Nicron #106 13 января 1999

Юмор

Humor - Once a Register new year. Nonsense.

Once the New Year


(R) Draws gathered Alexey Baranov.


   ... One man is asking for a long New Year with a friend, who 
decided to spend New Year's Eve with his family at his dacha in 
the woods. Familiar reluctantly agreed: "Wait for us on 
December 31 at 21.30 near the forest on the highway. We have a 
car, you capture." Obsessive friend was delighted and came to 
the appointed place. Two hours passed - no one. After another 
half an hour he begins to slow down passing cars, cursing 
furiously. Moreover, no one stops, and with every minute of 
machines becomes less and less. Zamerznuv finally, he goes to 
the nearby bushes to recover. Suddenly, lit candles and 
sparklers, from nowhere, appeared smiling owners give to their 
friends. Picking up on his hands guest, they carried it to the 
house, which was ... a hundred meters from the road.



   ... In the kindergarten set a festive presentation. One of 
the Young educators preparing for the holiday reluctantly - 
have already long time since the kindergarten physical 
education teachers were enemy number one. A young man once 
tried to reconcile with the girl, but always received a 
decisive rebuff. At the matinee teacher was supposed to be Baba 
Yaga. According to the scenario at the end of the submission 
Yaga falls to his knees and with all apologies to Santa Claus 
"for their crimes." The role of Santa Claus for a long time 
remained at issue and at all rehearsals woman apologized to the 
"air". What was surprising, "Baba Yaga" when the matinee in 
Santa Claus costume she saw before her ... sporty. But to do 
nothing. And then, kneeling, Yaga to beg forgiveness of the 
same, and did so sincerely, that the whole pedkollektiv 
kindergarten together applauded. A relationship two staff 
members so warmed, that they even ... married. 


   ... This young man decided to play a trick on her boyfriend, 
who has long been unable to find work in their professions - he 
was translator from Arabic. The man told a friend that in 
Khabarovsk in a prestigious company requires just know Arabic. 
Joker was surprised when "Arab" does not come to him on 
December 31 celebrate the New Year. A midnight rang out 
long-distance phone call. From the tube in addition to 
profanity heard the words: "This company in Khabarovsk does not 
exist!" It turned out that the hapless boyfriend calling from 
... Siberia. Who knew he really believe?



   ... Dressed Santa Claus and and made-up beyond recognition, 
the young couple went to play their friends. The same, having 
read that before the New Year flats under the guise of heroes 
go robbers and swindlers, Guests were fully armed. At first, 
seeing "the grandfather and granddaughter in peephole and 
opened the door for a long time. The guests were not going to 
go away, calling and knocking insistently. The hosts also so 
terrified that "not know" votes of their friends. And when, 
finally, Snow Maiden grandfather burst into the apartment, the 
first on himself took head of the family, the second - his wife 
and child. Once on "Granddaughter of Santa Claus" and poured 
the bucket of water with her tears, make-up, little Sasha 
shouted: "Mom, look, it's Aunt Lena!" And the mother replied 
calmly: "What are you, just do not understand? Stranger we 
would not opened.




            Congratulate!

(C) Alex Trofimov (2:50 / 521.73)


   Hi, fidoshniki!

   Soon, a can and a large screen of the day, the numbers will 
swap nA nA kalendare +1'. Maybe I'll be able svyazat these 
things event with these strokami, togda pozdravlyu vas ... 
Relatives of my (all-all-all and Winnie Vpuh) reppera and 
rokera, poets and philosophers, privetchiki and unjust, stylish 
and vulgar, diesel and single! Vas a pen and not opisat pisom 
not an opera! Vas tak a lot! Each time you personally but I 
want nalozh .. .. Ugh ... nazhelat in the coming year 
zaychika-pleyboychika takogo: zhelayu academic excellence, sea 
udachi dachi and the sea, do not be ill, not Drink! Zhelayu 
halyavy - is sacred! Zhelayu love - it halyava! Harod, zhelayu 
pridumat 100 new anekdotov, a fact they have not funny! 
Zhelayu! Zhelayu! Delayte everything to zhelanie not propadalo! 
I bet not poderetes? HAPPY NEW YEAR, years ... or HOW vas tam? 
Ubegayu I pora! Pakost naposledok: catch the snow - devchatam 
in cheek, patsany dodge! 

                        Vash ANTON.

Big P.S. Harod! In this year: the ignition of fires, paddock 
sobak, fishing and shooting wild game, vypas and pasture skota, 
a takzhe crawled snakes vyporos pigs, horses and vyzhereb 
vykobyl loshadey, scrape eggs hatched from the eggs of birds, 
vykukol babochek and muskrat muskrats, smoked chickens and 
vypryg Kangaroo obgad romashek, pulling berries, and cut down 
lesa and vylom branches zaytsa hunted down, think it is true 
vypug tetereva, exhalation vdoha, removal tela, you nas za nose 
- we vas on the ear, exhaust gazov, miscarriage musora, brood 
of geese, geek people vyplav stali, swim, sit, vypendr fraerov, 
a shot of Aurora, beg for money, vymushtr soldat, vytrus mats 
vypal from okna, riser children otters in gamakah, wipe your 
lips and staring glaz, vychih nasmorka, vytrep and razbreh 
gosudarstvennyh tayn, vykus nakosi and nakos vykusi, lambing, 
calving and atas, a glavnoe, zaglyad and zalaz a dupla to smoke 
the bees and ottuda rasprobom meda was banned and PREKRASCHEN ! 

   Davayte, drink tam za delat razreshenie it all!

                    Alex 'Lorn aka Anton!