Joke - The point of this article is to amuse you a little.

Platinum #02
 
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* Funny!!!          *
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The essence of this article, a little bit of you  
cheer. Initially sta- 
tya was written for women, but
after reading it you will understand 
that the male half will be in-
interesting to know something about yourself! 
If you consider yourself a programmer
stomat, but according to the article it turns out that 
no, then you or an exception to the law
fork, or you are not a programmer!  
Article taken from the newspaper          
 "ALL FOR YOU."      
And fully corresponds to the original
nalu.    
                                
                                
       
                                
                                
                       
MARRY A PROGRAMMER.   
Why is your choice the best?.  
Dear girls and women, You 
decided to marry a programmer
hundred?  You did the right thing
boron indicating the presence 
y you have a sharp and subtle mind     
taste. Let's try to justify this 
obvious thought on several   
examples:                  
                     
1. The programmer combines 
the best features of a person with the disease
Down (myopia) and captain  
long-distance voyage.              
Every evening (except for evenings) 
when it is INTELLIGENT   
communicates with other programmers  
tami) he is at home at the computer, but 
at the same time, he is very thoughtful  
far.                         
                                
2.If he came home at that time
how do you communicate with your loved one?
bovnik, it’s enough to say:    
"Dear, this is my colleague. He is not- 
what he doesn't understand about computers" 
The only inconvenience that 
you will experience, this is what a lover
will offer to meet next time
crawl with him.3. If you suddenly want noky-
you won't drink or drink 
prohibit this, since it itself  
does this all the time.           
                                
4. It will never be annoying
you because when you are tired  
you are preparing dinner, it is lying on the sofa
, staring at a newspaper or TV 
visor. The programmer knows his   
place is better than any trained
dogs. It's behind the computer!    
                                
5.You will never have to blow- 
to wash, what to give him for    
holiday. On any occasion he  
will be incredibly happy with a simple short- 
a barrel of floppy disks from his favorite company. 
                                
6.You don't have to worry about   
evenings because of what to cook  
for dinner.                    
Programmers are omnivores!          
                                
 HOW TO REALIZE YOUR DREAMS?   
If your chosen one has withstood everything 
validity checks (some- 
some of the checks are given in   
next chapter), then get  
it will be as easy as shelling pears.       
But we dare to give you a few 
recommendations:                   
                                
1. When you come to visit him, ask - 
let me show him to you, his archive.
If it has less than 128 floppies, then 
he is still too young for marriage. 
If there are more than 512 floppy disks, then 
he is either married or already divorced.
(The rule applies in geometric
sky progression. Owner of 1024 di
sket can be bred twice,
and the owner is 2048-three times!)       
If he shows you his        
Strimmer (Such a device), then, in 
in principle, you can hunt him
, but know that it is a major key.      
Well, what if he mumbles, what  
his archive was devoured by Viruses and gophers
or moth or say that it   
archive at work, then very carefully - 
read the following chapter carefully
wu.            
                     
2. Find out when the mail-time is on it
favorite BBS's. Then you won't
the child is tormented by why he  
didn't call on time. You always  
you will know when he calls you 
(usually at five o'clock in the morning). And not 
will be offended at you for yours  
children's grievances.                  
                                
3. At night, on the eve of the wedding, there was no
honor his neighborhood. It's okay
there is nothing wrong with it if he is at a wedding -
It will be gloomy.              
The main thing is that he will be at the wedding.  
                                
4. Try to hold a honey 
month in the place where it is missing   
power supply. And try  
then don't be sad all your life    
remembering this month.           
                     
 HOWDISTINGUISH FAKE      
Recently, Chinese
Polish companies produce a lot   
counterfeits of our products. Not- 
which of these are even fake  
do not have visible external defects -
ov and have a normal section    
eye and completely systemic red 
eye and nose color. Without revealing   
we will describe all the secrets of our company
several tests that allow
distinguish our product from a fake
or fakes.                   
                                
1. Being alone with the person being tested  
say the phrase:              
"Dear mom!" or             
"Dear mother!".           
A real programmer will immediately say
says: “Where?...” and starts looking around -
I'm looking for a board.2. Invite your chosen one  
somewhere where there is a computer, and
place it next to the computer
ckety.If the floppy disk is not available  
immediately in the drive or pocket   
your partner, or he doesn't even  
will ask what is on this floppy disk, then  
this is a real fake.  
                                
3. At the most inopportune moment   
ask him a question like:       
"My favorite, and the worst floppy disk is   
 is a floppy disk good or bad?  
or "Darling, what would you do 
if they gave you a free card?".  
A real programmer will answer
such questions in any condition.
               
4. If in response to your phrase:  
"Darling, I want you to remember- 
nailed me for life!" it is on- 
drags you not to bed, but to bed- 
hepy is a real programmer.
          
5. Somehow, being alone with him -
no, ask for it somewhere on - 
scratch a word out of three from memory
letters - int. If he writes INT 
- this is a system specialist if he writes int
- an application specialist, and if he asks:    
"Are your initials like that?" -
get out!      
 OPERATING INSTRUCTIONS   
The latest research by scientists
it has been established that programmers -  
naturescreative. That's why they   
gentle, easily vulnerable, and easy to handle 
you need to be very careful with them - 
sity, otherwise you can ruin the
Your product, or be beaten     
most, or decay may occur
union (of the same name, not of republics).
                                
1. Never put your inte-  
res ahead of his interests.     
If you want a mink coat, then 
he is going to buy this money 
use expensive peripherals, then you won’t be able to
avoid scandals - he doesn’t give in
sts. Better say: “Darling, yes-
hey, let's buy me a fur coat, and then I'll buy it
I'll put it on and you'll do something crazy to me - 
gum gif !(.GIF)"   
                               
2. For an over-drunk programmer, bye-
live DENDY, but don’t let it into your hands.
He'll feel better right away, but not...let him break DENDY - she 
you will need it next time. 
                                
3. Try to learn his language.
For example, the programmer phrase
"Are you crazy at your computer?
term? How long can I wait for you
in bed? Sounds like:        
"Are you not responding to interruptions- 
are you digging? In my bed now 
IORQ will suspend the entire system!"    
            
4. If it works, try 
do not include simultaneously in one 
socket iron, electric kettle, stove- 
fabric, TV, washing machine 
etc.                          
The programmer did not save his own 
the program can be PASSIONATE!!!    
                                
5. Try to learn by heart 
connection sound (or if your husband  
Sysop, then call Sysop on the spruce).  
This may be useful to you in    
many life situations.Nap- 
example, the husband comes into the kitchen and    
needs to eat, but dinner is not ready.   
Whistle to this magical muse- 
cal phrase, and you will pros- 
we are pleasantly surprised by how- 
as soon as he disappears from the kitchen, bro-  
sitting on your computer.    
                                
08.22.96    
TOMSK,City   
                                
                                
Here is an article from Tomsk Ga- 
Zetas: "ALL FOR YOU".         
This article, without even having time    
greet you, I have opened  
section "FUN!!!" of the second  
numbers of our journal.         
And now, I'll catch up -  
new: GOOD AFTERNOON, EVENING OR   
'NIGHT' (FOR WHOM, HOW!) !  
I'll remind you right away about the prizes:   
the most active correspondent reader- 
pondent who regularly helps  
in the assessment of JOKES, receives    
incentive prize associated  
with SPECCY . Main prize semi-  
those who sent to our   
competition your own JOKES, according to the assessment
our readers will take first   
place in our humorous HIT PARADE
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