Complete jokes - 1 - 25 jokes... Collection of statements by Soviet officers (continued).

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│ CONTINUOUS JOKES # 1 │
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 (C) SPEED INFO
 (R) RINDEX

 After watching all these porn films, my husband began to behave
like a young goat...

   At home, my husband sleeps all the time. And I can’t understand what he’s up to
both does?

   He literally drove me crazy with his caresses, but I managed to
There is nothing to show off your feelings.

   My ideal man is a sexual maniac, but not to choke,
how crazy!

   The year before last the boys got me so drunk that I got pregnant.
Nila.

   And when he left me, I decided to cheat on him.

   Guys - they are like this: if you put it under yourself - it suffocates, on yourself -
rolls down, you put him on his feet and he leaves.

   Others say, I’ll kill you if you let it slip that I’m the one who caused you...
raped! And this one said: I’ll kill you if you tell anyone what I have
nothing worked out.

   I came across a typical pervert: she turns on the lights everywhere and walks around
naked. And I have to pay according to the meter!

   In the morning, my sweetheart looked back and forth around the room: “Perhaps
I won’t take money from you,” he says. Did you mean to offend or to praise?
pour? Didn't understand.

   When I spray cockroach poison, everyone at home puts up with it, but my husband
runs out of the house.No wonder my father said that he was an evil person.
insect.

   He stole my swimsuit and I thought he was a fetishist until
a year later I didn’t see this swimsuit on his wife.

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 (R) IRONMAN


 When working with a DVK computer, you need to press the pedal, turn the hand
ku so that it works better. In the mornings you should pour some germ into it.
a lot of cologne, because it counts better when it’s drunk.

   I like to give lectures after lunch. After a catering meal
everyone thinks about the eternal: will they remain alive or not, and therefore they sit
quiet.

   If you have it, you may not!

 - On what basis are students from Africa selected for study?
in Soviet universities?  
 - Basically they are selected based on three criteria: who speaks better, who speaks better,
walks better on two limbs and who has a shorter tail.

   "Beautiful... I won't say 'gothic' because...
This is where some people see the face of a dead crusader."

   CVP (DPM) lesson. The military leader says: “You need to put on a gas mask
the back of your hand!"

   Entry in the medical history: “Disturbed orientation in space”
ve. When he sees a woman’s skirt, he falls under it.”

   "4. Valuables and money must be kept by oneself; the administration will take care of them
the sale is not responsive."

   The inscription on the door of the medical office: “Tests are not given to the hands.”

   In connection with the Decree, wideperfumery became widespread
cosmetic intoxication.

   In a Scottish hospital, a doctor tells a sick pe...k: “How much
since we asked you not to chase skirts!

   From the newspaper. "For many years N has headed the party
on the farm of the collective farm M. There are 25 first-calf cows in her group."

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 (R) IRONMAN


 COLLECTION OF STATEMENTS OF SOVIET OFFICERS

Tutorial for junior and intermediate students
			educational staff.

				 "In civilian life you don't need fools.
					       That's why I'm here."
					  Unknown ensign.



430. Development engineers! You still need to be developed!

431. No outhouses or toilets!

432. Came to the military department - be a man. Left the institute
     Tuta - you can turn into a woman.

433. If the red-browns don’t come to power, because they
     If the Greens interfere, then the Blues will seize power.

434. That you just don’t speak Russian, here you speak English in be-
     Lomu written.

435. Blue eyes, fused at the bridge of the nose.

436. Scar on the knee of the left leg, left after surgery on the
     pendicitis.

437. Why are you yelling like that, you’ll still end up smarter
     it won't work.

438. The other day, the entire General Staff arrived in Moscow on
     need.

439.From light to dark.

440. In another sense, much intelligence is worse than if it had not been imagined.
     more

441. Well, the cars are 53 years old - it’s funny to think that they are big, although
     They're big too!

442. The relay machine works like this - “chug-chug-chug”.

443. I came up with the old way.

444. A sheet of paper or something similar... well, let's say, written
     table!

445. The main facial expression is the mouth wide open in surprise.

446. If there is no answer, then let's think.

447. In short, that is, to put it briefly...

448. Of course, all this can be covered with ink, as I did
     using a rag (wiping from the board).

449. There is no stick that can stand!


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