How to write cool demos - Hello my little friend. Today I will learn how to write demos for you. Well, at the same time you will learn how to become an elite stager.

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                    How to write cool demos                     
                              or                               
               Is it difficult to become an elite stager?                

                                Some people think that they
                                talented, created good
                                works and themselves
                                elected Elite.   This is the word
                                used in an ironic sense
 to describe people who
                                think of themselves as "gods"
                                scenes" but still haven't been able to
                                show not an iota of your skill
                                and talent.                      
                                                       Adok/Hugi

     Hello my little friend. Today I will teach you how to write
demos. Well, at the same time you will learn how to become an elite stager.       
     What are demos? - you ask. This is such a program from which
no sense, but after the release of which onsome clean
staged demo party (be careful not to shoot it on
some demo festival, because demo festivals
is carried out for fagots and then you won’t be accepted into the elite
stagers) you become a cool stager.                       
     In short, listen further. Some (elite sceners are called
their lamers) may start telling you that they need to write a demo
you need to know assembly language and higher mathematics.  This is of course
not true.   To become cool stagers _NOT_ need to be able to
draw, code, write music, etc. etc. You must be able to find
a sucker who will do all this for you. Of course most likely
you'll come across a sucker who's not very smart (you'll find a lot of shit). But
nothing will do.  The effect that he will master cam, you
then you will name it the Most scenic effect of the year in your publication
"Kulny Scener" and the rest of the pioneers are not going anywhere and
next year every deme will have the same feature. What if
some schmuck will rabkatb on you, then swipe through the network
survey for the best demo and when you will get all of them
questionnaires, then go to the toilet with them and wipe yourself. Feel better?
Now quickly knock on the official cuts (cool sceners
they never say results, but they say cuts), where don’t forget
put your demo first. Other placesarrange from
idiots, but don't forget about your friends' demos. If suddenly someone
starts to doubt the reality of the cuts, then this is a hundred percent lamer,
you emy say so.  If suddenly there are several of these
man, then you'll have to make a bunch of profiles in which people
supposedly voted for you, put everyone’s names as nicknames
your friends, acquaintances, relatives and cat Vaska. Now these come out
questionnaires for that idiot who doubted. All problem is solved.
What to do, our people are somewhat thick-headed and it’s still up to them
the full height of your greatness has not reached you will have to go to some
tricks.                                                      
     In general, your sucker wrote the effect. Now it's up to you.
So that at the next demo party people vote for yours
the job needs to surprise him with something. For example, cool three-dimensional
film a'la Lucas. Naturally your sucker will never be able to do this
cheat, but that’s not necessary. It is much more convenient to do this in
3D MAX program.   Download some scene from net and
render.  Be sure to convert it into chunks (people love
watch chunks, if you show them the film in .6912 format, then
they won’t even want to watch). Now you can throw frames at the screen behind
frame, you can do it in two (when everything is fast and cool, then people just
howls in the hall with delight andeverything is being displayed in
vote-list'ah you get the highest score). But you can take it out slowly,
then a respectful whisper would be heard in the hall: “I saw some
does amazing calculations!"                                  
     Okay, there is a 3D scene.  Now it's up to the design.
So that people don’t stare too much at your stupid algorithms
sucker, we need to make him (the people) stare at something else.
For example, your photo. Or not, it's better to go to your kung fu classes -
record them on video and insert them into the demo. Everyone will understand how cool you are
and be afraid to contact you. "Be beautiful, tall, strong
- probably good.  Since they didn’t become like that, it means they don’t
lucky!"                                                       

Thoughts ash'a> Why the hell do I need karate when I have two TTs in my pocket?  

     Instead of a video, you can cram a bunch of major colors into the demo
graphics.  What are you saying?.. You don’t know how to draw? And your sucker too
can't?  Yromohucb, I told you at the beginning that you can
There is no need to draw at all.   Moreover, modern
technological innovations and the latest scientific research
proved that camomy drawing is harmful and doing such things
only backward people.  Everything has already been drawn! You just take it
convert the pictures you like, paint them and
put your nickname.  Ifsome lamer will mention that
I saw this picture on the Amiga and it was signed differently
by the author - feel free to tell this degenerate that you are worth two
monitor and you manually copy from one to the other. What is this
there is aerobatics and that there is a perfect similarity of pictures
confirmation of your Genius! And in general redrawing requires hnmhoro
more talent than just drawing from your head. They don't care
shit sneakers.                                                    
     You may ask, why do I need this now, so cool?
fucking loser.  You're right, but not entirely.  Somewhere in credits
you'll have to mention it, but it will write you the output (BIG
LETTERS) of your name, so that people know their heroes. And also,
when some moron starts screaming that, like, you're anime
in the demo, then you emy will say so condescendingly: well, yes, there is a bit
anime, so for design and plot. And then you will show the effect
sucker and ask the moron: “What is this? Dick or something? This is
reel-time effect!"                                           
     Who is a cool scener? - for the tenth time you
interrupting me with this question. Well, damn it, it's like a governor
God on Earth, like his prophet. When he says this thing is
LAME, then everyone howls in unison in response: THIS IS LAME!!! And then he
says that this thing is fromGod, then the crowd roars in unison
one hundred gulps: "RUUUULEEZZZZ!!!!!!"  When will you become cool
stager (and I’m sure you will become one, my little genius), then
you can calmly sit down in some net and rest on
You will be on laurels, calling everyone who listens to you condescendingly
"pioneers", talk about how they can't be fucking
sceners and what they are driving is not code, but complete sax and must give. A
then you will tell you that you had a dream from God in which you saw
kingdom of heaven and realized that this was the SCENE, and then purely
Lord Stager came up to you like a boy and said: “So,
let's have fun!"                                                     
     That's it.  So immediately take up my demo
little friend - you'll be in time for KHTRINUL's party.           

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  - Hey, Ash!                                                    
  - What ?                                                      
  - You're a moron!