Micro #23 17 декабря 1999

Maniac - phone banter over computer companies selling PCs.

                 Maniac



  Now at every step we find advertisements on which in large 
letters, black on white, it says "Computer Hardware, all the 
computers!" But few one of us thinks and what really

Computers offer us. Deciding to dot all the i's I took at 
random (almost random - the most colorful ad) and

by calling the data in the ad.

  -Hello.

  -Hello, - courtesy of my horse.

  -Hello.

  -I need a General Sound.

  -What is it? Musical card?

  Yes, only at the Spectrum.

  Wait, I'll call a specialist.

  Well, we had to wait several
seconds, the more that music in the tube
included, although my Wham and it sounds better.
And here is the specialist:

  -Hello, I'm listening.

  -I need a General Sound.

  -This is a musical card?

  Or is he a specialist or I'm an idiot.

  Yes, musical card, only to
Spectrum.

  A long silence, apparently remembers that
a Spectrum.

  -We do not have such things happen.

  Well-Spectrum compatible computers with
you have? Just more than 512 KB.

  No, this is not.

  -Well, there are Amiga?

  -What is it?

  Probably I did was stupid, because know nothing about 
specialization. 

  -This computer is. There are several
species Amiga 600, Amiga 1200.

  No, we do not have this.

  -And what do you have?

  -Celeron, Pentium II, Pentium 133 ...

  No, this does not interest me.

  At the same time we said goodbye.

  Okay, maybe I really oak.
I picked up the newspaper Privoz, chose the most colorful ad: 
"Computers for you and for all of your computers. Wide selection

components. And the company still quite well known, even 
advertised on television. And the name many people know. 
Vobschem Why pull - Elekomp TV. Without hesitation

dialed number. A pleasant female voice (presumably youthful 
secretary) replied: 

  -Hello. Elekomp TV listening.

  -I need a General Sound and the Amiga.

  This time I answered fairly quickly:

  -Wait a minute, I'll call a specialist.

  Well once again had to listen to the damn beeper PC'shny of 
the pipe, if I did not know melodies would never guess that the 
music he wrote once Charlie Chaplin. In my Chinese musical 
Christmas garland and a better sound. But is not the point. 
After a few seconds came a specialist! 

  -I need Amiga and General Sound by 1024
KB. - I blurted out in one breath.

  "What do you need? Omega?

  A-Amigo!

  -What?

  He must have bad hearing. Begin
speak in syllables:

  A-mi-ha!

  -Who manufactures this machine? (Though
does not ask what it is, but Dogadov)

  "Well, actually, recently Apple.

  -No. We have only to company computers ...
(Well, I do not remember the name). We collect them and
sell.

  -And that you still have?

  -What interests you?

  -I am interested in the Spectrum: Kay, Scorpion.

  -No such we have not.

  -Why, in your ad is written
"Computers for you and for all of your computers." Would write 
then simply "Computers PC" or just "IBM". 

  -What does the PC and IBM is not computers?

  -Computers. But in my notion of computers - is not only a PC. 
I have here a number of too, is a computer.


  -I do not know what you have there computer.

  Spectrum 128.

  Seconds of silence - there is information processing (wait 
for boot Windows). 

  -We basically Celeron'y.

  Then I felt a little sorry for him and I became
rasprashivat how much they cost Celeron:

  All right, let's say I want to monitor SVGA,
Celeron 400, the screw to 1.2 megabytes (well, I had no reason 
to screw more by volume). 

  -Neto have 1.2 MB. There are 10 gigabytes.

  All right, let it be 10 GB (although I'm with
it will do?).

  -Celeron 400 with monitor, 10 GB hard drive ... worth 5,016 
USD. 

  -Thank you - I said and hung up.

  So my dear computer people do not buy into the ads, "All for 
you and your computers." Know that in every such company has a 
specialist who always ask you what you want. And even there 
will be plenty surprised pocherpnuv from you as much useful 
information. Well, I round out this long, though not sure that 
these ads be rooted out. A because ... expect to continue.




          Alexander Vishnevsky. 16.12.1999