Humor - Brief report from the celebration of the New Year by the Smash team.

Mysic by: ALOS(JNR)/SPARK               
                                        
7ex7 bY : gRuNgE                       
kOr? bY : mIgH7y                       
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  HOW WE CELEBRATED THE NEW YEAR!!!    
                                        
        Brief report from the spot        
            military operations             
                                        
 List of those present:         
                                        
         1) Computer peoplez :          
 ---------------------          
                                        
 Smash Memberz :             
                                        
 Mightyai ( он же Mighty Hacker )        
 Thrash                                 
 Cашулай ( Более известен как Sashulya )
 Грюнж   ( Подпольная кличка Grunge )   
 Hawk                                   
 Rimlen                                 
                                        
          Обычные ПЦ- юзеры :           
                                        
 Акся                                   
 Леха                                   
                                        
             2) Смертные :              
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 Веселый Миша %-)))  Adventurer                           
 Max                                   
Slava                                  
 Vadik                                  
                                        
                                        
                                        
 The time of this event was
scheduled, oddly enough, for the night between
12/31/97 and 01/1/98 years.  As
guardian apartment was chosen
habitat Sashuli - small one-
room apartment with all amenities
inside ( telephone outside :-[ ) , find-
living in an ordinary five-story building
Shchevsky times. (If dear
the reader could find himself in this wonderful
place, then his experienced eye would undoubtedly
noticed the dilapidated building of Cebac-
Topol Polytechnic College,
where your venerable man occasionally visits
servant and author of this report'a. Finding-
the huts nearby are nothing else,
like a street with a romantic name"
Grushevka " - habitat of the bug-eyed
old women who are often frightened by students
you are the above-mentioned educational institution,
those who come here will kill themselves with a plan, so that at least
somehow soften the heavy burden of studying. ) 
                                        
 Organizer  this solemn if
you can put it this way, dinner came from heaven
well-knownMightyandGrunge.After half-
agreement on the provision
dens  Sashulya preparations have begun
full power.                            
                                        
 The main problem, as always, is
elk begging from merciful dads and
mothers of cute colored pieces of paper, in
kind of called hryvnia. After successful
concert in front of parents cunning youths
ran away from home so that at the appointed hour
arrive at the wholesale market to score
your bags with all sorts of useful things
like sausage, mayonnaise, sprouts and other
some exotic representatives
gastronomy. Sneaky adventurist and Vyaches-
love thanks to incredible tricks they stole
parents have a total of about 15
kgpotatoes, as is known to be the main
new food not only for the bourgeoisie, but also for
poor students (on holidays.) Follow-
should be mentioned that when all the containers were
filled with all kinds of strong drinks
drinks ( Fuel ), and it’s time to
bathe morning drink -beer, we have come
confused: what was available
us at prices (And, as luck would have it, these pro-
there were not enough hard hryvnias) it was absolutely
but unknown to us. Having resorted to the most
the correct method - testing, we, drinking straight
there are several bottles on the cloud, they were quickly found
the right type of beer from all the variety
cheap assortment. It should be noted
that this operation significantly increased
morale and mood of those responsible for
purchasing groceries.                      
                                        
 Having bought everything that has not yet been bought and
having overcome the pre-New Year bustle, people
began to pull himself up to the meeting place
th noble holiday, while riveting
attracting the attention of strict old women introlleybus with the ringing of beer and wine-vodka-
nal products in multi-ton bags.       
                                        
 However, those who arrived at the desired place were waiting for
there are two not particularly pleasant news: per-
The idea was thata miracle box,
which conveys congratulations to the redhead
There will be no Kuchma.Slava broke us off with ka-
measure, since his parents meanest
way they ruined the whole topic for us and decided
filming for the New Year yourself. MoreSashulya
smiling sweetly looking at us kindly
eyes said that those who will boil
sew, get hit in the eye without warning
and wake up on the first of the month with a black eye.
After such a message, the mood will change
to grow to glory (not to Glory!) increased-
was read three times - that’s how it works, so what
The more forbidden, the more you want. (
For reference: at the previous
Smash Destroy'em all party from the balcony of Sa-
the shulina's apartments were thrown out of all kinds
Possible tools for locksmiths - keys
for large nuts, hammers and files
Then at six o'clock in the morning the people woke up
Married by screams  Hawk  was able to contemplate
grandmother, who collected all the thrown awaytools into your bag without turning them around
not the slightest attention to Sashulya’s screams,
ran from the meeting place at a speed not
less than 15 km/h. How I swore later
poor Sashulya, when he broke down
some kind of garbage in the bucket on the toilet: him
I had to unscrew the nuts by hand,
paradise with huge calluses. )         
                                        
 Misha, Slava and Lekha were harnessed to clean
potatoes - to this they owed their
ability to cook.  The rest did not
cunning sandwiches, swept the floor, on
which Sashulai likes to spit sunflower seeds on
leisure.  Me, Hawk'a and Aksya naively
came to my house forblack and whitetelevision
with an eye Considering that this sample is re-
cutting-edge developments of domestic in-
industry weighs about 30 kg, and go to
me at least 30 minutes one way, then
it will not be difficult to understand why we
how many times in a row have you walked around the house
They reported that they didn’t give us a TV set.        
                                        
 Well, I had to celebrate the New Year withoutpresidential chatter and "Old songs
about the main thing - 3 ". The first traditional toasts
were dedicated to congratulating us and our
friends, including friends
 Spectrum.  Appearance
 the company's favorite - identified
 who gave Thrash was
 was met with a storm of emotions.
 After the first
 10 kg potatoes were
 were destroyed, and the faces were
 gentlemen present for-

 the time has come to immortalize
 honoring this event -
 taking advantage of the
 Japanese womenuskog-
 the company's knowledgeable engineers
 "Kodak", we did not
few wonderful pictures.  Soon, to universal
Unfortunately, Thrash  dumped it on another
hut - to your old friends. hours by
it was only half past nine, but the fun
Somehow it fell asleep.                           
                                        
 The situation was saved by Sashul, who, having pulled out
like a magician from the locker, pre-packed
hay boxes of the cherished plan loaded
he was in an extraordinary state Mighty,hell
venturer, Lekh, Max, and, of course,
I didn’t forget about myself. Truly crystal
This man of pure soul is Sashulya!       
                                        
 The plan was knocked out Mightyalmost instantaneously
but...  His face became smooth, in the best
traditions AGA-shnyh demos, change color from
red to blue.  When it is finished
really turned blue (blue), his legs
gave way and he fell onto the bed
Sashuli.                                 
                                        
 Sashul,who during this time managed to
lie on the floor near the window, transformed
right before our eyes: he looked like a
a walking Siberian cat who is warming himself
near the battery, narrowing his kind eyes,
he hummed something under his breath.           
                                        
 The adventurer  had to catch up - at
this time the bulbulator did its job -
Sanya began to laugh wildly looking at the mu-
Zhizhkov from "North and South", in which
we played with Aksey.                      
                                        
 When the lovers of the plan were allowed, we
sat down at the table - for the benefit of the products for -
grazed a lot.  Blinking well, for some reason notallowed, he continued to lie on the bed with
eyes closed.                      
                                        
 Meanwhile, Misha was really lucky.
Having kissed Sashulya, he went along
talk with  Rimlen  about which is cooler
Amiga or PC ? Realizing that I am against Misha
you can't trample with your bare hands, Roma started
solder Misha, without noticing that he is drinking
nope.                                   
                                        
 There was about a half left until the New Year
ra hours...                             
                                        
 Somewhere around eleven, Mightyay woke up.
After taking a shower, combing your hair, putting on makeup and
having carried out other standard procedures with
with his toilet he sat down at the table and destroyed
ate a considerable amount of sprats        
                                        
 Suddenly a heartbreaking scream was heard.
The first thought is that someone fell out ofwindows.
Running into the room to the shouts of "Come on,
bastard!  I'll destroy them right now, bitches! ", I
I saw Roma and Slava falling down laughing
it turns out it was Misha who screamed he was clearly
killed once in "Freddy Hardest" by
the reason for the inoperability ofKempston.  
                                        
 The first minute199811 people,own
who were staying in Sashulinaapartment, met
with a wild cry that caused them to burst
glass, TV screens and collapsed
walls in nearby apartments. All this
accompanied by artillery cannonade
on the street: explosions, congratulations and screams
falling from the windows mixed into one whole,
and in the soul of each of those present
It has become easy and pleasant here.            
                                        
 Congratulating with voices hoarse from screams
each other, kissing and hugging,
We scattered to different ends of the apartment.
                                        
 Entering the kitchen I saw a bloodied man
Misha, who tried to clean the remaining
I have a portion of potatoes, but instead
whittled his fingers. Taking him to the room
the one closer to his admirer - Blink,
I returned to the kitchen to eat about
10 chocolate bars,accidentally discovered-
in my bagSlava.However, soon
I was joined by Sashulai, and, I must say,
So, work on destroying chocolate
went with renewed vigor.                
                                        
 Soon they left usSlava andVadik,swa-
walk on foot to another hut located
on the other side of town.  In minutes
twenty leftAksya andMax to friends, live-
those nearby.  The bed and sofa were
busy with snorersRimlen, SashulyaandLe-
hoy.CheerfulMisha sat quietly on the balcony,trying to empty your stomach by
sticking two fingers into the depths of the organ-
nizma. The adventurer passed with enthusiasm
demo version of "Plutonium". I, Hawk and
Mightyai  retired to the kitchen with a hard
with the intention of writing some text
for the demo "Happy New Year",but besides
lines "Hello, I'm Hawk, I'm sober, where
my smoke? " we are nothing smarter at that moment
cop didn't come up with...                    
                                        
 I wanted to eat, but half-peeled Misha
they forgot to fill the potatoes with water;
as a result of which she took some kind of
strange bluish-black tint. Someone
with a smart look he said that there is such a thing
You can’t, you’ll get poisoned. The potatoes were thrown out. B
As a result, I ate pasta for the first time in my life
Exotic for the New Year!                
                                        
 We turned off the computer and went to bed.
I, Xabk and Adventurer lay down on the floor, on
two pillows.  The light remained on, but
I sleep like that, even after taking a certain
quantity FUEL'a couldn't - I had to get up
vat.  Having turned off the light, I jumped over
cutting the bodies lying on the floor made his way to
pillow and suddenly crashed into the table. Distributed
there is a roar, the sound of breaking crystals
tall glasses.  In the next apartment
the little girl screamed shrilly
ka.                                     
                                        
 Turning on the light, why Romame in a dream
promised to give pussy the next morning, I saw
that a plate of pasta fell on the front
Sid carpet Sashuli and crashed. Having collected
smelly pasta mixed with ketchup
from the floor and the faces of sleeping friends, I'm back
to the kitchen, where I could see Misha,
trying to fall asleep lying on the bare floor
resting his head on a stool. Mercifully
giving  a Mikhtyai bag Misha so that he could
telil, so as not to freeze especially important
organs, I went to bed with a crunch
advancing on the sleeping people.Flirty voices were heard in the dark room.
chuckles, occasionally interrupted by phrases like
"get your hands off my dick, blue-
fight!" In general, it became fun and I could sleep completely
I didn't want to. However, the foul fumes
emanating through the anus
present, soon put me to sleep - laugh-
the shaky cake and ketchup did their de-
lo.                                     
                                        
 I woke up from a roar - someone was trying
knock down the front door. Gathering all the will and
Grabbing the knife lying next to me, I mu-
fiercely went to deal with the scoundrels.
But I was lucky - they were just Aksya
with Max.                               
                                        
 Returning to the pillow, I noticed that...
some vile person took my place - it had -
XiaMisha,who is tired of sleeping on concrete
no.  Despite my menacing screams, he
completely refused to get off the pillow, we-
there is something absurd in a drunken delirium.
I had to go to bed fourth for two
pillows despite prejudices.       
                                        
 At four o'clock in the morning some buggers
upstairs they turned on pop music and woke me up.
I hit the wall viciouslyfoot. House for
wobbled. In the next room it started screaming again.
the little girl was chatting. The music died down -
my blow had no effect on our neighbors
a lasting impression - their company has become
la go home quietly whispering -
trying not to make us angry.            
                                        
 Around seven o'clock I woke up due to
that Sashulya began to prepare tea, when
this rattling objects of the cook's arsenal -
la.                                     
                                        
 A long line had already formed near the toilet.
turn, the most impatient unbearable
they fled to the balcony in hellish torment.            
                                        
 Looking at yourself in 
mirror I was horrified: 
mineblue-green 
face covered with nasty 
acne - that's what happened 
five eaten yesterday 
chocolate bars. Nako- 
Finally it's time 
in a bucket;   emptying 
I noticed my stomach, 
that pouring out of the me- 
I took the liquid 
color of yesterday's invitation - 
ta.   After washing, I re- 
he used a handkerchief and with emotion
I saw New Year's pasta on it,
flew out of my nose.               
                                        
 The sleep-deprived crowd went home,
having arranged a meeting at Sashuli in the evening
in order to finish the remaining food.        
                                        
                                        
p.s. from MHR:                          
      If you want completelyfree-
     but  get foto with this Smash'ing
the liquid took 
color of yesterday's invitation - 
ta.   After washing, I re- 
he used a handkerchief and with emotion
I saw New Year's pasta on it,
flew out of my nose.               
                                        
 The sleep-deprived crowd went home,
having arranged a meeting at Sashuli in the evening
in order to finish the remaining food.        
                                        
                                        
p.s. from MHR:                          
      If you want completelyfree-
     but  get foto with this Smash'ing
     party, please send us your
     photo + write a little about your se-
     be and whose exactly  fotka you need
     (general/etc) We will definitely send you
     Vetim!!! We are waiting for letters!!!!!           
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