Not funny - The computer of my dreams...

Di Halt #01
                                          
          THE COMPUTER OF MY DREAM.               

         "Oh, how many wonderful discoveries we have 
         The spirit of enlightenment is preparing          
         And experience, the son of difficult mistakes.      
         And genius, friend of paradoxes.        
         And chance, God, is an inventor."    
                    A.S. Pushkin            

                      c CHEMIC             

    Outside the window there was a nasty October 
weather, a fine, nasty rain was pouring, and 
only the bright sun on the monitor screen 
reminded that summer sometimes happens. 
For ten minutes now I have been brazenly rummaging around 
screw from the boss, under the guise of cleaning him 
office.  While this dung beetle is wearing glasses 
with a golden frame indulged in gluttony, 
I intended to transmit over the local network 
our office all available files in your 
office  Let the boss not 
thinks that only he has access to 
networks.  Some of the information I wanted       
sell to competitors, some can be 
use for your own 
self-education, and most of it will have to 
ruthlessly destroy, because 
my patron has strange tastes and me 
I'm not at all interested in information like: 
how to raise a herd at home 
pigs, or, even worse, like from 486 
make DENDY.                           
    "... How manysince I told you to 
you didn't touch my computer" - 
the head of the department yelled in a booming bass voice 
on the distribution of household computers 
like "ZX-SPECTRUM" - "And in general, in my 
Marya must clean the office 
Sergeevna, not you, damn you."     
    Still, I didn’t have time. But you have to pull 
time.                                    
    "Actually, I thought that there 
“pretty dirty,” I mumbled quietly.       
    "Get out, and henceforth know that if 
I'll see you here again, you will 
sweep the floor outside. Do you understand?"        
    “Yes, I understand,” I whispered. But he hasn't yet 
knew that while he was reading me a terrible 
rebuke, my little, decrepit 
"Spectrum" has already pumped into itself and stuffed 
by screw, everything this fat guy had 
goat in his IBM...               
    In the evening, as usual after work, I 
went into a small "gadushnik" to 
taste a mug - another beer, to taste 
resembled old socks. Spitting 
from such a buzz, I quietly wandered home, 
while humming an old Scottish 
a song that is usually sung on 
Polish                                 
    "Yes, what a weather!"  - almost 
shouting, whispering, I said when 
a truck passing me 
showered me with terrible forcewave of mixture 
the composition of which cannot be determined by anyone 
one laboratory.                         
    When I got home, I emptied my pockets and 
boots dirty slush, and leaving behind 
himself in huge puddles, began to wade 
through heaps of rubbish that were nothing 
other than my books. In five minutes 
I was already sitting in front of the terminal.            
    It was a hard day and I needed 
put the nervous system in order. 
One and a half hours of playing Python completely 
calmed and relaxed me. Now you can 
do something less pleasant.        
    "Okay, let's see what we have today. 
new guy."  - I said out loud, digging into 
a huge number of files that I 
brazenly stole from the fat boss. Files 
were different, text, graphic and 
even musical ones.                         
    And then I came across one very 
interesting file, these were records of what 
then a scientist from Armenia. Apparently my boss 
I was surfing the net and came across some 
idiot who proposed to our company 
cooperate in the field of expansion 
"SPECCY" ... Well, let's see what it is 
records...                                 
    I'm very lucky! This file contained 
a lot of some diagrams with detailed 
description. After quickly looking through them, I realized 
what did this scientific maniac come up with as a 
regular Spectrum -128" make it super 
computer, and in many ways superior 
Amiga and not to mention the "pussy". 
The parameters of the “rework” were as follows:         

QUANTITY OF MICROPROCESSORS z-80 - 500 pcs.    
PROCESSOR CLOCK FREQUENCY - 15 MHz     
MEMORY (RAM) - 1 GB                       
GRAPHICS RESOLUTION 4096x2048              
COLOR PALETTE 90 million colors;     
EACH POINT WITH ITS OWN (out of 50 million) COLOR 
QUANTITY OF HDD up to 30 pcs                     
    Plus to all this, complete emulation and 
tracing pisyuk, amiga and spectrum 
48/128. And it’s not his place to talk about the price - this one 
"comp" will cost only twice 
More expensive than regular Spectrum 48k! 
Imagine how I felt when 
I read the text to the end. But what about me? 
an avid electronics engineer was more surprised 
in total, this is the entire elementary base 
was assembled on production chips 
Armenia...                                
    From that day on I firmly decided to devote 
your life to this amazing development.  
I studied the circuit, laid out the board, began 
collect parts.                          
    I even sent a letter to Armenia to 
find out some details on the assembly "SUPER" 
COMPUTER". All day long I sat at home and waited. 
response from the inventor of my “dream”...  
    And the answer came, but not from him, but from 
his mother.  Here's what she writes:    
    "Uv.  Alexey, currentlyBasyr is not at home. Doctors came to us yesterday 
from the hospital and took my son with them, 
without telling the diagnosis, but one of ours 
relative, when he learned about what happened, 
said: not complete decoding of the cortex 
brain.                          
    When my son was put into the ambulance 
help and put on him a strange shirt with 
long sleeves, and these sleeves 
tied on the back in a knot, Basyr said 
me that he will return soon. Although I'm not like that 
I think because when his father invented 
coffee grinder with a built-in disk drive, its 
they took him away too, since then I haven't seen him anymore 
I saw it. Well, it’s okay, Basyr won’t disappear, he 
I’m a great guy, he’s just like his father.        
    With respect to you, ROSE LUXEMBOURG." 
    This is the story that happened to me in 
1996                            
    Needless to say, I couldn't give 
die down to good development, and even 
achieved certain results. I am life 
dedicated his own to her, and continued to study 
this until the colleagues began 
look at me pitifully and hard 
sigh when I appear.              
     P.S. And the food here is good, neighbor 
I'm Bill Gates, so I don't miss you, I have 
someone to talk to.  I always did before 
believed that MS-DOS would end badly, but 
Now the result is in the next room. 
Only he (Bill) for some reason is chewing on the door 
pen and trywrite a new version   
MS-DOS, but it has nothing 
it turns out because the psychos are from the ward 
on the left they always interfere with him.  I myself 
I am developing WINDOWS for RK-86, 
work is going well (Bill is helping). 
    Okay, bye, otherwise I’ll skip the cycle 
regeneration and the bed will fall apart.         

Share your thoughts about the article