███████ ███████ ███ ███ ███ ███ ██████ █▒▒▒▒▒█ █▒▒▒▒▒█ █▒▒█ █▒▒█ █▒█ █▒█ █▒▒▒▒▒█ █▒███▒█ █▒███▒█ █▒▒▒█▒▒▒█ █▒█ █▒█ █▒███▒█ █▒█ █▒█ █▒█ █▒█ █▒▒▒▒▒▒▒█ █▒█ █▒▒█ █▒█ █▒█ █▒███▒█ █▒███▒█ █▒██▒██▒█ █▒▒█▒▒▒█ █▒███▒█ █▒▒▒▒▒█ █▒▒▒▒▒█ █▒█ █ █▒█ █▒▒▒▒█▒█ █▒▒▒▒▒█ █▒███▒█ █▒█████ █▒█ █▒█ █▒▒▒██▒█ █▒██▒█ █▒█ █▒█ █▒█ █▒█ █▒█ █▒▒█ █▒█ █▒█ █▒█ █▒█ █▒█ █▒█ █▒█ █▒█ █▒█ █▒█ █▒█ █▒█ ███ ███ ███ ███ ███ ███ ███ ███ ███ C УЕЫБAЮЩEЙCЯ СТОРОНЫ ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ Прикольные обмиксовки и закексовки из жиз- ни вымышленной армии , с ее виртуальными обычаями, имеющими некоторую долю правды Протоптипы историй взяты из реальной жиз- ни и обрисованы с юмористической стороны соответственно юмористическими писателями. ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ ЗАСЕДАНИЕ ГEHEPAЕЬHОГО ШТАБА фрагменты совершенно секретной стенограммы * * * - Господа генералы! Открываю заседание ге- нерального штаба. Докладывайте. У меня од- на гривня. - Докладываю еще одну. - Все равно не хватает... - Что вы считаете ? - Да уж не дивизии. Ладно, придется в су- хую. Так что там у нас в армии ? - Вin the army things are far from being the same as actually. Nobody wants to be a general scrap, that's why the soldiers are bad. The army is timid! Where did her courage go? - Probably takes over cities somewhere. - Everyone has such a hard time studying that it’s impossible to talk about anything. There can be no talk of fighting! Alone in the field yet warrior, but two are already a collective farm brigade. * * * - Mister General! I, like another gentleman, Dean General, I want to talk about replenishment. B the army of youth comes completely green and blue! Not just an army, but a grove on the shore bowls of vitriol! And, by the way, co- the mandir should be the father of the soldiers, not husband! - Yes, it's terrible! The material part is multi- these soldiers are worn out! - But we have an officer - wow! Ready eat your hat... No, not ready yet. B in general, a military academy should have a vi- the cultural level of the officers! - That's what she means. - This is unfortunate. Some officers are still They can’t remember for a while now that two boots are a pair, not two pairs, of boots. * * * - Gentlemen generals, I appoint myself supreme - great commander-in-chief! Attention! Attention - this is such a team. Hands at your sides, heels together, socks apart. - In order for the socks to be apart, they need to be removed or right in your boots? - By the way, about the seams, it’s also darkhistory Stitches come from appendicitis when it is cut out creepy. - Don’t they come from trousers? - Well, they haven’t been cut out yet, where did that come from? seams? - According to the charter - from the camel! By the way, about the army - in the army everything should be in order - Tawa, and don't give a damn! - That's for sure ! It's really bad with weapons. It keeps getting out of hand, it’s so bad with it xo. - Yes. There are no anti-aircraft guns, we had to distribute troops scam air defense spinning rods. Let the planes get shot down enemy. * * * - What do you say, Mr. Admiral? - I will say that the navy is good, but damp. The naval forces are armed with one privateer and two gunboats, of which one is a kayak, and the other is a hole. When- I'm trying to get out of it. The fishermen have been given an order in sunny weather blind the enemy with a sterlet and in bad weather - throw this sterlet. By the way, our proud "Varyag" is being surrendered. Payment by agreement. - This is commendable. Now about the infantry. Our pe- hota is the queen of fields. And that's what she looks like corn. She doesn't care about corn anymore similar to the infantry. * * * - Yes, gentlemen generals! You have to think, dar- shut up! Can be removed from tank tracks excellent tank butterflies... - What the hell? - Yes, so that the service does not seem like honey. All in all,there is a sea of possibilities! - So, gentlemen, will we live? - Yes, yes! - So, hurray? - Hooray ! Long live our armed forces forces, the most armed of all forces! HALDING Another conscription into the Armed Forces took place in the capital. Young The day-old fifty-year-old lieutenant general timidly entered the barracks. mu. The brand new chrome boots were a little too big for him, but The freshly sewn overcoat smelled like a haberdashery store. - Comrade general of the army! Who should I report to? An army general, acting as an orderly, with dissatisfaction I looked at the new guy with pleasure and picked up the phone: - Comrade Marshal! The orderly reports, arrived here alone. Seems like you just came from Mi- Ministry of Defense with an order to the General rank. - They sent five untrained generals again, - responded the marshal. A minute later, the lieutenant general was surrounded by a crowd of army generals, fleet admirals and marshals. - What, young man, now is the year of your outfits - you won’t climb: kitchen, guard room, checkpoint NATO in Brussels, a bedside table in our barracks meh... Got it - no? - leaned towards the newcomer - to whom is one of the marshals. In the meantime, let me be a fly flew to get a mop, you'll go to our toilet scrub. The Lieutenant General sighed and tried to object, but immediately I saw the barrel of a pistol in front of my nose: - If you rock it, we'll force you off the floor a hundred times. do push-ups or five times defense plan army to work on the map, got it - no? But at that moment someone hit the marshal so hard on the ear that the hat and the pistol rolled on the floor. Immediately appeared before them a generalissimo of about seventy-five years old, in turmoil. - Are you completely swollen, earthly? - menacing he asked the jumping marshal. - Look, otherwise I’ll force the earth to eat or go around the world - I’ll send a submarine cruise without surfacing Tia. Silently and busily pulling a new one from the arriving lieutenant general the overcoat, he examined it, feeling it, and hung it on his outstretched hand, but Venky. Then he took off his own, which was already pretty shabby. - Shall we wave, new guy? He rubbed his reddened eyes and nodded obediently. - That’s good, just go to the store in a minute, then- You will change my ruts. But then a door slammed on the stairs and measured steps were heard. The Generalissimo listened and suddenly hurriedly grabbed his old overcoat: - Okay, land, then we’ll switch. And so that not a word about nowthis. Cheers to everyone! The Generalissimo stretched out, turning towards the approaching steps and licked his lips, dry from excitement. Down the stairs repented, flabby, unshaven, disheveled, with a cigarette in his teeth and Corporal with an open bottle of vodka in his hand. What? Isn't it enough for you...? Join the army - it will happen a lot!!!
Army - Cool mixes and cakes from the life of a fictional army, with its virtual customs that have some truth.
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