Ottyag - Insanity: 10 reasons why dinosaurs became extinct. 10 rivals for the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. 10 things that V. Van Gogh could not do. 10 things you can shout when sneaking up behind your grandfather. 10 things that would be stupid to say to someone who came to buy your house. 10 things you can give to a deaf relative.

 (C) Bogie of Extacy 3

   Senile
 ─────────────────────────────
   Taken from the book "Stupid Lists"

╔──────────── ───────────────────────────╗
│ 10 reasons why dinosaurs became extinct │
╚─────────────────── ────────────────────╝

 1. They all caught AIDS.
 2. The ancestors of V. S. Chernomyrdin came to
    head "brilliant" idea to hunt
    them out of sporting interest.
 3. They were all blue.
 4. There was too much cholesterol in their food
    Rina.
 5. They suffered from narcissism and did not replace
    chatted each other.
 6. The Tories are to blame for this.
 7. The Japanese are to blame for this.
 8. They worked too hard and ate too much.
    fatty foods and too much time
    spent in front of the TV.

 9. They smoked 60 cigarettes a day.
10. They lived near a primitive nuclear power plant
    stations and all their young ones picked up
    blood cancer


╔──────────── ───────────────────────────╗
│ 10 rivals for the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles  │
╚─────────────────── ────────────────────╝

 1. Elderly radioactive ocelots -
    Kungfuists.
 2. Those who have not reached puberty are irradiatedvaluable wild animals, addicted to
    Jiu-Jitsu.
 3. Disfigured teenagers sony-tabok-
    sulfur
 4. Karate badgers, marked with iso-
    pamy during menopause.
 5. Hot retired judokas-kangaroos.
 6. Elderly nuclear origami sheep.
 7. Toxic Guinea pigs with black
    with belts who are already over thirty.
 8. Limping idiotic samurai lice.

 9. Prematurely aged half-dead
    kamikaze shrews.
10. Underdeveloped plutonium bison hitachi.


╔──────────── ───────────────────────────╗
│ 6 alternative names for Friday, │
│ if Robinson Crusoe met │
│  it on another day  │
╚─────────────────── ────────────────────╝

  Monday Saturday
   Thursday Sunday
   Tuesday Wednesday

╔──────────── ───────────────────────────╗
│ 10 things that I couldn't do │
│ Vincent Van Gogh  │
╚─────────────────── ────────────────────╝

 1. Count to two using your ears.
 2.Make full use of the player.
 3. Hold more than one brush behind yours
    ears.

 4. Wear dark glasses, and in such a way that
    they sat upright.
 5. Wear earrings in both ears.
 6. Impersonate someone with two
    ears.
 7. Earn the nickname "Cheburashka".
 8. Hand on heart, say that
    he never mutilated his head.
 9. Smile from ear to ear.
10. Discuss the quality of stereo recording.

╔──────────── ───────────────────────────╗
│ 10 things you can shout  │
│  quietly creeping up behind  │
│  to his grandfather  │
╚─────────────────── ────────────────────╝

 1. Wow! (pretending to be a ghost)
 2. You are going to die now, russian soldier.
 3. Get your money, old man!
 4. Grandfather! Faster! Your ass is on fire!
 5. Rhinos! Rhinos!
 6. Air raid alert! Get down guys!
    Get down!

 7. Grandpa! They call from the hospital, they want
    pick up your pacemaker.
 8. Grandpa! Your catheter is leaking!
 9. They found you! Run!
10. Grandma died!

╔──────────── ───────────────────────────╗
│  10 things that would be stupid  │
│  tell the person who came to buy │
│ your home  │
╚─────────────────── ────────────────────╝

 1. Sorry for the confusion: there's only
    that he was a psychic.
 2. How we laughed when we found out that
    The guys from Na-Na used to live here.
 3. I heard that ground rent
    will soon grow by 12%.
 4. I'll give it to you for a hundred grand.
 5. Rats? It's too wet for them here!
 6. After the fifth robbery we decided
    that we've had enough.
 7. This is ? A!  We think it's bloody
    stain.

 8. A gang of Chechens lives nearby.  They
    they shoot occasionally, but that's enough
    nice guys.
 9. Get lost!
10. Try not to lean on that one over there.
    wall - it can collapse.



╔──────────── ───────────────────────────╗
│ 10 things that you can give  │
│  to a deaf relative  │
╚─────────────────── ────────────────────╝

 1. Issue of the magazine "What Hi-Fi".
 2. Large auditory tube with a beautiful
    ornament.
 3. Talking parrot.
 4. Sting's new album.
 5. Cell phone.
 6. Doorbell with a pleasantsound.
 7. Audio cassette recording of the performance
    Frederick Forsythe's novel "The Day of the Shaka"
    la".
 8. Guide dog.

 9. Alarm clock.
10. A balloon that needs to be attached
    go to the ass so that the ball signals
    zigged him when he farted!


╔──────────── ───────────────────────────╗
│  10 most common ones  │
│ items that are removed from  │
│ natural human holes │
│  bodies in the emergency room  │
╚─────────────────── ────────────────────╝

 1. Zucchini, greased with grease.
 2. Flashlights with rubber handles.
 3. Souvenir models of the Eiffel Tower.
 4. Tubes of shaving cream (half-length)
    well empty).
 5. Umbrellas (half open).
 6. Cop batons.
 7. Rolling pins.
 8. Rolled up TV programs
    transmission (Oh I, das ist fantastic!)
 9. Light bulbs.

10. Hands (still attached to their
    confused owners).

         ──────────────────────── 

     Yesss... As they say - insanity is growing stronger
chal. Now indulge in some dough. By the way,I came up with it myself.


     (C) Fedorov "Chasm" Vladimir