Think #30 09 августа 1999

Юмор

Nonfictional stories - Humorous stories.

          Nonfictional STORIES


          (From the collection of Lenin)



      Policeman from an American
 City was elected, the gentleman,
 because fined himself for
 Car parking in the wrong months those.


                *


      British divers are lifted from the bottom
 Sea submarine created around
 1880, the battery is still giving
 spark.


                *


      Columbia University Teachers versity made a quite unique 
concentration course: Whose abstracts of scientific articles 
will children the most concise. Won stu-dent naturalist John 
Smith, a sense of  humor kotorgo jury assessed on

 dignity. Smith's essay consisted of only
 one word: "Nonsense!"


                *


      Lived were two brothers, lived not grieve there, but 
that's only fame they do not hwa TALO. And in the Guinness book 
of records vanish were (after all, they weighed two hundred  
Keel's brother), and in the newspapers, all in vain.  They were 
upset and robbed a bank, then that  they have lucky - they got 
in the gas and the Zetas were from what they were unique 
GOVERNMENTAL robbers, who at first did not  could take away 
from the crime scene, so  they do not climb through a police 
machine well, and then had to release from prison  bail - 
prison beds were broken under  them, such as paper



                *


      December 5, 1664 near Cape Calais
 sank the British ship "Meney. From
 all the crew managed to escape only
 One sailor - Hugh Williams. Later
 exactly 121 years, 5 December 1785 about
 Cape Calais in a storm wrecked ang liysky ship. And once again 
survived  only one person that I ... zva Hugh Williams



                *


      The original method of punishment for changing traffic 
police in Rio De Janeiro  to those who violate parking rules 
tomobilya authors. If the machine is left in the direct model 
proposed location on the windshield slopes ivayut placard 
saying "Here, parking  prohibited !!!", are the same punishment 
is  that kleyut this poster with glue so that

 scrape it can only be after 3-4
 hours of intensive work


                *


      Once in a small African
 country, there lived a hapless player
 Golf. And once the ball was sent them broke
 glass lantern jet
 committing the run prior to takeoff. Pilot
 confused and the car crashed into four
 fighter, standing at the airport ...
 The culprit got off easy fright, sweat ryannym ball and small 
monetary fines FOM, and an African country was left without  
Air Force, which accounted for the four East rebitelya. 


      She graduated from the existence League
 Extravagant "because of the impossibility
 soblidat of its own statute:
 "... Full members of the League shall
 to go out dressed this way,
 to "shock the" decent public
 League of Gentlemen ...". hazhivali in
 ancient Greek tunic, in the form of Nicaragua guanskih 
generals and the Austro-Hungarian  Gendarmes and the president 
of the League from time to  time strolling in the tattoo zuluss 
one leader. Everything went fine - the audience  indignant, 
newspapers published photographs,  and members of the league 
conspired to new stock w ... But over time, and in connection 
with fashion,  onlookers stopped paying attention to

 enthusiasts of the league. League had samoras blank to be 
reborn in the form of "Lee Ki-keepers of the Victorian taste" 


                *


      Ethel Bersuord heard a loud noise
 on the left side of his car and wasps tanovivshis, asked the 
police to be able to understand it, whence comes cumbersome 
hot. Cursory vzglada was enough  to find the cause: the car was 
not  one wheel. Eighty Ethel

 Bersuord traveled more than ten kilometers ditch on three 
wheels, including loud  radio so as not to interfere with the 
noise. On  question, asking if she signs meetings nye drivers, 
she said that there were fed. But she believed that to her it 
is not worn on, as it always goes  carefully.



                *


      The first competition vsebritanskie
 by luring earthworms drew a one hundred participants. The 
essence of the form of a new sport (or hunting, as it is called 
 some) is that each  party to cut the lawn area

 area exactly nine square meters,
 and from this area should be collected within
 half the maximum number of worms.
 An interesting fact is that the winner
 the last two competitions no ho even be on adjacent sites, so
 as it is rumored that he was luring ce Be neighborly worms. 
This year, he became a champion again a wa, collecting 85 
worms. 


                *


      In 1986, Hong Kong filarmo Niya received a letter from 
the tax vedoms Twa, reminding them to pack latit taxes to those 
that passed Mali participated in the concerts given by phi 
Larmon, namely, Johann Sebastian  Bach and Camille Saint-Saens. 
As it turned out,  department officials have written off the 
names of these  "Taxpayers" with posters, reported

 that will be performed by the product of their best.


                *


   Every state and even city in the U.S. has
 its own set of laws and orders stresses, among which there are 
quite a bavnye. For example - 

   - In Ohio, is forbidden to transport
 passengers on the roof of a taxi.

   - In Cleveland, you can shoot soseds FIR chickens, provided 
that all the neighbors  within a radius of 15 meters do not 
mind. 

   - In Washington, are allowed in
 public transport aquarium algebra side, but only if "they 
behave  very quietly. "


   - In New York absolutely prohibits camping wash donkey in 
the bathtub 

   - In New Jersey prohibits napping in
 chair while shaving at barber


                *


      In New York there is an original
 Club - Club sluggish. " Club members
 adhere to two rules: no
 hurry up and "Better late than nikog yes." They are active in 
public uchasvstvuyut vennoy life, but do it with great  delay. 
Recently, members of the club goods Protestants against the war 
in 1812. After  closing of the World Expo, they

 organized a trip there. And always
 eat the cake, lying on the shelves
 longer laid them time


                *


      Finger on AOHK Italian Joe Kar Duccio possesses predict
 earthquakes and volcanic eruptions. Ms. VYa at the foot of 
Mount Etna, he once saved Ms. carriers town from its vagaries. 


                *


      46-year-old painter Arnie Bern is
 a long beard. But if the other case it belongs to decorate, 
then, for him, she - ra bochy tool. Tolley is for this reason,  
toli because Bern is really ho roshy artist, his paintings are 
narash vat. 

                *


      Charles Pryor being on Noah's hospitals in the Hamptons 
bed and read a newspaper  a description of his funeral. City 
authorities  could not give him a satisfactory

 explanations, and most importantly, find out whom
 Still buried.

                *

      93-year-old farmer Charles Osborne of
 Iowa hiccups for 65 years,
 with frequency, an average of 3 times per second.


                *


      In 1975, directors of photography
 "Earthquake" received an Oscar. Well
 what? And the fact that while watching a movie oschu schaetsya 
is the most earthquake. Of a special electron-acoustic device 
pa emits infrasonic waves, causing a sensation yuschie shaking. 
Simultaneously on  screen image starts to break down,

 jerky, blurred, and viewers to get the full effect of the 
presence of em. Later  they took a few more "Prisutstvennyh"

 films, in particular: "Cold", "Sahara"
 "Jungle".