Advertising - I love advertising, but I don’t remember it well.

 R E K L A M A          
                                
 I love advertising, I just remember
bad. there seems to be something:     
                                
"My little Masha often cries at night.
Let's spread one half of her butt with Blain paste.
yesMed, and wash the other half with shampoo
Head&Shoulders.  Now let's put it in the spike-
Whose aspirin Oops. Do you see? Dandruff has disappeared
and for six months not a single new hole! Pumpons
PUMPAX - ate, and order, and the nose breathes, and
my throat doesn't hurt. Although sometimes I'm so hungry -
You think that all your thoughts are only about food! Do you need-
Women Panadol, take two tablets at once.
When does regular aspirin just start?
irritate the gastric mucosa, balm Bit-
Nera already smells deliciously of apricots.
Half the usual dose is enough. Before
with dressing add Minton - lollipops with
triple effect: relieves fever, increases
octane number of gasoline and washes any
there were stains.  And the smell! The most delicious dry
juice from dried fruits.  What if a toothbrush
not available?  - BOSCH washing machine all
will do it for you according to the predetermined program
ramme! All she can ask of you is
this is... a little more Whiskas, because it contains
so much milk that he even looked at it
moos like a dolphin fish on a big dayfull moon.  But in these crispy pieces -
kah has everything your dog needs, under
your skin too... It's caries! You
drunk, buddy.  Chewing will help you
Dirol gum with a new formula with free-
other oxygen molecules, completely un-
noticeable, not restricting movement. How, one-
But a remedy for the throat and stomach? Well no,
I choose Tide! Soap Kamei, let's sing together,
Let's chew together, Boo-boo-boo-boom-boom-boomer!"     
                                          
 * * *                   
                                          
                                          
                                          
                                          
                                          
                                          
 The company "SPACE" offers         
                                          
>Computers                                
                                          
Servers, working, partially working, non-working
mobile stations and DOOM platforms:           
 - multivitamin processor server "Pro-
    ISK-6" (number of processors from 0.5
    up to 8086 pieces)                        
 - SPARC workstation ("Iskra")
    1030.11M                              
 - communication server with direct
    128 push-button telephony support
    backgrounds (expandable up to 8 Giga-
    backgrounds)                                
 - family of Silicon workstations
    PornoGraphics                         
 - workstation on PowerXT processor 
Personal computers:                  
 - 8086/1 MB cache/128 KB base RAM (optional)
    can be expanded up to 128 MB)           
 - 386SX/16 with trigonometric resistance
    processor for approximate calculation
    i389QX                            
Special offer:                  
 - Pe Six 123.034 MHz/Cash 1 Gb/Frame
    1Mb x 1Mb + 19bMb/HDD 9 Terabytes/Rep-
    tiumspeed/CD-R/MoDamn                 
All listed modifications include:   
 - hard drive standard MFM 20 MB      
 - drives on vinyl discs (for 45
    min. at rotation speeds 33, 45 and 78
    rpm)                             
 - joystick and mouse                       
 - monitor "Slavutych" Color SVGA         
Execution options:                      
 - standard (without housing)             
 - desktop                            
 - tabletop                            
 - floor                             
 - underground                            
 - in the body there is a half-tower, a tower and a Leaning tower
    tower                                 
 - wall (cuckoo, optional)      
>Multimedia laptop-computer
 ter:  - hallucinogenic LSD screen of variable
    size                               
 - PCMCIAISAVESAEISASCSIPALSECAM connector-
    -3.NTSC                               
 - improved multi-button
    inverted mouse               
 - 210 MB screw                        
 - key for 12                            
 - FDD 90 mm.                            
                                          
 Computer weight no more than 500 g (excluding
psychotropic batteries with a capacity of not more
more than 7 liters).                            
 All computers (except servers) are supplied
work with pre-installed MS-DOS
3.11, Windows 3.0 and DOOM 2.1.666.         
 Servers are supplied pre-installed
bathing Creatures and Non-Creatures and DOOM for
Workgroups 3.11                           
                                          
>Printers  - inkjet printer InkJet SALUTE XXL
    (52-54) with a fountain spray principle
    ink blinking                        
 - laser printer LaserJet 4A with nuclear
    pumped and with separable, self-guided
 with print head           
 - 3D Matrix Druker matrix printer with
    three-dimensional matrix                   
                                          
>Accessories                                
                                          
 - Scanners I, II and III (manual, non-propelled
    venerable and absolutely wild; continuation
    follows)                              
 - 101-button mice with customizable
    buttons                            
 - 4-key keyboards (spacebar, es-
    cape, input and output)                   
 - mouse pads with reproductions of 
    ters of the Renaissance (series "Socro-
    store of world art galleries")   
 - trackbasketball                         
 - colored rugs for the user      
 - mirror protective screens (Anti-
    blick, Hi-black, Trinitrion, NI)      
 - stand for a coffee cup          
 - cigarette holder                     
 - remote access coffee maker with built-in
    encrypted network card                  
Ethernet 32AWE Pro                    
 - local microwave oven (for cre-
    mitigation of confidential            
 documents and temperature settings
    sandwich options, connected via
    LPT port                              
 - white and red semi-dry liquid in
    containers 0.75 l for wetting cleaning
    available floppy disks                            
 - Cleaning Kit for user
    for User (the set includes cleaning pads
    liquids, brushes, cloths, shampooHead&Shoulders, hair dryer, foot cream and
    manicure set)                     
 - safety glasses with grounding           
 - eternal power supply units (created using
    Maxwell's perpetual motion principle -
    Cacica)                               
                                          
>Software                  
                                          
 - DOOM Special Professional Edition..$99
  - Glyuk Maker 4.1                       
 (visualization package).
 - Axle 3.0 Warp...................$33
  - Halfflies 3.0 Morph................$66
  - SemiOS 3.0 Warp...................$99
  - MicroSoft Windows 95 Beta......on the ball
  - Pinoccio SoftWare "Golden Key"        
 (accounting without liability)...$4999
  - Semantics of Norton Disk Destroyer...$149
  - MicroSoft Global Initalize for Windows
    (professional formatter
     floppy disks).......$799.99
  - King of Firewood 5.0                       
 (oncompact ROMs)............$800
  - Aldus Pozhmacker 5.0............$400
  - Doneba Canvas 3.5................$600
  - MicroSoft Windows MTV 3.5 Watcher     
 (license for one TV).$1359
  - Melkosoft Windows                        
 (Russified Windows).......$99
  - Melkosoft Office                     
 (Russified MS Office).......$699
  - Nestle CoffeMaker Classic v.1.1       
 (250g in a can)..........$3 (per can)
  - MicroSoft WordCad 6.0                 
 (automated text editor
th design)................$299
  - Novell DR-DR-DR-DOS 7.0...........$139
  - Visual dBasic......$159
  - Borland Nonsens                       
 (unmanaged database system).......$169
  - Novell WorstPerfect 6.1.1.........$389
  - MicroGraph Rabinovich v.33........$329
  - Aldus SuperMarket............$499
                                          
>Upgrade options  - setting desktop to the angle specified
    user (upgrade to pi-
    Zan Tower)                        
 - replacing mom with dad                   
 - screws on nuts                       
 - replacing typewriters with non-printing ones
    printers                              
 - increasing the power of laser beams
    printer (only for LaserJet 4A)     
 - stretching the monitor diagonal       
 - free replacement of floppy disks with
    magneto-optical                     
                                          
I SELL inexpensive used:              
                                          
1) Quadrophonic electric pump for digital
   rig iron.                          
2) Razor-lawn mower.                 
3) Greenhouse for cucumbers inown co-
   ku.                                    
4) Drills for hand drills.  Diameter
   56, 78 and 112 centimeters.              
5) Multi-volume collection of jokes about
   Stirlitz in Chinese. Translation, to
   unfortunately, unsuccessful, no puns.  
6) Interpolation device.          
7) Ultrasonic penguin fertilizer
   new                                   
                                          
 Selling                                   
* Anti-theft device with fuse
  "KRANTY-6"                              
* Dust-proof windshield for
  car "Audio"                             
* Left rear doors for the Niva car. Wholesale
* Automotive glass "Razplex", "Dvap-
  lex", "Triplex"                       
* Single-sided floppy disks from Mobius    
* Flexible magnetic tape 5.25"            
* Household computer ES1053 "Makrosha"      
* INTEL processors $485.99                
* IBM 486DX2 non-cond. "INTEL OUTSIDE"      
* Software: DR DOS 3.0, DR 
  DOS 3.1415926535, OS/2, OS/3, 0.2SOS   
* Protective, bulletproof, waterproof
  movable, fire-resistant screen directional
  th actions. Warranty - 3 years. Environmentalists
  purely pure product                    
* White mouse, Russified, ro-
  calls                                   
* Sandblast printer with nuclear pumping
* 486 processors                         
* Flop 5-apostrophe                      
* SOFT 13 times AUTO-HECAD                  
* Floppy disks for household wooden bills   
* Refrigerator "Africa-6"                  
* Children's bath with a centrifuge          
* Children's cast iron Panama hat with a hole for
  braids                                 
* Children's enamel stroller with cover 
* Triophonic amplifier "Whisper-003"    
* Household dosimeter with atomic battery   
* Radio receiver.  Reception from 10.00 to 16.00,
  break from 12.00 to 13.00                
* Washing machine on tracks. Caterpillars
  green, frozen. For driving with washing
  across the tundra                               
* Vacuum cleaner with auto reverse                  
* Manual juicer "Othello"           
* Video player with a nuclear warhead and auto-
  reverse                                
* Russian whiskey "Grey Merin"             
* Cognac "Napoleon" Borodino bottling  
* Domestic canned cat food from the best
  varieties of mouse and rat meat, manufactured
  working at the meat processing plant named after. Fallen Cattle  
* Chocolate candies "Natalka-putanka",
  "Snickers in the North" and "Come on, shoot me" 
* Hangover-Free Alcohol from the company "Goby Goby"
  staggers." For demons suffering from hangovers -
  eat                                     
* Scale model of the Great Wall of China
  1:2                                     
* Tytahxamoha mummy complete with spare parts
  tami                                   
* Painting by A. Cherny "Negroes at night coal
  loading"                                 
* Patented flippers with high heels   
* Playing balls                        
* Night light lamps                     
* Cast iron stainless wire          
* Floating point aquarium            
* Screensavers for TV. Wide selection
  diagonals.                             
* Mania for decency. Homemade, doesn't bite   
* Threads for climbers "Hold me solo-
  Minka, hold it"                           
* Digger without wheels                    
* English-Russian dictionary in German 
* Bomb of unpredictable action with delayed
  control                      
* Instant poison.  Minimum
  batch 1 ton. Add to tea one tea at a time
  spoon 3 times a day for 10
  years  Production: domestic plant
  "Kiss me on..., you won't get poisoned" by
  licensed by Proctor & Gamble. Like this
  we care about you and your health   
                                          
* portable radiotelephone for field work
  bot. Built-in excavator, machine gun. Pi-
  melting from a nuclear power plant         
* unbreakable mirrors, non-black cats, wine
  commercial stairs, etc.                    
* flattened Teddy bear with the inscription oil
  paint on the head "Intel inside"        
* Digital disk. Figure weight - 36 kg        
* Needy. I really need it myself... If not
  need, would not sell                     
* RizoGraph of 1896. Very hot-tempered     
* Used wife (3 pcs.). Compliant            
* Thief in law (yesterday the Presidential
  volume)                                    
* Reactive lighters                    
* Night vision trailer                  
* Straitpants                      
* Welterweight boxer puppies         
* Drop skates                    
* Family panties for a family of three or four
  person                                 
* Brick. For additional reward
  I can find a second brick            
* Guard male of a good litter      
* Rolls-Royce puppies with good running time -
  tew * "Tet-a-Tet" eau de toilette from the best
  toilets in France                        
* Currency: dollars, marks, francs, pounds
  dashing                                    
* Typnytebku in Honduras and Hondudva        
* Motherland                                  
* Men's concert briefs                
* Granulated sugar. Proportion 1:1              
* Three thousand bills. Inexpensive           
* Drinking hydrochloric acid                
* Pate from the beaks of Siberian hippopotamuses    
* Helmets for playing chess                
* Fur swimsuits for relaxing on the best
  resorts of the White and Barents seas       
* Gas spray with sexually transmitted diseases
  nyami                                    
* Fiberglass and patternsfor sewing water-
  laser suit                         
* Women's shoes for boys              
* Book with transparent letters             
* Children's coloring albums
  PLAYBOY                                 
* Granulated sugar (two dunes)               
* Fog lights for miners
  "Ambulance"                         
* Men's suit (double-breasted, three-deck-
  ny)                                    
* Bag of black caviar                       
* Baby rattles with a power of 80 decibels
* Toffees with liners                     
* Urinals near Gzhel                      
* Guide to sausage scraps      
* New bags under the eyes                 
* Rubberized wedding dress* Gold-plated chain for the bicycle "Ukraine"
* Write. machine "Yasiran" with Arabic script 
* Straitjacket r. 44 cheerful
  colors                               
* Offensive acid (in cyst.)        
* Coffee in ampoules                          
* Window frames with sea views            
* Party of cigarettes "President", please do not
  suggest "Kravchuk" and "Yeltsin"         
* Single-wave slate                      
* Set for manual sculpting of excuses          
                                          
 Color TV. "Electron", "Proton", "Neutron" with 
  gamma emitter for nuclear satellite
  antenna howl                             
* Cigarettes imp. with menthol, validol, di-
  medrol and papazole                    
* Sheepskin coat made of upholstery corduroy            
* White tooth enamel, 4 jars             
* Chain-link watering hose               
                                          
 The company "from Bincon" urgently requires:   
                                          
 - Three megabytes (in polyethylene packaging -
     ke, delivery by rail, free
     carriage)                               
 - Diving suit size 56 from the company "
     Condom"                              
 - Turbocharging system for a car
     ZAZ-966                              
 - Toilet paper, URGENT-O-O-O!!!!    
 - Winchester 125 caliber.               
 - Cancel request number 4 for the toilet
     paper: no longer necessary                 
 - Throwing discus, athletics
     at 3.5"                              
 - Enter key for A/M M-2141         
 - ESC key for it              
 - Japanese TV master e#$%&#$& on holo
     ve (2 pcs., can be used, without key
     Ctrl)                                
 - Russian TV master (similar)   
 - Phone with the company's automatic informer
     "Stukach"                            
 - Mouse under the mat                     
 - 3.5' floppy disks for SVGA monitor.      
 - Master printer                     
 - Cigarettes with an oil filter.       
 - A girl with a machine gun (machine gun and
     etc., you can without a girl)             
                                          
                                          
 'SLUT' SHOP OFFERS:    
                                          
- Durable outdoor equipment                      
- Waveless potbelly stoves (work on
  fragments of office furniture made in the USA, Italy
  lia) - Candies 'Che-Pochems'                     
- Rubber batons 'Mentos'              
- Padded jackets-impregnation (cotton wool, natural machine
  oil)                                  
- Chinese eyebrow pencil            
- Bedroom set 'Three Bears'         
- Bedroom set 'Pants and T-shirt', wet-
  ry silk (Russia)                       
- Cadillac cars long (price
  $10,000 per meter)                        
- Environmentally friendly socks (made by An-
  tarktids)                               
- Contraceptive means, in good condition -
  languor.                                 
- Chocolate candies 'Bear on a wrapper'   
- Belts full, partial and removable ver-
  ness. Belts of mistrust                  
- Skirt with mohair codpiece (made in Shot-landia)                                 
- Condensed maso, in jars. Ingredients: meat -
  10%, whites - 50%, pupils - 20%, jar -
  20%                                     
- Table set 'Kulemushka' (for 12 per-
  sleep and 25 ordinary guests)                
- Winter combs with fleece 'Vidal Chesun' 
- Canvas shoes, men's (Z&K company)     
- Mousetraps 'You're swarming!' (produced in Uzbekistan) 
- Cotton napkins, A4 format,
  A3, A2                                  
- Canned food 'Minister's Breakfast'             
- Formless robots (plasticine)           
- Cigarettes 'Pont', in a pack there is 1 cigarette (for
  19 cigarettes behind everyone)                 
- Vodka 'Seliodka' (vodka and snack in one
  bottle), made in Germany            
- Silvup players (please use acoustic
  e), produced by France In our store you will be well stocked and treated
and smile! Welcome to our shelves!