Mail - Letter to nowhere (October 2ooe).

 :##%##########: letter :##########%##:  
                                                    
                                                    
 letter to nowhere (October 2oo)           
                                                    
 (c) Riskej^OSA                                  
                                                    
 I don’t even know what to say...                  
                                                    
 I always expect something more. That's just
what?                                               
                                                    
 WHAT do I expect from Spectrum? This question I
I ask myself hundreds of times a day.  u I can't find
answer. I don’t know what to be happy about on the Spectrum,
and what to regret.                                   
                                                    
 Recently, anyone, no matter how bad he is
was, the software makes me happy that it exists. Here in Genza
I praise Lamerji all the time, but now I’m sad that
he's not there.  He has degenerated. maybe not forever, but
it's just that no one needs it. how you don't need a gens or
cry, neither Adventurer.  nothing for anyone anymoreneed to.
we can say that people are too lazy to write their opinions about
anything.   I don't understand this.  If the software is for me
interesting, then I will definitely write to the author my
opinion, wish... In the end, it’s just moral
I will encourage him.                                         
                                                    
 Eh...                                           
                                                    
 Think about it!  we made Genz #pt for six months. work,
as you yourself know, it is very difficult, and in the end we
letters arrived.  Four!  Ugh.  that's why I
Now I do everything just for myself. I don't care anymore
what people think about it.                            
                                                    
 I made only one number for people - the fourth
and I won't repeat this mistake again. This is how I am
I have become selfish, but this is already the past, the present for me
and the future...                                        
                                                    
 Here is your project.  someone writes to you of various kinds
criticism, but in his heart he understands that what you
do it - it’s hard and few people now _try_
do something.  by criticizing you he only confirms
what you need to live.don't listen to anyone. no one. Watch and listen
only yourself.  Spec society is degrading.  and
is degrading rapidly and in many respects.
It's scary to even talk about it.                            
                                                    
 Yesterday we talked for a long time with the pulsar about
sense of further creativity.   He _hopes_.
hopes for the best.  And for me the word is "hope"
died.  Died for various reasons. hope is destiny
stupid and weak.  I have faith backed up
facts. If there are no facts, then there is no faith.            
                                                    
 my creativity on Speck at the moment is
a thin thread of reasons. u the main one of these reasons is
interest.  She connected me with Spectrum.
a thin thread that does not break. I'm happy that you
I have friends on the Spectrum, and I love them - I love them
sincerely. Without them, I wouldn't know what would have happened.          
                                                    
 I love Spectrum, I love it because here I can
realize myself, I am incredibly happy from every
minutes spent in Pro tracker writing
new composition. This is the meaning of my creativity. And now something motivates me to write
these lines, and not relax at the dacha or fishing.
Something prompts me to at least somehow support you...
I'm lying to myself - where am I supporting you? Words?
Probably, moral support is important, although I am no longer
than I'm not sure.                                      
                                                    
 I’m writing again...                                   
                                                    
 I often think about the “correct” speech in genza,
but it seems to me that people will be more pleased to read something
what they understand, that's why I don't switch to
frank literary style, although I can.          
                                                    
 You guys are great. Well done for many reasons.
                                                    
 And I kind of fell into depression. u think to me
that the 5th Genz will not be review-analytical like
usually, but in an overview and philosophical way.  that's the way I have it
mood for all creativity.  Yes, and I became different,
completely different from himself even upon completion
working on the fourth issue of Genza. What else can I say?..                           
 There’s too much philosophy in my
article...                                           
                                                    
 Friend, good luck to you, be optimistic and
more free time!                        
                                                    
 u remember, friend, Spectrum is something
more than just a car, so look for yourself - look for
something that would make everyone shudder pleasantly.     
                                                    
 riskej. night. inspired by 'radiohead'.
                                                    
                                                    
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 Re: letter                     
                                                    
 (c) Pulsar^OSA (1b.oe.och)                       
                                                    
 Today I took this letter from Risk (written,
as he said, quite a long time ago(as far as I know
known six months ago), but still the same
exciting and relevant for him).                 
                                                    
 read the letter.  I was overcome with sadness again. After all
Indeed, everything that Riskej wrote about above
accomplished fact.   u what as he says
There is nothing to hope for, that’s also a fact. u me telling him about
I may have betrayed my hope. I'd rather
it was necessary to talk not about hope for some
possible bright future, but that despite,
it would seem that all the deplorability of our situation, everything to me
I still want to do a lot.                         
                                                    
 There is a desire to turn back and look
on how it was. Riskej and I know about Speck,
perhaps a very long time ago. If we take it on average, then how
at least a year since 9e (I'm from 91), but a new sip
information and desire to do something only appeared
in the spring of 99 after meeting J^CIC.   For the sake of
In fairness, it should be noted that before the above
dating neither I nor Risk did anything on Spec
(My computer was completely broken since 95). For us it was
a huge defeat and an impetus for action
everything seen.  I almost fell when I saw it
Refresh :), although this is not so surprising, because beforeof this, everything seen was dated back to a maximum of 9 hours a year.
:(                                                  
 so, everything started to turn around.                          
                                                    
 but, naturally, “Moscow was not built right away,” and
we spend quite a lot of time (six months to a year) just
tried to catch up, studying with enthusiasm
flowing like a stream from the screen is new and from that
information that is interesting to us.  then slowly with
by accumulating knowledge and skills started something
invent (I, and perhaps even Risk, remember with what
music was difficult for him; for a very long time he could not
exceed the limit of 1o positions... Of course, I have
similar, but in code). somewhere in the middle of 2oooo to us
Morfy joined.  At the end of 2000 J^CIC bought
itself PC, which at the same time cut our wings, but
at the same time and released. then there was 2oo1 -
one of the brightest and most eventful. started
he is from the first more/less worthwhile project - Gift &
fuck that J^CIC.  This same year, some of us
visited the first ASCII, which gave us new
friends, new ideas and our first projects. upon arrival
with ASCII oe.och.o1 (on my birthday) was
the current group was formed by one of
the initiator and inspirer of which was then still
new person- luka^OSA. From now until December
2oo2 attempts were made to work together,
the result of which was the 1st 5th issue of Genz, our
the first and so far unfortunately the only deme,
several gifts, a lot of music, texts, graphics,
a huge number of never implemented
Today is the day of ideas. but most importantly, what is this
time we learned to work and this is perhaps the most
the main thing.  although I would also note the birth of the action
ReSpect, which to this day is considered by me
very true, timely and interesting.  Me and
Today I am closely and primarily occupied with it.       
                                                    
2000 has come, it only brought
disappointments, and, unfortunately, I have a breakup
many connections. :( the cause of all cataclysms was
banal and fucking study. At first Riskej passed
exams at the university, then I wrote a bunch of term papers and
diploma (I was finishing my technical degree, which gave a lot
time and opportunity to study at your own pace
pleasure Speck). In between all this
we are still voluntarily forced madness
released the long-suffering Genz#och, something about
little things, we've released information about ReSpect. after that
together (me and Riskej, who left his previous
universityfor his inconvenience... there were generally reasons)
began to enter the university, which is quite
They did it safely. We decided to make a demo
to CAfe'oe, but didn't have time, and after a long time
stagnation was difficult to quickly disperse. Riskej went
on CAfe'oe and returned just the way you found him
you feel in the above written “letter to nowhere”. u
now all this time I (as the organizer of the group and as
usually a more interested person) I try,
change something and return to work again, so
What’s more, we came up with a bunch of projects for ourselves!
                                                    
 What do we have now?  Now I have everything
it slowly settled down, the first session at the university
passed (which, again, Riskej still hasn’t done
:((( ) “I got my bearings”, ready again
work, although unfortunately there is no free time
In fact, it has become a year less. but now I'm faced with
with another problem, that especially besides me and work
then no one.  :( luka - currently working in another
city, everything is going towards the fact that he will soon get married, and
because of all this, the desire to work significantly
decreased.  I - well, I think from everything stated above
the approximate picture is clear, now I’m working on the first
queue ReSpect, and little by little I kick everyone, I try
bring to logicalthe end of our projects. Sl - in
I got lost somewhere lately, more precisely for now
nothing can be said.  :( Morfy - here's the second one
active person, currently coding something, I hope
soon you and I will see all this, it also picks up all our
iron. Riskej - you can see everything anyway, he promises everything
pull yourself together, I think it will happen
soon.                                             
                                                    
 This is the story, I think it will set
All the i's are dotted in a letter to nowhere. Just like that
everything...                                              
                                                    
 And now several
                       interesting points of the "letter":
                                                    
 At the very beginning of his letter, Riskey writes:
"...I expect something more..." - I would like to note
one must not wait, but act, in my opinion, if one
you do nothing, then on what basis and with what
By the way, can you expect something from someone? And in general
Waiting is not the lot of the weak?                   
                                                    
>hope is for the stupid and weak. I have faith  
>supported by facts. If the factsno,            
>then there is no faith.                                     
                                                    
 once again I allow myself not to be with you
agree.  Moreover, it seems to me that here
hidden contradiction, because with small assumptions
in my opinion, between the words “hope” and “faith” you can
put an equal sign. I was wondering if that's true
this, I opened the explanatory dictionary of C.u. Ozhegov and this is what
it turned out:                                         
                                                    
Faith is conviction, confidence in someone or something. 
take on faith - accept as true without             
                  evidence.                    
hope - ... confidence in fulfillment           
          anything.                              
                                                    
 And in any case, the concept of faith is not
implies a clear sequence
facts!                                             
                                                    
>don’t listen to anyone... look and listen only   
>yourself.                                              
 It was this Riske that killed you in me. :( yours
pride...>spec society is degrading. and is degrading      
>rapidly and in many respects. even       
>it's scary to talk.                                  
                                                    
 It does not degrade, it just simply dies out
and naturally, against the general background, this may seem
degradation, because swarming becomes finer
and less quality.   :( but fortunately Spec
the community is not dying out so quickly, and time
replenished from time to time, even if a little, even if
old people, but still... And extinction is precisely
begins with such thoughts as in the “letter” - and this is already
article. :)))                                        
                                                    
 That's probably all that caused me this
"letter".  Damn, I criticized everything.  :))) Eh,
It's been a long time since I wrote on ICQ for so long... Here
peed, remembered the past and present and, it seems, even
I feel better.  Once again it seems that not everything is so bad,
as Mr. Riskej is trying to convey.                
                                                    

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