Sinclair Town #02 31 декабря 1994

Юмор

Ha hacker - "Quotes" individual members are constantly dying out of class - the military.

           HA-HACKER



   Today, as you probably already
read in the introduction, in our
Journal dominates soldier
theme.

   As a result of brief search
According to our archives to white light
was recovered represented
lower creation, containing the
"Sayings" of individual
representatives are constantly dying class - MILITARY.

   I think all of you wondering
will read the data "Aphorisms"
and meet with folk
This definitely talented
people.

   From a promise that the
Our direction will be maintained and further, since now
We have our own "army" correspondent.



       APHORISMS OFFICERS

        SOVIET ARMY
(RUSSIA ALSO - Check)

    ----------------------

 1. You're not here - here you
rapidly wean vodka drunk and outrageous to violate.
 2. The command "END" occurs
the dark.
 3. Patrol vehicle is sent
forward at the visual
memory.
 4. Signal for the attack - three green
whistle.
 5. Dig a trench from me and to
lunch.
 6. Tanks come in small
groups of two or three people.
 7. Our work is not worth a damn penny.
 8. Here, as in war - killed
commander, took a different machine.
 9. Live like pigs in the den.
 10. Sergeant! You orderly
Swifts do not, your ears hang.
 11. Short rushes of
me to the next oak.
 12. If you do not like these
fees, you will arrange more than others.
 13. The battalion commander on foot
does not walk, he takes with him
GAZ-63 or zampoteha.
 14. Groundhog image leads a life
fellow students!
 15. Boots should be cleaned in the evening and morning to put 
on a fresh head.

 16. You are students or where?
 17. Now I will deal properly and will punish anybody.
 18. After firing, combat and training ammunition must
be presented in its original state.
 19. Tomorrow we have sessions on
VAP. Dress code - no weapons.
 20. Report the presence of people!
Who is not all that punish.



 21. Or you stop smoking
or one of two things.
 22. When the cadets call it
should stand up and blush.
 23. Each student must be
either encouraged or punished.
 24. In the next lesson will be
some increase in the content
volume of work.
 25. What are you mate swearing like
small children.
 26. You look at me! Where I
normal, and where and merciless.
 27. How do you build! Run
one by one.
 28. We can not always break, it is necessary to
something to sit.
 29. The value of the sine in the military
time can be up to four.
 30. What you as friend
student? Here are a major
worth it.
 31. You hope that you are on
exam will deliver a triple? Put, but you better not of this
be.
 32. Shut up! Or I'm going to
behave brutally!
 33. Hey, you three! Go to both
me, I tell you!
 34. What are you, fellow student,
a rough square painted? Are you colorblind?
 35. What do you for toenails
grow? Like an eagle, though on
trees manhole.
 36. All missing to build a single file!
 37. The head of the soldier to think, and brains - to think.
 38. Coniferous forest burns better
than woody.
 39. You are here or what? You
here how or where? And do not
intelligent person, do not forget that you
future officers.



 40. This is not England - dig
should be deeper.
 42. Take the statutes and rewrite all of them.
 43. The command "Ale" is executed
run.
 44. If you'll wander - Pushcha
rocket.
 45. Close your mouth - panties visible.
 46. Well, how goes, as go! Cow some! A pig, maybe.
 47. All our troubles because the top button
undone.
 48. Now I have from my childhood
child appeared.
 49. The larger the numbers, the more
not necessary.
 50. It is fraught with you sideways.
 51. Do not pull on rubber in the long
box.
 52. Platoon! Back to back
in a checkerboard pattern on the diagonal
gets!
 53. How do you go? The impact must
be simultaneous - under section
boot mate.
 54. Company! For the garbage in the bath
gets!
 55. Steering is
to turn right, left and
other parties.
 56. In the army all the monotonous
everything is cut, painted and planted sand.
 57. Automatic place on the knee
left hand.
 58. What do you sleep while standing on the move?
 59. Here you will find there.



 60. Sore throat? Learn the statutes -
ill will.
 61. In the company of seven slobs, and
you wear your hair parted in the middle.
 62. Fighting sheet must be
Martial piece, it's the same battle piece!
 63. The platoon went to the edge of the trees.
 64. Home - half the battle, the end -
around the head!
 65. Then one came up comedian,
asked whether this can be replaced
in fact, I told him - no. At first there, then here.
 66. The commander said the ferret -
means a ferret, and no gophers!
 67. Advocate for the evening
dawn.
 68. Fellow student, if you
want to say something, then
better to be silent.
 69. Fellow student, if you
moron, then say so, and there is nothing
a gun rack.
 70. Shut up, I ask you!
 71. First, will the people, and then we'll go.
 72. That you approached me with
these hands, with your feet!
 73. Whatever I have one personal
composition of the barracks ever seen!
 74. Cadet, pull out the hand of every
mouth!
 75. Would bring you into the open field, put a face to the 
wall and put a bullet in the forehead with two queues!

 76. Are you stupid? Remember me
can not you? Record, then I
after burn.
 77. I do not know how it should be,
but you are doing is wrong!
 78. Nuclear bomb always hits the epicenter.
 79. Stop there, listen here!



 80. Left big toe feet.
 81. Fellow student! You are like unto the ostrich African 
birds, which from the height of his flight does not see the 
general line party.

 82. Highly classified document
burn before reading.
 83. Do not drink much water, otherwise
all the water will make you back
in the form of salt.
 84. Landmark: pine with birch
tip - a solitary tree in the
forest.
 85. Fellow student, why do you
came to school the military department in the army pants the 
most alleged enemy?

 86. We're going with a friend, used to
through a minefield, it is ahead
I'm back.
 87. After the war, Germany was
raschetvertovana into three equal
half.
 88. After meningitis either die or become fools.
My brother died, and I'm alive.
 89. If you are a fool and did not
Remember, you set up an address book, so this, as I have.
 90. At the Institute you can walk even in bras, but before
military department you owe them
removed.
 91. Our task - to make
you young and inexperienced devushekstudentok - skilled and 
knowledgeable their business female radio operators. This

I'll do all of our officers
department.
 92. Mind you can not shine
But with his boot shine is required.
 93. Tank - a strong anti-drug.
 94. Bush - a collection of twigs sticking out of one location.
 95. Silent as a fish on the ice.
 96. The tank M tonnes. No
those bastards hard, the best K.
 97. The boiling point of water
tank - 90 degrees. No, 90
degrees - a right angle.
 98. Thing to do.
 99. I have someone telling you.



 100. Now you're in plaid shirts, and it comes time, change
them in a khaki cap.
 101. Now you are looking out
Window audience and the time will come
and you look out the window entrusted
your tank.
 102. That's where the dog fumbled.
 103. That fell from the cart, that is not
cut down with an ax.
 104. Why do you have here are found
rats and other insects?
 105. Ranging Kalashnikov assault rifle is on target,
which is a plywood
square of black paper measuring 20 by 30 inches.
 106. Fellow student! How does your
name? Polovinkin? That's when
is an integer, then contact with a report.
 107. - This device saves the
its operation at temperatures up to minus 500 degrees
Celsius.

      - Comrade Major, but the absolute zero - minus 273 
degrees! 

      - We'll announce the most
new, secret information.
 108. Inscribe an ellipse in a box
draw a tangent at an angle
45 degrees to the diameter. What do you
laughs! This technique has long
already in the United States enjoy.
 109. 'll Throw you on the ground, and you go to square the 
circle.  110. In connection with the renovation of cafeteria 
food will get through anus.

 111. Imagine that you are in an open field, and then around 
the corner leaves the tank. Your actions?  112. Our department 
has purchased a computer. Now the officers of our department

planned to be 500,000 of strategic operations per second.
 113. Fellow students who are not afraid to work with radiation 
sources. It is quite safe. For example, some officers sailors 
bezvylazno, 3 - 4 years on nuclear submarines sit, but this 
time their wives give birth to perfectly healthy children

!
 114. Well, drank a glass of, well, two,
maybe three, in the end - a bottle or two, but why get drunk?
 115. Fellow students! When
detection of outbreaks of nuclear
explosion most importantly - it is to turn his back to
steel with a bayonet is not dripping on the organs of 
reproduction, or state-owned boots.  116. If a man sings it 
either drunk or a moron.

 117. Look in the nightstand, and
where sneakers are knee-deep in mud.
 118. Why do people in the storeroom, and
no one?
 119. - Orderly, that for stink
in the barracks?

       - Comrade Colonel, to
You do not stink!



 120. In the army, all in parallel and
perpendicularly.
 121. My name - Major Rep'ev!
 122. And with 17 hours of snow will
to clean the Communists.
 123. Do not make me deny
your future children's father!
 124. - Up to this height crawl
zigzadom!

       - Do not zigzadom and zigzag, Comrade Major!

       - How do I tell you, and crawl!
 125. Mayor does not run as a
peacetime running major causes laughter, and in the military - 
a panic.  126. Late for work, I

stood on the tram, as on toasted
nails.
 127. What! Where were you? In the toilet? You would have went 
to the theater!  128. Orderly! Why do you have

boots in the hallway talking about?
 129. So, I ask you three.
I will not allow themselves to terrorize!
 130. At your age, I imagine
boots, legs up ass wiped!
 131. Fellow students! I have to
sent to you from the troops, and in
Troops fools do not hold.
 132. Will be dismissed - not
Meet with strangers
people.
 133. Before you leave
part, think in two directions: whether it is safe and
Do you garrison.
 134. When authorities arrived, the commander of the squadron 
with foaming at the mouth (with or without foam, it is

depends on how it relates to their official duties), is worn on 
the airfield.  135. Form of sport - panties and

slippers. Who does not - and boots
T-shirt.
 136. Here you go to camp, and
Your mother will be on my chest, sobbing.
 137. If war starts, I
you will not be.
 138. Honor a lot, Mom fattened on sausages and cream!
 139. - Fellow student, why
you have a beard?

       - I want to be like
Hero of the Soviet Union Kunitskii.

       - After 10 minutes, if you please
to be like Colonel Novikov.



 140. Not sure what to write in
battle sheet? Two - three little notes, ribbon, breast
tearing, here a naked woman and
inscription: "Humor".
 141. When the signal "Air
anxiety "department hiding in
gap. Do not worry, this is not the
slot, which you here do not
missing.
 142. In the Chinese army, together with
tactical maneuvers "around" and
"Coverage" came up with another one: infiltration in small 
groups numbering a million.  143. Dig, like a pig in

oranges, do not know where the edge
but where is the end!
 144. But in laboratory studies
start the game: one in the oscilloscope looks, and the other 
side cards.

 145. You're from the Stone Age, and I
of wooden.
 146. You have a sense of humor of the Stone Age:
came, came, fell, broke, and he was standing and holding his 
stomach!  147. Wheel - it is the wheel, and there is nothing to 
it cool!  148. I have seen - and back?

Perhaps you'd better scarecrow
supply?
 149. - Ivanov!

      - Here!

      - And where did you get away with
submarine?
 150. Each fold on soldatstkom quilt - it is a loophole
for the agents of world imperialism.
 151. - You do not think that I can not hear anything, I hear - 
150 percent!


      - (A cadet in a whisper) Yes
75 percent in one ear and 75 -
to another.
 152. Boy - this is the only
means to achieve victory in
battle.
 153. Take a rake and metite.
 154. The Charter is not a dogma but a guide to action.
 155. Fence for two days fell
so still worth it.
 156. Billion - a huge
sum as a hundred million.
 157. Your responsibilities at the operational duty are in
maneuvering between the bucket with
water, electric kettle and
officer.
 158. That you no longer occupies:
what I say, or a dead pigeon, which flies over the dining room?
 159. At the command of "equals
Maker turns right.



 160. Do not send a gun to people, even if it is loaded.
 161. Girls who can not salute, two steps forward!
 162. Do not shake the muzzle face!
 163. What are you limping? Give birth
what-if, met?
 164. Having heard the barking of a dog patrol, time duplicate 
his voice.  165. All of the trenches, and the rest of the

me!
 166. Do not spit into the well, will fly
- No catch! (Authors - missilemen)
 167. - Now go to ship
alyuminum.

       - Do not alyuminum, and aluminum!

       - And who helluva lot of smart, will ship the iron!
 168. Step right, step left -
attempt to escape, jump on
location - a provocation!
 169. Goose, pig, not a hindrance.
 170. Face cadet should express sorrow and thoughtfulness.
 171. What you write, comrade
soldiers? Are you smart or what?
 172. Do not spit into the well until
pereprygnesh.
 173. When I was a cadet and
wanted to read, I got up through the
Half an hour after curfew, he took the book
and walked with her to the toilet.
 174 .- Comrades cadets as
your name?

     - Ivanov, Petrov, Sidorov!

     - Are you, brethren?

     - No, namesakes.
 175 .- The plant, let's go!

     - Do not start!

     - Okay, let's go, then zavedesh.
 176. Meet at the wooden
stone.
 177. You have all the girls, buns and cream!
 178. Found a fool! I'm for you
their work will not do.
 179. What do you have per-view, Comrade
student? Pants are not smooth, boots not been cleaned, not 
shaven face - as five!




 180. Ellipse - a circle inscribed in a square of 3 x4.
 181. Cadet! You have one ear
listen to me and others see
the window.
 182. That you broke as a horse? Your language is not to knock?
 183. I open my locker, and on
I look a mess!
 184. Close the window, as follows from
buckets!
 185. ... Will wear white beacons,
black pants, roll up your sleeves
and flee ...
 186. So where do we start? Let's start from the beginning.
 187. On the formation of groups: that
Part I of separating themselves, will take to deal with Valeria
Ivanovich.
 188. You could not stay
notebooks, they were secret notebook.
 189. Military training there and in other countries,
including - foreign.
 190. Stand on this flank,
what he is right or left, yet difficult to say.
 191. Soldiers without boots, sneakers - and this happens 
because military boots are very poorly designed for wearing on 
your feet  192. For the destruction of military

property in time of war -
death penalty.
 193. ... And now, about ecology:
how much can poison the branch on
where we sit?
 194. - What are you doing here?

       - Paint.

       - Well Draw, draw, Paganini.
 195. Roth, on their bellies running
Go!
 196. Forest is impassable
for the tank, if the thickness of a tree in
3 times the weight of the tank.
 197. Roth, wider step! Why
ass is not singing?
 198. When in our dining room will be normal human eggs
?
 199. Mouth while performing the song
open to the width of the butt.



 200. - You are still young, you
all in front.
 201. Determine the distance between three points.
 202. Do not make noise, and then cooled tea!
 203. This leads to big loss
casualties.
 204. Here you are mate swears, and then by the same hands
'll eat bread.
 205.
Captain:

     - I do condescension
looking at your untrained.
Student:

     - And young ...

     - No! Youth you
no more!
 206. Cadet, dressed not in form, destroys the hierarchical
force structure.
 207. Guys, here you are talking, and I have power running out!
 208. Duty:

     - Platoon, stand up! Attention!

     Major:

     - Ischo still, comrades.
 209. Trajectory is from
itself, the curve line.
 210. - The command "Attention" should at least take his hands 
from his pockets. Why do you have your hands in your pockets? 

     - So after all cold!

     - What do you think my hands are warm cap?
 211. At any time, day or night.
 212. As you begin to wake up
military man, what you say is absolutely impossible to 
understand.  213. With a student who does not

mastered concepts such as "so
accurately "and" does not "do not talk about anything.
 214. Secret signal that
Everybody knows it.
 215. Language is closed!
 216. Mouth closed, tongue swallow
!
 217. The reorganization affected
Division and other kinds of troops.
 218. Person in the photo must
be square.
 219. Why are you lying here, Your
place here - not here.



 220. The machine works like this: time
two, three - and you do not.
 221. Eliminate this shortcoming, as hair.
 222. All buttons must be
sewn tightly as a barrier.
 223. Grooming should be like
me: back bare, and in front
as the rear.
 224. Now I'll give you a fun
and you will feel the stick at its
head.
 225. Drill - a
as a ballet.
 226. Colonel - a double major.
 227. Murder will out,
it still pops out.
 228. Time should be extended narasstoyanii shot
from each other.
 229. Whiskers grow a little, it is necessary
still work to do.
 230. Stop the concert - you do not
scarecrow.
 231. Engineers - designers!
You still need to develop themselves.
 232. There are no toilets and latrines.
 233. With you interesting to talk when you are silent.
 234. From classes in military affairs
you will have the title.
 235. I ordered the placing all
puddles on the parade ground, to allow officers to
the way home, do not urinate.
 236. Put a barrier or
Major explanatory.
 237. You stand there, from corner to corner
and silent as a fish on the ice.
 238. As the drum does not sound a trumpet - all
well nothing will.
 239. We must look not with the eyes
and the chin rotated.



 240. Smaller pieces - it is easier to play.
 241. And they both went well and send.
 242. Communication should be there,
and vice versa.
 243. Comrade Major, you're not captain Petin?
 244. 15 minutes before the program
"Time" and turn the TV to warm up.
 245. Orderly! You've got
the amount of paper that did not occur
fits.
 246. You will shoot on film and cinema.
 247. Comrade soldiers! Today
on the door of a locker is found
Nude woman. Forces outfit, we
it ripped and thrown into the toilet. Who do not believe - can 
go and is satisfied.

 248. I'm always going to reduce the
through my fingers, but now if I
someone for something to catch it
will be his end.
 249. You have my word on pruning.
 250. Fellow student that you
for bedding at the neck sticks out?
 251. Fellow student, sit in
order!
 252. My last name begins with
"X" and ends with "J", but this
not about what you all thought.
 253. Look into my eyes,
as you tighten the belt?
 254. You have too much lead.
 255. Empty tables.
Living space you there
will be necessary.
 256. On the thief and the cap hurts like.
 257. Sergeant, why do you single in the classroom in droves
on the parade ground roam?
 258. Who is asleep, damn face? Bastard, at least!
 259. We have created all the conditions
that must be overcome to
become a real officer.



 260. I have hair on you
climbs on end.
 261. - Are you the smartest?

      - Who, me?

      - Well, I'm not the same!
 262. Why do you have whiskey below
ears?
 263. Here you are sitting, and your sergeant on honor roll
detach.
 264.

       - Warrant Officer, and Stick your
see whether the signal
rotation.

       - Works, does not work
working, not working ...
 265.

       - Ensign, damp
Diesel!

       - M-th-th-th-th-th-th-th
 266.

       - Ensign, stop
Train!

       - A train stop, once, twice!
 267.
 Ensign want to drink
some water, but go to the tap was
laziness. Then he called the ordinary,
gave him a glass and asked to fetch water. But the soldier also 
was too lazy to go and he said, turning the glass upside down:  
- Comrade Lieutenant, here the bottom No!

 - And the truth - said Ensign -
Look, neck and soldered!
 268.
 - Comrade Major, your command is executed!
 - I did not order.
 - I did and did not!
 269.
 Ensign bought a digital watch. Goes through the city. Fits
him boy:
 - Uncle! How long?
 - Seventeen divided into fifteen.
 - How much would it be?
 - Sam Delhi, I'm tired!
 270.
 - ....
 on the APC installed portable radio.
 - Tell a portable radio on lamps
or semiconductors?
 - I repeat, portable radio on the APC.
 271. Restaurant. Sitting drunk
Major board, buried in a mug
a plate of jellied meat, and bring forth
bubbles. Suited waiter:

       - Comrade Major expense.

       - And-and-again!
 272.
 - Sergeant! Build a platoon!
 - On the fuck?
 - Then do not.