Horror - Very scary stories with a bit of black, but very cool humor.

WeekEnd #04

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 Очень страшные истории с долей
черного, но очень улeтнoro юмора
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              * * *

    Маме кричит дед Кирилл:
    - Вашего сына каток раздавил !
    Мама спросила: - Где он теперь ?
    - Сейчас я его вам подсуну под дверь !

              * * *

Девочка в ваннойI found a razor.
“What is this?” she asked dad.
Dad replied: "Harmonica."
The baby's smile gets wider and wider.

 * * *

A girl was playing with a ball in the kindergarten.
I accidentally hit my uncle with the ball.
Uncle pouted: “Ooh, fidgety!..”
The eyes blinked on the fingers for a long time.

 * * *

Grandfather Mitrofanich sat on a tree stump:
“Oh, what a tough day it’s been!”
Pants flew over the forest for a long time -
This is the vile echo of war!

 * * *

     Children played as robbers in the park,
     They threw a dart accurately at passers-by.
     October boy Taras was unlucky:
     The cats ate fresh meat all night...

 * * * * * *

The son pokes out the eyes of dad and mom, Vanya is driving a car
So that his grandfather read fairy tales to him at least once.   All smeared on the tire.

 * * *

Ninth floor. Narrow cornice.
The boy quickly falls down.
A surprised mother looks from below:
"No, the boy will not learn to fly."

  * * *
  A little boy climbed a cherry tree.
  Grandfather Afanasy took out his sawn-off shotgun.
  A shot rang out, a desperate cry:
  - Forty-second! - the old man smiled.

  * * *

The boy Valera found a rope,
He went to school with this rope.
We laughed for a long time at the teachers' meeting,
How the bald director hung from the toilet.

 * * * * * *

Quickly, reliably and without hassle The boy Alyosha cooked jellied meat:
Aeroflot will bury you!           A legless father was crawling on the floor.

 * * *

    Little Grisha was sitting on the roof,
    The sun's ray warmed his head.
    The boards were cracked. Bones cracked...
    No, he will not go to visit his grandmother.

 * * *

The boy was chasing pigeons onto the roof -
Higher and higher, faster and faster!
When the roof ended, there was a splash...
Dad puts his brains in a dustpan.
 * * *

 The old grandfather went to the toilet,
     Who was as old as his grandfather.
     The boards cracked, the abyss clacked...
     It is clear that it is useless to save grandfather.

 * * *

The boy Mishan found a mine,
I took it in my bag and got on the bus.
They looked askance at the boy,
Then only the wheels went.

 * * * * * *

The boy Seryozha found a gun, Naked women are flying across the sky -
The grandfather writhed against the walls for a long time.    A rocket hit the bathhouse.

 * * *

     Little Izya found a piece of paper,
     He went to the toilet with this piece of paper.
     Then the kids laughed for a long time:
     This piece of paper was a knife.

 * * *

Grandfather loved his grandson very much,
Grandfather gave a dagger to his grandchildren.
Grandfather sits quietly across the river -
There is a gift sticking out between the shoulder blades.

 * * *

 Little Petya was lying on the grass.
 Misha accidentallyroofs fell...
 The parents at the morgue couldn’t figure it out:
 Where are whose hands and where are whose legs?!

 * * *

 The boy Savely was sledding,
     He went down the high hill fearlessly.
     Apanas did not press the brake:
     KamAZ was going to wash it anyway...

 * * * * * *

The girl Nina went for a swim - On a rope looking into the distance
I dived on Wednesday and surfaced on Saturday.     Komsomol Secretary.

 * * *

The Epema boy hiccupped all the time.
Dad completed his paramedic course:
He covered his nose and mouth with his hand -
Soon the hormu stopped bitching.

 * * *

Dad was fixing a color TV.
Frolushka plugged into the socket...
Now Frol watches the fairy tale every day:
My father won't switch to football.

 * * *

 Little Fedka sucked candy.
      A dump truck crept up behind him.
      Tomorrow morning the newspapers wrote:
      "Fedya died by choking on candy!"

 * * *
 The boy's mother brings apples.
  He asks everyone to try the apple...
  In the evening the flags were lowered in the camp -
  The third detachment was merrily buried.

 * * *

There are women in Russian villages -
They will enter the burning hut...
Mine came in on Sunday
And they won't find her again.

 * * *

Children played Razin Ctehbky,
We were sailing on a boat, completely drunk.
We chose a place where there is depth:
The seventh princess goes into the water.

That's all for today! Read on!!!!!!

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