. # ## ## # ## . ###### #####
# ## # ##################### ##########
### #### ### # ## # ##### ################## .
## ## ## # ## ## ################ # ###
### # ################ ################### #####
### ## ################# # ###### # ############
####### ### ########## # ## # # #### ####### #
#### ### ## ## ### # ## # # ######## #
### # # # ### # # ### # #######
# #### #### # ## # # ##########
#### ## ## # ### # ## # # # ##########
# # ## # # # ## ### # # # ## ## ########
#### ### # ## # # #################### #####
######## ##### ### ##%%%%%%%%:%::::## # ###
## ## #%%%%:%::::::::::::#:# #. ###
# #%%:::::%::::::::##:#### # ####
#### ## ## ## # #%%:%:::::::##::#:#:##### . ## #######
### ## # ####### %%:::::::#####:#######:#:# # #######
####### .####### #%:::::##%:::#####:##:##### # #####
#### #### # %:::::##::##############:## # ###
## # ## %::::#::###%%#%%####:##:### # ###
##### ## # :::########%:::::%%###:###:# # #####
####### # :#:# ##:##%%%::::::#%% ###### ######
# ### # ::# :: %%%:::::::::%% ### ## # ######
####### # :## ###%%:##:::#:##::%%### ## # ######
## ### # #:# #%#::: #:::###:###### ## ## #####
### # ##:## ## :## :#: #### ### ##: # #####
### # ####### #### # #:### ##### #:## # ####
### # ##::#::#:# ##### ####:: ##### #:##::# # ####
### # ::::####### # : : :: # #:##:###:: ## ####
####### .# :::#:#:#:### ##::: #:::# ###:##::#%: ## ####
# ##### # ::%#::#:###:##:::: %%::##::#::%:%#:: ## ###
## ## :::##:::#:#::::%% %::#::#:%##%##%: ##
### ## #:%%##:#::##:%:% : :::####:#::#%%:: ######
### #### ### #::%%#%:%:##::: :#:: :###:### ::::: ###### #
# ####### #:# #%##:##::#:####:### # #### ######. ##
##### # :### #:#:#:# ##: ##### # ###
#### # #:: :#: #:: #:# ##### ###
### # # #::# #:: :#: ::: .# ####
###### # . # ## %%:: ::: :::: :::: [ice] ####
####### # ###### %##% :%%# %%: ##% #######
### ####### #####. # ##% %#% ##% %%% #######
# ##### #### # ## %%# # ### #
###### # ##### #
##### ## #######
##
+-----------------+
| ZY P K A L O |
+-----------------+ +---------+
+--------------------|+part 2 |
+++++
|
+----------+
+-----------+--+
| fragment 6-9 |
+--------------|-
ZY P K A L O
(C) 2000, E. Nesterenko (Jam/XPJ)
- Oh, uncle, how boring you are here! - she began,
yawning slightly.
- There you go! I didn’t have time to turn around - it’s already boring -
it's gone! Just live with us, then we’ll see: maybe
it will seem fun! - answered Porfiry Vladimirovich,co-
The other's eyes suddenly began to glow with an oily glow.
M.E. Saltykov-Shchedrin
fragment 6
...When Petrovich ran out with a loaded car and fell on the wing -
Well, there was no one in the clearing anymore. "He faded, you bastard!" - cursed
Petrovich, and banged (for fun) from a self-propelled gun at the thick
rose hips at the edge of the forest.
Then he reloaded the weapon, sat down on the porch, and began to...
wait, carefully looking around with blind eyes...
He spent four and a half hours like this. When an old man's ass
fell numb, and his eyes were already starting to stick together, he decided to cheer up. For-
The empty “Belomorina”, prepared in advance, quickly pumped into itself
a portion of "dope". Petrovich struck a match and greedily took a sip of the stinking
smoke, and straightened his back, bent over the years. His eyes are nokpache-
they began to cry, their smoky mustaches began to move, and a smile appeared on their face.
There was a relaxed, goofy smile.
Yes, the drape was still “the one”!
At this time in the barn, located some ten steps away
from the house, trembling with fear, Gonzo watched the formidable Petrovich
through the crack in the doors. "Damn old man!" - thought Gonzo, old-
trying not to touch what was hanging on the hammerthe wall with a thick nail is healthy
zinc vein trough. "And what does emy want from me? Go away, no-
who didn't touch..."
"Damned kid!" - thought Petrovich, coughing strainedly into the kitchen.
varnish “And what does emy want from me? I sat there and didn’t touch anyone...”
However, Petrovich guessed what the unexpected guest needed.
I was exhausted... And it didn’t give em any peace.
Dusk was already falling on the earth. The sun has set, the forest has become...
the air, heated during the day, quietly cooled down.
After the third “jamb,” Petrovich “fell into treason.” He's nervous
he shuddered at every rustle and ran his eyes over the roof with fear.
the shadowy bushes, but did not leave the combat post.
Gonzo felt no better. First of all, emy was scary
but... Secondly, he was very hungry. And to everything else, mo-
whose bubble had been pressing on my head for a long time. And if the last problem
my Gonzo allowed, pouring onto the woodpile stacked in the corner of the barn, then
It was not possible to deal with the first two emy so easily.
He decided to rummage around the barn while he could still see something.
but... Unfortunately, the edibles in the barn turned out to be obscenely ma-
lo. There was only the firewood mentioned above, a pile of coal and
dozens of large red-orange pumpkins, causing for some reason an acco-
tions not with food, but with the fairy tale about Cinderella.After several attempts to chew the pumpkin, Gonzo gave it up
idea and gloomily stared at the black mouse hole at the bottom of the wall.
Suddenly his gaze brightened - an interesting thought came to mind.
After all, what do mice eat? They eat. Do they have refrigerators at home?
No. Therefore, they store food in an easily accessible place - on
semi, that is. And it would be nice to check these reserves...
Gonzo put his hand into the mouse hole and gave it a good rub.
shaft Eat! Some kind of bag. Come on, come on, what do we have there?.. Hmm,
some kind of powder. Flour, or what? Gonzo pointed his finger at the powder and
licked it carefully. After a couple of seconds, the tongue became numb, and there was blood
something began to bubble. "However-o-o!" - said the amazed Gonzo and
He poured the powder into his palm with all his heart and carefully sucked it through his nostrils.
mi...
It was getting darker around, so Petrovich went into the house and
returned from there with an old kerosene lantern. And when it's warm
a red light flared up inside the lantern, Petrovich felt
I felt a little better and emy even wanted to sing. So that it's fun
there was more. And he remembered a simple song that is often
I listened on the radio "Byak-1020", bought back in the days
Council of Deputies.
under my skin,under my skin
launch a flock of penguins
there's a stove right in the kitchen
where am I haru-bending you
we keep the combs long
drinking away youth with a pack of cancer
the green ones are so nasty
everyone will get drunk and get drunk next to us
you go you don't come
you'll get caught one day
maybe you should drink vodka
you'll flinch twice
you know it doesn't matter to me anymore
show me a couple of glitches
and press the ends to your palms
I'm not weak, I'm just old
just not frozen... inhibited
where with rounded eyes
stupefied veins I burn
I'll draw you all
I don’t want and I don’t even dream
you're wandering you're not wanderingcome up
you'll get tired one day
maybe you can have a beer
you will grunt twice
you know it doesn't matter to me anymore
I would like to punch you in the face, I would like to punch you in my face
you could launch it with a cake
where Borya Geytov is kind
received neo-carelessly
keep nanupocku long
ten centimeters with a hook
stoned happy
they'll kill themselves next to us
you climb, you wander, you don’t leave
you'll stuff yourself one day
maybe you'll grab the drape
you'll spit twice
you know it doesn't matter to me anymore
From a terrible metal roar in the barn Petrovich
He jumped up as if he heard the footsteps of death following him. Old man
I would probably have had a heart attack if regular stress on the heart
vascular system(drugs, alcohol, and at one time
women) did not temper him stronger than copo-
summer sports activities. Still some trouble with him
happened, but since Petrovich has been wearing underwear for the last ten years
cotton pants, haggis diapers for old people, then he’s okay
didn't notice. Petrovich's first thought was: run! But, realizing
that there is a forest all around, not a single living soul for many kilometers around
no, he pulled himself together and, walking like Lieutenant Ripley along the kopu-
Doram of the base filled with Aliens, moved towards the barn.
"Your mother!" - flashed through the mind of Gonzo, who saw the hanpab-
Leaping towards the barn with a lantern in one hand and a sawed-off shotgun in the other hand,
Petrovich. "And where did this damned mouse come from,
Shay me so inappropriately! And why would this old troll do this?
a trough, and even in a barn!” And many other thoughts flashed through
Gonzo's brain before the barn door swung open.
-Who's here?!! - Petrovich screamed heart-rendingly, pointing ahead.
I came down. - Come out, otherwise I’ll kill you!
- Bite it, bite it, Japanese! - Gonzo muttered, just once -
I quickly put a zinc trough on my grandfather’s head.
- Sneaky troll! - he added when Petrovich collapsed towards him
legs. - Take the sawn-off shotgun from him, or what?
Butthe old man suddenly stirred, muttering curses, and
The old hobbit Gonzo started to run. He barely had time to dive into the forest
thicket, as there was a thunder behind, and a good sound flashed overhead
row, and it was salt, or something stronger, Gonzo find out to
fortunately, it didn’t work out.
fragment 7
There seemed to be no limit to the forest. Especially now that everything
a dense velvet haze clouded around, and the air was filled with
disturbing night sounds. Gonzo wandered at random, bumping into
tree trunks, getting tangled in thorny bushes, stumbling over stumps.
He had only one desire, only one goal: to get out of-
here.
Therefore, when he, already at dawn, came across this
strange subject, then without thinking twice asked him for help. A
the subject was truly strange. It was a bearded man
a thick crooked stick in his hand and a bloody hammer in his belt.
He sat on a stump, and his gaze was empty and indifferent.
- Hello! - Gonzo turned to him.
The bearded man slowly turned his head, looked, but didn’t see anything.
replied.
- Do you, by any chance, know how I can get out of here? - not
lagged behindGonzo.
The bearded man looked again, then reached into his pocket.
- Boy, do you want a Snickers? - he asked in a colorless voice -
com and adjusted his glasses with thick lenses on his nose.
- I wish I could get out...
- If you don't want to, you don't have to.
And again he stared into space.
Gonzo realized that this is a wise Spirit, which means it does not need to be
tabatb with stupid questions. He gathered all his will into a fist and
asked in a firm voice:
- I am the Guardian. Tell me, Spirit, where should I look for the Mirror of Gamad-
riel?
The spirit shrugged and glanced sideways at the hammer.
- Do you know what I’ll tell you? Get out of here...
- Got it! - the Guardian hurried, rushing to run towards the indicated
direction in spirit.
He no longer saw how the bearded man rose from the stump, took out a young
current from the belt...
- My name is Chikatilo! - a menacing roar came from behind. - Yes
I...
- Thank you, I will remember this spell! - Gon answered as he ran.
zo. -Save-and-for-o-o you, wise Du-y-uh!
fragment 8
When Gonzo saw a tree hung with yellow fruits,
his heart beat joyfully. “Finally, I’ll eat something!” -
he thought, climbing up the knotty trunk.
But having taken a bite from such an annetuthoro-looking apple, he is
Dalcheski winced: the sourness was terrible. Realizing that it's not
we should expect more from the wild apple tree, Gonzo, with difficulty, tossing
jaws, chewed three apples, and put two more in his bosom - prepared
fuss.
Before climbing down from the tree, he looked around the surroundings.
In the west there was a forest, and in the south there was a forest, and in the east there was chenille non-
big mountains. In the north, by the way, there was also a forest. A couple of kilometers
from here a column of smoke was coming out of the forest - it was Petrovich driving to the stove
moonshine.
Gonzo came down from the tree. “Where should I go?” he wondered.
I’ve already been to the forest, so the mountains remain.” After a little hesitation,
The Guardian walked towards the nearest hills...
Gonzo realized that it would not be possible to get over the mountains
at the moment when I broke the nails on both hands, and on the body
several significant bruises appeared.“If the Spirit suddenly turned out to be neither a friend nor an enemy, but so...” -
Gonzo sang gloomily and looked towards the forest. But here he is undead
I noticed a small cave in the rock. "Interesting, interesting" -
he thought and went in. The cave was cold, dark and damp.
After wandering around in the dark for a while, Gonzo finds nothing interesting
and didn’t find it, so I decided to leave, but there was something underfoot
rang. "Treasures!" - he was delighted and rushed to pick up
treasure The treasure turned out to be not enough - a chipped clay jug and a piece
mica, but that was already something. "This is a magic amulet!" - by-
said Gonzo when he examined the mica in the sunlight. "Here's the
lucky! I’ll go now and deal with that filthy troll..."
Petrovich was stunned by surprise - yesterday was standing in front of him.
ny alien and brazenly shouted curses.
- Well, you old stump! Try it now, touch me! - yelled
Gonzo, waving the amulet. - I'll freeze it right away!
The old man put down the log, picked up an ax and made a decisive move
The homo headed towards the impudent man.
- And here’s “Pinocchio” for you! - Gonzo shouted and directed to the de-
yes mica.
Nothing happened.
- No, that’s not it... “Tarantino”!Again no effect.
- What is this... - the Guardian was confused. - Maybe
so: "scarlet fever"!
Petrovich kept getting closer.
And then the completely despairing Gonzo, swinging his fist,
ly, threw an amulet at Petrovich, shouted “chikatilo”, and left
battlefield.
After a few seconds, without feeling that he was being chased, he otba-
I wanted to come back. He looked out of the bushes and was stunned: in the middle of a clearing,
near a stack of bricks stood a motionless statue of Petrovich. Ob-
frozen and covered with frost.
Gonzo carefully approached the statue and pushed it. Petrovich
fell, and, touching the ground, crumbled into many cold oc-
kolkov.
- Wow, just like in “Terminator”! - Gonzo admired. - That's it-
ki the amulet worked! But where is the scare of old people? I need to go nouc-
hang out in the house...
And the Guardian went to Petrovich’s hut.
He did not notice the one lying in the grass, not far from the fragments.
old man, a heavy metal cylinder with a capacity of about five-
ten liters. Petrovich once worked as a watchman at one securitythe river military plant, and since then everyone was dragging their feet from work,
whatever could be stolen, Petrovich, among other trophies,
I once brought home a cylinder of liquid nitrogen. Practical
he could not achieve any benefit from such a treasure, so he placed
he put a cylinder on a stack of bricks, and forgot about it.
And now just dodging the flying emy in the forehead
piece of mica and touching the ill-fated cylinder, the old man thought
rick that it was a waste to put him there... Fortunately, he did not suffer -
for a long time - emy just became very cold, and then he fell asleep...
fragment 9
"On the road!" - thought Gonzo, walking in the only unexplored
bahhom direction - north-south. "I'll find you, you nasty filth-
new orcs who stole the Zyrkalo, and when I find it... they will envy you
dead!" And Gonzo clutched the gun in his hands tighter.
The forest suddenly parted and stretched out in front of the Guardian
a large wide stream carrying its dirty waters in one emy
known direction. Two boards were thrown across the stream,
depicting a bridge. And on the other side, on the other, so to speak,
shore, there was a structure that Gonzo without hesitation approximated
Rectil "entrance to the labyrinth."
Gonzo used the bridge and came to the "entrance to the labyrinth"
andI was about to dive into its uneven black mouth, when suddenly
I noticed a huge viper stretching near the “entrance”.
The viper was basking in the sun and clearly had no intention of crawling away. Vdo-
addition, she looked at the Guardian with a motionless yellow eye and
hissed displeasedly.
“So that’s how it is...” muttered Gonzo. “The enemy is-
Are you lying? Well, then don't be offended..." Gonzo pointed at the viper
weapons, but then changed his mind. "Why am I wasting ammunition?
spend? - he thought. “No, we need to find something simpler here.”
And it was soon found. It was a good red brick,
true and reliable remedy. Gonzo hit them like a viper in the head-
Surely the splashes reached emy’s forehead. He washed them away in the stream,
At the same time, he drank some water and filled his jug. Then he approached
"entrance to the labyrinth" Looked inside. It wasn't that dark there.
“It was not!” the hobbit decided. “There is no other alternative!”
He dived into the "labyrinth"...
END OF PART TWO
Share your thoughts about the article