╔════════════════════════ ═══════════════════ ═══════════════════╗ ║ Dialog. ║ ╙─────────────────────────────── ───────────────────────────────╜ "What causes SysOps to become drunkards" Savin Boris Preface Dear reader! Imagine a conversation between a SysOp and User (Chat). Part of it was obtained from the automatic protocol of uploading that is on my board along with the communication program, and part is speculation. Act1 Time 22:35 Location: SysOp's apartment. Characters: SysOp, Computer, Cat (black). Night. SysOp, finishing his seventh mug of tea, looks through the freshly cast file. Suddenly he opens his mouth and his eyes widen across the entire bald spot to the back of the head. From his mouth come words that Printing is not recommended. After the shock caused by the image on the screen, he notes with satisfaction that he filled in THIS The user is still on the line. Immediately press ALT+C. SysOp: "What is this, #$ #$%^ mother, did you flood me?" User: "Norton Commander 3.0 is fresh!"SysOp: "What a wild boar! I've been using the 5th for a long time! And why in direct look?" User: "What is direct view?" SysOp: "You need to archive, that's what! And remember - TWIT is not a hi- powerful beast, but such a thing that you no longer have anything salt it" User: "Got it. How to archive?" SysOp: "What else can poop teach you? Read the descriptions!" User: "Where can I get them?" SysOp: "Where, where, on the board!" User: "By the way, you need Windows 3.1" SysOp: "But not in direct form!" User: "Ok, Bye." SysOp: "Bue!" You can hear the grunting of the hard drive and the swearing of the SysOp deleting NC 3.0 from disk. After this operation, he takes up cup, and, having taken a sip from it, discovers tea in it with disgust. Act2 Settings: Same. Time 23:02 Characters: The same. SysOp sits in a chair and reads the description of "Maximus" on English. Since his English is difficult, he often wrinkles his forehead and pretends to be working hard with his thoughts.Stands nearby empty tea mug. On a warm modem "ZyXEL" sleeps, checking black cat curled up. Suddenly the sound of Conntct is heard and the cat, without changing its position, flies half a meter up and sits on the curtain. SysOp looks back at the screen and sees that the same user is trying to type his name. On the third try it he succeeds. Soon a nasty call sound is heard SysOp for spruce. SysOp presses Alt+C. User: "Great!" SysOp: "Hey, long time no see..." User: "Do you still need Windows? I packed it" SysOp: "Twenty-five minutes ago you asked me about this. How do you think?" User: "Well then, I'll upload it" SysOp: "Fill" User: "Will you give me a level?" SysOp: "When you fill it up, I'll install it" User: "Then let me go" SysOp: "And I'm not holding you" SysOp presses ESC and goes to the kitchen. The screen shows how at the other end of the line, the user unsuccessfully tries to get to the required buttons. Finally he succeeds and a picture of the protocol appears transfers. Meanwhile, SysOp looks thoughtfully into the refrigerator and talking to myselfsays the phrase “I don’t want to” several times Do I have beer?", but without waiting for an answer to this question, he gets it from refrigerator bottle and goes with it to the computer. View on screen: Picture of the transmission protocol. Framed inscription: Transfer rate : 104 Butes to receive: 15678600 Time elapsed: 653 min SysOp (dropping a beer bottle on his bare foot): #$%^! The cat who by that time it was installed on the modem, in the manner described above, re- placed on the curtain with a hiss reminiscent of the hiss of a spectacle snakes during mating season. SysOp looks with big, crazy eyes - We are now at the cat, then at the screen, and the cat is at SysOp. There's a dumb thing going on scene. The transmission is interrupted, ALT+C is pressed. SysOp: "Why the hell are you putting all this in one file? You're the one You will transmit for 5 hours at this speed. What do you have behind the modem? User (proudly): "2400! Built-in!" SysOp: "Build it in you know where! During this time I installed Windows myself I'll write!" User: "Don't you need Corel Drive?" SysOp (scared): "NO!!!! I already have it!!!!!!" User: "Or maybe a set of icons for Windows? It's small and packed- ny!" SysOp:"Well, let's do it" User: "And you will raise the level" SysOp (holding a fig in his pocket): "But what about" User: "Okay, let me go" SysOp: "And I'm not holding you" Presses Esc, picks up the miraculously surviving bottle of beer from the floor, opens it with his teeth and drinks from the bottle in one breath. On his face takes on the expression of a man who has finally found the public toilet after four hours of unsuccessful searching. cat with cautiously jumps over the monitor and carefully settles down on modem. AktZ Settings: The same + there are five beer bottles on the floor. Time 23:45 Characters: The same. In the chair, having drunk a fair amount of beer and looking at the ceiling, dit SysOp. In his gaze you can read something that is sharp and The contrast has already disappeared, but the color is preserved. Is heard SysOp call sound to spruce. The cat, unable to bear this torment, carefully moves onto the cabinet. SysOp remembering the user's mother and his relatives up to the seventh generation, turns his gaze to the screen and presses ALT+C. User: "I uploaded!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" SysOp: (sipping vodka from a glass) “Well, how is itcall me file?" User: "ICONCI.ZPA" SysOp: (spilling vodka on the keyboard) “What the fuck is this? expansion?" User: "This is the newest archiver! It compresses even more than PAK!" SysOp: "Do you have it |-[ ?" User: "No, I wrote it off like that." SysOp: "How are you going to unpack it???!!!" User: “But I won’t! I don't need these icons. So are you level will you put it on?" SysOp: (With a carnivorous grin) "Definitely!!!" Press (with difficulty hitting the keyboard) ESC, S and enter Twit level. Then he finishes the glass of vodka and falls under table The cat hides from the closet and settles down on the warm back of Sy- sOp. A frame appears on the screen with the message “Why Twit then? Curtain
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