Pos- To do this, take a pan of the required size, in your opinion. measure. Now try putting a unit of food into the pan. (Kuli- simple trick: for greater elegance, try firsttake a unit of food from a can or package!) If it enters, then go- cook it on the stove over medium heat until it is cooked through pours over the edge and will not damage the stove. If she is not included in pan, then it is most likely turkey, roast or ham. Such large representatives of food should be placed in a small compartment. Place under the stove (in the oven) and cook at medium temperature until they fill the entire living space with thick food smoke Important note. If a unit of food really is turkey, be sure to look inside and remove the traditional a surprise package containing some spare parts; him are always stuffed into deceased frozen turkeys at perfect For reasons that no one understands. Recipe number two. Two types of food at the same time. Yes, yes! This is really possible! And the most skilled chefs sometimes three types of food are prepared at the same time, but I don’t recommend I'm thinking of taking on this on my own. Method of preparation. Follow the recipe directions to reheat same food, but just take two different units of food, two pots, two stoves, etc. The whole point is to pick up products that complement each other, as can be seen from the following table - tsy: Type of food Supplements Food from cans (meat) Complements:ketchup, beer. Doesn't complement: meat. Food from cans (root vegetables, Complements: food from bags, dumplings) beer. Does not complement: cream. Everything else Complements: beer. Doesn't complement: jerky (check with your doctor) Great! We've addressed the two biggest stumbling blocks, which you can stumble over when living together, namely - dirt and food.
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