Think #29 09 июля 1999

Юмор

stages of the disease - Humor.

           Stage of disease,

       symptoms and treatments.



  It is well known that people on Earth are divided
on normal and those involved in kompyuterami. And the first is 
getting smaller and smaller. 


        1. The first stage (light)

 Symptoms: The man sits down at the computer,
includes his work and goes home
end of the day, then remembers about the computer until the 
next morning. Normal appetite and sleep, headaches and diarrhea 
are not available. 

 Treatment: treatment is temporarily not needed.



      2. The second stage (featherweight)



Symptoms: The patient has been an increasing interest in the 
computer that is expressed in unhealthy excitement, covering his

when a specified object. Appetite is normal. Restless sleep 
with the cries and yelps. Delayed at work

two to three hours and tramples button.

Treatment: Remove patient from the computer,
ingest rubbing alcohol three times a day for 0.5 tablespoon. 
Computer books away in inaccessible place. From work to meet.




    3.Tretya stage (moderate)

Symptoms: The patient is delayed at work
more than four or five hours after,
working day, saving money on your home
computer. In everyday life begins to use
computer terminology and does not react
on rasshirennye eyes of others. Appetite
increased. Restless sleep with the computer shouting catchwords 
and wanton laughter. Comes in a sharp excitation at

a computer or meeting with patients
the third stage and above. In this case, the disease can pass 
in the fourth stage. 

Treatment: the patient's isolated from society
and from the computer, the money away, to marry.
At a rough behavior and refusal of treatment
introduced intragastrically odindva bucket of vodka with port 
"777", mixed in a 1:2 ratio. Basin does not give. 



      4. The fourth stage (severe)


Symptoms: The patient, buy a modem and computer. It is replete 
with various computer words and their combinations. Inventing 
new words, saving money on a dedicated telephone line. Appetite 
is greatly increased. Eat any food at any time if it is 
available. Sleeps three to four hours in day, as night calls on 
the modem and Each connection produces howls described

in the third volume of the book "Animal Life"
(Chapter One "The behavior of male makakirezusa in the mating 
season"). Libido decreased. Vomiting, Work, delirium, and 
diarrhea no.


Treatment: Treatment is subject to only ...



              5. Hopeless.

Symptoms: The diseased plants have a BBS, which pays more free 
calls and programming time. Slurred speech,

consisting of 80 percent or more of the
computer jargon with special terms.
Appetite and sleep are absent. Eat only what
that falls within the line of sight,
regardless of the type and quality of product. On
others drew attention only
if they utter a phrase associated with the computer. Sexual 
attraction is missing completely, as occasionally feels a sense 
of deep satisfaction on-line on the screen "Connect 19200 ..."

Holds near the computer the night vase and a packet of tea, 
which forgets to dissolve in water. 

Treatment: Treatment is not refundable.