Nicron #106 13 января 1999

Юмор

Humor - Saved coat.

        Under the chiming clock

(R) Helen Koltunova


            Saved Shub


   New Year's Eve December 31 193 ... year. Odessa Opera House. 
The Queen of Spades at the scene. The audience had already 
taken their seats in anticipation of the beginning of Act III. 

   The curtain dropped. Behind him is a preparation stage in 
the barracks. Middle of the stage director of the theater 
Boksin gives final instructions his assistant, Kushnir. Boksin 
already in heavy raccoon coat, which he is extremely proud of. 
He hurries toward the New Year. Remain in theater until the end 
of the play Boksin considers meaningless. 

   The right of the director and his assistant in the back of 
the stage - the countess, she is busy with the buckle of his 
shroud. On the left, tucked-legged feet, sits on the floor of 
the orchestra trumpeter Misyuk; had a stomach ulcer, and he was 
often forced to eat quickly absorbs a cheese sandwich. Pipe on 
which he has to play dawn of lies next to him. Suddenly, 
between bites of a sandwich Misyuk brings the pipe to his lips 
and plays dawn. Hearing the signal, which the curtain must go 
up, the duty firefighter clicks click the curtain, and 
fluttered to the audience reveals a scene with the four 
above-mentioned figures: the Countess, all the More 
vozyascheysya with their zippers, trumpet player with the 
protruding mouth sandwich and terrified turning to the audience 
and Boksinym Kushnir. First comes a Boksin. Cat shot up

up, he manages to grab the edge of the curtain. But the 
mechanism inevitably raises the heavy curtain higher and 
higher, now with Boksinym, tightly clung to him.


   - The curtain! - Hysterically screaming Kushnir. And then 
the fireman, realizing, finally, what's going on, switch the 
curtain in the emergency descent mode. All the heaviest mass 
Golovinsky masterpiece rapidly coming down. Horror encompasses 
the audience. Fortunately, meter or two before the mirror scene 
Boksin hanging twisted Komashko, decompresses the hands and 
body with the power swing in the direction of the orchestra. 
Another moment, and the general sigh of relief sweeps in the 
hall: Boksin, flying into the orchestra pit, hangs coat caught 
on a hook bracket, on which hung at one time an old lamp 
illuminating the orchestra.