ZX Review #1-2 31 декабря 1996

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Computer novella - In the game "The Saga"

                        COMPUTER NOVELLA


                         MAD BEAST


                       The game "The Saga"

(C) J.C.L. from "L.A." 1996, Vladivostok.


   That sunny day I stood in the middle of the street and 
looked at Copper door handles that are attached to the door of 
an extravagantly colored houses. Weird pastime? Do not judge 
too harshly, because each of us have their little oddities. By 
the way, my name is Maronik Mad Beast and I - wandering 
barbarian, even more abruptly than Conan. Do not believe that 
"cooler"? Is that you in vain! In the end, no one adventyury 
Conan has not yet written, but for me - here She: "THE SAGA".


   The adventure that started in the town, which was called 
Anvas. Themselves townspeople called their city: "the city 
garbage," which gives some representation of those regions, and 
about those times. Early Middle Ages or something like that.


   Ahead of me was a whole day and no cases that needed to be
do. I decided to just walk. The first place I looked,
was a museum. Anvasa Museum - a unique institution. In the 
kingdom Krenan there is nothing like it. Anvastsy very proud of 
their museum, but visit his escape.


   The first exhibit, which attracted attention was a rare jade 
statue. You bet! After all, it was: first, rare, and secondly - 
Citrine, in the third - statue! After admiring this work of 
art, I decided that I is neither anything. It hurts too heavy, 
and carry a mutant with a gizmo - there will be hell to pay.


   May in fact misunderstand.

   The second exhibit in the museum was a street urchin. Yes. 
Yes. Normal a street urchin. I remember how much noise it was a 
couple of years ago, when this Mumm ... mimedi ... Therefore 
... well, in general, such a dry and wrinkled the corpse was 
cut down from some glacier scientists. With the enthusiastic 
shouts they made it to the museum, shouting something about the 
great antropopologichesih discoveries of dissertations and 
bonuses, and everything else, as in the cases, researchers say. 
But the corpse - it's just dead. I do not need. The last item 
in the museum was an amazing tapestry of work on which was 
shown me. Truly, a great work of art! Such things should 
cherish and nurture for future generations ... And yet, should 
notice, this tapestry can be linked to any heavy things, or it 
may 'll do as a backpack.


   Catching tapestry, I decided to go to the tavern "seduced 
Pony" - too a kind of landmark Anvasa. There was as always - 
dark and crowded. Drunken ex-heroes were strewn on the floor 
behind the bar was unfriendly troll, and nearby lay a little 
gnome corpse. In such establishments are not dead rarity. After 
seeing the accident, I saw that he had their throats slashed. 
Wretch will not help. Certainly, this work Recession slicer 
Sup. There is here a half-mad yellow dwarf - loves all throats 
cut. Throwing a glance at the bar, I noticed svezhevyrezannuyu 
(yesterday it was not yet) the inscription: "I I love Green 
Sonya "Truly, love - a great feeling! 

   After leaving the bar, I went to the shop to Ethel. This is 
the Ethel sells here most famous for - this - Party - Gore 
delicacy - the egg. She's just obsessed on the eggs. (No, in a 
good way). Any sizes, shapes and colors. Taste - stunning! What 
you want eggs you can find in her store. Well, besides, She 
haggling various sexual stuff. 

   In the shop I ignored the bank continued with the eggs (do 
not like scrambled eggs) but took a small iron key, which is 
obviously forgot someone buyers.


   Coming out of the shop Ethel, I went on, enjoying the 
beautiful summer afternoon, but there appeared walking towards 
me Recession slicer Sup. This dwarf was obviously somewhat 
annoyed and eager eyes stared me in the neck. I hurriedly 
whisked into the first door and ended up in the weapons shop. 
Here are samples of the most sophisticated weaponry and all 
related stuff such as camouflage penguins and sheep skins. My 
attention was drawn sword lying separately from everything 
else. After seeing it, I realized that I had an incredibly 
lucky. It was vzapravdashnee, crashproof magical weapon. 
Besides, an animate! Sword ever let go of any jokes about the 
bloody battles and the thirst for murder ... Slightly sadistic 
tendency. Oh well. Magical weapons do not look into the soul - 
especially when there is no choice. 

   Grabbing the sword, I decided that would be nice to walk 
outside the city. Learn with rural life, and all that. The city 
gates were locked, but key that I was perfectly approached 
them. The gate opened and I was on the broad convenient way. 
She usually enjoyed (and enjoy now) slavers. They urge on their 
mules pulling heavy wagons with groaning miserable slaves. 
Alas! This shameful practice still persists. 

   No vans, and slaves could not see, and I was not exempt
anyone, so I went on the road to the east. She lazily curving,
constantly changing direction and the loop between the low 
hills with grace mongoose-asthmatics, languishing in the heat. 
Hedgehog, running on the roadside, stopped and curiously stared 
at me. I fancied that his face appeared smile when I'm 
breathing hard, he stopped and wiped sweat from his forehead 
with his favorite pink handkerchief. I have had a strong desire 
to start something difficult in this sweet, grinning beast, but 
on hand was nothing to Besides, I am a member of Society for 
the Preservation of Wild Animals. 

   Reaching the next turn, I saw a pointer to the promising
inscriptions: "THERE" and "here". I am sure that it really 
helped me, and when I noticed a small ad that far in the west 
live the old gypsy woman named Haggis, he decided to visit a 
dear old lady. 

   She sat on the porch of his crudely decorated huts and 
mumbling something about the uninvited guests turning into 
docile beasts of burden. 

   I felt that I was starting to shake from fear, and hurried 
away, not forgetting to take a pleasant-looking little thing - 
a crystal ball. 

   Uliznuv from Roma, I was walking down the road, more and 
more away from Anvasa and all the more worrying. I was assailed 
by the suspicion that the road can lead me to the lair of a 
horrible dragon, who was sleeping in my one moment his fiery 
breath ... Then I noticed lying on the road talking turnips. 
Talking turnips - in itself not unusual, and this imagined a 
comedian and gag all the time. After nkotorogo reflection I 
decided not to take it with you. You know, the joke at the 
wrong time, whatever harmless as it was, could cost the head.


   I turned off the road onto a path leading to the estate 
Aranoma. I told us that live here unusual people who love 
everything green and have a strange idea of ​​honor. I was 
curious. 

   The first person I met at the manor, was Killer Wiki. Her
looks just ... killed. Fascinated, I have something vaguely 
muttered, and with awkward bow handed her a crystal ball. As I 
thought, bagatelle Wiki liked it. She gave a joyful cry, took 
my hand and held in secluded room manor. I was thrown onto the 
bed and watched with interest, as Vicky pulls off her clothes. 
(Oddly, the cassette with the game was not the inscription "16 
years". I guess I got a pirated copy). 

   Something hard pressed under my shoulder blade, and I found 
it - the forgotten someone pick. Without hesitation, I shoved 
it in his pocket, and once again drew attention to the Vicki 
... For obvious reasons I will not describe the next 
immediately after this time period. I can only say that We 
parted company pleased with themselves and each other. 

   I briskly walked down the road and soon reached the 
intersection where found green smell. You know that smells are 
nice and pretty disgusting, but it turns out they are also 
colored. In addition, here I am met Harry Hippie, who slurred 
muttered something friendly and immediately withdrew.


   In a cave (west of the intersection), I found a bit of glue 
(which is just not leave behind these cavers!). In the east, as 
was Camp Robin Pud and His-Not-Quite-Married-Men. Robin himself 
lying on the grass and phlegmatic chewing on some straw. His 
friends could not see, and I decided that now most opportune 
time to grabanut famous robber. In the end, He had promised to 
give the loot to the poor, and I (klyanus!) was not in pockets 
of any coins. I swung my sword and magic ... Of course, missed.


   Charm, "crashproof" sword broke with a resounding 
"tinkling!" And I found myself standing in front of Robin from 
the rubble of stick in his hand. Robber suspiciously stared at 
me, and I, with a value out of it stick to its nose and said 
something like: "You know, Rob, it is convenient to flip all 
sorts of things! Like nuts, you know? Silk, Silk. "


   Robin, obviously, about this and had no idea and was really 
surprised. I hurried retire - you never know what vzbredet him 
in the head! 

   Once again, standing at the crossroads, I saw the great 
mountain, rises to north. A few minutes walk away, and here I 
am at the foot of the mountain. Here I saw a very interesting 
stone slab. For such Flagstone is usually kept secret TUNNELS 
that lead into a dark cave, where Full Time every treasure. 
Thoughts about the treasures I was very excited and I tried to 
"click" plate. As nut, you know? Click. Click. With an eerie 
creaking plate moved, and passed the secret magic tunnel, I 
found myself in a cave inside a mountain. 

   Cobwebs hanging from the walls, which leads to unpleasant 
thoughts about the huge spiders. But then I saw something that 
took my breath away! They were lost Hard Armor! Old and shabby, 
worn-out order and wrinkled, they did However, as a sacred 
relic of our country. A long time ago one of our valiant kings, 
warriors fought in these armor in the battle against the hordes 
of evil nomads - ventritardiantsev. By some miracle he managed 
to win. So he saved our country and has covered itself with 
undying glory, and then went on a hike, in order to slay the 
giant spider - bloodsucker named Sklob ... Since then, his No 
one else saw. Rumor has it that the newly collected 
ventritardiantsy attack on our country. If you bring these 
armors current ruler - our chances of winning will increase 
immeasurably - I mused. 

   Then I realized that I was standing in the middle of the 
cave and the spider Skloba loudly talking to myself. The idea 
that Sklob may appear to minute me so excited that I grabbed 
the armor and fled from the cave with all speed, to which he 
was capable. 

   Let others fight the giant spiders! That's it.

   I found myself in a beautiful valley. Fragrant flowers. 
Lovely trees ... By me hiccuping loudly and swaying slightly, 
held Pipkin - well-known magician. He was wrapped in a bright 
scarlet coat and black satin dress, and he carried fumes.


   The road led me to the east and soon led to the place where 
lay forgotten someone chest of gold. Nearby sat a frog. She 
looked at me and loudly kvaknula: "Kwa! Kwa!" Frog is not very 
talkative. For a moment I flashed the thought of an enchanted 
princess, but to kiss it amphibians ... No, thank you! We'll 
have her stay a little frog. I put in the trunk, and quickly 
went south. Frog invitingly zakvakala me followed, but I 
pretended not to hear and hurried ... 

   The road stopped abruptly in front of a frozen lake. I'm 
puzzled looked at the sky. Hot summer sun was shining in the 
sky, but, nevertheless, water Lake had been fettered by ice. 
This was suspicious. The matter is clearly not without magic. I 
recalled a drunken Pipkin and shuddered. These magicians are 
capable of anything that anything, especially when drunk. Cross 
the lake, frozen smashed magician seemed very dangerous. I 
thought, and dabbling with a tube of glue, kapnul a little on 
your shoes. Spiced with magic glue shoes instantly I moved 
across the lake. 

   I ended up at the gate Dros Delnoks - the greatest strength 
of the country Krenay (bridge country), which ruled the day: 
Peck, Earl of tin (it belonged to his Granddaddy Fur Tin Armor) 
and Poussin Legendary (frisky devyanostodvuhletny old boy).


   Gates were locked, but my jimmy easily coped with the lock. 
In main hall Dros Delnoks I was honored to see a graph of Peck 
and Poussin Legendary. "Drunk in the board" rulers danced 
something absurd under loud sounds crazy jazz melodies, 
sweeping from hidden speakers. 

   I held the armor column.
-Wow! - Said Peck. - Ancient armor of my ancestors! Just what 
you need! 

   With these words, the graph has fallen on the floor and 
began to snore loudly. - You saved Krenay! - Said the eminent 
Pussy Legendary, poking me finger in the stomach, and followed 
the example of the graph. 

   Of course, Peck and Poussin could no longer say anything 
(not yet sleep off), but their extended family, advisers and 
courtiers to congratulate me and assured that I am exempt from 
paying taxes (for life) and get a solid reward for having 
returned the Fur Tin Armor. 

   Well, I deserved the award and accept with gratitude. You 
bet! After all, I, Moroni Mad Beast, saved his country!

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                            MERMAID


                    The game (MERMAID MADNESS)

 (C) Alexei Berezin, g.Kolpashevo, Tomsk reg.


   Miguel Martinez was a real man. From a distant ancestor - 
conquistador he inherited the deep blue eyes under black 
eyebrows, black as eternally disheveled hair, thick mustache 
under a hawk nose and a thin sharp face covered with dark skin 
- in short, all that love unconditionally women. Senor Martinez 
woman, too, liked, however, lived up to thirty years, he never 
married, for being a real man, he could at the right time 
firmly say "no." 

   However, Martinez was a lady and a disadvantage - quite
minor - he liked to invent. Friends, of course, forgave him the
weakness, so it was very entertaining to hear stories about his 
incredible Miguel love affairs, well, a friend of this weakness 
and did not notice - because they are about his adventures, he 
is not telling. 

   And here sat once this wonderful Senor Martinez at his small
yard on the green grass, and pumped air into the gas cylinders, 
because I was he is none other than the diver. He just 
connected the cylinder to the last compressor, when the gate in 
the fence suddenly opened and entered ... What do you think 
Who? However, do not try to guess, still will not work. It was 
Mr. Rockwell, of California, an old friend of Senor Martinez. 
Friends had not seen quite some time, and news they have 
accumulated order. Therefore, shook each other's hands, they 
walked into the house of Senor Martinez, and they pitched in 
porch, engaged in drinking of the bottle of whiskey. After the 
second glass of language Senor Martinez undone, and he told a 
friend a marvelous story about the alleged mermaid in love with 
him, and yet some crap. 

   When Mr. Rockwell has expressed, to say the least doubt on 
the truthfulness story, Miguel swore to him on the Bible 
(especially for such cases lay he's always on the table) ... 
However, Mr. Rockwell was not worth to reckon credulity. And 
then ... However, I strongly ran ahead. I'll start from the 
beginning. 

   You know, Jack, what here we have girls! - Enthusiastically 
said Miguel, juicy smacking their folded pinch your fingers. - 
Incidentally, I met that week a Chiquita, you just fall ... She 
- a mermaid! 

   H-huh? - Eyebrows raised, the question Jack, trying to 
assess the eye, is not it time for Miguel to tie with whiskey.


   Well, yes! - Happily replied Miguel, and cleverly narrowed 
the left eye, loud whisper, he added: - With her I have a 
happened! .. I'll tell you - not believe me.


   Jack nodded.

   So, - continued Miguel already in full voice - I was sitting 
as a on the pier, well, you know where the tent city? So, I sit 
and put on his equipment - preparing to dive. I love to swim in 
utrechkom alone ... And suddenly, right at me from behind the 
bushes pops someone shaggy zdorovuschy ... You know, I'm not a 
coward, but by surprise and set off on the pier. On the run 
looked - and she was scratching me! .. 

   Who? - Asked Jack. - Mermaid?

   Aha - Miguel nodded.

   With a fish tail?

   Huh? No, no tail ... Yes, that without a tail - just without 
clothes! Here I am quite frightened. Many, of course, the women 
were running after me, but that such a complexion! ..


   And what about her? In the body?

   Her hand - as my leg! .. Well, I decided - otsizhus under 
water balloon to me for an hour will suffice zalyagu to the 
bottom, so there is something she did not get. Dive from the 
pier - and what do you think? This followed a crazy diving! I'm 
not looking back dived deeper - there under the pier about 
three years ago sank the steam boat - and going to hide in the 
hold. Inside a floated, but caught some piece of iron and 
brought down the old ladder. And he fell akkurat across the 
aisle, that neither swim nor Directions ...


   Well, Jack, imagine my situation - completely alone in an 
old flooded trough, and no living soul knew what happened to me 
... 

   In addition to the mermaids - sarcastically remarked Jack.

   Well, yes. So after me and she helped out. I've lost all 
hope, as Suddenly the ladder - hryas! - And in half! And she 
swam ... But you do not laugh, Jack. Well, she Of course, no 
fashion model, but still nothing. Plump, red-haired ... A tail 
of it a chic, with silvery scales, by the way!


   Well, sort of like a herring? Oh, and you're strong enough 
to lie, my friend Miguel! You're ten minutes ago saying that 
she has no tail! - Jack grinned. 

   A. .. Well, you know - at a loss handed Miguel - she
such as on the land - so her legs, but as the water - so 
instead of legs tail grows ... What are you do not believe me?


   What are you, Miguel, of course I believe! - Cried Jack, and 
his intonation is clear said: "Oh, my God, of course - no!


   If u want, I'll swear on the Bible? - And not waiting for an 
answer Miguel put one hand on the Bible, and another picked up.


   On my honor, that everything is as it was!

   Mr. Rockwell was going to say something more sarcastic, but
then knock on the door, and Senor Martinez dropped the chair, 
ran to open. For the door stood a rosy fatty in a pink dress, 
red and snub-nosed. "Some twenty-five "- identified Jack the 
trained eye. 

   Miguel has spread from devvitsey few words, and turned to 
Jack. 

   Listen, we're going to the beach ... Come with us?

   Jack hesitated.

   Oh, no, things, you know, and in general ... Some other time.

   How do you know - shrugged Miguel - See you, Jack.

   And embraced the girl's shoulders, he slowly withdrew.

   Jack some time examining the label on the unfinished bottle 
of whiskey, and then stood up and walked behind Miguel and his 
girlfriend. Ask him now, someone, why he did it - perhaps he 
could answer. 

   The beach was almost empty - tens of lone bathers. Glancing
Bay view, Jack immediately noticed that a couple behind which 
walked. They splashing about a hundred meters from shore. 
Vaughn Miguel podnyrnul under his girlfriend and frightened, 
suddenly grasping her under the water. That he emerged, angry 
fatty sparks showered him, slapping his hand on the water. But 
Miguel grabbed her and threw on the back. Wide silvery fish 
tail rose into the air and slapped the water raising a cloud of 
spray. 

   ... But maybe it was just sun glare on the water? ..
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